Consider the dark side of niceness: the kind that smiles, nods, and says “Great job!” while anxiety and avoidance hums underneath and the real issues never see daylight.
Social psychologist Tessa West considered anxious niceness—when politeness becomes a coping strategy rather than a leadership skill. Instead of honest feedback, we get:
Unfortunately, harmony and effectiveness do not always go hand in hand. Thoughtful disagreement is where creativity and effectiveness are more likely to occur.
We know about the likability labor women carry - the emotional load at work:
Being agreeable may feel safer—but it comes at a cost. Agreeableness means people don’t get the information they need to improve; high performers feel invisible or stuck and confidence and growth stall. Teams are also affected because problems stay underground until they explode; a nice culture quietly bleeds talent and psychological safety drops—even if everyone is kind.
How do we trade niceness for kind honesty - being specific; making candor routine, not dramatic; addressing conflict early and using simple structures that protect honesty. Do away with nice and bring on kind honesty and candor.
Consider the dark side of niceness: the kind that smiles, nods, and says “Great job!” while anxiety and avoidance hums underneath and the real issues never see daylight.
Social psychologist Tessa West considered anxious niceness—when politeness becomes a coping strategy rather than a leadership skill. Instead of honest feedback, we get:
Unfortunately, harmony and effectiveness do not always go hand in hand. Thoughtful disagreement is where creativity and effectiveness are more likely to occur.
We know about the likability labor women carry - the emotional load at work:
Being agreeable may feel safer—but it comes at a cost. Agreeableness means people don’t get the information they need to improve; high performers feel invisible or stuck and confidence and growth stall. Teams are also affected because problems stay underground until they explode; a nice culture quietly bleeds talent and psychological safety drops—even if everyone is kind.
How do we trade niceness for kind honesty - being specific; making candor routine, not dramatic; addressing conflict early and using simple structures that protect honesty. Do away with nice and bring on kind honesty and candor.
Emotions are not simple cause-and-effect reactions to events, but responses filtered through the stories your mind tells. Your thoughts act as a middleperson between what happens and how you feel, which means distorted thinking can create distorted emotions that don’t actually match reality.
Emotions involve your nervous system, body sensations, thoughts, and sometimes outward behavior; they are adaptive signals, not “good” or “bad.” The intensity, duration, and context of an emotion matter: how long it lasts, how strong it is, and how meaningful the situation is all shape whether your reaction fits the moment.
Cognitive psychologists like Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis showed that emotions are driven by interpretations of events, not the events themselves, which means your feelings often reflect your thoughts about reality more than reality itself. When those interpretations are biased or extreme, your emotions become “amplified,” turning manageable concern into overwhelming dread and often driving unhelpful behaviors at work and in relationships.
The seven emotional amplifiers
Thanks for Listening!
Emotions are not simple cause-and-effect reactions to events, but responses filtered through the stories your mind tells. Your thoughts act as a middleperson between what happens and how you feel, which means distorted thinking can create distorted emotions that don’t actually match reality.
Emotions involve your nervous system, body sensations, thoughts, and sometimes outward behavior; they are adaptive signals, not “good” or “bad.” The intensity, duration, and context of an emotion matter: how long it lasts, how strong it is, and how meaningful the situation is all shape whether your reaction fits the moment.
Cognitive psychologists like Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis showed that emotions are driven by interpretations of events, not the events themselves, which means your feelings often reflect your thoughts about reality more than reality itself. When those interpretations are biased or extreme, your emotions become “amplified,” turning manageable concern into overwhelming dread and often driving unhelpful behaviors at work and in relationships.
The seven emotional amplifiers
Thanks for Listening!
Ditch the stiff year-end reviews—Crina and Kirsten grab the NYT’s “7 Reflection Questions for a Happier New Year” and remix it for work with fun and honesty. Our hosts turn the New Year’s reflection into a playful self-diagnosis for work, riffing off a NYT article’s serious prompts but swapping them for fun, thoughtful, heart-singing versions that spark levity. Kirsten and Crina consider their answers live, revealing what eluded them, drained their energy, and made their hearts sing—proving honest check-ins beat vague resolutions every time. Expect laughs, aha moments, and work tweaks that feel fun, not forced.
Ditch the stiff year-end reviews—Crina and Kirsten grab the NYT’s “7 Reflection Questions for a Happier New Year” and remix it for work with fun and honesty. Our hosts turn the New Year’s reflection into a playful self-diagnosis for work, riffing off a NYT article’s serious prompts but swapping them for fun, thoughtful, heart-singing versions that spark levity. Kirsten and Crina consider their answers live, revealing what eluded them, drained their energy, and made their hearts sing—proving honest check-ins beat vague resolutions every time. Expect laughs, aha moments, and work tweaks that feel fun, not forced.
Celebrations are powerful cultural signals. What we choose to mark, elevate, and honor tells people what truly matters in an organization.
Nearly every cultural or religious tradition celebrates something this time of year, reminding us that humans are wired to pause, connect, and acknowledge progress. The same is true in the workplace. Yet many of us struggle with this. We forget to mark milestones, skip over achievements, and move on to the next task. The research is clear: celebration isn’t frivolous; it’s foundational.
Celebration has transformative effects for individuals. A Socialcast study found that 69% of employees would work harder if they felt more appreciated. Celebration cultivates mutual uplift, shifting recognition from self-promotion to shared success. It increases visibility in a fast-moving workplace, helping people avoid anonymity and reinforcing a reputation for competence. And the act of pausing to reflect on accomplishments strengthens self-awareness and personal growth. Celebrations boost morale, engagement, and loyalty while reducing turnover. They signal emotional safety and genuine appreciation—key ingredients of a healthy culture.
And celebration doesn’t have to be elaborate. A recognition wall, a spontaneous team breakfast, a surprise treat, a personalized note—each small gesture plants a seed. The point isn’t perfection; it’s intention. When we celebrate, we tell our people they matter—and that changes everything. Listen in for celebrations stories from Crina and Kirsten - so fun successes and some horrible warnings.
Celebrations are powerful cultural signals. What we choose to mark, elevate, and honor tells people what truly matters in an organization.
Nearly every cultural or religious tradition celebrates something this time of year, reminding us that humans are wired to pause, connect, and acknowledge progress. The same is true in the workplace. Yet many of us struggle with this. We forget to mark milestones, skip over achievements, and move on to the next task. The research is clear: celebration isn’t frivolous; it’s foundational.
Celebration has transformative effects for individuals. A Socialcast study found that 69% of employees would work harder if they felt more appreciated. Celebration cultivates mutual uplift, shifting recognition from self-promotion to shared success. It increases visibility in a fast-moving workplace, helping people avoid anonymity and reinforcing a reputation for competence. And the act of pausing to reflect on accomplishments strengthens self-awareness and personal growth. Celebrations boost morale, engagement, and loyalty while reducing turnover. They signal emotional safety and genuine appreciation—key ingredients of a healthy culture.
And celebration doesn’t have to be elaborate. A recognition wall, a spontaneous team breakfast, a surprise treat, a personalized note—each small gesture plants a seed. The point isn’t perfection; it’s intention. When we celebrate, we tell our people they matter—and that changes everything. Listen in for celebrations stories from Crina and Kirsten - so fun successes and some horrible warnings.
Here’s part two of the discussion about David Brooks’s book, How to Know a Person. Brooks’ book addresses topics and ideas central to being human - and are maybe more relevant to the workplace - which is a ready made community to apply the principles of knowing each other. This is a two parter because there is A LOT to talk about.
Brooks suggests that the ability to see others deeply—and to allow ourselves to be deeply seen—is essential to human flourishing. He posits that many of today’s social ills, including the loneliness epidemic and widespread mistrust, stem from our habit of skimming relationships, treating people as functions rather than as full, complex selves. The workplace, where we discover what people truly need—everything from health care, rest, culture, belonging—is one of the most powerful settings for rebuilding this lost capacity.
Brooks frames the aspiration of knowing others through the figure of the Illuminator, the person who makes others feel visible, valued, and understood. People - and particularly leaders - who act as Illuminators create psychological safety, mattering, and authenticity— can be cornerstones of strong workplace culture. Illuminators ask better questions, remain present in conversation, and resist one-size-fits-all assumptions. Their counterpart, the Diminisher, those who unintentionally lessen others, sees people through narrow judgment or distraction.
The book unfolds in three broad movements. “I See You” explores the foundations of genuine perception: curiosity, disciplined attention, and the humility to resist fast judgment. Brooks examines the obstacles—egotism, anxiety, naive realism, static mindsets—and contrasts them with the qualities that bring people closer: tenderness, receptivity, affection, generosity. Good conversation becomes an act of care: listening loudly, favoring familiarity, asking questions that make the speaker the author of their experience, and embracing silence as meaning-making.
“I See You in Your Struggles” addresses how disconnection fuels political animosity, technological dehumanization, and profound loneliness. When people aren’t seen, misunderstandings escalate—even to violence. Brooks emphasizes this concept he calls accompaniment: which means being with someone in hardship without rushing to fix them, honoring their unique point of view, and approaching them with humility.
Finally, “I See You With Your Strengths” turns to helping people live into their gifts. Understanding personality traits, life stage, and changing identities allows us to appreciate people in their evolving fullness. Seeing others deeply—at work and beyond—is ultimately the antidote to loneliness and a path to more humane, connected communities - and, as Brooks posits, may even be part of the antidote to our political divide.
Here’s part two of the discussion about David Brooks’s book, How to Know a Person. Brooks’ book addresses topics and ideas central to being human - and are maybe more relevant to the workplace - which is a ready made community to apply the principles of knowing each other. This is a two parter because there is A LOT to talk about.
Brooks suggests that the ability to see others deeply—and to allow ourselves to be deeply seen—is essential to human flourishing. He posits that many of today’s social ills, including the loneliness epidemic and widespread mistrust, stem from our habit of skimming relationships, treating people as functions rather than as full, complex selves. The workplace, where we discover what people truly need—everything from health care, rest, culture, belonging—is one of the most powerful settings for rebuilding this lost capacity.
Brooks frames the aspiration of knowing others through the figure of the Illuminator, the person who makes others feel visible, valued, and understood. People - and particularly leaders - who act as Illuminators create psychological safety, mattering, and authenticity— can be cornerstones of strong workplace culture. Illuminators ask better questions, remain present in conversation, and resist one-size-fits-all assumptions. Their counterpart, the Diminisher, those who unintentionally lessen others, sees people through narrow judgment or distraction.
The book unfolds in three broad movements. “I See You” explores the foundations of genuine perception: curiosity, disciplined attention, and the humility to resist fast judgment. Brooks examines the obstacles—egotism, anxiety, naive realism, static mindsets—and contrasts them with the qualities that bring people closer: tenderness, receptivity, affection, generosity. Good conversation becomes an act of care: listening loudly, favoring familiarity, asking questions that make the speaker the author of their experience, and embracing silence as meaning-making.
“I See You in Your Struggles” addresses how disconnection fuels political animosity, technological dehumanization, and profound loneliness. When people aren’t seen, misunderstandings escalate—even to violence. Brooks emphasizes this concept he calls accompaniment: which means being with someone in hardship without rushing to fix them, honoring their unique point of view, and approaching them with humility.
Finally, “I See You With Your Strengths” turns to helping people live into their gifts. Understanding personality traits, life stage, and changing identities allows us to appreciate people in their evolving fullness. Seeing others deeply—at work and beyond—is ultimately the antidote to loneliness and a path to more humane, connected communities - and, as Brooks posits, may even be part of the antidote to our political divide.
David Brooks’s How to Know a Person addresses topics and ideas central to being human - and are maybe more relevant to the workplace.
Brooks suggests that the ability to see others deeply—and to allow ourselves to be deeply seen—is essential to human flourishing. He posits that many of today’s social ills, including the loneliness epidemic and widespread mistrust, stem from our habit of skimming relationships, treating people as functions rather than as full, complex selves. The workplace, where we discover what people truly need—everything from health care, rest, culture, belonging—is one of the most powerful settings for rebuilding this lost capacity.
Brooks frames the aspiration of knowing others through the figure of the Illuminator, the person who makes others feel visible, valued, and understood. People - and particularly leaders - who act as Illuminators create psychological safety, mattering, and authenticity— can be cornerstones of strong workplace culture. Illuminators ask better questions, remain present in conversation, and resist one-size-fits-all assumptions. Their counterpart, the Diminisher, those who unintentionally lessen others, sees people through narrow judgment or distraction.
The book unfolds in three broad movements. “I See You” explores the foundations of genuine perception: curiosity, disciplined attention, and the humility to resist fast judgment. Brooks examines the obstacles—egotism, anxiety, naive realism, static mindsets—and contrasts them with the qualities that bring people closer: tenderness, receptivity, affection, generosity. Good conversation becomes an act of care: listening loudly, favoring familiarity, asking questions that make the speaker the author of their experience, and embracing silence as meaning-making.
“I See You in Your Struggles” addresses how disconnection fuels political animosity, technological dehumanization, and profound loneliness. When people aren’t seen, misunderstandings escalate—even to violence. Brooks emphasizes this concept he calls accompaniment: which means being with someone in hardship without rushing to fix them, honoring their unique point of view, and approaching them with humility.
Finally, “I See You With Your Strengths” turns to helping people live into their gifts. Understanding personality traits, life stage, and changing identities allows us to appreciate people in their evolving fullness. Seeing others deeply—at work and beyond—is ultimately the antidote to loneliness and a path to more humane, connected communities - and, as Brooks posits, may even be part of the antidote to our political divide.
David Brooks’s How to Know a Person addresses topics and ideas central to being human - and are maybe more relevant to the workplace.
Brooks suggests that the ability to see others deeply—and to allow ourselves to be deeply seen—is essential to human flourishing. He posits that many of today’s social ills, including the loneliness epidemic and widespread mistrust, stem from our habit of skimming relationships, treating people as functions rather than as full, complex selves. The workplace, where we discover what people truly need—everything from health care, rest, culture, belonging—is one of the most powerful settings for rebuilding this lost capacity.
Brooks frames the aspiration of knowing others through the figure of the Illuminator, the person who makes others feel visible, valued, and understood. People - and particularly leaders - who act as Illuminators create psychological safety, mattering, and authenticity— can be cornerstones of strong workplace culture. Illuminators ask better questions, remain present in conversation, and resist one-size-fits-all assumptions. Their counterpart, the Diminisher, those who unintentionally lessen others, sees people through narrow judgment or distraction.
The book unfolds in three broad movements. “I See You” explores the foundations of genuine perception: curiosity, disciplined attention, and the humility to resist fast judgment. Brooks examines the obstacles—egotism, anxiety, naive realism, static mindsets—and contrasts them with the qualities that bring people closer: tenderness, receptivity, affection, generosity. Good conversation becomes an act of care: listening loudly, favoring familiarity, asking questions that make the speaker the author of their experience, and embracing silence as meaning-making.
“I See You in Your Struggles” addresses how disconnection fuels political animosity, technological dehumanization, and profound loneliness. When people aren’t seen, misunderstandings escalate—even to violence. Brooks emphasizes this concept he calls accompaniment: which means being with someone in hardship without rushing to fix them, honoring their unique point of view, and approaching them with humility.
Finally, “I See You With Your Strengths” turns to helping people live into their gifts. Understanding personality traits, life stage, and changing identities allows us to appreciate people in their evolving fullness. Seeing others deeply—at work and beyond—is ultimately the antidote to loneliness and a path to more humane, connected communities - and, as Brooks posits, may even be part of the antidote to our political divide.
In 2025, a record number of Americans—8.5 million—are working two jobs. This surge in “moonlighting” is presenting new challenges for employers and creating big impacts - good and bad for employees. While some workers seek extra income to meet rising living costs and cope with inflation - or guard against uncertainty, others pursue second jobs to gain skills, explore interests, or test entrepreneurial ideas. Women and young adults aged 20–24 are particularly likely to moonlight, often out of both necessity and ambition.
Moonlighting encompasses everything from freelance work and gig economy jobs to online businesses and passion and experiment projects. The concept of two jobs has evolved beyond traditional notions of “after-hours” work and now includes diverse forms of supplemental employment. Working two jobs raises questions about burnout, work-life balance, performance impacts, and whether to implement formal moonlighting policies.
The economic driver behind dual jobholding appears to be motivated by stress over job insecurity, with Gen Z, in particular, struggling. 69% of our Gen Zers live paycheck to paycheck, up from 57% in 2023. Burnout is also escalating. A March 2025 survey revealed 68% of Gen Z workers report burnout, and they’re hitting that wall earlier in life—around age 25—compared to prior generations. The pressure is compounded for women, who are more likely to juggle paid work with caregiving responsibilities, leading to chronic stress, health risks, and strained relationships.
Despite these challenges, second jobs often don’t hurt performance—but they do increase the risk of burnout and work-family conflict. That reality is prompting many forward-thinking employers to rethink their stance on moonlighting, which has generally been negative. Rather than discouraging side gigs, progressive organizations are adopting flexible schedules, mental health support, and career development strategies that align with employees' evolving needs.
Ultimately, moonlighting is not a fleeting trend—it reflects a structural shift in how Americans work and live. By acknowledging and supporting employees who hold second jobs, employers can foster engagement, loyalty, and resilience in an evolving economy. Supporting moonlighters isn't just about accommodating outside work—it's about adapting to a changing workforce with empathy, flexibility, and foresight.
In 2025, a record number of Americans—8.5 million—are working two jobs. This surge in “moonlighting” is presenting new challenges for employers and creating big impacts - good and bad for employees. While some workers seek extra income to meet rising living costs and cope with inflation - or guard against uncertainty, others pursue second jobs to gain skills, explore interests, or test entrepreneurial ideas. Women and young adults aged 20–24 are particularly likely to moonlight, often out of both necessity and ambition.
Moonlighting encompasses everything from freelance work and gig economy jobs to online businesses and passion and experiment projects. The concept of two jobs has evolved beyond traditional notions of “after-hours” work and now includes diverse forms of supplemental employment. Working two jobs raises questions about burnout, work-life balance, performance impacts, and whether to implement formal moonlighting policies.
The economic driver behind dual jobholding appears to be motivated by stress over job insecurity, with Gen Z, in particular, struggling. 69% of our Gen Zers live paycheck to paycheck, up from 57% in 2023. Burnout is also escalating. A March 2025 survey revealed 68% of Gen Z workers report burnout, and they’re hitting that wall earlier in life—around age 25—compared to prior generations. The pressure is compounded for women, who are more likely to juggle paid work with caregiving responsibilities, leading to chronic stress, health risks, and strained relationships.
Despite these challenges, second jobs often don’t hurt performance—but they do increase the risk of burnout and work-family conflict. That reality is prompting many forward-thinking employers to rethink their stance on moonlighting, which has generally been negative. Rather than discouraging side gigs, progressive organizations are adopting flexible schedules, mental health support, and career development strategies that align with employees' evolving needs.
Ultimately, moonlighting is not a fleeting trend—it reflects a structural shift in how Americans work and live. By acknowledging and supporting employees who hold second jobs, employers can foster engagement, loyalty, and resilience in an evolving economy. Supporting moonlighters isn't just about accommodating outside work—it's about adapting to a changing workforce with empathy, flexibility, and foresight.
Feeling drained by Monday? Wondering how you'll survive the week? You're not alone! In this episode of *Crina and Kirsten Get to Work,* we tackle the mental health struggles that weigh us down amid today’s chaotic landscape.
From political turmoil to women's healthcare rights and the financial crunch from inflation, countless issues amplify our anxiety. With 1 in 5 women facing mental health challenges—think depression, PTSD, and anxiety—it's crucial to spotlight the unique hurdles women encounter, including the burden of unpaid labor and the ever-present pay gap.
Recent research shows that women experience mental health conditions differently than men, and we're unpacking it all. We'll discuss the critical role of connection—our go-to remedy for many mental health issues—even when social interactions feel like climbing a mountain. Setting boundaries and carving out time for self-care isn't just important; it's essential.
Join us as we break the stigma, share our insights on mental wellness, and ponder if a smaller circle might just be the secret to healing in our demanding world. It’s time to put your mental health first—tune in for the tools and conversation you need to thrive!
Feeling drained by Monday? Wondering how you'll survive the week? You're not alone! In this episode of *Crina and Kirsten Get to Work,* we tackle the mental health struggles that weigh us down amid today’s chaotic landscape.
From political turmoil to women's healthcare rights and the financial crunch from inflation, countless issues amplify our anxiety. With 1 in 5 women facing mental health challenges—think depression, PTSD, and anxiety—it's crucial to spotlight the unique hurdles women encounter, including the burden of unpaid labor and the ever-present pay gap.
Recent research shows that women experience mental health conditions differently than men, and we're unpacking it all. We'll discuss the critical role of connection—our go-to remedy for many mental health issues—even when social interactions feel like climbing a mountain. Setting boundaries and carving out time for self-care isn't just important; it's essential.
Join us as we break the stigma, share our insights on mental wellness, and ponder if a smaller circle might just be the secret to healing in our demanding world. It’s time to put your mental health first—tune in for the tools and conversation you need to thrive!
Reverse mentoring flips the script, pairing ambitious younger employees with seasoned leaders to share insights on today’s hot topics, from tech trends to leadership styles. First popularized by Jack Welch at GE in the '90s, it’s now a strategic powerhouse for attracting and retaining young talent.
The magic happens when the right pairs are formed—think introverts with extroverts—to spark dynamic conversations. Engaging mentees in the process is key, as addressing any fears about crossing hierarchical lines lays the groundwork for trust. Without commitment, even the best matches can fizzle out.
The perks are hard to ignore: Companies with reverse mentoring programs report a 72% boost in communication and an impressive 96% retention rate for younger employees. Participants leave feeling empowered, fostering innovation and keeping leaders in tune with market shifts. Plus, it amplifies diversity and inclusion by shedding light on workplace challenges.
Take BNY Mellon, where the program has deepened connections and encouraged leaders to seek employee input. Others, like Estée Lauder and British Airways, have tapped into reverse mentoring to drive culture change and dismantle barriers.
In short, reverse mentoring is a two-way street, turning the wisdom of experience into fresh perspectives that invigorate the workplace.
Reverse mentoring flips the script, pairing ambitious younger employees with seasoned leaders to share insights on today’s hot topics, from tech trends to leadership styles. First popularized by Jack Welch at GE in the '90s, it’s now a strategic powerhouse for attracting and retaining young talent.
The magic happens when the right pairs are formed—think introverts with extroverts—to spark dynamic conversations. Engaging mentees in the process is key, as addressing any fears about crossing hierarchical lines lays the groundwork for trust. Without commitment, even the best matches can fizzle out.
The perks are hard to ignore: Companies with reverse mentoring programs report a 72% boost in communication and an impressive 96% retention rate for younger employees. Participants leave feeling empowered, fostering innovation and keeping leaders in tune with market shifts. Plus, it amplifies diversity and inclusion by shedding light on workplace challenges.
Take BNY Mellon, where the program has deepened connections and encouraged leaders to seek employee input. Others, like Estée Lauder and British Airways, have tapped into reverse mentoring to drive culture change and dismantle barriers.
In short, reverse mentoring is a two-way street, turning the wisdom of experience into fresh perspectives that invigorate the workplace.
In the fast-paced world of work, the simple act of observation is often overlooked—yet it offers a real and measurable edge. Research shows that the ability to “read the room,” such as recognizing emotions in others’ faces and voices, provides valuable insight into unspoken dynamics like mood shifts, alliances, or resistance.
Observation creates the feeling of being seen and heard—for both the observer and those around them. Observation requires not focusing cognitively, but noticing yourself, others, and the environment in real time, with awareness and intention. Writer David Brooks refers to particularly attentive individuals as “illuminators”—those who are persistently curious about others and help people feel truly understood. In contrast, “diminishers” are too self-absorbed to notice what’s happening around them.
Despite our good intentions, there are forces that work against our ability to observe. Power, for instance, has been shown to reduce perspective-taking and awareness of others. To combat this, leaders and people in power should deliberately switch into “observer mode,” especially in rooms where power dynamics are unequal. Other barriers include our negativity bias (we over-focusing on flaws), inattentional blindness (we miss what’s routine or familiar), and our psychological state (stress and urgency diminish our ability to notice others' needs).
There are practical, field-tested strategies to restore and strengthen observational power. Techniques include strategies listing “three good things” noticed during the day, using two-column notes (content vs. process), timeboxed round-robins to ensure equal airtime, and asking diagnostic questions like “What are we not seeing?” or “How could this fail?” Silent writing before group discussions helps quieter observers contribute, while brief reflective summaries during meetings—e.g., “Here’s what I’m hearing; what did I miss?”—can flush out hidden disagreement and signal active listening.
Finally, leaders should watch out for “power fog.” When those in charge speak with certainty, it’s critical to double-check assumptions and seek out dissenting or overlooked perspectives.
Observation is a particularly crucial leadership tool—but it is important for all of us - and as Kirsten says, observation is surprisingly entertaining, often revealing, and always worth slowing down for.
Good Reads:
The Silent Sex: Gender, Deliberation, and Institutions
Power and Perspectives Not Taken
What Great Listeners Actually Do
In the fast-paced world of work, the simple act of observation is often overlooked—yet it offers a real and measurable edge. Research shows that the ability to “read the room,” such as recognizing emotions in others’ faces and voices, provides valuable insight into unspoken dynamics like mood shifts, alliances, or resistance.
Observation creates the feeling of being seen and heard—for both the observer and those around them. Observation requires not focusing cognitively, but noticing yourself, others, and the environment in real time, with awareness and intention. Writer David Brooks refers to particularly attentive individuals as “illuminators”—those who are persistently curious about others and help people feel truly understood. In contrast, “diminishers” are too self-absorbed to notice what’s happening around them.
Despite our good intentions, there are forces that work against our ability to observe. Power, for instance, has been shown to reduce perspective-taking and awareness of others. To combat this, leaders and people in power should deliberately switch into “observer mode,” especially in rooms where power dynamics are unequal. Other barriers include our negativity bias (we over-focusing on flaws), inattentional blindness (we miss what’s routine or familiar), and our psychological state (stress and urgency diminish our ability to notice others' needs).
There are practical, field-tested strategies to restore and strengthen observational power. Techniques include strategies listing “three good things” noticed during the day, using two-column notes (content vs. process), timeboxed round-robins to ensure equal airtime, and asking diagnostic questions like “What are we not seeing?” or “How could this fail?” Silent writing before group discussions helps quieter observers contribute, while brief reflective summaries during meetings—e.g., “Here’s what I’m hearing; what did I miss?”—can flush out hidden disagreement and signal active listening.
Finally, leaders should watch out for “power fog.” When those in charge speak with certainty, it’s critical to double-check assumptions and seek out dissenting or overlooked perspectives.
Observation is a particularly crucial leadership tool—but it is important for all of us - and as Kirsten says, observation is surprisingly entertaining, often revealing, and always worth slowing down for.
Good Reads:
The Silent Sex: Gender, Deliberation, and Institutions
Power and Perspectives Not Taken
What Great Listeners Actually Do
The transition to a leadership role is a significant and often challenging shift. Research shows that over 60% of new managers fail to make this transition effectively. This is largely because leadership is not simply a scaled-up version of individual contribution; it requires a fundamental change in mindset, behavior, and priorities.
Leaders must redefine success from personal achievement to enabling team performance. This includes developing empathy, resolving complex team conflicts, and delegating effectively. Delegation is especially crucial—it not only distributes workload but also fosters team development. New leaders must learn how to set expectations, offer appropriate support, and monitor progress without micromanaging.
Our motivation at work changes because our role changes - we are no longer the top performer, but supporting others to be the top performer. Self-awareness also becomes more important. A leader’s emotions and behaviors have broader impacts, so maintaining composure and understanding one’s influence on others is key. Conflict resolution becomes even more important in a leadership role.Reflection takes on a larger role; leaders need to routinely evaluate what’s working, what’s not, and how their leadership style affects outcomes.
Common pitfalls derail many new leaders. These include trying to do too much too quickly, over-relying on authority, micromanaging out of fear, making hasty changes, and lacking clarity around leadership philosophy and mindset. New leaders also struggle with setting boundaries, aligning with their boss’s priorities, and effectively communicating unpopular changes.
Harvard suggests three major mindset shifts to ease the transition:
Success in leadership comes from building systems, letting go of control and trusting others.
GOOD READS
Navigating the Jump from Manager to Executive
Ease your Transition from Individual Contributor to Leader | Odgers
The transition to a leadership role is a significant and often challenging shift. Research shows that over 60% of new managers fail to make this transition effectively. This is largely because leadership is not simply a scaled-up version of individual contribution; it requires a fundamental change in mindset, behavior, and priorities.
Leaders must redefine success from personal achievement to enabling team performance. This includes developing empathy, resolving complex team conflicts, and delegating effectively. Delegation is especially crucial—it not only distributes workload but also fosters team development. New leaders must learn how to set expectations, offer appropriate support, and monitor progress without micromanaging.
Our motivation at work changes because our role changes - we are no longer the top performer, but supporting others to be the top performer. Self-awareness also becomes more important. A leader’s emotions and behaviors have broader impacts, so maintaining composure and understanding one’s influence on others is key. Conflict resolution becomes even more important in a leadership role.Reflection takes on a larger role; leaders need to routinely evaluate what’s working, what’s not, and how their leadership style affects outcomes.
Common pitfalls derail many new leaders. These include trying to do too much too quickly, over-relying on authority, micromanaging out of fear, making hasty changes, and lacking clarity around leadership philosophy and mindset. New leaders also struggle with setting boundaries, aligning with their boss’s priorities, and effectively communicating unpopular changes.
Harvard suggests three major mindset shifts to ease the transition:
Success in leadership comes from building systems, letting go of control and trusting others.
GOOD READS
Navigating the Jump from Manager to Executive
Ease your Transition from Individual Contributor to Leader | Odgers
For most of us, workplace engagement isn’t a solo sport—it’s a team one. The ADP (yes, the payroll people) Research Institute’s study across 19 countries found that most of us, regardless of company size, are immersed in team life. In companies of 150 or more employees, 82% of employees work on teams, and nearly 3/4ths juggle more than one team. Even if your employer has fewer than 20 people, 2/3rds of us are teaming up on one, two or even three teams. This matters: team membership doubles our odds of scoring high on Gallup’s engagement metrics, with this research concluding that the sweet spot belonging is being on five distinct teams. It is not just the number of teams, but whether we trust the team leader that can make us 12 times more likely to be fully engaged.
Let’s go back to the holy grail of Google’s Project Aristotle, which took team-obsession to a new level. Google spent twp years studying 180 teams to crack the high-performing team code. They discovered that talent and resources aren’t the magic ingredients—they’re just the gravy. The meat and potatoes or tofu and rice for the team? Psychological safety—the freedom to speak up, take risks, and make mistakes without fear of public humiliation. It turns out, when people feel safe to contribute, they get bold, creative, and collaborative. Leaders create psychological safety with dependability, structure and clarity, meaning, and impact.
McKinsey’s research builds on this, showing that effective teams come in different “archetypes.” A cycling team is like a NASCAR pit crew—specialized, coordinated, but with independent metrics. Agile software teams are more like relay squads—high interdependence and shared outcomes, where dropped balls ripple through the race. Surgical teams? Think rowing crew—total synchronicity, clearly defined roles, and an unshakable sense of belonging.
To truly hum, teams need to tend to their “health drivers,” grouped into four areas. Configuration means having the right roles and perspectives. Alignment is clarity on purpose and shared commitment. Execution covers collaboration, communication, decision making, and feedback. Renewal—the often-overlooked one—ensures long-term sustainability through belonging, psychological safety, recognition, and trust.
Not every team needs to nail all of the team health drivers - of the 17 identified health drivers even top performing teams are only “very good” at about 11, which is like a C-! Four health drivers stand out as the performance heavyweights: trust, communication, innovative thinking, and decision making.
Much of this is what we know - what is surprising is that just getting some of the elements that create healthy and effective teams right is a game-changer in the workplace.
For most of us, workplace engagement isn’t a solo sport—it’s a team one. The ADP (yes, the payroll people) Research Institute’s study across 19 countries found that most of us, regardless of company size, are immersed in team life. In companies of 150 or more employees, 82% of employees work on teams, and nearly 3/4ths juggle more than one team. Even if your employer has fewer than 20 people, 2/3rds of us are teaming up on one, two or even three teams. This matters: team membership doubles our odds of scoring high on Gallup’s engagement metrics, with this research concluding that the sweet spot belonging is being on five distinct teams. It is not just the number of teams, but whether we trust the team leader that can make us 12 times more likely to be fully engaged.
Let’s go back to the holy grail of Google’s Project Aristotle, which took team-obsession to a new level. Google spent twp years studying 180 teams to crack the high-performing team code. They discovered that talent and resources aren’t the magic ingredients—they’re just the gravy. The meat and potatoes or tofu and rice for the team? Psychological safety—the freedom to speak up, take risks, and make mistakes without fear of public humiliation. It turns out, when people feel safe to contribute, they get bold, creative, and collaborative. Leaders create psychological safety with dependability, structure and clarity, meaning, and impact.
McKinsey’s research builds on this, showing that effective teams come in different “archetypes.” A cycling team is like a NASCAR pit crew—specialized, coordinated, but with independent metrics. Agile software teams are more like relay squads—high interdependence and shared outcomes, where dropped balls ripple through the race. Surgical teams? Think rowing crew—total synchronicity, clearly defined roles, and an unshakable sense of belonging.
To truly hum, teams need to tend to their “health drivers,” grouped into four areas. Configuration means having the right roles and perspectives. Alignment is clarity on purpose and shared commitment. Execution covers collaboration, communication, decision making, and feedback. Renewal—the often-overlooked one—ensures long-term sustainability through belonging, psychological safety, recognition, and trust.
Not every team needs to nail all of the team health drivers - of the 17 identified health drivers even top performing teams are only “very good” at about 11, which is like a C-! Four health drivers stand out as the performance heavyweights: trust, communication, innovative thinking, and decision making.
Much of this is what we know - what is surprising is that just getting some of the elements that create healthy and effective teams right is a game-changer in the workplace.
The review process is in general not great. Research says only 21% of your review reflects your actual performance. The other 79%? Reviewer preferences, interpretation differences, and who happened to see you shine—or not. One person’s “excellent communicator” is another’s “talks too much at meetings.” Welcome to the land of subjectivity.
And let’s not forget the recency bias. Most of us can’t remember what we had for lunch last week, let alone your Q1 wins. Performance reviews often rely heavily on the last six weeks—which means your January brilliance is now irrelevant.
We start with a flawed process that can feel deeply personal, which as we know is a bad mix for our ease, meaning and joy at work.
So what can we do?
Before the review, ask: What’s expected of me? What’s the goal of this review? Do you want a response? When?
During the review:
If you're surprised by feedback, that’s probably not failure—it’s probably information. Maybe your boss doesn’t give real-time feedback. Maybe expectations were never clearly shared. And there are times when we can be just not plugged in and self-aware - considering why we are surprised can be very helpful.
And remember: this isn’t just feedback on you. It’s also a window into your boss, your team, and your company. There’s data in how they deliver feedback, what they notice, and what they miss.
So take a breath. Accept the review as just one piece of a much bigger picture. Learn what you can. Then, let it go, Elsa. Let it go.
GOOD READS
Why You Might Want to Say Goodbye to the Annual Performance Review | Working Knowledge
How to Respond to a Performance Review: 9 Tips Employees Need to Know — ManageBetter
17 Phrases To Respond to Constructive Criticism, According to Psychologists - Parade
The review process is in general not great. Research says only 21% of your review reflects your actual performance. The other 79%? Reviewer preferences, interpretation differences, and who happened to see you shine—or not. One person’s “excellent communicator” is another’s “talks too much at meetings.” Welcome to the land of subjectivity.
And let’s not forget the recency bias. Most of us can’t remember what we had for lunch last week, let alone your Q1 wins. Performance reviews often rely heavily on the last six weeks—which means your January brilliance is now irrelevant.
We start with a flawed process that can feel deeply personal, which as we know is a bad mix for our ease, meaning and joy at work.
So what can we do?
Before the review, ask: What’s expected of me? What’s the goal of this review? Do you want a response? When?
During the review:
If you're surprised by feedback, that’s probably not failure—it’s probably information. Maybe your boss doesn’t give real-time feedback. Maybe expectations were never clearly shared. And there are times when we can be just not plugged in and self-aware - considering why we are surprised can be very helpful.
And remember: this isn’t just feedback on you. It’s also a window into your boss, your team, and your company. There’s data in how they deliver feedback, what they notice, and what they miss.
So take a breath. Accept the review as just one piece of a much bigger picture. Learn what you can. Then, let it go, Elsa. Let it go.
GOOD READS
Why You Might Want to Say Goodbye to the Annual Performance Review | Working Knowledge
How to Respond to a Performance Review: 9 Tips Employees Need to Know — ManageBetter
17 Phrases To Respond to Constructive Criticism, According to Psychologists - Parade
While openness can build trust, there's a fine line between “vulnerable” and “uh-oh.” Brené Brown, the goddess, says oversharing isn’t true vulnerability—it can actually result in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.
So why do we overshare at work?
Sometimes it is because we want to feel seen. Without our usual support systems—family, friends, faith, community—we sometimes turn our coworkers into unwilling therapists. Stress is another biggie – and can cause all of us to vent from time to time. We mistake emotional outbursts for “processing.” Sometimes we don’t realize we’ve gone too far. Sometimes we misread culture. Social media has created norms of sharing that are in many cases not appropriate in the workplace.
Oversharing risks include: damaged credibility; gossip fuel, confused boundaries and just uncomfortable moments, which lead to uncomfortable relationships.
There is some clear guidance here - graphic health details, romantic chaos, money problems, coworker critiques, political or religious rants, constant negativity, and good old-fashioned trauma-dumping are no-gos. Save that for your best friend.
But here’s the nuance: not all sharing is bad. Strategic vulnerability builds trust when we consider relevance, timing, and audience. Saying “I’m overwhelmed” during a tough week = helpful. Saying “my child was arrested this week and is in jail” in the middle of the Monday morning staff meeting = probably nope. Telling your supervisor – in private – or a trusted coworker, probably yes. Your child’s arrest is not relevant to the Monday meeting, but it could very well be relevant to your performance and the need for time off so talking with your boss is appropriate because it is relevant and just with your boss at a time which of course you have confirmed is convenient. Relevance. Timing. Audience.
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re fences with gates. Absolutely we should open those gates, but wisely.
Good Reads (and a video!):
How to Stop Oversharing at Work (and Move On If You Slip) | The Muse
What to Share, What to Hold Back
The risks of oversharing at work are real. Here's how to set better boundaries - Fast Company
…vulnerability vs. oversharing — where to draw a line?
While openness can build trust, there's a fine line between “vulnerable” and “uh-oh.” Brené Brown, the goddess, says oversharing isn’t true vulnerability—it can actually result in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.
So why do we overshare at work?
Sometimes it is because we want to feel seen. Without our usual support systems—family, friends, faith, community—we sometimes turn our coworkers into unwilling therapists. Stress is another biggie – and can cause all of us to vent from time to time. We mistake emotional outbursts for “processing.” Sometimes we don’t realize we’ve gone too far. Sometimes we misread culture. Social media has created norms of sharing that are in many cases not appropriate in the workplace.
Oversharing risks include: damaged credibility; gossip fuel, confused boundaries and just uncomfortable moments, which lead to uncomfortable relationships.
There is some clear guidance here - graphic health details, romantic chaos, money problems, coworker critiques, political or religious rants, constant negativity, and good old-fashioned trauma-dumping are no-gos. Save that for your best friend.
But here’s the nuance: not all sharing is bad. Strategic vulnerability builds trust when we consider relevance, timing, and audience. Saying “I’m overwhelmed” during a tough week = helpful. Saying “my child was arrested this week and is in jail” in the middle of the Monday morning staff meeting = probably nope. Telling your supervisor – in private – or a trusted coworker, probably yes. Your child’s arrest is not relevant to the Monday meeting, but it could very well be relevant to your performance and the need for time off so talking with your boss is appropriate because it is relevant and just with your boss at a time which of course you have confirmed is convenient. Relevance. Timing. Audience.
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re fences with gates. Absolutely we should open those gates, but wisely.
Good Reads (and a video!):
How to Stop Oversharing at Work (and Move On If You Slip) | The Muse
What to Share, What to Hold Back
The risks of oversharing at work are real. Here's how to set better boundaries - Fast Company
…vulnerability vs. oversharing — where to draw a line?
Joy! Joy! Joy!
SHOW NOTESLet’s start with a clarification: happiness and joy are not identical twins. Happiness is that bubbly high you get from winning a raffle or finding a parking spot downtown—it’s external, fleeting, like confetti in the wind. Joy, on the other hand, is more of a soul-deep warmth—steady, internal, and linked to meaning and purpose. Happiness is like a 4th of July sparkler and joy is a campfire that keeps you cozy when life gets chilly.
Research says we all need three things for a fulfilling life: achievement, meaning, and joy.
Most overachievers nail the first two. But joy? That elusive third wheel often gets left in the dust under a pile of emails and grocery lists for our resident overachievers.
Why? It is just a matter of time, or rather lack thereof. A study of 1,500 busy Harvard alums found that after work, chores, and basic hygiene, people had a whopping three hours a day left for discretionary joy-seeking. How those three hours are spent is as important as the three hours themselves. Some folks squeezed the last drop of joy out of those hours and others, well, not so much.
So, how do the joy-masters do it?
In the end, joy isn’t a luxury—it’s a rebellion, a survival tactic, and maybe, just maybe, your best productivity hack yet.
Good Reads:How the Busiest People Find Joy
Unwrapping the Science of Joy - John Templeton Foundation
Joy! Joy! Joy!
SHOW NOTESLet’s start with a clarification: happiness and joy are not identical twins. Happiness is that bubbly high you get from winning a raffle or finding a parking spot downtown—it’s external, fleeting, like confetti in the wind. Joy, on the other hand, is more of a soul-deep warmth—steady, internal, and linked to meaning and purpose. Happiness is like a 4th of July sparkler and joy is a campfire that keeps you cozy when life gets chilly.
Research says we all need three things for a fulfilling life: achievement, meaning, and joy.
Most overachievers nail the first two. But joy? That elusive third wheel often gets left in the dust under a pile of emails and grocery lists for our resident overachievers.
Why? It is just a matter of time, or rather lack thereof. A study of 1,500 busy Harvard alums found that after work, chores, and basic hygiene, people had a whopping three hours a day left for discretionary joy-seeking. How those three hours are spent is as important as the three hours themselves. Some folks squeezed the last drop of joy out of those hours and others, well, not so much.
So, how do the joy-masters do it?
In the end, joy isn’t a luxury—it’s a rebellion, a survival tactic, and maybe, just maybe, your best productivity hack yet.
Good Reads:How the Busiest People Find Joy
Unwrapping the Science of Joy - John Templeton Foundation
It’s time to focus on the often-misunderstood art of assertiveness—what it is, what it isn’t, and how learning to speak up for yourself with clarity and respect, which can change your life! Whether it’s Crina telling it like it is or just learning to speak up with friends, this episode illustrates just how transformative assertiveness can be, especially for those of us who’ve spent years saying “yes” when we really meant “no.”
Drawing on guidance from the Mayo Clinic, the episode breaks down assertiveness as a healthy, balanced communication style—firm but respectful, confident without being combative. It’s a powerful antidote to stress, resentment, and burnout, especially if you tend to overextend yourself in an effort to keep the peace. Unlike aggression, which bulldozes others, or passivity, which erases your own needs, assertiveness helps you communicate clearly while still honoring relationships and boundaries.
Listeners are reminded that assertiveness isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about knowing what you need, expressing it directly, and listening to others with the same respect you expect in return. It’s a skill, not a personality trait, and it can be learned and practiced. The episode offers practical tools: use “I” statements to own your feelings, practice saying no without apology, and pay attention to your body language—standing tall, making eye contact, giving yourself some time to respond and staying calm in moments of tension. And any of us who struggle with this may want to start small.
You’ll also learn how to identify the traps of passive or passive-aggressive behavior—like saying yes when you mean no, or expressing frustration through sarcasm—and how these patterns can damage relationships and leave you feeling powerless. With time and effort, assertiveness can lead to greater self-confidence, healthier connections, and more honest communication both at work and in your personal life.
The takeaway? Assertiveness isn’t just about getting what you want—it’s about being clear about who you are. Whether you’re dealing with a pushy colleague, a longtime friend, or a well-meaning but overbearing father-in-law, learning to assert yourself with clarity, confidence and calm is one of the most powerful tools we can develop.
Good Read:
Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better - Mayo Clinic
It’s time to focus on the often-misunderstood art of assertiveness—what it is, what it isn’t, and how learning to speak up for yourself with clarity and respect, which can change your life! Whether it’s Crina telling it like it is or just learning to speak up with friends, this episode illustrates just how transformative assertiveness can be, especially for those of us who’ve spent years saying “yes” when we really meant “no.”
Drawing on guidance from the Mayo Clinic, the episode breaks down assertiveness as a healthy, balanced communication style—firm but respectful, confident without being combative. It’s a powerful antidote to stress, resentment, and burnout, especially if you tend to overextend yourself in an effort to keep the peace. Unlike aggression, which bulldozes others, or passivity, which erases your own needs, assertiveness helps you communicate clearly while still honoring relationships and boundaries.
Listeners are reminded that assertiveness isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about knowing what you need, expressing it directly, and listening to others with the same respect you expect in return. It’s a skill, not a personality trait, and it can be learned and practiced. The episode offers practical tools: use “I” statements to own your feelings, practice saying no without apology, and pay attention to your body language—standing tall, making eye contact, giving yourself some time to respond and staying calm in moments of tension. And any of us who struggle with this may want to start small.
You’ll also learn how to identify the traps of passive or passive-aggressive behavior—like saying yes when you mean no, or expressing frustration through sarcasm—and how these patterns can damage relationships and leave you feeling powerless. With time and effort, assertiveness can lead to greater self-confidence, healthier connections, and more honest communication both at work and in your personal life.
The takeaway? Assertiveness isn’t just about getting what you want—it’s about being clear about who you are. Whether you’re dealing with a pushy colleague, a longtime friend, or a well-meaning but overbearing father-in-law, learning to assert yourself with clarity, confidence and calm is one of the most powerful tools we can develop.
Good Read:
Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better - Mayo Clinic
“Mattering,” is one of the most underrated superpowers in the workplace!. Not "I got a cupcake on my work anniversary" mattering—but the real, gut-level kind where you feel seen, valued, and essential. Turns out, this isn't fluff. According to Crina, It's fuel.
Now, let’s clear something up: mattering isn’t the same as belonging. Belonging says, “You’re one of us.” Mattering says, “You’re essential to us.” It’s not just about being invited to the meeting—it’s knowing your presence changes what happens in the room.
We explore how leaders can make mattering happen through one simple (but wildly uncommon) practice: noticing. It’s seeing your team for more than their output. It’s remembering that Ava’s prepping for a big client meeting or that Margaret is quietly holding the team together. As an example, it is the lovely leader who wrote down one meaningful detail about each employee every Friday and followed up on Mondays. No grand gestures—just consistent, personal attention. Her team was consistently the most engaged in the building.
And it’s not just about seeing—it’s about hearing. We go beyond the nod-and-smile version of active listening to something deeper. It’s listening for total meaning—what people say, how they say it, what they don’t say, and what they’re feeling underneath. It’s following up. It’s asking, “What did you mean by that?” or “How did that feel?” or “Tell me more” and being ready to actually hear the answer.
We also talk about how to affirm people without sounding like a motivational poster. True affirmation is personal and specific. It’s not “you’re amazing”—it’s “your attention to detail really added to the quality of our work product.” When people feel their unique strengths are noticed, they show up stronger, take feedback better, and stay longer.
Ease. Meaning. Joy. They’re not nice-to-haves. They’re what happens when people know they matter. Let’s get after creating some mattering!
More to read:
“Mattering,” is one of the most underrated superpowers in the workplace!. Not "I got a cupcake on my work anniversary" mattering—but the real, gut-level kind where you feel seen, valued, and essential. Turns out, this isn't fluff. According to Crina, It's fuel.
Now, let’s clear something up: mattering isn’t the same as belonging. Belonging says, “You’re one of us.” Mattering says, “You’re essential to us.” It’s not just about being invited to the meeting—it’s knowing your presence changes what happens in the room.
We explore how leaders can make mattering happen through one simple (but wildly uncommon) practice: noticing. It’s seeing your team for more than their output. It’s remembering that Ava’s prepping for a big client meeting or that Margaret is quietly holding the team together. As an example, it is the lovely leader who wrote down one meaningful detail about each employee every Friday and followed up on Mondays. No grand gestures—just consistent, personal attention. Her team was consistently the most engaged in the building.
And it’s not just about seeing—it’s about hearing. We go beyond the nod-and-smile version of active listening to something deeper. It’s listening for total meaning—what people say, how they say it, what they don’t say, and what they’re feeling underneath. It’s following up. It’s asking, “What did you mean by that?” or “How did that feel?” or “Tell me more” and being ready to actually hear the answer.
We also talk about how to affirm people without sounding like a motivational poster. True affirmation is personal and specific. It’s not “you’re amazing”—it’s “your attention to detail really added to the quality of our work product.” When people feel their unique strengths are noticed, they show up stronger, take feedback better, and stay longer.
Ease. Meaning. Joy. They’re not nice-to-haves. They’re what happens when people know they matter. Let’s get after creating some mattering!
More to read:
There’s a persistent and punishing myth out there: that a college degree is the only ticket to a good life. Spoiler alert—it’s not. And the people hit hardest by this myth? Women without degrees, especially women of color, who are holding up families, caregiving, and entire communities while being boxed out of opportunity by arbitrary job requirements and social stigma.
Four out of five non-graduates say they’ve experienced some form of judgment for not having a degree. Education-based stigma and discrimination among young adults not in 4-year college | BMC Psychology. Many employers still cling to degree requirements as if they are a magic wand for competence. Meanwhile, a generation of students is waking up to the fact that college isn’t the only (or even the best) path. In 2023, there were four million fewer college students than a decade ago. Interesting.
But for non-college women, the journey without packing a college degree is anything but scenic. The economic reality is significant. Half of working-age non-college women aren’t working full-time. Their median annual income is just $35,000—30% less than non-college men. And while non-college men still find decent-paying jobs in fields like manufacturing or construction, the landscape for women is shrinking fast. Their sectors—think retail, caregiving, service—are unstable, underpaid, and rarely lead to careers. Third Way.
And yet, these women are the backbone of millions of households. Nearly four million homes with children rely solely on the income of a woman without a college degree. And while certificates and credentials could help, they don’t offer women the same financial bump they give men. A woman earns just a 16% wage premium from a certificate; men get 27%.
So why do degree requirements still rule? Employers think they signal capability. But studies are questioning the ROI of four-year degrees, and forward-thinking companies (and states!) are finally ditching the B.A. bias. More than 20 states have scrapped degree mandates for government jobs, and Congress is cooking up bipartisan plans to fund non-traditional learning paths through the Stronger Workforce for America Act and the Workforce Pell Act.
The takeaway? The “paper ceiling” is cracking. But breaking it wide open means recognizing that skill, drive, and talent don’t come with a diploma. It’s time we rewrite the rules—and the résumés—to build a workforce that actually works for everyone.
Another good read:
There’s a persistent and punishing myth out there: that a college degree is the only ticket to a good life. Spoiler alert—it’s not. And the people hit hardest by this myth? Women without degrees, especially women of color, who are holding up families, caregiving, and entire communities while being boxed out of opportunity by arbitrary job requirements and social stigma.
Four out of five non-graduates say they’ve experienced some form of judgment for not having a degree. Education-based stigma and discrimination among young adults not in 4-year college | BMC Psychology. Many employers still cling to degree requirements as if they are a magic wand for competence. Meanwhile, a generation of students is waking up to the fact that college isn’t the only (or even the best) path. In 2023, there were four million fewer college students than a decade ago. Interesting.
But for non-college women, the journey without packing a college degree is anything but scenic. The economic reality is significant. Half of working-age non-college women aren’t working full-time. Their median annual income is just $35,000—30% less than non-college men. And while non-college men still find decent-paying jobs in fields like manufacturing or construction, the landscape for women is shrinking fast. Their sectors—think retail, caregiving, service—are unstable, underpaid, and rarely lead to careers. Third Way.
And yet, these women are the backbone of millions of households. Nearly four million homes with children rely solely on the income of a woman without a college degree. And while certificates and credentials could help, they don’t offer women the same financial bump they give men. A woman earns just a 16% wage premium from a certificate; men get 27%.
So why do degree requirements still rule? Employers think they signal capability. But studies are questioning the ROI of four-year degrees, and forward-thinking companies (and states!) are finally ditching the B.A. bias. More than 20 states have scrapped degree mandates for government jobs, and Congress is cooking up bipartisan plans to fund non-traditional learning paths through the Stronger Workforce for America Act and the Workforce Pell Act.
The takeaway? The “paper ceiling” is cracking. But breaking it wide open means recognizing that skill, drive, and talent don’t come with a diploma. It’s time we rewrite the rules—and the résumés—to build a workforce that actually works for everyone.
Another good read:
Trust in leadership is eroding, with only about one in five employees reporting confidence in their leaders (Gallup, 2023). What’s going wrong—and more importantly, what does it take to lead in a way that earns trust? The answer to this question is simply bringing our authentic selves to our leadership.
Research on authentic leadership shows that effective leaders don’t follow a specific checklist of traits or styles. Instead, leadership grows from a much deeper place: our life stories. Drawing from interviews with over 100 leaders and thousands of pages of transcripts, researchers found that great leadership is shaped through real-world challenges, self-reflection, and a willingness to lead from our values. Discovering Your Authentic Leadership
Authentic leaders aren’t simply “being themselves”—they’re doing the ongoing work of knowing themselves. That includes:
-Reflecting on life experiences, including adversity, to understand what drives them -Practicing their values, especially when it’s hard or costly -Balancing extrinsic rewards (recognition, promotions) with intrinsic purpose (meaning, impact) -Building strong support teams that offer perspective, truth, and unconditional encouragement
This research challenges the idea that leadership is about image, status, or "executive presence." Instead, proposes effective leadership grounded in honesty, clarity, and the courage to lead with integrity—even when it is uncomfortable or comes at a price.
Our life experiences are what can create a platform for strong leadership - everything from working with some not-so-great bosses to how parents, losses, and major setbacks can unexpectedly shape our leadership style.
Authentic leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to live your questions out loud.
Another good read:
Why Trust in Leaders Is Faltering and How to Gain It Back.
Trust in leadership is eroding, with only about one in five employees reporting confidence in their leaders (Gallup, 2023). What’s going wrong—and more importantly, what does it take to lead in a way that earns trust? The answer to this question is simply bringing our authentic selves to our leadership.
Research on authentic leadership shows that effective leaders don’t follow a specific checklist of traits or styles. Instead, leadership grows from a much deeper place: our life stories. Drawing from interviews with over 100 leaders and thousands of pages of transcripts, researchers found that great leadership is shaped through real-world challenges, self-reflection, and a willingness to lead from our values. Discovering Your Authentic Leadership
Authentic leaders aren’t simply “being themselves”—they’re doing the ongoing work of knowing themselves. That includes:
-Reflecting on life experiences, including adversity, to understand what drives them -Practicing their values, especially when it’s hard or costly -Balancing extrinsic rewards (recognition, promotions) with intrinsic purpose (meaning, impact) -Building strong support teams that offer perspective, truth, and unconditional encouragement
This research challenges the idea that leadership is about image, status, or "executive presence." Instead, proposes effective leadership grounded in honesty, clarity, and the courage to lead with integrity—even when it is uncomfortable or comes at a price.
Our life experiences are what can create a platform for strong leadership - everything from working with some not-so-great bosses to how parents, losses, and major setbacks can unexpectedly shape our leadership style.
Authentic leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to live your questions out loud.
Another good read:
Why Trust in Leaders Is Faltering and How to Gain It Back.
If you're powering through your day like a caffeine-fueled robot with no off switch—stop. Your brain and body are not machines. We are more like rechargeable batteries, but we need to recharge. On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts discuss giving IT (all of IT) a rest.
SHOW NOTES
A break is not a luxury—it's a necessity. A German study found that we respond to physical overload with back, neck and shoulder pain. Our bodies are talking to us, but are we listening? And our brains do something similar - short-circuiting into anger, passivity, or full shutdown mode (hi, doom scrolling in the bathroom). Breaks help avoid those responses - and in fact are alarms from our bodies, brains and souls that we need to give it a minute (and maybe lots more) While there is nothing wrong with guilty social media scrolls or fake “I’m just checking email” moments, we need actual pauses—time for your body and mind to reset.
We may think that breaks are the enemy of productivity—but research says breaks are golden ticket to performance and productivity. Breaks replenish glucose, reduce stress hormones, and activate the brain’s “default mode network,” a magical zone responsible for creativity, introspection, and those “aha” moments (yes, even Pixar movies have emerged from a well-timed lunch break).
And it’s not just your brain that benefits. Animal shelter workers who took breaks lasted longer in their careers, and team breaks build trust and improve collaboration. Even short “microbreaks” matter—especially when they come after tough meetings or demanding tasks.
The barriers? Hustle culture, guilt, tech, and the glorification of burnout. But changing the narrative around unproductive time is crucial. Walk. Get out in nature - heck, check out those orca videos. Stretch. Nap. Stare at trees. Laugh at a meme. Walk your dog. Daydream. Call your mom. Whatever recharges you.
Because the ultimate flex isn’t grinding 24/7—it’s knowing when to step away.
Good Reads:
If you're powering through your day like a caffeine-fueled robot with no off switch—stop. Your brain and body are not machines. We are more like rechargeable batteries, but we need to recharge. On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts discuss giving IT (all of IT) a rest.
SHOW NOTES
A break is not a luxury—it's a necessity. A German study found that we respond to physical overload with back, neck and shoulder pain. Our bodies are talking to us, but are we listening? And our brains do something similar - short-circuiting into anger, passivity, or full shutdown mode (hi, doom scrolling in the bathroom). Breaks help avoid those responses - and in fact are alarms from our bodies, brains and souls that we need to give it a minute (and maybe lots more) While there is nothing wrong with guilty social media scrolls or fake “I’m just checking email” moments, we need actual pauses—time for your body and mind to reset.
We may think that breaks are the enemy of productivity—but research says breaks are golden ticket to performance and productivity. Breaks replenish glucose, reduce stress hormones, and activate the brain’s “default mode network,” a magical zone responsible for creativity, introspection, and those “aha” moments (yes, even Pixar movies have emerged from a well-timed lunch break).
And it’s not just your brain that benefits. Animal shelter workers who took breaks lasted longer in their careers, and team breaks build trust and improve collaboration. Even short “microbreaks” matter—especially when they come after tough meetings or demanding tasks.
The barriers? Hustle culture, guilt, tech, and the glorification of burnout. But changing the narrative around unproductive time is crucial. Walk. Get out in nature - heck, check out those orca videos. Stretch. Nap. Stare at trees. Laugh at a meme. Walk your dog. Daydream. Call your mom. Whatever recharges you.
Because the ultimate flex isn’t grinding 24/7—it’s knowing when to step away.
Good Reads:
Buckle up buttercups, we're diving into the panacea or peril of the four-day workweek. As always, we get to use our critical minds and decide for ourselves.
SHOW NOTES
The five-day workweek is one of the the results of worker safer reforms in the 1930s. As a society, we concluded and adopted laws that provided greater compensation for workers when they worked in excess of 40 hours in a week. This was consistent with what has been a 100 year trend of working less - at least until the 1970s—when we started working more. This working more may explain the growing number of companies and countries (aka Iceland) that have adopted the four day work week,
Let’s start with Iceland—the poster child for all kinds of worker and gender rights. After a wildly successful pilot starting in 2015, 90% of its workforce now enjoys a 36-hour week, full pay, and more time for fjords, knitting, or just plain breathing. The best part? Productivity didn’t drop. In some sectors, it rose, as did mental health and happiness. It sounds like employee satisfaction and improved mental health for the win!!
Here in the U.S., four-day weeks are gaining ground. In 2024, 22% of workers said their employers offer one (up from 14% in 2022). But not all 4-day weeks are created equal. Some compress 40 hours into four 10-hour marathons, while others reduce hours and pay and, the best for employees, reduced hours without a reduction in pay.
Still, it’s not all sunshine and extra Sundays. Critics warn of scheduling chaos, uneven workloads, and—gasp—selection bias in studies. And let’s be honest, if the culture still glorifies overwork, slapping on a shorter week won’t fix burnout.
So what now? Tune in for the full scoop—history, data, debates, and what it takes to truly work less and live more.
GOOD READS
Challenging The Hype: Why A 4-Day Work Week Won’t Solve Burnout
Buckle up buttercups, we're diving into the panacea or peril of the four-day workweek. As always, we get to use our critical minds and decide for ourselves.
SHOW NOTES
The five-day workweek is one of the the results of worker safer reforms in the 1930s. As a society, we concluded and adopted laws that provided greater compensation for workers when they worked in excess of 40 hours in a week. This was consistent with what has been a 100 year trend of working less - at least until the 1970s—when we started working more. This working more may explain the growing number of companies and countries (aka Iceland) that have adopted the four day work week,
Let’s start with Iceland—the poster child for all kinds of worker and gender rights. After a wildly successful pilot starting in 2015, 90% of its workforce now enjoys a 36-hour week, full pay, and more time for fjords, knitting, or just plain breathing. The best part? Productivity didn’t drop. In some sectors, it rose, as did mental health and happiness. It sounds like employee satisfaction and improved mental health for the win!!
Here in the U.S., four-day weeks are gaining ground. In 2024, 22% of workers said their employers offer one (up from 14% in 2022). But not all 4-day weeks are created equal. Some compress 40 hours into four 10-hour marathons, while others reduce hours and pay and, the best for employees, reduced hours without a reduction in pay.
Still, it’s not all sunshine and extra Sundays. Critics warn of scheduling chaos, uneven workloads, and—gasp—selection bias in studies. And let’s be honest, if the culture still glorifies overwork, slapping on a shorter week won’t fix burnout.
So what now? Tune in for the full scoop—history, data, debates, and what it takes to truly work less and live more.
GOOD READS
Challenging The Hype: Why A 4-Day Work Week Won’t Solve Burnout
We all know that our jobs can impact our health: from sleepless nights to skipped meals, your job can take it’s toll. But research shows us that the cumulative impacts of these offenses might be harming you more than you think.
SHOW NOTES
Emily, a mom on the internet, said the quiet part out loud: admitting they daydream about being hospitalized—not because they want to be sick, but because it’s the only way they’d be "allowed" to rest without guilt. Another mom chimed in, saying her fondest memory of the year her third child was born was, bizarrely, the emergency appendectomy that forced her to let her husband give the baby formula, pawn off the toddlers, and finally sleep. It’s not the hospital gown that’s appealing—it’s the mandatory break, the absence of decision-making, and the fact that, for once, no one needs anything from you.
This kind of exhaustion isn’t just a mom problem—it’s a work problem, too. Work and health are in constant tug-of-war. When we sacrifice sleep to meet deadlines, skip meals to catch up, or forgo vacation because "the team needs us," the cost isn’t just burnout; it’s actual, measurable harm to our well-being. Studies have shown that people who don’t take vacations die younger, those in high-stress, low-control jobs face skyrocketing rates of depression, and shift workers can experience full-blown health crises just from disrupted sleep.
But work isn't inherently bad. Done well, it gives us purpose, community, pride, and even joy. The problem is when it tips into overwork, disconnection, and stress without relief. Research as far back as the 1930s and current research all point to the same thing: whether it’s unemployment or toxic employment, when we lose the ability to balance work with health, meaning, and community, we suffer.
And the kind of work we do can also impact our health: miners; airline pilots, law enforcement - these are all jobs that even in the best of circumstances present challenges to taking care of our physical health.
The message here is be aware of how your work impacts your health and consider measures to mitigate those aspects negatively impacting health and emphasize those aspects that improve your health.
We all know that our jobs can impact our health: from sleepless nights to skipped meals, your job can take it’s toll. But research shows us that the cumulative impacts of these offenses might be harming you more than you think.
SHOW NOTES
Emily, a mom on the internet, said the quiet part out loud: admitting they daydream about being hospitalized—not because they want to be sick, but because it’s the only way they’d be "allowed" to rest without guilt. Another mom chimed in, saying her fondest memory of the year her third child was born was, bizarrely, the emergency appendectomy that forced her to let her husband give the baby formula, pawn off the toddlers, and finally sleep. It’s not the hospital gown that’s appealing—it’s the mandatory break, the absence of decision-making, and the fact that, for once, no one needs anything from you.
This kind of exhaustion isn’t just a mom problem—it’s a work problem, too. Work and health are in constant tug-of-war. When we sacrifice sleep to meet deadlines, skip meals to catch up, or forgo vacation because "the team needs us," the cost isn’t just burnout; it’s actual, measurable harm to our well-being. Studies have shown that people who don’t take vacations die younger, those in high-stress, low-control jobs face skyrocketing rates of depression, and shift workers can experience full-blown health crises just from disrupted sleep.
But work isn't inherently bad. Done well, it gives us purpose, community, pride, and even joy. The problem is when it tips into overwork, disconnection, and stress without relief. Research as far back as the 1930s and current research all point to the same thing: whether it’s unemployment or toxic employment, when we lose the ability to balance work with health, meaning, and community, we suffer.
And the kind of work we do can also impact our health: miners; airline pilots, law enforcement - these are all jobs that even in the best of circumstances present challenges to taking care of our physical health.
The message here is be aware of how your work impacts your health and consider measures to mitigate those aspects negatively impacting health and emphasize those aspects that improve your health.
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts have “the talk”—no, not that one. We’re talking money—earning it, saving it, investing it, and, most importantly, not stressing ourselves into a financial spiral. While our dynamic duo are certainly not investment experts, they are two regular chicks talking about what regular chicks think about and do with their hard earned dollars.
First things first: stop punishing yourself for things beyond your control (looking at you, scale). Instead, focus on what is in your control—like making smart money moves, setting yourself up for financial success, and dodging bad investment advice from that one cousin who just put every penny they have in crypto.
Women have historically been encouraged to save, but not necessarily invest. That’s changing. More women than ever are putting their money to work—seven in ten now own stock, a massive jump from last year. Gen Z women are leading the charge, with 71% already investing in the stock market, outpacing older generations. Even so, financial stress is real. More than half of working women feel behind on retirement savings, and nearly half say money negatively impacts their mental health.
Despite the challenges—hello, gender pay gap, unpaid labor, and single-parent superhero status—women are financial powerhouses. We are most proud of providing for our families, paying off debt, and saving for the future.
Unfortunately, the financial industry still has work to do to provide the kinds of services we women want. Nearly two-thirds of us lady breadwinners say it’s patronizing, catered to men, and assumes their spouse is the primary earner. But that hasn’t stopped us from taking charge of their money. The reality? By 2030, women in the U.S. will control much of the $30 trillion in assets currently held by baby boomers. That’s a serious power shift.
What is the biggest money regret we have? Not investing sooner. But here’s the good news: it’s never too late. Step one is checking in on your financial health—do you know your 401k balance? Can you cover an emergency expense? Then, put your money to work.
Women are stepping up, showing up, and investing like bosses. So let’s keep the momentum going—our future (and our wallets) depend on it.
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts have “the talk”—no, not that one. We’re talking money—earning it, saving it, investing it, and, most importantly, not stressing ourselves into a financial spiral. While our dynamic duo are certainly not investment experts, they are two regular chicks talking about what regular chicks think about and do with their hard earned dollars.
First things first: stop punishing yourself for things beyond your control (looking at you, scale). Instead, focus on what is in your control—like making smart money moves, setting yourself up for financial success, and dodging bad investment advice from that one cousin who just put every penny they have in crypto.
Women have historically been encouraged to save, but not necessarily invest. That’s changing. More women than ever are putting their money to work—seven in ten now own stock, a massive jump from last year. Gen Z women are leading the charge, with 71% already investing in the stock market, outpacing older generations. Even so, financial stress is real. More than half of working women feel behind on retirement savings, and nearly half say money negatively impacts their mental health.
Despite the challenges—hello, gender pay gap, unpaid labor, and single-parent superhero status—women are financial powerhouses. We are most proud of providing for our families, paying off debt, and saving for the future.
Unfortunately, the financial industry still has work to do to provide the kinds of services we women want. Nearly two-thirds of us lady breadwinners say it’s patronizing, catered to men, and assumes their spouse is the primary earner. But that hasn’t stopped us from taking charge of their money. The reality? By 2030, women in the U.S. will control much of the $30 trillion in assets currently held by baby boomers. That’s a serious power shift.
What is the biggest money regret we have? Not investing sooner. But here’s the good news: it’s never too late. Step one is checking in on your financial health—do you know your 401k balance? Can you cover an emergency expense? Then, put your money to work.
Women are stepping up, showing up, and investing like bosses. So let’s keep the momentum going—our future (and our wallets) depend on it.
Status and power are major players in our work life and understanding how each works and how each can create more ease, meaning and joy in our work lives is a game changer.
SHOW NOTES
Status is everywhere, whether we acknowledge it or not. It’s reflected in whether we are acknowledged in a meeting, how fast our emails get answered, or whether we are invited - really anywhere. Unlike power, which controls resources (think money, hiring decisions, or influence), status is all about perception—how others value us. And the kicker? We can’t just take status; it’s earned (and re-earned) through the judgments of those around us. Power is something given to you (and probably because of our status), unless of course you stage a coup, which is tricky in the workplace. :-)
But here’s where it gets tricky: women face the likability bind—the frustrating double standard that says we can be warm or assertive, but not both. Allison Fragale discusses her book, Likable Badass on Work Life with Adam Grant. She shares how women often self-sabotage by downplaying success, rejecting compliments, or apologizing unnecessarily. The key to breaking free? We build status by owning our story, being bold about our ambitions and letting others see what’s possible through our confidence.
So, how do we build status? Two drivers lead the way: competence and care.
Competence is about doing good work, and also conducting ourselves in a way that inspires confidence in our competence. We do this by showing up, adding value, and not being afraid to contribute our talents. Have we made a commitment to be aware of where we can add value in the workplace? Do our coworkers and bosses trust us to do what we say we will do and do it well?
Care is about earning respect and influence through authenticity and generosity. We are women - of course we know what “care” is - well, mostly anyway (and kudos to those of us who live a little more free in this area). Care is sharing credit, lifting others up, being generous, seeing other people, doing something extra (selectively), letting others know we know the importance of our work and our commitment to that work.
As we show up and do our work with competence and care, we build status. And status is what elevates us in the minds of others and leads to more opportunity and reward. As we manage our status, we need to think of these two elements - competence and care and how we create that in the workplace.
Managing our status is about presenting our authentic self at work - it is not about being something you are not. Listen in on how to manage your status . . .
Likable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve by Allison Fagale
Status and power are major players in our work life and understanding how each works and how each can create more ease, meaning and joy in our work lives is a game changer.
SHOW NOTES
Status is everywhere, whether we acknowledge it or not. It’s reflected in whether we are acknowledged in a meeting, how fast our emails get answered, or whether we are invited - really anywhere. Unlike power, which controls resources (think money, hiring decisions, or influence), status is all about perception—how others value us. And the kicker? We can’t just take status; it’s earned (and re-earned) through the judgments of those around us. Power is something given to you (and probably because of our status), unless of course you stage a coup, which is tricky in the workplace. :-)
But here’s where it gets tricky: women face the likability bind—the frustrating double standard that says we can be warm or assertive, but not both. Allison Fragale discusses her book, Likable Badass on Work Life with Adam Grant. She shares how women often self-sabotage by downplaying success, rejecting compliments, or apologizing unnecessarily. The key to breaking free? We build status by owning our story, being bold about our ambitions and letting others see what’s possible through our confidence.
So, how do we build status? Two drivers lead the way: competence and care.
Competence is about doing good work, and also conducting ourselves in a way that inspires confidence in our competence. We do this by showing up, adding value, and not being afraid to contribute our talents. Have we made a commitment to be aware of where we can add value in the workplace? Do our coworkers and bosses trust us to do what we say we will do and do it well?
Care is about earning respect and influence through authenticity and generosity. We are women - of course we know what “care” is - well, mostly anyway (and kudos to those of us who live a little more free in this area). Care is sharing credit, lifting others up, being generous, seeing other people, doing something extra (selectively), letting others know we know the importance of our work and our commitment to that work.
As we show up and do our work with competence and care, we build status. And status is what elevates us in the minds of others and leads to more opportunity and reward. As we manage our status, we need to think of these two elements - competence and care and how we create that in the workplace.
Managing our status is about presenting our authentic self at work - it is not about being something you are not. Listen in on how to manage your status . . .
Likable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve by Allison Fagale
Happy 10th anniversary to the McKinsey & Leanin “Women in the Workplace” report! This is the largest study on the state of women in corporate America, and a bit of a tough pill to swallow as the authors analyze data from the past decade to understand progress, decline, and stagnation in women’s representation and experiences.
The report's findings show that while companies have taken action that led to some progress—more women in leadership, better policies for employees, and increased efforts to foster inclusion—change is hard and messy. Gains are fragile and less extensive than they appear, and company commitment to diversity is declining. Despite an increase in women’s representation and expanded company efforts, the workplace has not gotten better for women. Women continue to worry it will be harder for them to advance, and their day-to-day interactions look largely like they did in 2015.
The report also found that women continue to face barriers at the beginning of the pipeline. For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 81 women were promoted. This "broken rung" makes it nearly impossible for companies to support sustained progress at more senior levels. In addition, women's progress in senior leadership is fragile and diversity efforts are decreasing, which is concerning.
The McKinsey report concludes that the elements needed to create equity in the workplace are declining. It's clear that companies need to do more to support women's advancement and create a more equitable workplace! This includes continuing to work on changing employee behavior, engaging men to be part of the change, and continuing to deliver the inclusion message…keep it up, sisters!
Happy 10th anniversary to the McKinsey & Leanin “Women in the Workplace” report! This is the largest study on the state of women in corporate America, and a bit of a tough pill to swallow as the authors analyze data from the past decade to understand progress, decline, and stagnation in women’s representation and experiences.
The report's findings show that while companies have taken action that led to some progress—more women in leadership, better policies for employees, and increased efforts to foster inclusion—change is hard and messy. Gains are fragile and less extensive than they appear, and company commitment to diversity is declining. Despite an increase in women’s representation and expanded company efforts, the workplace has not gotten better for women. Women continue to worry it will be harder for them to advance, and their day-to-day interactions look largely like they did in 2015.
The report also found that women continue to face barriers at the beginning of the pipeline. For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 81 women were promoted. This "broken rung" makes it nearly impossible for companies to support sustained progress at more senior levels. In addition, women's progress in senior leadership is fragile and diversity efforts are decreasing, which is concerning.
The McKinsey report concludes that the elements needed to create equity in the workplace are declining. It's clear that companies need to do more to support women's advancement and create a more equitable workplace! This includes continuing to work on changing employee behavior, engaging men to be part of the change, and continuing to deliver the inclusion message…keep it up, sisters!
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our badass duo gets up close and personal with an exercise created by social scientist, author and speaker Alison Fragale. Fragale has written a great book, How to be a Likeable Badass. Fragale suggests one of the keys to being a likeable badass is asking for what you want—boldly, frequently, and strategically -- and she has developed an exercise on asking - the No Challenge.
The Challenge: Get 10 NosThe idea? Ask for things you want until you get 10 rejections. Why? Because asking builds resilience and rejection isn’t as painful as we think.
What should you ask for? Well, anything you want - from asking your partner to not only make dinner, but also clean up to a raise or more flexibility, maybe a sabbatical, or how about just an upgrade to your hotel room?
This exercise illustrates that when we ask, we get more of that we want, build confidence around asking, learn more about the nuances of rejection (may the no is only for now but a yes may come later, maybe there is no to the ask, but yes to something else or maybe the question creates an opportunity for connection and better understanding). And the more we ask, the less likely we are to leave opportunities on the table.
Not to say it is not hard to ask - it sure is. We feel vulnerable. We assume that people dislike us for asking, which is actually an incorrect assumption. Asking someone for a favor makes them like you more, not less. People enjoy being helpful, and they’re happier than we assume when they get the chance to say “yes.” We overestimate how much we will inconvenience people and we fear loss more than we crave gain.
Rejection stings—literally. Studies show social rejection lights up the same part of the brain as physical pain (some researchers even tried treating it with Tylenol—yes, really - and that worked at lessening emotional pain). Likeable badasses don’t wait for success to be handed to them—they ask for it. And if they hear “no” along the way? They shake it off, pop a Tylenol, and keep going.
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our badass duo gets up close and personal with an exercise created by social scientist, author and speaker Alison Fragale. Fragale has written a great book, How to be a Likeable Badass. Fragale suggests one of the keys to being a likeable badass is asking for what you want—boldly, frequently, and strategically -- and she has developed an exercise on asking - the No Challenge.
The Challenge: Get 10 NosThe idea? Ask for things you want until you get 10 rejections. Why? Because asking builds resilience and rejection isn’t as painful as we think.
What should you ask for? Well, anything you want - from asking your partner to not only make dinner, but also clean up to a raise or more flexibility, maybe a sabbatical, or how about just an upgrade to your hotel room?
This exercise illustrates that when we ask, we get more of that we want, build confidence around asking, learn more about the nuances of rejection (may the no is only for now but a yes may come later, maybe there is no to the ask, but yes to something else or maybe the question creates an opportunity for connection and better understanding). And the more we ask, the less likely we are to leave opportunities on the table.
Not to say it is not hard to ask - it sure is. We feel vulnerable. We assume that people dislike us for asking, which is actually an incorrect assumption. Asking someone for a favor makes them like you more, not less. People enjoy being helpful, and they’re happier than we assume when they get the chance to say “yes.” We overestimate how much we will inconvenience people and we fear loss more than we crave gain.
Rejection stings—literally. Studies show social rejection lights up the same part of the brain as physical pain (some researchers even tried treating it with Tylenol—yes, really - and that worked at lessening emotional pain). Likeable badasses don’t wait for success to be handed to them—they ask for it. And if they hear “no” along the way? They shake it off, pop a Tylenol, and keep going.
Hope is often dismissed as fluffy sentiment, but is actually a powerhouse for transformation—especially in the workplace. Unlike optimism, which passively assumes everything will turn out fine, hope is active, intentional, and rooted in the belief that our actions can shape the future. It’s the antidote to despair, the spark that turns possibility into reality.
As Brene Brown reminds us, hope isn’t a fleeting emotion; it’s a cognitive process. It counters the suffocating weight of hopelessness, which arises from negative thought patterns and self-blame. Instead, hope is a skill—one that can be learned and harnessed to drive individual and organizational success. Psychologist C. Rick Snyder’s research defines hope as the ability to create pathways to goals and summon the motivation to pursue them. This dynamic combo of "willpower" and "waypower" sets hopeful people apart, making them more effective problem-solvers and leaders.
Rebecca Solnit takes it a step further: hope thrives in uncertainty. It acknowledges the unknown but embraces the idea that our actions matter—even if the outcome remains unknown. Optimists may wait passively for better days, but hopeful individuals roll up their sleeves and get to work. History is full of hopeful changemakers whose influence often became clearest after their time.
In the workplace, hope is a game-changer. Studies show hopeful employees outperform their peers, producing more creative solutions and tackling challenges with grit. Hope ignites virtuous cycles: workers who feel supported develop stronger waypower, creating a ripple effect of collaboration and resilience. Organizations with shared visions of hopeful futures—whether it’s making breakthroughs, changing lives, or improving margins—fuel collective motivation and perseverance.
Leaders play a vital role in cultivating hope. Here’s how they can turn hope into strategy:
Hope isn’t naïve or impractical; it’s a deliberate belief in action. It builds connections, creativity, and growth. By anchoring strategies in hope, leaders can steer their organizations through uncertainty toward brighter horizons. Hope doesn’t just dream of a better future—it equips us to build one.
GOOD READS
The Strategic Power of Hope; ‘Hope is an embrace of the unknown’: Rebecca Solnit on living in dark times | Society books | The Guardian;
Hope is often dismissed as fluffy sentiment, but is actually a powerhouse for transformation—especially in the workplace. Unlike optimism, which passively assumes everything will turn out fine, hope is active, intentional, and rooted in the belief that our actions can shape the future. It’s the antidote to despair, the spark that turns possibility into reality.
As Brene Brown reminds us, hope isn’t a fleeting emotion; it’s a cognitive process. It counters the suffocating weight of hopelessness, which arises from negative thought patterns and self-blame. Instead, hope is a skill—one that can be learned and harnessed to drive individual and organizational success. Psychologist C. Rick Snyder’s research defines hope as the ability to create pathways to goals and summon the motivation to pursue them. This dynamic combo of "willpower" and "waypower" sets hopeful people apart, making them more effective problem-solvers and leaders.
Rebecca Solnit takes it a step further: hope thrives in uncertainty. It acknowledges the unknown but embraces the idea that our actions matter—even if the outcome remains unknown. Optimists may wait passively for better days, but hopeful individuals roll up their sleeves and get to work. History is full of hopeful changemakers whose influence often became clearest after their time.
In the workplace, hope is a game-changer. Studies show hopeful employees outperform their peers, producing more creative solutions and tackling challenges with grit. Hope ignites virtuous cycles: workers who feel supported develop stronger waypower, creating a ripple effect of collaboration and resilience. Organizations with shared visions of hopeful futures—whether it’s making breakthroughs, changing lives, or improving margins—fuel collective motivation and perseverance.
Leaders play a vital role in cultivating hope. Here’s how they can turn hope into strategy:
Hope isn’t naïve or impractical; it’s a deliberate belief in action. It builds connections, creativity, and growth. By anchoring strategies in hope, leaders can steer their organizations through uncertainty toward brighter horizons. Hope doesn’t just dream of a better future—it equips us to build one.
GOOD READS
The Strategic Power of Hope; ‘Hope is an embrace of the unknown’: Rebecca Solnit on living in dark times | Society books | The Guardian;
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts consider the silent exclusively female workplace challenge - menopause. Menopause affects over 1 million women in the U.S. annually. Nearly 20% of all women are grappling with its symptoms right now, often in silence. Hot flashes, brain fog, and fatigue aren’t just physical nuisances—they’re cultural battlegrounds. Society often wraps a woman's worth in fertility, leaving those navigating menopause potentially battling stigma, shame, and a perceived loss of identity. Unlike aging men hailed as "silver foxes," menopausal women rarely get the same applause. So let’s change that narrative.
And the workplace is our first stop because, well, it's not such a great place for people experiencing menopause. A Mayo Clinic study revealed menopause costs American women an incredible $1.8 billion annually in lost work time. And we have lots to do with that time, folks! Fifteen percent of participants reported cutting back hours or missing work due to symptoms, with the worst-affected women 16 times more likely to face “adverse work outcomes.” Disturbingly, over 1% of women quit or were laid off due to debilitating symptoms. Black and Hispanic women often face even harsher impacts, reporting higher rates of symptoms and workplace struggles.
In the UK, a similar story unfolds. Nearly half of menopausal women report work-related challenges like low energy, poor concentration, and feelings of isolation. Many fear disclosing their struggles to employers; 47% avoid sharing the real reason for taking sick days. This culture of silence drives one in ten to leave their jobs entirely.
So, why does menopause get such a raw deal? Unlike conditions like cardiac disease, menopause doesn’t slot neatly into existing workplace health frameworks. The unpredictable, chronic nature of its symptoms demands nuanced solutions—something most workplaces lack.
But change is on the horizon. Forward-thinking companies and organizations are beginning to recognize menopause as a workplace issue. From the British Menopause Society to the European Menopause and Andropause Society, folks are advocating for tangible support around menopause: flexible schedules, breathable uniforms, and health plans that cover menopause treatments.
Studies show interventions like yoga, cognitive behavioral therapy, and work-life coaching can make a world of difference. With the right support, menopausal women can thrive—not just survive—in their careers. Let’s ditch the stigma, embrace the conversation, and build workplaces where every stage of womanhood is valued. Menopause isn’t the end; it’s a new chapter, and it’s time we wrote it right or maybe write it right?! You get the point listeners.
Study Shows the Staggering Cost of Menopause for Women in the Work Force
Impact of Menopause Symptoms on Women in the Workplace;
Without support, many menopausal workers are quitting their jobs;
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts consider the silent exclusively female workplace challenge - menopause. Menopause affects over 1 million women in the U.S. annually. Nearly 20% of all women are grappling with its symptoms right now, often in silence. Hot flashes, brain fog, and fatigue aren’t just physical nuisances—they’re cultural battlegrounds. Society often wraps a woman's worth in fertility, leaving those navigating menopause potentially battling stigma, shame, and a perceived loss of identity. Unlike aging men hailed as "silver foxes," menopausal women rarely get the same applause. So let’s change that narrative.
And the workplace is our first stop because, well, it's not such a great place for people experiencing menopause. A Mayo Clinic study revealed menopause costs American women an incredible $1.8 billion annually in lost work time. And we have lots to do with that time, folks! Fifteen percent of participants reported cutting back hours or missing work due to symptoms, with the worst-affected women 16 times more likely to face “adverse work outcomes.” Disturbingly, over 1% of women quit or were laid off due to debilitating symptoms. Black and Hispanic women often face even harsher impacts, reporting higher rates of symptoms and workplace struggles.
In the UK, a similar story unfolds. Nearly half of menopausal women report work-related challenges like low energy, poor concentration, and feelings of isolation. Many fear disclosing their struggles to employers; 47% avoid sharing the real reason for taking sick days. This culture of silence drives one in ten to leave their jobs entirely.
So, why does menopause get such a raw deal? Unlike conditions like cardiac disease, menopause doesn’t slot neatly into existing workplace health frameworks. The unpredictable, chronic nature of its symptoms demands nuanced solutions—something most workplaces lack.
But change is on the horizon. Forward-thinking companies and organizations are beginning to recognize menopause as a workplace issue. From the British Menopause Society to the European Menopause and Andropause Society, folks are advocating for tangible support around menopause: flexible schedules, breathable uniforms, and health plans that cover menopause treatments.
Studies show interventions like yoga, cognitive behavioral therapy, and work-life coaching can make a world of difference. With the right support, menopausal women can thrive—not just survive—in their careers. Let’s ditch the stigma, embrace the conversation, and build workplaces where every stage of womanhood is valued. Menopause isn’t the end; it’s a new chapter, and it’s time we wrote it right or maybe write it right?! You get the point listeners.
Study Shows the Staggering Cost of Menopause for Women in the Work Force
Impact of Menopause Symptoms on Women in the Workplace;
Without support, many menopausal workers are quitting their jobs;
We acknowledge many of us enter this new year with some uncertainty - and maybe even some fear. Some of us are just depleted. As we go into 2025, we need to care for ourselves and each other, preserve our sanity and focus our energy.
January is a great time to reflect on what 2025 will look like for each of us - and not just because it is the beginning of the year, but also because we do the least amount of productive work in January as compared to other months of the year, which means we have some time to consider what we can do in 2025 to create more ease, meaning and joy.
Ideas for 2025:
-Try unexpected appreciation in the workplace. Surprising coworkers with lunch or a compliment or if you are the manager, sending folks home an hour early can lift spirits.
-Remember the why and connect with how we serve our customers and clients, which is best done through examples.
-Devote some time in the new year to experimentation - try something new with your personal routine or consider what Shopify did - cancelling all meetings for two weeks to reconsider what meetings were productive and necessary
Wishing you a 2025 filled with ease, meaning and joy.
We acknowledge many of us enter this new year with some uncertainty - and maybe even some fear. Some of us are just depleted. As we go into 2025, we need to care for ourselves and each other, preserve our sanity and focus our energy.
January is a great time to reflect on what 2025 will look like for each of us - and not just because it is the beginning of the year, but also because we do the least amount of productive work in January as compared to other months of the year, which means we have some time to consider what we can do in 2025 to create more ease, meaning and joy.
Ideas for 2025:
-Try unexpected appreciation in the workplace. Surprising coworkers with lunch or a compliment or if you are the manager, sending folks home an hour early can lift spirits.
-Remember the why and connect with how we serve our customers and clients, which is best done through examples.
-Devote some time in the new year to experimentation - try something new with your personal routine or consider what Shopify did - cancelling all meetings for two weeks to reconsider what meetings were productive and necessary
Wishing you a 2025 filled with ease, meaning and joy.
Contagious Positive Energy: The Rocket Fuel of Great Leaders
Let’s talk about relational energy and why it’s a game-changer for organizations! With new books bursting onto the scene every year, it's like rummaging through a treasure trove of ideas. But what if we told you that the magic ingredient isn't charisma, charm, or sheer brilliance? Nope! It's all about that vibrant, uplifting energy that flows between people!
SHOW NOTES
Enter Kim Cameron from the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. While diving into the dynamics of various organizations, he made an electrifying discovery: some groups were absolutely buzzing with productivity, and it wasn’t just luck. What was their secret? It’s what we call relational energy — that wonderful sense of positivity that comes alive during interactions. Some people ignite our spirits, while others leave us feeling a little flat. You know the ones who light up the room just by walking in? Yup, that's relational energy in action!
So, why is this so important? Leaders who radiate positive energy are like magnets, attracting motivation and enthusiasm from their teams. When you surround yourself with these energizers, the performance of the entire organization skyrockets. Think about it: when a leader embodies positivity, the whole crew vibes off that energy, leading to a healthier, happier workplace.
Now, what makes someone a true positive energizer? It boils down to a handful of essential qualities. These folks genuinely care about others, uplifting everyone around them. They show support during tough times, inspire their teams to focus on the bright side, and celebrate successes. They embrace meaningful contributions and treat everyone with respect and kindness. Most importantly, they nurture a loving relationship with themselves, ensuring they radiate that positivity outward.
Why does this all matter? Research reveals that positive energizers significantly boost engagement, lower turnover, and foster a culture of well-being. When organizations are led by these energetic dynamos, they often see a flourishing bottom line too!
It turns out the positive relational energy doesn’t just benefit the workplace — it’s like a health potion for our brains and bodies! Studies indicate that when we soak in this vibrant energy, we reduce stress, boost our immune systems, and foster healthier connections all around us.
GOOD READS
The Best Leaders Have a Contagious Positive Energy
Relational energy - what it is and why it matters to organisations
Contagious Positive Energy: The Rocket Fuel of Great Leaders
Let’s talk about relational energy and why it’s a game-changer for organizations! With new books bursting onto the scene every year, it's like rummaging through a treasure trove of ideas. But what if we told you that the magic ingredient isn't charisma, charm, or sheer brilliance? Nope! It's all about that vibrant, uplifting energy that flows between people!
SHOW NOTES
Enter Kim Cameron from the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business. While diving into the dynamics of various organizations, he made an electrifying discovery: some groups were absolutely buzzing with productivity, and it wasn’t just luck. What was their secret? It’s what we call relational energy — that wonderful sense of positivity that comes alive during interactions. Some people ignite our spirits, while others leave us feeling a little flat. You know the ones who light up the room just by walking in? Yup, that's relational energy in action!
So, why is this so important? Leaders who radiate positive energy are like magnets, attracting motivation and enthusiasm from their teams. When you surround yourself with these energizers, the performance of the entire organization skyrockets. Think about it: when a leader embodies positivity, the whole crew vibes off that energy, leading to a healthier, happier workplace.
Now, what makes someone a true positive energizer? It boils down to a handful of essential qualities. These folks genuinely care about others, uplifting everyone around them. They show support during tough times, inspire their teams to focus on the bright side, and celebrate successes. They embrace meaningful contributions and treat everyone with respect and kindness. Most importantly, they nurture a loving relationship with themselves, ensuring they radiate that positivity outward.
Why does this all matter? Research reveals that positive energizers significantly boost engagement, lower turnover, and foster a culture of well-being. When organizations are led by these energetic dynamos, they often see a flourishing bottom line too!
It turns out the positive relational energy doesn’t just benefit the workplace — it’s like a health potion for our brains and bodies! Studies indicate that when we soak in this vibrant energy, we reduce stress, boost our immune systems, and foster healthier connections all around us.
GOOD READS
The Best Leaders Have a Contagious Positive Energy
Relational energy - what it is and why it matters to organisations
Women are responsible for over 85% of consumer spending. Not only do we buy for ourselves, but we purchase for everyone else in the house! (Don’t get us started on the burden that represents). Why not consider using your economic power to support businesses that are owned by WOMEN!
SHOW NOTES
Globally, women control about $20 trillion in annual consumer spending, and that figure could climb as high as $28 trillion in the next five years. These numbers amount to women controlling and/or influencing 85% of all consumer spending. Wow - that’s a lot of votes with our economic dollars. We buy for ourselves, our families, including children and spouses and so many of the people we care for. And yes, women find the shopping experience unsatisfactory and in many cases shopping experiences are foolishly geared to men. Ladies, let’s leverage our economic voting power for women owned businesses.
The number of new women owned businesses is outpacing the number of businesses owned by men. In 2021, women owned about 25% of all businesses in the US and by 2023, that number had reached 39%. While women owned 39% of business in 2023, we employed about 9% of the employees and about 5% of all revenues. Just under 40,000 women owned businesses employ 50 or more people. This is all to say there are lots of small women owned businesses out there.
Women owned businesses face particular challenges - such as lack of access to capital - but the impacts of women owned businesses are significant, and that incongruity does not make sense. So let’s use our dollars to support the business making the most difference. Women tend to start businesses to make a difference rather than just to make money; and women owned businesses are more likely to support their communities.
Turn Black Friday into a political act and shop women owned.
More good reads:
The 2024 Impact of Women-Owned Businesses
Women-owned businesses | U.S. Small Business Administration
Women Ownership Statistics 2024 | Advocacy
New Report Finds Growth of Women Business Owners Outpaces the Market
Supporting Women-Owned Business Giving Back To Communities | Bankrate
Women are responsible for over 85% of consumer spending. Not only do we buy for ourselves, but we purchase for everyone else in the house! (Don’t get us started on the burden that represents). Why not consider using your economic power to support businesses that are owned by WOMEN!
SHOW NOTES
Globally, women control about $20 trillion in annual consumer spending, and that figure could climb as high as $28 trillion in the next five years. These numbers amount to women controlling and/or influencing 85% of all consumer spending. Wow - that’s a lot of votes with our economic dollars. We buy for ourselves, our families, including children and spouses and so many of the people we care for. And yes, women find the shopping experience unsatisfactory and in many cases shopping experiences are foolishly geared to men. Ladies, let’s leverage our economic voting power for women owned businesses.
The number of new women owned businesses is outpacing the number of businesses owned by men. In 2021, women owned about 25% of all businesses in the US and by 2023, that number had reached 39%. While women owned 39% of business in 2023, we employed about 9% of the employees and about 5% of all revenues. Just under 40,000 women owned businesses employ 50 or more people. This is all to say there are lots of small women owned businesses out there.
Women owned businesses face particular challenges - such as lack of access to capital - but the impacts of women owned businesses are significant, and that incongruity does not make sense. So let’s use our dollars to support the business making the most difference. Women tend to start businesses to make a difference rather than just to make money; and women owned businesses are more likely to support their communities.
Turn Black Friday into a political act and shop women owned.
More good reads:
The 2024 Impact of Women-Owned Businesses
Women-owned businesses | U.S. Small Business Administration
Women Ownership Statistics 2024 | Advocacy
New Report Finds Growth of Women Business Owners Outpaces the Market
Supporting Women-Owned Business Giving Back To Communities | Bankrate
In this episode, we embark on a catharsis regarding bosses who change their minds, can’t make a decision or jerk us around.
When bosses change their minds it impacts us as workers. These changes mean we often redo our work or work we have done becomes unnecessary. This impacts the meaningfulness of our work - and what was useful work is often not meaningful work when we just need to redo it. The impact of mind changing can also make us feel disregarded and not valued - and demoralizing.
Implicit - and maybe obvious - in changing a decision is there is change and change is hard and lots of change can really mean chaos.
What are some approaches to managing situations when it seems like direction from those above us is changing? Harvard Business Review suggests a “tee-up” with what changes in process, events and decisions have occurred that led to how your team got to a particular place - through whatever circuitous journey. Another idea is to ask questions about the change, which can help us understand how we got to the place and may provide useful feedback to your boss. Bosses do not have all of the information we have and communicating that can be helpful.
And it may be you just need a cocktail or a hot bath - or both - because change and revisiting work can be exhausting especially when it happens again and again.
In this episode, we embark on a catharsis regarding bosses who change their minds, can’t make a decision or jerk us around.
When bosses change their minds it impacts us as workers. These changes mean we often redo our work or work we have done becomes unnecessary. This impacts the meaningfulness of our work - and what was useful work is often not meaningful work when we just need to redo it. The impact of mind changing can also make us feel disregarded and not valued - and demoralizing.
Implicit - and maybe obvious - in changing a decision is there is change and change is hard and lots of change can really mean chaos.
What are some approaches to managing situations when it seems like direction from those above us is changing? Harvard Business Review suggests a “tee-up” with what changes in process, events and decisions have occurred that led to how your team got to a particular place - through whatever circuitous journey. Another idea is to ask questions about the change, which can help us understand how we got to the place and may provide useful feedback to your boss. Bosses do not have all of the information we have and communicating that can be helpful.
And it may be you just need a cocktail or a hot bath - or both - because change and revisiting work can be exhausting especially when it happens again and again.
Thinking about making a career change? Feeling stuck in your job? Curious how to change directions, after you’ve spent years (or decades!) building your career? You’re not alone. According to an Indeed survey, the average age for people making a drastic career change is 39. The leading cause? Happiness.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode, we discuss signs that indicate it might be time to consider a career pivot, such as persistent unhappiness, lack of motivation, health implications, increased comparisons to peers, and reticence towards career commitments. We also share Crina's story of feeling burnt out and uninspired in her job, prompting her to consider a change.
Of course there are ways to make a successful career pivot, especially when you focus on the "working identity" approach. Instead of following the conventional wisdom of knowing what you want to do next before taking action, we explore why doing comes before knowing in the process of career change. And of course there are pitfalls of relying on self-knowledge, advice from friends and family, and consultations with career professionals when considering a career pivot.
Tune in to learn more about how to navigate a career pivot successfully, what to expect after making a change, and how to build a new working identity that brings more happiness and fulfillment. Thank you for listening!
GOOD READS
A Mid-Life Career Shift Is Not a Crisis — Here’s Why You Should Consider One & How to Pull It Off
Thinking about making a career change? Feeling stuck in your job? Curious how to change directions, after you’ve spent years (or decades!) building your career? You’re not alone. According to an Indeed survey, the average age for people making a drastic career change is 39. The leading cause? Happiness.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode, we discuss signs that indicate it might be time to consider a career pivot, such as persistent unhappiness, lack of motivation, health implications, increased comparisons to peers, and reticence towards career commitments. We also share Crina's story of feeling burnt out and uninspired in her job, prompting her to consider a change.
Of course there are ways to make a successful career pivot, especially when you focus on the "working identity" approach. Instead of following the conventional wisdom of knowing what you want to do next before taking action, we explore why doing comes before knowing in the process of career change. And of course there are pitfalls of relying on self-knowledge, advice from friends and family, and consultations with career professionals when considering a career pivot.
Tune in to learn more about how to navigate a career pivot successfully, what to expect after making a change, and how to build a new working identity that brings more happiness and fulfillment. Thank you for listening!
GOOD READS
A Mid-Life Career Shift Is Not a Crisis — Here’s Why You Should Consider One & How to Pull It Off
How much work is too much work? Can you ever turn it off? We’re exploring the roots of workaholism, its impact on our lives, and—most importantly—what to do about it.
What is Workaholism? The term was coined by psychologist Wayne E. Oates back in 1971, likening chronic overwork to addiction. Just like any other addiction, workaholism can interfere with our health, happiness, and relationships. So, how do we know if we’re truly addicted to work or just really engaged? The answer lies in the motivation behind the grind.
Could this be you?
Sometimes we overwork because of external circumstances such as financial problems, distraction from an unsatisfying marriage, or maybe pressure from our workplace. The differentiating feature of real workaholism from similar behaviors is the excessive involvement of the individual in work when it is not required or expected.
Norwegian researchers the University of Bergen created a work addiction scale which uses the following seven criteria to assess the likelihood that an individual possesses a work addiction:
If you answered with “often” or “always” to any of these points, you may be a workaholic. And if we are agreeable, neurotic, intellectual or imaginative, we are more likely
People identified as workaholics often ranked high in terms of these three personality traits:
But what to do about it?
Our lives are too precious to be consumed with work. While work is fun and rewarding - it is not all things, so let’s not get caught in workaholism or even workaholic behaviors.
How much work is too much work? Can you ever turn it off? We’re exploring the roots of workaholism, its impact on our lives, and—most importantly—what to do about it.
What is Workaholism? The term was coined by psychologist Wayne E. Oates back in 1971, likening chronic overwork to addiction. Just like any other addiction, workaholism can interfere with our health, happiness, and relationships. So, how do we know if we’re truly addicted to work or just really engaged? The answer lies in the motivation behind the grind.
Could this be you?
Sometimes we overwork because of external circumstances such as financial problems, distraction from an unsatisfying marriage, or maybe pressure from our workplace. The differentiating feature of real workaholism from similar behaviors is the excessive involvement of the individual in work when it is not required or expected.
Norwegian researchers the University of Bergen created a work addiction scale which uses the following seven criteria to assess the likelihood that an individual possesses a work addiction:
If you answered with “often” or “always” to any of these points, you may be a workaholic. And if we are agreeable, neurotic, intellectual or imaginative, we are more likely
People identified as workaholics often ranked high in terms of these three personality traits:
But what to do about it?
Our lives are too precious to be consumed with work. While work is fun and rewarding - it is not all things, so let’s not get caught in workaholism or even workaholic behaviors.
A survey by LLC Inc. of over 1000 people across the US with an average age revealed that 83% of us have coworkers who annoys us, 21% have been so annoyed by a coworker they have considered quitting, and 52% say annoying coworkers prevent them from doing their best work. Yowza - that is something. And what don’t we like about our coworkers? We do not like complainers, laziness, arrogance (our personal favorite), too much talking, negativity, entitlement (okay so maybe this is our favorite), poor communication, oversharing, or gossipping.
So, what do you do when you’re stuck working with someone you dislike? There are some good strategies, but first, get some perspective. How much does it matter and are there ways of looking at it differently?
What to do:
As always, the person we control is ourselves, so when we have feelings of dislike for a coworker, looking inward can be very helpful. Do you let your brain run with every little incident? What do our reactions say about us?
Here is the hard one - be the grown up. The emotionally intelligent grown up. We can stay away from the resentment spiral and remove ourselves from unproductive conversations.
Work very hard to find something you like or admire. People are rarely just one thing and we can usually find something to like or admire.
Being anything less than respectful ends up leaving us with metaphorical egg on our faces. Try compassion and respect - who knows, we may find ourselves surprised by the person we dislike.
If we feel pretty confident with checking in with ourselves, being the grown up, seeing the good and embracing compassion and respect, we will find ourselves in connection, which of course is the big payoff.
And if we cannot get to connect, then we can be strategic about how we expose ourselves, which includes being very intentional about what we need from the interactions we really have to have with the coworkers we do not like.
Not everyone we work with needs to be our friend or even someone we like. While it sure is great when it happens, we can work well when we respect others and ourselves.
Survey Reveals the Most Annoying Coworker Habits - LLC.org
How to Work with Someone You Really Don’t Like
A survey by LLC Inc. of over 1000 people across the US with an average age revealed that 83% of us have coworkers who annoys us, 21% have been so annoyed by a coworker they have considered quitting, and 52% say annoying coworkers prevent them from doing their best work. Yowza - that is something. And what don’t we like about our coworkers? We do not like complainers, laziness, arrogance (our personal favorite), too much talking, negativity, entitlement (okay so maybe this is our favorite), poor communication, oversharing, or gossipping.
So, what do you do when you’re stuck working with someone you dislike? There are some good strategies, but first, get some perspective. How much does it matter and are there ways of looking at it differently?
What to do:
As always, the person we control is ourselves, so when we have feelings of dislike for a coworker, looking inward can be very helpful. Do you let your brain run with every little incident? What do our reactions say about us?
Here is the hard one - be the grown up. The emotionally intelligent grown up. We can stay away from the resentment spiral and remove ourselves from unproductive conversations.
Work very hard to find something you like or admire. People are rarely just one thing and we can usually find something to like or admire.
Being anything less than respectful ends up leaving us with metaphorical egg on our faces. Try compassion and respect - who knows, we may find ourselves surprised by the person we dislike.
If we feel pretty confident with checking in with ourselves, being the grown up, seeing the good and embracing compassion and respect, we will find ourselves in connection, which of course is the big payoff.
And if we cannot get to connect, then we can be strategic about how we expose ourselves, which includes being very intentional about what we need from the interactions we really have to have with the coworkers we do not like.
Not everyone we work with needs to be our friend or even someone we like. While it sure is great when it happens, we can work well when we respect others and ourselves.
Survey Reveals the Most Annoying Coworker Habits - LLC.org
How to Work with Someone You Really Don’t Like
Unpack the magic of saying “yes” more often, the beauty of spontaneous connections, and why your next best decision might just be unplanned. Even at work!
Most of us pride ourselves on our planning – we are prepared, we are ready for anything and we are efficient and effective – BUT, let’s consider the unplanned.
Spontaneity According to Webster’s Dictionary, spontaneity is “without constraint, effort, or premeditation, unplanned or impromptu.” Spontaneous shows our openness, flexibility and our confidence in our ability to handle something new or unexpected.
Why You Need More Spontaneity in Your Life A poll by OnePoll for Cub Cadet, a tractor company, found Americans make an average of 18 spontaneous decisions per day. Those who identify as spontaneous are more likely to be happy, content, and even stress-free. We’re talking about major decisions here too: spontaneous job changes, last-minute vacations, or adopting that adorable rescue dog.
Tiny Acts of Spontaneity at Work Spontaneity isn't just for your personal life; it’s for work. Spontaneity boosts creativity and enhances problem-solving. The 10 minute walk you take may lead to a fresh brain and a great conversation with a colleague who you see when you walk in the door. We exercise our agency in the moment and we are refreshed and ready.
Barriers to Spontaneity Lots of things get in the way of our spontaneity. Fear of the unknown, a need for control, or others’ expectations can make being spontaneous feel uncomfortable. But here’s a challenge: free up a couple of hours this week, leave it unplanned, and see where your mood takes you. Even blocking free time in your calendar, which is kind of a plan, to see where our hearts and mind take us counts because of the spontaneity in the moment. Spontaneity is the ultimate form of agency, folks. It’s about trusting ourselves to handle whatever comes your way.
How to be more spontaneous: 7 tips to live in the moment — Calm Blog.
Unpack the magic of saying “yes” more often, the beauty of spontaneous connections, and why your next best decision might just be unplanned. Even at work!
Most of us pride ourselves on our planning – we are prepared, we are ready for anything and we are efficient and effective – BUT, let’s consider the unplanned.
Spontaneity According to Webster’s Dictionary, spontaneity is “without constraint, effort, or premeditation, unplanned or impromptu.” Spontaneous shows our openness, flexibility and our confidence in our ability to handle something new or unexpected.
Why You Need More Spontaneity in Your Life A poll by OnePoll for Cub Cadet, a tractor company, found Americans make an average of 18 spontaneous decisions per day. Those who identify as spontaneous are more likely to be happy, content, and even stress-free. We’re talking about major decisions here too: spontaneous job changes, last-minute vacations, or adopting that adorable rescue dog.
Tiny Acts of Spontaneity at Work Spontaneity isn't just for your personal life; it’s for work. Spontaneity boosts creativity and enhances problem-solving. The 10 minute walk you take may lead to a fresh brain and a great conversation with a colleague who you see when you walk in the door. We exercise our agency in the moment and we are refreshed and ready.
Barriers to Spontaneity Lots of things get in the way of our spontaneity. Fear of the unknown, a need for control, or others’ expectations can make being spontaneous feel uncomfortable. But here’s a challenge: free up a couple of hours this week, leave it unplanned, and see where your mood takes you. Even blocking free time in your calendar, which is kind of a plan, to see where our hearts and mind take us counts because of the spontaneity in the moment. Spontaneity is the ultimate form of agency, folks. It’s about trusting ourselves to handle whatever comes your way.
How to be more spontaneous: 7 tips to live in the moment — Calm Blog.
From the sexualized Kamala t-shirts to the way women are treated in areas such as caregiving, menstruation, and menopause, misogyny is pervasive in our society.
Misogyny is defined as the hatred, contempt, or prejudice against women or girls, which keeps them at a lower social status than men, perpetuating the social roles of patriarchy. Misogyny can manifest in obvious and subtle ways, affecting women in various aspects of their lives.
Feminist scholars like Andrea Dworkin and Kate Manne have shed light on the insidious nature of misogyny in our culture. Dworkin argues that society regards women as contemptible and subjects them to violence and discrimination, while Manne describes misogyny as a shock collar that enforces women's subordination in a patriarchal society.
The demographics most affected by misogyny is also alarming, with BIPOC women experiencing its effects in conjunction with racism. From medical research to athletics and law enforcement, examples of misogyny in plain sight illustrate the lack of value placed on women in our society.
Finally, there’s the importance of fighting misogyny in the workplace, advocating for oneself, and celebrating International Women's Day. There are so many amazing women and influential figures like Drew Afualo, who uses her platform to combat misogyny and empower women.
Join us as we unravel the complex web of misogyny, sexism, and patriarchy, and explore ways to challenge these harmful ideologies in our daily lives.
Good Reads:
Kate Manne: The Shock Collar That Is Misogyny
Celebrating International Women’s Day! [2024 DEI Resources] | Diversity for Social Impact
How Misogyny Became Part of Our Culture & Workplaces | InHerSight
How to Fight Misogyny in the Workplace | Inc.com
From the sexualized Kamala t-shirts to the way women are treated in areas such as caregiving, menstruation, and menopause, misogyny is pervasive in our society.
Misogyny is defined as the hatred, contempt, or prejudice against women or girls, which keeps them at a lower social status than men, perpetuating the social roles of patriarchy. Misogyny can manifest in obvious and subtle ways, affecting women in various aspects of their lives.
Feminist scholars like Andrea Dworkin and Kate Manne have shed light on the insidious nature of misogyny in our culture. Dworkin argues that society regards women as contemptible and subjects them to violence and discrimination, while Manne describes misogyny as a shock collar that enforces women's subordination in a patriarchal society.
The demographics most affected by misogyny is also alarming, with BIPOC women experiencing its effects in conjunction with racism. From medical research to athletics and law enforcement, examples of misogyny in plain sight illustrate the lack of value placed on women in our society.
Finally, there’s the importance of fighting misogyny in the workplace, advocating for oneself, and celebrating International Women's Day. There are so many amazing women and influential figures like Drew Afualo, who uses her platform to combat misogyny and empower women.
Join us as we unravel the complex web of misogyny, sexism, and patriarchy, and explore ways to challenge these harmful ideologies in our daily lives.
Good Reads:
Kate Manne: The Shock Collar That Is Misogyny
Celebrating International Women’s Day! [2024 DEI Resources] | Diversity for Social Impact
How Misogyny Became Part of Our Culture & Workplaces | InHerSight
How to Fight Misogyny in the Workplace | Inc.com
As if FOMO were not enough, now we consider FOBO, or the fear of obsolescence, in this climate of ever changing technology.
SHOW NOTES
Obsolescence is a reduction in our competence as an employee resulting from a lack of knowledge of new work processes, techniques, and technologies that have developed since we completed our education - and that we have somehow missed out on acquiring. As humans we have been becoming obsolete since we stood up on two feet - the hunter gatherers became farmers, the farmers became factory workers and the factory workers have become technology and service industry workers. We know how to do this - on the macro level, as an economy and society.
Trucking is a great example of worker obsolescence. In the early 20th century, truck drivers replaced the cart and horse for deliveries and now the promise of self-driving trucks, making truck drivers obsolete, has done a couple of things in the market - truckers are generally older and the wages have risen according to NPR.
The mysterious threats and impacts of workforce obsolescence : NPR. Older workers with less time in the workforce are willing to keep or go into these jobs, but younger workers with more time to work are far less willing to enter an occupation that may very well go away.
According to a recent Gallup Poll 22% of workers are worried that technological advancements will make their jobs obsolete, a 7% jump since 2021. The increase is being driven "almost entirely" by college-educated workers. The Gallup data shows that men and women currently express equitable trepidation levels when it comes to being replaced by technology. Good to know there is some equity in FOBO!
Fearing obsolescence is not just self-doubt, rather, we fundamentally question our ability to participate in the workforce. When we experience this kind of fear, it can affect our behavior at work and our experience of ease, meaning and joy. In a study of counterproductive work behaviors, researchers found some common counterproductive work behaviors in workers who were experiencing FOBO: attention-seeking behavior; being hypervigilant; and drawing unhealthy comparisons. We can counteract FOBO by focusing our efforts on training - either for the current job or a new one; taking on new opportunities, saying yes and telling yourself the truth about your skills and your current job and its future - and being willing to consider what is next.
MORE GOOD READS
How to Stop Worrying About Becoming Obsolete at Work (hbr.org).
U.S. Workers Face Growing Fears Of Becoming Obsolete— Here’s How You Can Fight Back Against ‘FOBO
’Face Your Fear of Becoming Obsolete
As if FOMO were not enough, now we consider FOBO, or the fear of obsolescence, in this climate of ever changing technology.
SHOW NOTES
Obsolescence is a reduction in our competence as an employee resulting from a lack of knowledge of new work processes, techniques, and technologies that have developed since we completed our education - and that we have somehow missed out on acquiring. As humans we have been becoming obsolete since we stood up on two feet - the hunter gatherers became farmers, the farmers became factory workers and the factory workers have become technology and service industry workers. We know how to do this - on the macro level, as an economy and society.
Trucking is a great example of worker obsolescence. In the early 20th century, truck drivers replaced the cart and horse for deliveries and now the promise of self-driving trucks, making truck drivers obsolete, has done a couple of things in the market - truckers are generally older and the wages have risen according to NPR.
The mysterious threats and impacts of workforce obsolescence : NPR. Older workers with less time in the workforce are willing to keep or go into these jobs, but younger workers with more time to work are far less willing to enter an occupation that may very well go away.
According to a recent Gallup Poll 22% of workers are worried that technological advancements will make their jobs obsolete, a 7% jump since 2021. The increase is being driven "almost entirely" by college-educated workers. The Gallup data shows that men and women currently express equitable trepidation levels when it comes to being replaced by technology. Good to know there is some equity in FOBO!
Fearing obsolescence is not just self-doubt, rather, we fundamentally question our ability to participate in the workforce. When we experience this kind of fear, it can affect our behavior at work and our experience of ease, meaning and joy. In a study of counterproductive work behaviors, researchers found some common counterproductive work behaviors in workers who were experiencing FOBO: attention-seeking behavior; being hypervigilant; and drawing unhealthy comparisons. We can counteract FOBO by focusing our efforts on training - either for the current job or a new one; taking on new opportunities, saying yes and telling yourself the truth about your skills and your current job and its future - and being willing to consider what is next.
MORE GOOD READS
How to Stop Worrying About Becoming Obsolete at Work (hbr.org).
U.S. Workers Face Growing Fears Of Becoming Obsolete— Here’s How You Can Fight Back Against ‘FOBO
’Face Your Fear of Becoming Obsolete
Questions are vital in all interactions as they transform the mundane into the mysterious and reveal what we don’t know. They’re the Swiss Army knife of communication, spurring learning, innovation, trust, and even mitigating business risks.
SHOW NOTES
Asking great questions isn’t just for consultants and lawyers (aka Crina and Kirsten). It’s a universal skill that makes you more likable, empathetic, and approachable. This ability fosters better decisions and collective intelligence, whether you’re a marketing guru or a freelance artist.
Per the norm, we find gender issues embedded in question asking. Men and women use questions differently. Men often ask fewer questions interpersonally but more in professional contexts. Women, however, are less likely to ask questions in high-stakes professional settings but more in personal conversations. A 2018 study found women were less likely to ask questions in academic seminars, often due to feeling less confident or intimidated by the speaker. Interesting, yes?
There are all kinds of questions and it is good to get clear about these when asking questions.
Investigative Questions: What’s known? These questions can dig deep to unearth nonobvious information, like the time the French railroad overlooked platform measurements and bought train cars that were too large for existing platforms, leading to costly train modifications.
Speculative Questions: What If? These broaden perspectives, sparking creativity. What if we create
Productive Questions: Now What? These assess resources and execution plans.
Interpretive Questions: So, What? These synthesize information, turning analysis into actionable insights. For instance, Tesla’s revolutionary appeal was missed by competitors because competitors focused on Tesla’s minor imperfections.
Subjective Questions: What’s Unsaid? These address personal reservations and emotional dynamics. British Airways missed the emotional reaction of its public when it rebranded.
Listening: The Unsung Hero
To ask good questions, you must listen actively. Presence, curiosity, and connection are key. As Daniel Ek of Spotify says, questioning always circles back to purpose: “Why are we doing things? Why does it matter?”
Questions are more than a tool—they're an art form. From igniting innovation to fostering deeper connections, mastering the art of asking questions can unlock endless possibilities. So, why are you still talking? It’s time to ask your next great question and listen.
Questions are vital in all interactions as they transform the mundane into the mysterious and reveal what we don’t know. They’re the Swiss Army knife of communication, spurring learning, innovation, trust, and even mitigating business risks.
SHOW NOTES
Asking great questions isn’t just for consultants and lawyers (aka Crina and Kirsten). It’s a universal skill that makes you more likable, empathetic, and approachable. This ability fosters better decisions and collective intelligence, whether you’re a marketing guru or a freelance artist.
Per the norm, we find gender issues embedded in question asking. Men and women use questions differently. Men often ask fewer questions interpersonally but more in professional contexts. Women, however, are less likely to ask questions in high-stakes professional settings but more in personal conversations. A 2018 study found women were less likely to ask questions in academic seminars, often due to feeling less confident or intimidated by the speaker. Interesting, yes?
There are all kinds of questions and it is good to get clear about these when asking questions.
Investigative Questions: What’s known? These questions can dig deep to unearth nonobvious information, like the time the French railroad overlooked platform measurements and bought train cars that were too large for existing platforms, leading to costly train modifications.
Speculative Questions: What If? These broaden perspectives, sparking creativity. What if we create
Productive Questions: Now What? These assess resources and execution plans.
Interpretive Questions: So, What? These synthesize information, turning analysis into actionable insights. For instance, Tesla’s revolutionary appeal was missed by competitors because competitors focused on Tesla’s minor imperfections.
Subjective Questions: What’s Unsaid? These address personal reservations and emotional dynamics. British Airways missed the emotional reaction of its public when it rebranded.
Listening: The Unsung Hero
To ask good questions, you must listen actively. Presence, curiosity, and connection are key. As Daniel Ek of Spotify says, questioning always circles back to purpose: “Why are we doing things? Why does it matter?”
Questions are more than a tool—they're an art form. From igniting innovation to fostering deeper connections, mastering the art of asking questions can unlock endless possibilities. So, why are you still talking? It’s time to ask your next great question and listen.
While adversity often results in some kind of growth, many challenges are painful and exhausting - and yet, most of us need to continue to show up at work even during these hard times.
Show Notes
The adversity from personal challenges can lead to personal growth, enhancing life appreciation, personal strength, relationships, spiritual growth, and recognizing new life paths. Although painful experiences are something any of us want, many people experience Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). No one really wants or asks for that gift, but there it is - even at work.
When we are managing employees in crisis, we can be most helpful by bringing our best in terms of compassion and flexibility. Managers should set a compassionate tone, offer creative solutions, and check in regularly without becoming overly involved or making unfulfillable promises - and even with flexibility remember boundaries. Consistency in treating similar situations among employees is crucial.
Personal crises can impact our work lives - everything from divorce, bankruptcy to illness and death.
During a crisis, brain function is impaired by stress. It's essential to process emotions fully to avoid burnout. Stress perception impacts our functionality: however, viewing stress as a challenge can enhance concentration and performance, while viewing it as a threat increases fear. Key questions to foster a challenge response include identifying control points, specific actions, strengths, and resources.
10 Ways to Function at Work When Your Life is a Mess
While adversity often results in PTG, leading to renewed life appreciation, enhanced strength, deeper relationships, spiritual growth, and new life directions, we acknowledge that these challenges are painful and exhausting - and yet, most of us need to continue to show up at work even during these hard times.
Good Reads
10 Ways to Function at Work When Your Life is a Mess
How to work when your life is a mess | Alexandra Samuel
Working Through a Personal Crisis (hbr.org)
How Adversity Makes You Stronger
How to Manage an Employee Who’s Having a Personal Crisis
While adversity often results in some kind of growth, many challenges are painful and exhausting - and yet, most of us need to continue to show up at work even during these hard times.
Show Notes
The adversity from personal challenges can lead to personal growth, enhancing life appreciation, personal strength, relationships, spiritual growth, and recognizing new life paths. Although painful experiences are something any of us want, many people experience Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). No one really wants or asks for that gift, but there it is - even at work.
When we are managing employees in crisis, we can be most helpful by bringing our best in terms of compassion and flexibility. Managers should set a compassionate tone, offer creative solutions, and check in regularly without becoming overly involved or making unfulfillable promises - and even with flexibility remember boundaries. Consistency in treating similar situations among employees is crucial.
Personal crises can impact our work lives - everything from divorce, bankruptcy to illness and death.
During a crisis, brain function is impaired by stress. It's essential to process emotions fully to avoid burnout. Stress perception impacts our functionality: however, viewing stress as a challenge can enhance concentration and performance, while viewing it as a threat increases fear. Key questions to foster a challenge response include identifying control points, specific actions, strengths, and resources.
10 Ways to Function at Work When Your Life is a Mess
While adversity often results in PTG, leading to renewed life appreciation, enhanced strength, deeper relationships, spiritual growth, and new life directions, we acknowledge that these challenges are painful and exhausting - and yet, most of us need to continue to show up at work even during these hard times.
Good Reads
10 Ways to Function at Work When Your Life is a Mess
How to work when your life is a mess | Alexandra Samuel
Working Through a Personal Crisis (hbr.org)
How Adversity Makes You Stronger
How to Manage an Employee Who’s Having a Personal Crisis
We are surrounded by entrenchment - in our communities, at work, in our families and certainly politically. Entrenchment happens when an attitude, habit, or belief becomes so firmly established that it morphs from “what I believe” into “who I am,” and it makes change difficult and unlikely.
Enter fault lines: the cracks that split groups into subgroups based on aligning attributes like race or age. For instance, young Latino players might form a clique separate from older white players in a Major League Baseball team, creating internal conflicts that erode team cohesion and performance.
Faultlines can breed conflict and hamper communication, however, they can also foster a sense of belonging within subgroups. Accountants and marketers might struggle to collaborate due to their different professional languages, yet find comfort and cohesion within their own teams.
To combat entrenchment, leaders need to first understand the different types of subgroups and their effects. Consider spatial presence, surface-level characteristics like gender or race, knowledge bases, and deep-level identities like values and beliefs, which all play roles to a greater and lesser degree in subgroup formation and entrenchment.
Observing team interactions—who talks to whom, who aligns with whom—can reveal existing subgroups. Leaders should also be aware of their own potential alignments with these subgroups. To break down these entrenched barriers, leaders can mix up team memberships, emphasise shared goals and adversaries, encourage formal and informal time spent together, and engage boundary spanners who can navigate between groups. Embracing curiosity about other subgroups is also key.
Other Good Reads:
Is Your Organisation Digging Trenches or Building Bridges?
Faultline Theory: Why Teams Fall Apart | by Small World Solutions Group | Medium
We are surrounded by entrenchment - in our communities, at work, in our families and certainly politically. Entrenchment happens when an attitude, habit, or belief becomes so firmly established that it morphs from “what I believe” into “who I am,” and it makes change difficult and unlikely.
Enter fault lines: the cracks that split groups into subgroups based on aligning attributes like race or age. For instance, young Latino players might form a clique separate from older white players in a Major League Baseball team, creating internal conflicts that erode team cohesion and performance.
Faultlines can breed conflict and hamper communication, however, they can also foster a sense of belonging within subgroups. Accountants and marketers might struggle to collaborate due to their different professional languages, yet find comfort and cohesion within their own teams.
To combat entrenchment, leaders need to first understand the different types of subgroups and their effects. Consider spatial presence, surface-level characteristics like gender or race, knowledge bases, and deep-level identities like values and beliefs, which all play roles to a greater and lesser degree in subgroup formation and entrenchment.
Observing team interactions—who talks to whom, who aligns with whom—can reveal existing subgroups. Leaders should also be aware of their own potential alignments with these subgroups. To break down these entrenched barriers, leaders can mix up team memberships, emphasise shared goals and adversaries, encourage formal and informal time spent together, and engage boundary spanners who can navigate between groups. Embracing curiosity about other subgroups is also key.
Other Good Reads:
Is Your Organisation Digging Trenches or Building Bridges?
Faultline Theory: Why Teams Fall Apart | by Small World Solutions Group | Medium
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our gal pals focus on memory, how memory affects the workplace and how we can address or minimize memory issues. Crina had several experiences where people she was in meetings with or spoke to had wildly different recollections of what was said.
Let’s shout out to the ladies’ memories - which are better than males - at least according to
The Wonder Of You: Why Women Have Better Memory Than Men. This may be because memories “stick” better when we pay attention, focus on details and they are accompanied by feelings. It is kind of like telling ourselves a story and it makes our memories better.
Neuroscientist Lisa Genova has done a deep dive into memory and neurological disorders - in fact, she is scientist turned fiction writer telling stories about the experiences of people who experience neurological disorders. Her most recent book, Remember: The science of memory and the art of forgetting is non-fiction. She tells us that memory is essential to almost everything we do - walking, talking, interaction, watching a movie, eating. Without memory, we are untethered to the life we live.
Our brains are designed to remember what is meaningful, emotional, surprising, new and what we repeat and practice. This applies to our four kinds of memory: muscle memory, semantic memory (facts and information), episodic memory (what happened in your life) and working memory (doing things like writing, talking and problem solving).
We create memory when our brain takes in information, weaves it together and stores it to a neural circuit we can later access. Every memory actually changes our beautiful brains. And our memories are surprisingly accurate. We can train our brains to be better at memory, but the passage of time does impact the reliability of our memories.
Stress, lack of sleep, poor diet and lack of sleep can impact our memories. In short, think self-care for a better memory. In addition, writing things down, repeating what you have heard, telling yourself stories, making connections and calming down can all improve memory.
This is all to say memory is remarkable and also not always reliable - if we take care of ourselves and pay close attention our memories will better serve us.
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our gal pals focus on memory, how memory affects the workplace and how we can address or minimize memory issues. Crina had several experiences where people she was in meetings with or spoke to had wildly different recollections of what was said.
Let’s shout out to the ladies’ memories - which are better than males - at least according to
The Wonder Of You: Why Women Have Better Memory Than Men. This may be because memories “stick” better when we pay attention, focus on details and they are accompanied by feelings. It is kind of like telling ourselves a story and it makes our memories better.
Neuroscientist Lisa Genova has done a deep dive into memory and neurological disorders - in fact, she is scientist turned fiction writer telling stories about the experiences of people who experience neurological disorders. Her most recent book, Remember: The science of memory and the art of forgetting is non-fiction. She tells us that memory is essential to almost everything we do - walking, talking, interaction, watching a movie, eating. Without memory, we are untethered to the life we live.
Our brains are designed to remember what is meaningful, emotional, surprising, new and what we repeat and practice. This applies to our four kinds of memory: muscle memory, semantic memory (facts and information), episodic memory (what happened in your life) and working memory (doing things like writing, talking and problem solving).
We create memory when our brain takes in information, weaves it together and stores it to a neural circuit we can later access. Every memory actually changes our beautiful brains. And our memories are surprisingly accurate. We can train our brains to be better at memory, but the passage of time does impact the reliability of our memories.
Stress, lack of sleep, poor diet and lack of sleep can impact our memories. In short, think self-care for a better memory. In addition, writing things down, repeating what you have heard, telling yourself stories, making connections and calming down can all improve memory.
This is all to say memory is remarkable and also not always reliable - if we take care of ourselves and pay close attention our memories will better serve us.
Who knew that our ears could boost your business game? Active listening skills can amp up collaboration and productivity by a whopping 25%. Learning the art of listening also increases employee satisfaction by 30%. And a staggering 80% of workplace drama stems from poor communication. Clearly, listening isn't just kind — it's powerful. We spend about 45% of our waking hours listening. For the average American, that's around 7.58 hours a day. We hear between 20,000 to 30,000 words daily—way more than the 16,000 words we speak. Sadly, over 70% of workers suffer from poor listening habits, impacting learning (85% of what we learn is from listening) and problem-solving abilities. Listening Statistics – Word Finder by WordsRated; The Biggest Bang for Your Organization’s Buck? Active Listening Skills
Hearing is just your ears doing their job. Active listening? That's your brain going into overdrive, focusing on sounds and extracting meaning. It's a full-on mental workout involving attention, contemplation, and response. According to Harvard's Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg, active listening breaks down into three parts:
Ingredients for Active Listening
Mastering the Art of Active Listening
Remember, listening is more than just nodding and saying "Mm-hmm." It's about asking insightful questions and being truly present. If we stay curious, stay present, we can not only hear but understand and connect on a deeper level. Active listening isn’t just a nice-to-have skill; it's a game-changer. So, lend an ear, and who knows? You might just hear the next big idea.
Who knew that our ears could boost your business game? Active listening skills can amp up collaboration and productivity by a whopping 25%. Learning the art of listening also increases employee satisfaction by 30%. And a staggering 80% of workplace drama stems from poor communication. Clearly, listening isn't just kind — it's powerful. We spend about 45% of our waking hours listening. For the average American, that's around 7.58 hours a day. We hear between 20,000 to 30,000 words daily—way more than the 16,000 words we speak. Sadly, over 70% of workers suffer from poor listening habits, impacting learning (85% of what we learn is from listening) and problem-solving abilities. Listening Statistics – Word Finder by WordsRated; The Biggest Bang for Your Organization’s Buck? Active Listening Skills
Hearing is just your ears doing their job. Active listening? That's your brain going into overdrive, focusing on sounds and extracting meaning. It's a full-on mental workout involving attention, contemplation, and response. According to Harvard's Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg, active listening breaks down into three parts:
Ingredients for Active Listening
Mastering the Art of Active Listening
Remember, listening is more than just nodding and saying "Mm-hmm." It's about asking insightful questions and being truly present. If we stay curious, stay present, we can not only hear but understand and connect on a deeper level. Active listening isn’t just a nice-to-have skill; it's a game-changer. So, lend an ear, and who knows? You might just hear the next big idea.
From embracing discomfort to seeking advice, Crina and Kirsten dive into Dr. Adam Grant’s new book on the science of achievement. Discover how grit and persistence can lead to mastery, no matter where you are in your journey.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts discuss Adam Grant’s new book on the science of achievement. Ever thought about what you’d like to get better at? Crina wants to learn how to have more fun and Kirsten is still working on figuring out “no.” Sigh.
Mastery can start at any chapter of your life. Take Laura Ingalls Wilder, who penned her first success in her 60s, or Vera Wang, who leapt from ice skates to runway gowns. Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until 50, and Phyllis Diller took up stand-up comedy at 37. Or consider Steve Martin who spent years doing the labor of writing his own jokes to get really good at it - he did not start out being good, he learned to be so very good.
Dr. Adam Grant argues in his new book Hidden Potential that those who might lack natural flair but possess the grit to persist, embrace discomfort, and seek advice often outpace the naturally gifted. Think about it: the kid on the soccer field who isn’t the fastest but keeps pushing might just outshine the rest with sheer willpower.
Society tends to glorify innate talent. First off, it is just fun to watch someone who is innately good at something. We may value innate talent because it gives us an easy out when we are not naturally good at something - we do not have to experience the discomfort of trying. And yet we know that real satisfaction comes from finding our way through the tough stuff. Child prodigies often find real-world challenges daunting precisely because they haven’t navigated the messier, less predictable paths of life. The dichotomy of talent and challenge is fundamental to understanding our hidden potential.
Grant suggests that we embrace the discomfort that signals we are learning, mix up our routine to keep things interesting, and engage in the dual dance of seeking and giving advice. And there is so much more in Hidden Potential so give it a read.
From embracing discomfort to seeking advice, Crina and Kirsten dive into Dr. Adam Grant’s new book on the science of achievement. Discover how grit and persistence can lead to mastery, no matter where you are in your journey.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts discuss Adam Grant’s new book on the science of achievement. Ever thought about what you’d like to get better at? Crina wants to learn how to have more fun and Kirsten is still working on figuring out “no.” Sigh.
Mastery can start at any chapter of your life. Take Laura Ingalls Wilder, who penned her first success in her 60s, or Vera Wang, who leapt from ice skates to runway gowns. Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until 50, and Phyllis Diller took up stand-up comedy at 37. Or consider Steve Martin who spent years doing the labor of writing his own jokes to get really good at it - he did not start out being good, he learned to be so very good.
Dr. Adam Grant argues in his new book Hidden Potential that those who might lack natural flair but possess the grit to persist, embrace discomfort, and seek advice often outpace the naturally gifted. Think about it: the kid on the soccer field who isn’t the fastest but keeps pushing might just outshine the rest with sheer willpower.
Society tends to glorify innate talent. First off, it is just fun to watch someone who is innately good at something. We may value innate talent because it gives us an easy out when we are not naturally good at something - we do not have to experience the discomfort of trying. And yet we know that real satisfaction comes from finding our way through the tough stuff. Child prodigies often find real-world challenges daunting precisely because they haven’t navigated the messier, less predictable paths of life. The dichotomy of talent and challenge is fundamental to understanding our hidden potential.
Grant suggests that we embrace the discomfort that signals we are learning, mix up our routine to keep things interesting, and engage in the dual dance of seeking and giving advice. And there is so much more in Hidden Potential so give it a read.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our “hosts with the most” discuss not giving a #%$X! Yes, friends, there are times when we should care less about work. Our precious mental, emotional and even spiritual energy are really better used on something else.
There is so much we can care about at work - what other people think, what other people do, outcomes we cannot control, what information we do not have - just so much and yet when is it really worth it to care?
Our duo starts with what is worth caring about:
Work weaves its way through many of the things we care about. The challenge with work is that many of us tend to define ourselves by our work.
Harvard Business Review interviewed 700 employees and concluded that while passion at work is generally a good thing, too much passion leads to burnout and a little detachment goes a long way to creating a sustainable relationship with work, with reduced burnout, enhanced creativity, increased resilience, better focus and better decision making. Don’t Let Passion Lead to Burnout on Your Team (hbr.org)
So how to do we give less of a #%$X without getting ourselves into the #%$X?
Ask yourself why: Carefully consider why you care so deeply about something? Is it just about ego or is it really consistent with the list above (relationships you value, principles you hold dear . . .).
Ask yourself whether your response/involvement is really that important: Doing nothing can be perfectly appropriate; and remember most people care far less about what we do than we think.
Pur your job in context: A job is not the be all and end all of your life and if it is, that is a new issue to consider. For most of us a job funds our lives and those of the people we love.
Create boundaries between work life and personal life. Boundaries between work and personal are key to caring a little less when caring is overwhelming. Do you leave on time, do you check your emails all evening, do you cancel time with friends and family because of work emergencies? Creating stronger boundaries can help us create that work life balance, which may just need a little less caring.
And remember there are really always four responses to a situation:
We have options in deciding how much we care. And we need to wisely use our caring energy.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our “hosts with the most” discuss not giving a #%$X! Yes, friends, there are times when we should care less about work. Our precious mental, emotional and even spiritual energy are really better used on something else.
There is so much we can care about at work - what other people think, what other people do, outcomes we cannot control, what information we do not have - just so much and yet when is it really worth it to care?
Our duo starts with what is worth caring about:
Work weaves its way through many of the things we care about. The challenge with work is that many of us tend to define ourselves by our work.
Harvard Business Review interviewed 700 employees and concluded that while passion at work is generally a good thing, too much passion leads to burnout and a little detachment goes a long way to creating a sustainable relationship with work, with reduced burnout, enhanced creativity, increased resilience, better focus and better decision making. Don’t Let Passion Lead to Burnout on Your Team (hbr.org)
So how to do we give less of a #%$X without getting ourselves into the #%$X?
Ask yourself why: Carefully consider why you care so deeply about something? Is it just about ego or is it really consistent with the list above (relationships you value, principles you hold dear . . .).
Ask yourself whether your response/involvement is really that important: Doing nothing can be perfectly appropriate; and remember most people care far less about what we do than we think.
Pur your job in context: A job is not the be all and end all of your life and if it is, that is a new issue to consider. For most of us a job funds our lives and those of the people we love.
Create boundaries between work life and personal life. Boundaries between work and personal are key to caring a little less when caring is overwhelming. Do you leave on time, do you check your emails all evening, do you cancel time with friends and family because of work emergencies? Creating stronger boundaries can help us create that work life balance, which may just need a little less caring.
And remember there are really always four responses to a situation:
We have options in deciding how much we care. And we need to wisely use our caring energy.
Let’s have some good news about women at work. And what better place to look than in the news from all over the world.
In a great story out of Australia, we can all have a good chuckle about an art installation that excluded men and the legal challenge that ensued from a man who felt he was not getting his money’s worth because he could not access an exhibit only available to women. The Court disagreed with the man who filed the suit finding that he was experiencing exactly what the artist wanted him to experience - exclusion. Museum behind ladies-only art exhibit sued by man who was denied entry - National | Globalnews.ca
And here in the US, women are reentering the workforce at a record pace. This resurgence appears to be linked to women coming back to a more diverse set of industries and positions more women in leadership and the flexibility offered by hybrid work. 3 Reasons Women Are Reentering The Workforce At A Record Pace
In a study commissioned by the non-profit Girls Who Code and its Moms First campaign, Boston Consulting Group found that on-site childcare, close to site childcare, backup childcare and childcare stipends had impressive returns on investment - anywhere from 90% to 425% - all we can say is WOW! BCG Report, 2024 - Moms First
NPR reported on Icelandic women continuing their tradition of striking to create equity in pay for women and non-binary people. Women and nonbinary Icelanders go on a 24-hour strike to protest the gender pay gap
And last up - we know women have typically had to work harder than men for the same pay and recognition. This travesty does not apply to exercise. The Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that women get more benefits than men from the same amount of exercise.
And that is the good news, listeners.
Let’s have some good news about women at work. And what better place to look than in the news from all over the world.
In a great story out of Australia, we can all have a good chuckle about an art installation that excluded men and the legal challenge that ensued from a man who felt he was not getting his money’s worth because he could not access an exhibit only available to women. The Court disagreed with the man who filed the suit finding that he was experiencing exactly what the artist wanted him to experience - exclusion. Museum behind ladies-only art exhibit sued by man who was denied entry - National | Globalnews.ca
And here in the US, women are reentering the workforce at a record pace. This resurgence appears to be linked to women coming back to a more diverse set of industries and positions more women in leadership and the flexibility offered by hybrid work. 3 Reasons Women Are Reentering The Workforce At A Record Pace
In a study commissioned by the non-profit Girls Who Code and its Moms First campaign, Boston Consulting Group found that on-site childcare, close to site childcare, backup childcare and childcare stipends had impressive returns on investment - anywhere from 90% to 425% - all we can say is WOW! BCG Report, 2024 - Moms First
NPR reported on Icelandic women continuing their tradition of striking to create equity in pay for women and non-binary people. Women and nonbinary Icelanders go on a 24-hour strike to protest the gender pay gap
And last up - we know women have typically had to work harder than men for the same pay and recognition. This travesty does not apply to exercise. The Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that women get more benefits than men from the same amount of exercise.
And that is the good news, listeners.
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts explore executive presence for women at work. Sylvia Ann Hewlett, an economist and the CEO of Hewlett Consulting Partners, said that executive presence is the difference between merit and success. We can sometimes cringe when we hear and talk about executive presence because it can feel like a call to be someone other than who we are - the requirement to fit into a mold to be a leader. No, say our hosts!! The new executive presence is about authenticity and inclusion.
Hewlett conducted surveys in 2012 and again in 2022 that tell a story of significant shifts in our view of executive presence. The New Rules of Executive Presence (hbr.org). Hewlett says, “[t]he old ideal—shaped and embodied by white male CEOs who ruled the U.S. and European corporate worlds through the beginning of this century—has long been eroding.”
Executive presence is made up of gravitas (think confidence and decisiveness); communication (think clear and direct) and appearance (think authenticity). In 2012, Hewett’s survey showed that having “a blue-chip” pedigree was important for gravitas, and that characteristic did not even make the list in 2022. In 2022, respect and inclusiveness were more important to executive presence than they were in 2012. Another shift was seen in the communication element of executive presence where in 2012 “forceful” was important and in 2022 “listening to learn” was important to executive presence. Even our view of executive presence as it relates to appearance has changed - while being polished is still important, authenticity has risen to one of the most important factors in the appearance component.
Executive presence is learnable - and you do not have to master all of the elements. Focusing on your authentic strengths can improve your executive presence. Hewlett’s work tells us two important things: 1. we can be our authentic selves and have executive presence; and 2. executive presence in the workplace is more inclusive than ever before.
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts explore executive presence for women at work. Sylvia Ann Hewlett, an economist and the CEO of Hewlett Consulting Partners, said that executive presence is the difference between merit and success. We can sometimes cringe when we hear and talk about executive presence because it can feel like a call to be someone other than who we are - the requirement to fit into a mold to be a leader. No, say our hosts!! The new executive presence is about authenticity and inclusion.
Hewlett conducted surveys in 2012 and again in 2022 that tell a story of significant shifts in our view of executive presence. The New Rules of Executive Presence (hbr.org). Hewlett says, “[t]he old ideal—shaped and embodied by white male CEOs who ruled the U.S. and European corporate worlds through the beginning of this century—has long been eroding.”
Executive presence is made up of gravitas (think confidence and decisiveness); communication (think clear and direct) and appearance (think authenticity). In 2012, Hewett’s survey showed that having “a blue-chip” pedigree was important for gravitas, and that characteristic did not even make the list in 2022. In 2022, respect and inclusiveness were more important to executive presence than they were in 2012. Another shift was seen in the communication element of executive presence where in 2012 “forceful” was important and in 2022 “listening to learn” was important to executive presence. Even our view of executive presence as it relates to appearance has changed - while being polished is still important, authenticity has risen to one of the most important factors in the appearance component.
Executive presence is learnable - and you do not have to master all of the elements. Focusing on your authentic strengths can improve your executive presence. Hewlett’s work tells us two important things: 1. we can be our authentic selves and have executive presence; and 2. executive presence in the workplace is more inclusive than ever before.
Microstress differs from traditional stress in its subtlety and frequency. These small, often unnoticed stressors can accumulate and greatly impact our well-being, both mentally and physically. Join us as we uncover the hidden impacts of microstress and explore strategies to combat its effects for a healthier, more balanced life.
SHOW NOTES
While traditional stress arises from major life events, microstressors are small, often unnoticed, and yet they can accumulate and significantly affect our well-being. Microstress, unlike what we think of as more conventional stress, does not provoke the same physiological response as bigger stress - so our body is not working to protect us from stress in the same way. Microstressors can be categorized into three main types:
The effects of microstress extend beyond mental health, impacting physical well-being as well. It disrupts the body's ability to maintain internal balance, leading to issues like "brain fog," where cognitive function is impaired - and even affects our body’s ability to process food. Despite these challenges, there are strategies to mitigate the effects of microstress.
Pushing back against microstress in practical ways—such as learning to say no to small requests, managing technology to reduce interruptions, and readjusting relationships to prevent others from putting microstress on you—can be effective. Rising above these stressors, by keeping them in perspective and not letting them consume us, is another valuable approach.
Human connection emerges as a powerful tool in combating microstress. Engaging with others helps develop brain circuits that manage our reactions and emotions, alleviating the burden of stress. By cultivating diverse connections and engaging in meaningful activities, we can create a multidimensional life that buffers us against the effects of microstress.
Join us as we explore the world of microstress, uncovering its hidden impacts and discovering strategies to combat its effects. Learn how small changes in daily life can lead to significant improvements in overall well-being.
Microstress differs from traditional stress in its subtlety and frequency. These small, often unnoticed stressors can accumulate and greatly impact our well-being, both mentally and physically. Join us as we uncover the hidden impacts of microstress and explore strategies to combat its effects for a healthier, more balanced life.
SHOW NOTES
While traditional stress arises from major life events, microstressors are small, often unnoticed, and yet they can accumulate and significantly affect our well-being. Microstress, unlike what we think of as more conventional stress, does not provoke the same physiological response as bigger stress - so our body is not working to protect us from stress in the same way. Microstressors can be categorized into three main types:
The effects of microstress extend beyond mental health, impacting physical well-being as well. It disrupts the body's ability to maintain internal balance, leading to issues like "brain fog," where cognitive function is impaired - and even affects our body’s ability to process food. Despite these challenges, there are strategies to mitigate the effects of microstress.
Pushing back against microstress in practical ways—such as learning to say no to small requests, managing technology to reduce interruptions, and readjusting relationships to prevent others from putting microstress on you—can be effective. Rising above these stressors, by keeping them in perspective and not letting them consume us, is another valuable approach.
Human connection emerges as a powerful tool in combating microstress. Engaging with others helps develop brain circuits that manage our reactions and emotions, alleviating the burden of stress. By cultivating diverse connections and engaging in meaningful activities, we can create a multidimensional life that buffers us against the effects of microstress.
Join us as we explore the world of microstress, uncovering its hidden impacts and discovering strategies to combat its effects. Learn how small changes in daily life can lead to significant improvements in overall well-being.
Embarrassing yourself is the key to success - well, not exactly, but there are benefits to embarrassment. In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts delve into this unusual emotion - embarrassment - hot head, panic, stomach upset, racing heart, sweating - and all of the things.
SHOW NOTES
Science tells us embarrassment is a unique emotion - unlike an emotion such as fear, we need to think before we can feel this emotion. Rowland Miller at Sam Houston University tells us, “we become embarrassed when we perceive that the social image we want to project has been undermined and that others are forming negative impressions of us.” But there is more to embarrassment.
John Sabini of the University of Pennsylvania and his colleagues found embarrassment is likely to arise when a person anticipates a disruption of smooth social interaction and/or faces a situation without clear social expectations . She is not worried about making a bad impression, but rather she does not know what to do next.
Sabini defined three kind of embarrassment:
Crina adds a fourth type, vicarious embarrassment, to this list - the feeling of being embarrassed for others.
Embarrassment serves a few important purposes. Embarrassment signals others that we know we stepped in it and these negative feelings discourage us from doing it again and encourage us to make repairs with others. It can also encourage us to prepare for a situation to avoid being embarrassed.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found people who expressed more outward signs of embarrassment while describing their embarrassing moments (such as tripping) also reported a tendency to be more "prosocial" — that is, kinder and more generous.
Researchers also found that when the study’s actor expressed embarrassment, study participants found the actor more trustworthy and wanted to affiliate with him more. Embarrassment can humanize a leader because it helps break down the barriers between team members and the leader and ultimately allows for stronger connections to form. Does the leader have some humor about her embarrassment or are they prickly and defensive about the embarrassment? A leader’s response to embarrassment can set the tone for the team.
When we think about how to respond to embarrassment, research suggests most people tend to overestimate how much others notice our embarrassment. We can help put embarrassment in context by detaching ourselves and thinking about how we would react as an observer of our embarrassing situation. It’s likely we will find grace, distance and context in that exercise.
We know embarrassment does not feel good, but it communicates we care and presents opportunities to consider our behavior and be more connected with those around us.
The Surprising Perks of Being Embarrassed
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
Countering embarrassment-avoidance by taking an observer's perspective | Motivation and Emotion
Embarrassing yourself is the key to success - well, not exactly, but there are benefits to embarrassment. In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts delve into this unusual emotion - embarrassment - hot head, panic, stomach upset, racing heart, sweating - and all of the things.
SHOW NOTES
Science tells us embarrassment is a unique emotion - unlike an emotion such as fear, we need to think before we can feel this emotion. Rowland Miller at Sam Houston University tells us, “we become embarrassed when we perceive that the social image we want to project has been undermined and that others are forming negative impressions of us.” But there is more to embarrassment.
John Sabini of the University of Pennsylvania and his colleagues found embarrassment is likely to arise when a person anticipates a disruption of smooth social interaction and/or faces a situation without clear social expectations . She is not worried about making a bad impression, but rather she does not know what to do next.
Sabini defined three kind of embarrassment:
Crina adds a fourth type, vicarious embarrassment, to this list - the feeling of being embarrassed for others.
Embarrassment serves a few important purposes. Embarrassment signals others that we know we stepped in it and these negative feelings discourage us from doing it again and encourage us to make repairs with others. It can also encourage us to prepare for a situation to avoid being embarrassed.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found people who expressed more outward signs of embarrassment while describing their embarrassing moments (such as tripping) also reported a tendency to be more "prosocial" — that is, kinder and more generous.
Researchers also found that when the study’s actor expressed embarrassment, study participants found the actor more trustworthy and wanted to affiliate with him more. Embarrassment can humanize a leader because it helps break down the barriers between team members and the leader and ultimately allows for stronger connections to form. Does the leader have some humor about her embarrassment or are they prickly and defensive about the embarrassment? A leader’s response to embarrassment can set the tone for the team.
When we think about how to respond to embarrassment, research suggests most people tend to overestimate how much others notice our embarrassment. We can help put embarrassment in context by detaching ourselves and thinking about how we would react as an observer of our embarrassing situation. It’s likely we will find grace, distance and context in that exercise.
We know embarrassment does not feel good, but it communicates we care and presents opportunities to consider our behavior and be more connected with those around us.
The Surprising Perks of Being Embarrassed
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
Countering embarrassment-avoidance by taking an observer's perspective | Motivation and Emotion
There are good reasons why women don’t speak up at work, but that silence is not serving us. When we communicate publicly, assertively and honestly for the rights and needs of ourselves and others, we’re shifting the power dynamics that have held us all back.
SHOW NOTES
First, we know that women are more likely to speak up for others than they are for themselves. We also know from the research that women are far more likely to be interrupted and talked over. A 2014 study by Harvard Business Review found that while men and women see this as a problem, men tend to attribute this to a woman’s failure to make their point in a strong, clear way - or getting rattled and allowing themself to be interrupted. Women tend to attribute this to feeling isolated and not liking conflict.
Our hosts delve deeper into what the research says about why and here is what they found:
When we do not speak up , we end up less of all the good things - physical and emotional well-being and more of what we do not want, stress and unhappiness.
There are some key times to speak up: when our boundaries are violated, when we notice someone is upset, when something goes against the rules, when we recognize danger and when no else does.
Dr. Sunita Sah at Cornell University suggests preparing to speak up can be helpful and asking for more time if you need it. Crina and Kirsten add, being clear, avoiding over-explaining, being compassionate and honoring your preferences.
The benefits of voicing your thoughts are high - more authenticity and more satisfaction. It is also critical that each of our very special and unique voices are heard.
MORE GOOD READS
Speak Up at Thanksgiving. Your Health Demands It
The Unavoidable Trap of Politeness: Why Is It So Hard to Just Say “No”? ‹ Literary Hub
Opinion: Why you find it so hard to resist taking bad advice - Los Angeles Times
Women, Find Your Voice (hbr.org)
Speaking Up for Yourself Is Important — 11 Steps to Get It Right
There are good reasons why women don’t speak up at work, but that silence is not serving us. When we communicate publicly, assertively and honestly for the rights and needs of ourselves and others, we’re shifting the power dynamics that have held us all back.
SHOW NOTES
First, we know that women are more likely to speak up for others than they are for themselves. We also know from the research that women are far more likely to be interrupted and talked over. A 2014 study by Harvard Business Review found that while men and women see this as a problem, men tend to attribute this to a woman’s failure to make their point in a strong, clear way - or getting rattled and allowing themself to be interrupted. Women tend to attribute this to feeling isolated and not liking conflict.
Our hosts delve deeper into what the research says about why and here is what they found:
When we do not speak up , we end up less of all the good things - physical and emotional well-being and more of what we do not want, stress and unhappiness.
There are some key times to speak up: when our boundaries are violated, when we notice someone is upset, when something goes against the rules, when we recognize danger and when no else does.
Dr. Sunita Sah at Cornell University suggests preparing to speak up can be helpful and asking for more time if you need it. Crina and Kirsten add, being clear, avoiding over-explaining, being compassionate and honoring your preferences.
The benefits of voicing your thoughts are high - more authenticity and more satisfaction. It is also critical that each of our very special and unique voices are heard.
MORE GOOD READS
Speak Up at Thanksgiving. Your Health Demands It
The Unavoidable Trap of Politeness: Why Is It So Hard to Just Say “No”? ‹ Literary Hub
Opinion: Why you find it so hard to resist taking bad advice - Los Angeles Times
Women, Find Your Voice (hbr.org)
Speaking Up for Yourself Is Important — 11 Steps to Get It Right
Love and work embrace as hosts Crina and Kirsten explore how to infuse our work with love. From expressing love through our tasks to cultivating a service mindset and practicing generosity, this episode serves up a recipe for success that's as fulfilling as it is rewarding. Let's bring more love into how we do our work!
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten dive into love and work, where Albert Brooks, Oprah Winfrey, Marcus Buckingham, Bob Rosen and Joe Ricciardi serve as guides to infuse our conversation about doing our work with love. Forget the notion that work and love should be kept in separate corners of our lives; we're here to blend them together like the perfect cocktail - at work! As Kahil Gibran said, “work is love made visible.” Our work is an amazing opportunity for us to express love - something we are made to do.
Our duo digs into the different flavors of workplace love. There's love of purpose, love of accomplishment, love of colleagues, and even love for ourselves. Each adds its own unique flavor to the workplace stew, creating a recipe for success that's as fulfilling as it is rewarding.
There is also the opportunity to infuse the work we do with love, which is something we do not talk about as often - how we talk with customers and clients; how we build the thing we are building at work; how we write the memos and letters and emails - with each task there is the opportunity to infuse the task with love.
How do we put this into practice? We can adopt a service mindset, practice generosity, show compassion, and create trust. And let's not forget to sprinkle gratitude on top—it's the secret ingredient that ties everything together. Expressing love in our work is a blend of these concepts.
So, as we bask in the love of Valentine's Day, let's make a pact to bring more love into how we do our work.
GOOD READS
What's Love Got to Do With Work? | Psychology Today
Marcus Buckingham: Why “Love” Is the Key to Career Success (hbr.org)
The Only Career Advice You’ll Ever Need - The Atlantic
How To Bring More Love Into Your Work - Eat Your Career
Love At Work: Here's How To Truly Show Love To Your Colleagues This Valentine's Day (forbes.com)
Love and work embrace as hosts Crina and Kirsten explore how to infuse our work with love. From expressing love through our tasks to cultivating a service mindset and practicing generosity, this episode serves up a recipe for success that's as fulfilling as it is rewarding. Let's bring more love into how we do our work!
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten dive into love and work, where Albert Brooks, Oprah Winfrey, Marcus Buckingham, Bob Rosen and Joe Ricciardi serve as guides to infuse our conversation about doing our work with love. Forget the notion that work and love should be kept in separate corners of our lives; we're here to blend them together like the perfect cocktail - at work! As Kahil Gibran said, “work is love made visible.” Our work is an amazing opportunity for us to express love - something we are made to do.
Our duo digs into the different flavors of workplace love. There's love of purpose, love of accomplishment, love of colleagues, and even love for ourselves. Each adds its own unique flavor to the workplace stew, creating a recipe for success that's as fulfilling as it is rewarding.
There is also the opportunity to infuse the work we do with love, which is something we do not talk about as often - how we talk with customers and clients; how we build the thing we are building at work; how we write the memos and letters and emails - with each task there is the opportunity to infuse the task with love.
How do we put this into practice? We can adopt a service mindset, practice generosity, show compassion, and create trust. And let's not forget to sprinkle gratitude on top—it's the secret ingredient that ties everything together. Expressing love in our work is a blend of these concepts.
So, as we bask in the love of Valentine's Day, let's make a pact to bring more love into how we do our work.
GOOD READS
What's Love Got to Do With Work? | Psychology Today
Marcus Buckingham: Why “Love” Is the Key to Career Success (hbr.org)
The Only Career Advice You’ll Ever Need - The Atlantic
How To Bring More Love Into Your Work - Eat Your Career
Love At Work: Here's How To Truly Show Love To Your Colleagues This Valentine's Day (forbes.com)
In the world of work, where productivity and success are often measured in tangible outcomes, the concept of social capital emerges as a crucial element. It goes beyond the conventional understanding of networking and friendships, delving into the interconnected networks, shared norms, and trust that form the glue holding people and organizations together. And there are chickens . . . .
Crina begins with a story about her husband, Barry, that illustrates what can be the natural and organic creation of social capital. Despite facing skepticism from some team members who deemed it a waste of time, Barry's emphasis on communication among co-workers is creating a cultural shift at his work, fostering collaboration and teamwork. This anecdote parallels a study of chickens, yes, chicken! The study reveals that individual productivity, while initially successful, ultimately hampers overall success when it comes at the cost of suppressing others and focusing on self.
Robert Putnam's research at Harvard helps us understand that social capital extends beyond the workplace, encompassing community bonds and shared values. It differs from mere friendship or networking, encompassing trust and reciprocity - and it is kind of all of those things rolled into one. Social capital is a catalyst for societal well-being, impacting employment levels, academic performance, physical health, economic growth, and even crime rates - and really impactful to teams.
Research highlights the numerous benefits of social capital in the workplace, including lower turnover, improved performance, increased knowledge transfer, innovation, and career mobility.
Social capital at work looks like giving, connecting, and valuing others' expertise without expecting immediate returns is emphasized. It's about building trust and authenticity through reliability, transparency, vulnerability, and empathy. Social capital is not a quid pro quo - or you scratch my back and I will scratch yours.
However, the downside of social capital is also acknowledged. Tight-knit networks may inadvertently exclude non-members and create conformity pressures, potentially limiting personal freedoms.
Social capital is not just a soft skill but an imperative for individuals and organizations. It involves creating a culture that values relationships, fosters trust, and recognizes the unique contributions of individuals. In the dance of productivity and success - and well being - social capital gets us a long way to creating a harmonious and thriving workplace experience.
In the world of work, where productivity and success are often measured in tangible outcomes, the concept of social capital emerges as a crucial element. It goes beyond the conventional understanding of networking and friendships, delving into the interconnected networks, shared norms, and trust that form the glue holding people and organizations together. And there are chickens . . . .
Crina begins with a story about her husband, Barry, that illustrates what can be the natural and organic creation of social capital. Despite facing skepticism from some team members who deemed it a waste of time, Barry's emphasis on communication among co-workers is creating a cultural shift at his work, fostering collaboration and teamwork. This anecdote parallels a study of chickens, yes, chicken! The study reveals that individual productivity, while initially successful, ultimately hampers overall success when it comes at the cost of suppressing others and focusing on self.
Robert Putnam's research at Harvard helps us understand that social capital extends beyond the workplace, encompassing community bonds and shared values. It differs from mere friendship or networking, encompassing trust and reciprocity - and it is kind of all of those things rolled into one. Social capital is a catalyst for societal well-being, impacting employment levels, academic performance, physical health, economic growth, and even crime rates - and really impactful to teams.
Research highlights the numerous benefits of social capital in the workplace, including lower turnover, improved performance, increased knowledge transfer, innovation, and career mobility.
Social capital at work looks like giving, connecting, and valuing others' expertise without expecting immediate returns is emphasized. It's about building trust and authenticity through reliability, transparency, vulnerability, and empathy. Social capital is not a quid pro quo - or you scratch my back and I will scratch yours.
However, the downside of social capital is also acknowledged. Tight-knit networks may inadvertently exclude non-members and create conformity pressures, potentially limiting personal freedoms.
Social capital is not just a soft skill but an imperative for individuals and organizations. It involves creating a culture that values relationships, fosters trust, and recognizes the unique contributions of individuals. In the dance of productivity and success - and well being - social capital gets us a long way to creating a harmonious and thriving workplace experience.
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts delve into the topic of “happierness” and explore the secrets to building a fulfilling life in 2024. How is that for ease, meaning and joy in 2024!! Drawing insights from renowned social scientist Arthur Brooks and the incomparable Oprah Winfrey, let’s navigate through the complexities of the human experience.
In the pursuit of “happierness,” we come to understand that happiness is not a constant state but rather a dynamic interplay of three crucial elements: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. Unlike the elusive state of perpetual happiness, happierness proves to be a more achievable and sustainable goal.
The global impact of the COVID-19 pandemic has been catastrophic for public happiness, with percentages of those happy and unhappy experiencing a dramatic shift. Long-term trends indicate a gradual decline in happiness, further exacerbated by the advent of social media, proving detrimental to overall well-being.
Contrary to popular belief, money, power, pleasure, and fame are not the key drivers of happiness. True happierness stems from faith, family, friends, and work that serves others, offering a deeper and enduring sense of fulfillment.
Breaking down the components of happiness, we discover that enjoyment is distinct from pleasure, involving shared experiences and memories that contribute to lasting joy. Satisfaction arises from the struggle and progress toward goals, requiring a delicate balance between ambition and contentment. Meaning, the understanding of one's purpose and the significance of actions, completes the trifecta.
Work, being a significant part of our lives, plays a pivotal role in happiness. The happiest workers find joy in earning their success by creating value and feel a sense of purpose by serving others. Positive relationships at work, commitment, and a genuine desire to make a difference contribute significantly to job satisfaction.
And the key to the happiness puzzle seems to be metacognition, or the ability to step back and observe one's emotions, emerges as a key to happiness. Being aware that happiness is contagious, individuals can consciously choose their emotional responses and influence their well-being positively.
Developing emotional intelligence involves tools such as journaling to improve metacognition, gratitude practices, laughter, and storytelling to create a diverse emotional bank, promoting better emotional well-being.
Choosing hope over optimism becomes a powerful strategy in the pursuit of happiness. Deep friendships, family relationships, and the ability to turn attention away from negativity contribute to a more resilient and content life.
Embark on this insightful exploration of happierness and learn how to build the life you want in 2024. Remember, happiness is not a destination but a journey of continuous growth and self-discovery.
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts delve into the topic of “happierness” and explore the secrets to building a fulfilling life in 2024. How is that for ease, meaning and joy in 2024!! Drawing insights from renowned social scientist Arthur Brooks and the incomparable Oprah Winfrey, let’s navigate through the complexities of the human experience.
In the pursuit of “happierness,” we come to understand that happiness is not a constant state but rather a dynamic interplay of three crucial elements: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. Unlike the elusive state of perpetual happiness, happierness proves to be a more achievable and sustainable goal.
The global impact of the COVID-19 pandemic has been catastrophic for public happiness, with percentages of those happy and unhappy experiencing a dramatic shift. Long-term trends indicate a gradual decline in happiness, further exacerbated by the advent of social media, proving detrimental to overall well-being.
Contrary to popular belief, money, power, pleasure, and fame are not the key drivers of happiness. True happierness stems from faith, family, friends, and work that serves others, offering a deeper and enduring sense of fulfillment.
Breaking down the components of happiness, we discover that enjoyment is distinct from pleasure, involving shared experiences and memories that contribute to lasting joy. Satisfaction arises from the struggle and progress toward goals, requiring a delicate balance between ambition and contentment. Meaning, the understanding of one's purpose and the significance of actions, completes the trifecta.
Work, being a significant part of our lives, plays a pivotal role in happiness. The happiest workers find joy in earning their success by creating value and feel a sense of purpose by serving others. Positive relationships at work, commitment, and a genuine desire to make a difference contribute significantly to job satisfaction.
And the key to the happiness puzzle seems to be metacognition, or the ability to step back and observe one's emotions, emerges as a key to happiness. Being aware that happiness is contagious, individuals can consciously choose their emotional responses and influence their well-being positively.
Developing emotional intelligence involves tools such as journaling to improve metacognition, gratitude practices, laughter, and storytelling to create a diverse emotional bank, promoting better emotional well-being.
Choosing hope over optimism becomes a powerful strategy in the pursuit of happiness. Deep friendships, family relationships, and the ability to turn attention away from negativity contribute to a more resilient and content life.
Embark on this insightful exploration of happierness and learn how to build the life you want in 2024. Remember, happiness is not a destination but a journey of continuous growth and self-discovery.
In this special New Year's episode, we reflect on the past year and discuss our plans for 2024 as we continue to pursue EASE, MEANING and JOY!
SHOW NOTES
Did you know that January 1st has been celebrated as New Year's Day since 45 B.C.? The month of January is named after Janus, the ancient Roman god symbolizing transitions and new beginnings.
Crina shares her learnings from 2024, including how to travel alone and the importance of letting go of control in her daily life. She discovered that even small changes can have a significant impact on one's life. Kirsten, on the other hand, realized that her goals were inconsistent, particularly in relation to travel, health, and savings. For the upcoming year, Kirsten plans to focus on mastering the things that have been working well for her and finding more happiness in her life. This includes refining her reactivity, exercising regularly, spending time outdoors, and nurturing her friendships.
Crina's plan for 2024 is to continue traveling as much as possible and also prepare herself for aging well physically and financially. Both of us are on this journey of self-improvement in service of ease, meaning, and joy in our lives.
In the next episode, we will discuss the importance of learning in every situation. And don't forget to stay tuned until the end for some hilarious outtakes in our blooper reel!
In this special New Year's episode, we reflect on the past year and discuss our plans for 2024 as we continue to pursue EASE, MEANING and JOY!
SHOW NOTES
Did you know that January 1st has been celebrated as New Year's Day since 45 B.C.? The month of January is named after Janus, the ancient Roman god symbolizing transitions and new beginnings.
Crina shares her learnings from 2024, including how to travel alone and the importance of letting go of control in her daily life. She discovered that even small changes can have a significant impact on one's life. Kirsten, on the other hand, realized that her goals were inconsistent, particularly in relation to travel, health, and savings. For the upcoming year, Kirsten plans to focus on mastering the things that have been working well for her and finding more happiness in her life. This includes refining her reactivity, exercising regularly, spending time outdoors, and nurturing her friendships.
Crina's plan for 2024 is to continue traveling as much as possible and also prepare herself for aging well physically and financially. Both of us are on this journey of self-improvement in service of ease, meaning, and joy in our lives.
In the next episode, we will discuss the importance of learning in every situation. And don't forget to stay tuned until the end for some hilarious outtakes in our blooper reel!
Unmasking the truth: In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, they dive deep into the importance of authenticity in the workplace. However, a shocking study reveals that more than 3 in 5 workers are hiding something about their identity from their employer, with fear of backlash and career advancement concerns being the main reasons. So, to reveal or not to reveal? That is the question.
SHOW NOTES
Authenticity is about being genuine, your original self - and there is also an element of being worthy of acceptance. Authenticity does not mean you need to share your life story or connect with everyone on a deep personal level or share every unfiltered thought or opinion you have. We know from the research that being authentic makes all things work better - engagement, performance, innovation, retention, belonging - just all of it. And according to the Harvard Business Review - it makes us more ethical. Why Authentic Workplaces Are More Ethical (hbr.org)
And, we are still hiding things at work.
A recent study by JobSage found more than 3 in 5 workers said that they are currently hiding at least one thing about their identity from their employer and 64% said that they’ve experienced backlash after revealing something about themselves, most often being treated unkindly or ignored completely. What do people hide? The top three are political views, information about their families, information about their own mental health. JobSage reported that employees hide things about themselves to avoid making people uncomfortable (49%), avoid being stereotyped (43%) and, understandably, out of fear that revelation might impact their career advancement (41%). Interestingly, men and women are almost equally likely to be hiding something from their employer (66% and 62%, respectively), but for slightly different reasons. While men don’t want to make people uncomfortable, women are more concerned about being stereotyped. A shocking 4 out of 5 employees have repressed some aspect of their identity for the sake of their career.
Some of this hiding is wise and protective. But according to Dorie Clark, author of Stand Out, there are impacts to hiding. It consumes energy, it can create the loss of confidence and increased fear, career stagnation and isolation, as well as stifling creativity. The Real Dangers of Hiding Our Whole Selves at Work: An Interview with Dorie Clark - Navalent…
Listeners, you are precious creatures - not everyone gets your preciousness - use your energy wisely - whether you reveal or not.
More good reads:
Authenticity at Work: Everything You Need to Know (betterup.com)
Re-thinking authenticity at work | LSE Business Review
Find all of our episodes (and cool pictures of Crina and Kirsten) at https://yougettowork.com/
Unmasking the truth: In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, they dive deep into the importance of authenticity in the workplace. However, a shocking study reveals that more than 3 in 5 workers are hiding something about their identity from their employer, with fear of backlash and career advancement concerns being the main reasons. So, to reveal or not to reveal? That is the question.
SHOW NOTES
Authenticity is about being genuine, your original self - and there is also an element of being worthy of acceptance. Authenticity does not mean you need to share your life story or connect with everyone on a deep personal level or share every unfiltered thought or opinion you have. We know from the research that being authentic makes all things work better - engagement, performance, innovation, retention, belonging - just all of it. And according to the Harvard Business Review - it makes us more ethical. Why Authentic Workplaces Are More Ethical (hbr.org)
And, we are still hiding things at work.
A recent study by JobSage found more than 3 in 5 workers said that they are currently hiding at least one thing about their identity from their employer and 64% said that they’ve experienced backlash after revealing something about themselves, most often being treated unkindly or ignored completely. What do people hide? The top three are political views, information about their families, information about their own mental health. JobSage reported that employees hide things about themselves to avoid making people uncomfortable (49%), avoid being stereotyped (43%) and, understandably, out of fear that revelation might impact their career advancement (41%). Interestingly, men and women are almost equally likely to be hiding something from their employer (66% and 62%, respectively), but for slightly different reasons. While men don’t want to make people uncomfortable, women are more concerned about being stereotyped. A shocking 4 out of 5 employees have repressed some aspect of their identity for the sake of their career.
Some of this hiding is wise and protective. But according to Dorie Clark, author of Stand Out, there are impacts to hiding. It consumes energy, it can create the loss of confidence and increased fear, career stagnation and isolation, as well as stifling creativity. The Real Dangers of Hiding Our Whole Selves at Work: An Interview with Dorie Clark - Navalent…
Listeners, you are precious creatures - not everyone gets your preciousness - use your energy wisely - whether you reveal or not.
More good reads:
Authenticity at Work: Everything You Need to Know (betterup.com)
Re-thinking authenticity at work | LSE Business Review
Find all of our episodes (and cool pictures of Crina and Kirsten) at https://yougettowork.com/
We are diving headlong into the topic of leadership. Grab your metaphorical popcorn; start your commute or head out the door on a walk- this one is thought provoking!
Our co-host, Crina, is on a mission because, in her words, so many people are impacted by the "people in charge." Today's episode is an exploration of leadership, exploring why it's so darn crucial in our modern jungle of responsibilities.
Newsflash from the Fortune 500 universe – it's raining women CEOs – relatively speaking anyway! In January 2023, the Fortune 500 list had a glow-up moment with more than 10% of companies now led by women. Finance, healthcare, retail – you name it, women are turning corporate landscapes into their own VIP parties.
Leadership is a dance of focus, influence, perspective, and emotional connections. According to the leadership maestros, Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall, the secret sauce is meeting the "we" and the "I" needs of your team.
But how do we get that secret sauce of the “I” and the “we?” Project Aristotle, actually a deep look by Google on what makes better teams, reveals the magical ingredients, from creating psychological safety (no public shaming, please) to modeling dependability and providing crystal-clear structures. The societal expectations we women often wrestle with? Turns out, those are the very things making women fantastic leaders. Decades of psychological research agree; when women lead, magic happens. Dr. Alice Eagly's studies reveal that women make better leaders, with a dash of transformational leadership and out-of-the-box thinking.
We know leadership can be stressful and University of Southern California research finds that women make better decisions than men when under stress. Ladies, our brains are like stress-proof shields, managing cortisol like wizards handling wands.
Women leaders make work better. Women leaders aren't just breaking glass ceilings; they're transforming the leadership landscape into a place where there is more ease, meaning and joy.
Find all of our episodes at https://yougettowork.com/
We are diving headlong into the topic of leadership. Grab your metaphorical popcorn; start your commute or head out the door on a walk- this one is thought provoking!
Our co-host, Crina, is on a mission because, in her words, so many people are impacted by the "people in charge." Today's episode is an exploration of leadership, exploring why it's so darn crucial in our modern jungle of responsibilities.
Newsflash from the Fortune 500 universe – it's raining women CEOs – relatively speaking anyway! In January 2023, the Fortune 500 list had a glow-up moment with more than 10% of companies now led by women. Finance, healthcare, retail – you name it, women are turning corporate landscapes into their own VIP parties.
Leadership is a dance of focus, influence, perspective, and emotional connections. According to the leadership maestros, Marcus Buckingham and Ashley Goodall, the secret sauce is meeting the "we" and the "I" needs of your team.
But how do we get that secret sauce of the “I” and the “we?” Project Aristotle, actually a deep look by Google on what makes better teams, reveals the magical ingredients, from creating psychological safety (no public shaming, please) to modeling dependability and providing crystal-clear structures. The societal expectations we women often wrestle with? Turns out, those are the very things making women fantastic leaders. Decades of psychological research agree; when women lead, magic happens. Dr. Alice Eagly's studies reveal that women make better leaders, with a dash of transformational leadership and out-of-the-box thinking.
We know leadership can be stressful and University of Southern California research finds that women make better decisions than men when under stress. Ladies, our brains are like stress-proof shields, managing cortisol like wizards handling wands.
Women leaders make work better. Women leaders aren't just breaking glass ceilings; they're transforming the leadership landscape into a place where there is more ease, meaning and joy.
Find all of our episodes at https://yougettowork.com/
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, get ready to dive deep into the world of artificial intelligence! We're here to get you psyched about the endless possibilities AI brings.
But hold on, before we can fully embrace AI, there are a few things standing in our way. Maybe it's our lack of awareness or understanding that's holding us back. Or perhaps it's concerns about privacy and security. And let's not forget those resistant-to-change folks out there. But hey, just like any other skill, we can overcome these obstacles with a little practice and training.
Here's some mind-blowing news for you: a recent Goldman Sachs report reveals that generative AI could impact a whopping 300 million jobs every year across various industries. We're talking healthcare, education, social work, finance, law - you name it! That's HUGE.
But guess what? AI isn't just a game-changer for everyone; it's a game-changer for women too. From inclusive hiring practices to learning platforms for skill development, remote work support, and empowering women entrepreneurs - AI has their back.
Now, we can't ignore the potential downsides either. If AI is trained on biased data or designed without considering equality, it could perpetuate gender bias. That means discrimination and inequality might become part of AI's programming. And who knows, AI might even snatch jobs traditionally held by women.
All that being said, AI can also be a whole lot of fun! So why not give it a shot? Sign up for ChatGPT, Bard, Copilot, or Bing and let your imagination run wild. Write a letter, plan an office party, or even whip up a killer job description with the help of AI. The possibilities are endless!
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, get ready to dive deep into the world of artificial intelligence! We're here to get you psyched about the endless possibilities AI brings.
But hold on, before we can fully embrace AI, there are a few things standing in our way. Maybe it's our lack of awareness or understanding that's holding us back. Or perhaps it's concerns about privacy and security. And let's not forget those resistant-to-change folks out there. But hey, just like any other skill, we can overcome these obstacles with a little practice and training.
Here's some mind-blowing news for you: a recent Goldman Sachs report reveals that generative AI could impact a whopping 300 million jobs every year across various industries. We're talking healthcare, education, social work, finance, law - you name it! That's HUGE.
But guess what? AI isn't just a game-changer for everyone; it's a game-changer for women too. From inclusive hiring practices to learning platforms for skill development, remote work support, and empowering women entrepreneurs - AI has their back.
Now, we can't ignore the potential downsides either. If AI is trained on biased data or designed without considering equality, it could perpetuate gender bias. That means discrimination and inequality might become part of AI's programming. And who knows, AI might even snatch jobs traditionally held by women.
All that being said, AI can also be a whole lot of fun! So why not give it a shot? Sign up for ChatGPT, Bard, Copilot, or Bing and let your imagination run wild. Write a letter, plan an office party, or even whip up a killer job description with the help of AI. The possibilities are endless!
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts dish on workplace spouses - but hold tight because, as usual, they have some opinions on workplace romance they need to get out there first!
The origin of the term “work wife” is from 19th century UK and was first used to describe a very close and aligned working relationship between a government minister and his male secretary. The term then went on to describe female assistants as work wives - taking care of the male bosses personal needs at work. We have moved away from this - thankfully!
Today the term workplace spouse describes someone at work who is a gender to which we are attracted and with whom we share something of an exclusive, intimate, nonsexual bond with at work. We need to take care with labels as what we call something can be self-fulfilling. Simply Hired reports that half of women and 45% of men report having a work spouse at work and a significant percentage of these folks feel sexual attraction to each other. In a time where we recognize the benefits of keeping sex out of the workplace, why do we continue to sexualize people who are really friends - let’s just have more friends.
Listen as Crina and Kirsten take issue with sexualization of the workplace - and advocate for workplace friends.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts dish on workplace spouses - but hold tight because, as usual, they have some opinions on workplace romance they need to get out there first!
The origin of the term “work wife” is from 19th century UK and was first used to describe a very close and aligned working relationship between a government minister and his male secretary. The term then went on to describe female assistants as work wives - taking care of the male bosses personal needs at work. We have moved away from this - thankfully!
Today the term workplace spouse describes someone at work who is a gender to which we are attracted and with whom we share something of an exclusive, intimate, nonsexual bond with at work. We need to take care with labels as what we call something can be self-fulfilling. Simply Hired reports that half of women and 45% of men report having a work spouse at work and a significant percentage of these folks feel sexual attraction to each other. In a time where we recognize the benefits of keeping sex out of the workplace, why do we continue to sexualize people who are really friends - let’s just have more friends.
Listen as Crina and Kirsten take issue with sexualization of the workplace - and advocate for workplace friends.
Why vote - in part to elect more women. The research shows that the kind of legislation and policies women sponsor, advocate for and support make a meaningful difference to the experience of women at work and in the community in general.
The state of the world and participation in the executive and legislative parts of government remains unequal. There are 195 countries in the world and only 26 countries have women heads of state - and the US is not one of those countries. Only 6 countries in the world have reached gender parity in their legislative branches of government - and the US is not one of those countries. Facts and figures: Women’s leadership and political participation | UN Women – Headquarters.
When women are able to gain access to these roles activities the government engages in change. For example, In India, local jurisdictions with women-led councils are more likely to have a clean drinking water project as compared to male-led councils. Women are also more likely to champion issues of gender equality, such as the elimination of gender-based violence, parental leave and childcare, pensions, gender-equality laws, and electoral reform.
As the National League of Women Voters tells us - EVERY VOTE COUNTS. So get informed and vote - you can change the trajectory of women’s experience at work and in our communities.
Why vote - in part to elect more women. The research shows that the kind of legislation and policies women sponsor, advocate for and support make a meaningful difference to the experience of women at work and in the community in general.
The state of the world and participation in the executive and legislative parts of government remains unequal. There are 195 countries in the world and only 26 countries have women heads of state - and the US is not one of those countries. Only 6 countries in the world have reached gender parity in their legislative branches of government - and the US is not one of those countries. Facts and figures: Women’s leadership and political participation | UN Women – Headquarters.
When women are able to gain access to these roles activities the government engages in change. For example, In India, local jurisdictions with women-led councils are more likely to have a clean drinking water project as compared to male-led councils. Women are also more likely to champion issues of gender equality, such as the elimination of gender-based violence, parental leave and childcare, pensions, gender-equality laws, and electoral reform.
As the National League of Women Voters tells us - EVERY VOTE COUNTS. So get informed and vote - you can change the trajectory of women’s experience at work and in our communities.
Get ready for us to take off the gloves and go at it with female rivalry in the workplace.
SHOW NOTES
Female rivalry is something that has been identified as keeping and holding women back from success in the workplace - and from equity, which is another one of those messages to us that our lack of equality in the workplace is our own fault - because we are catty and mean.
A large meta-study in the Journal of Organizational Behavior found the research on this topic is conflicted and concluded that the studies thus far on this issue have been inadequate to reach a real conclusion.
There appear to be two competing perspectives on this issue – one is that women compare, compete and undermine each other; while the other is that women support and cooperate with each other. What our hosts believe is that female rivalry as something in itself does not exist and rather when it exists it is the product of a biased and dysfunctional system.
Let’s start with bias. Women are expected to be communal and collaborative and supportive in the workplace. However, the workplace also expects us to compete for influence, promotions, and power. When woman act in opposite of the expectations around the “nice” behavior and engage in the competitive behavior, they are more harshly judged than their male counterparts. This is yet another situation where the same behavior is differently judged based on gender. As Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant write “[w]omen aren't any meaner to women than men are to one another. Women are just expected to be nicer. We stereotype men as aggressive and women as kind. When women violate these stereotypes, we judge them harshly."
What the research does say is the fewer opportunities there are for women, the more likely women are to report female rivalry. When there are fewer opportunities for women, there is often something wrong or dysfunctional about the system, which results in dysfunctional behavior from women. This is not to say queen bees do not exist – just like men – but it is to say women are more harshly judged for it and tit is more likely to occur in an environment when there are fewer opportunities for women.
More good reads:
Opinion | Sheryl Sandberg on the Myth of the Catty Woman - The New York Times
What everybody needs to know about female rivalry in the workplace - AB Media & Communication
Get ready for us to take off the gloves and go at it with female rivalry in the workplace.
SHOW NOTES
Female rivalry is something that has been identified as keeping and holding women back from success in the workplace - and from equity, which is another one of those messages to us that our lack of equality in the workplace is our own fault - because we are catty and mean.
A large meta-study in the Journal of Organizational Behavior found the research on this topic is conflicted and concluded that the studies thus far on this issue have been inadequate to reach a real conclusion.
There appear to be two competing perspectives on this issue – one is that women compare, compete and undermine each other; while the other is that women support and cooperate with each other. What our hosts believe is that female rivalry as something in itself does not exist and rather when it exists it is the product of a biased and dysfunctional system.
Let’s start with bias. Women are expected to be communal and collaborative and supportive in the workplace. However, the workplace also expects us to compete for influence, promotions, and power. When woman act in opposite of the expectations around the “nice” behavior and engage in the competitive behavior, they are more harshly judged than their male counterparts. This is yet another situation where the same behavior is differently judged based on gender. As Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant write “[w]omen aren't any meaner to women than men are to one another. Women are just expected to be nicer. We stereotype men as aggressive and women as kind. When women violate these stereotypes, we judge them harshly."
What the research does say is the fewer opportunities there are for women, the more likely women are to report female rivalry. When there are fewer opportunities for women, there is often something wrong or dysfunctional about the system, which results in dysfunctional behavior from women. This is not to say queen bees do not exist – just like men – but it is to say women are more harshly judged for it and tit is more likely to occur in an environment when there are fewer opportunities for women.
More good reads:
Opinion | Sheryl Sandberg on the Myth of the Catty Woman - The New York Times
What everybody needs to know about female rivalry in the workplace - AB Media & Communication
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts reconsider a fundamental part of this podcast and our experiences at work – meaning. Meaning is the why of what we do, the significance of our work, the point, what makes what we do worthwhile – big stuff.
Research shows that meaningfulness is more important to us than any other aspect of our jobs — including pay and rewards, opportunities for promotion, and working conditions. When we experience our work as meaningful, we’re more engaged, committed, and satisfied. Meaningful Work | Michael F. Steger.
When we experience meaning at work, our performance it better, we are more loyal, our jobs become more dear to us to such an extent that we are willing to give up money, we are more engaged, our attendance is better, we are more likely to be promoted and we experience more well-being, 7 Surprising Benefits of Doing Meaningful Work.
Leaders have a significant role in creating meaning at work for those they lead. Leaders who are able to communicate the work’s greater impact, recognize and nurture potential, articulate values and act on those values with their own personal integrity and give employee’s some freedom and autonomy in their work are more like to have employees articulate their work is meaningful. 7 Surprising Benefits of Doing Meaningful Work.
As individual women at work, we can experience more meaning in our work by being more mindful and aware- of both ourselves and others. As we are more aware of our environment, we are better in our daily interactions and able to see and articulate what we need and be more aware of what our co-workers need. As we are more mindful and aware, we are more creative in our solutions to problems, and as we solve problems, we experience more meaning. What Makes Work Meaningful?
Meaning may be the most important element of workplace satisfaction. It can turn the mundane into the magical.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts reconsider a fundamental part of this podcast and our experiences at work – meaning. Meaning is the why of what we do, the significance of our work, the point, what makes what we do worthwhile – big stuff.
Research shows that meaningfulness is more important to us than any other aspect of our jobs — including pay and rewards, opportunities for promotion, and working conditions. When we experience our work as meaningful, we’re more engaged, committed, and satisfied. Meaningful Work | Michael F. Steger.
When we experience meaning at work, our performance it better, we are more loyal, our jobs become more dear to us to such an extent that we are willing to give up money, we are more engaged, our attendance is better, we are more likely to be promoted and we experience more well-being, 7 Surprising Benefits of Doing Meaningful Work.
Leaders have a significant role in creating meaning at work for those they lead. Leaders who are able to communicate the work’s greater impact, recognize and nurture potential, articulate values and act on those values with their own personal integrity and give employee’s some freedom and autonomy in their work are more like to have employees articulate their work is meaningful. 7 Surprising Benefits of Doing Meaningful Work.
As individual women at work, we can experience more meaning in our work by being more mindful and aware- of both ourselves and others. As we are more aware of our environment, we are better in our daily interactions and able to see and articulate what we need and be more aware of what our co-workers need. As we are more mindful and aware, we are more creative in our solutions to problems, and as we solve problems, we experience more meaning. What Makes Work Meaningful?
Meaning may be the most important element of workplace satisfaction. It can turn the mundane into the magical.
You need play, you are never too old for play, play is fun - and play at work makes work so much better. Bring on the joy!
What is play? It is an in the moment activity with the goal of amusement or fun. Our mammalian brains love play. The bigger the brain in an animal, the more play the animal seems to engage in. This is because play is how we learn and explore the world - and mammalian brains have made this activity feel good so that we are motivated to do it. In one study of play in bears, bears who played more were more likely to survive.
But what about play at work? Research has found evidence that play at work is linked with less fatigue, boredom, stress, and burnout in individual workers. Play is also positively associated with job satisfaction, sense of competence, and creativity.
Studies show that when a participant receives a task that is presented playfully, they are more involved and spend more time on the task. It also improves our emotional, attitudinal, cognitive being. Teams of workers can benefit from play via increased trust, bonding and social interaction, sense of solidarity, and a decreased sense of hierarchy.
Furthermore, findings suggest that play at work can benefit whole organizations by creating a friendlier work atmosphere, higher employee commitment to work, more flexible organization-wide decision making, and increased organizational creativity. WOW!
As we mature, we develop a style or mode in which we are most comfortable being playful. Dr. Stuart Brown, author and founder of the National Institute of Play, calls these styles of playfulness, “play personalities.” These are not based on scientific data, rather Dr. Brown discerned them from thousands of interviews and observations:
Connector, Joker, Kinesthete, Explorer, Competitor, Director, Collector, Artist/Creator, Storyteller, and Connector.
Which play personalities speak to you?
Read more at:
How to Have Fun at Work Science of People
Cultivating a sense of playfulness at work and in life
Forced Fun Sucks - So Why Do Organizations Keep Doing It?
Everything You Wanted To Know About Play At Work (But Were Afraid To Ask)
You need play, you are never too old for play, play is fun - and play at work makes work so much better. Bring on the joy!
What is play? It is an in the moment activity with the goal of amusement or fun. Our mammalian brains love play. The bigger the brain in an animal, the more play the animal seems to engage in. This is because play is how we learn and explore the world - and mammalian brains have made this activity feel good so that we are motivated to do it. In one study of play in bears, bears who played more were more likely to survive.
But what about play at work? Research has found evidence that play at work is linked with less fatigue, boredom, stress, and burnout in individual workers. Play is also positively associated with job satisfaction, sense of competence, and creativity.
Studies show that when a participant receives a task that is presented playfully, they are more involved and spend more time on the task. It also improves our emotional, attitudinal, cognitive being. Teams of workers can benefit from play via increased trust, bonding and social interaction, sense of solidarity, and a decreased sense of hierarchy.
Furthermore, findings suggest that play at work can benefit whole organizations by creating a friendlier work atmosphere, higher employee commitment to work, more flexible organization-wide decision making, and increased organizational creativity. WOW!
As we mature, we develop a style or mode in which we are most comfortable being playful. Dr. Stuart Brown, author and founder of the National Institute of Play, calls these styles of playfulness, “play personalities.” These are not based on scientific data, rather Dr. Brown discerned them from thousands of interviews and observations:
Connector, Joker, Kinesthete, Explorer, Competitor, Director, Collector, Artist/Creator, Storyteller, and Connector.
Which play personalities speak to you?
Read more at:
How to Have Fun at Work Science of People
Cultivating a sense of playfulness at work and in life
Forced Fun Sucks - So Why Do Organizations Keep Doing It?
Everything You Wanted To Know About Play At Work (But Were Afraid To Ask)
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts reset the state of women at work after a restful and relaxing hiatus.
Joan Williams and her daughter Rachel Dempsey, wrote What Works for Women at Work. Joan has decades of experience as a law professor and she runs a project focused primarily on women at work called Work Life Law at Hastings Law School. Rachel is a journalist.
The authors have characterized womens’ experiences at work into four patterns:
Prove it Again stems from assumptions about how women will behave at work. This pattern looks like being penalized for mistakes that men make with little or no consequence; having to defend your decision or back it up with data, even if you are a seasoned professional; and the “stolen idea.”
The Tightrope stems for the precarious balance women are expected to strike between masculinity and femininity. This pattern looks like being “too much” or “not enough”, being either a bitch or a doormat; and being pressed into traditionally feminine roles, such as taking notes.
The Maternal Wall stems from the strong negative competence and commitment associations triggered by motherhood and prescriptive bias (mothers should be at home). Joan and Rachel say “the ideal worker is expected to be unreservedly devoted to work, while the ideal mother is expected to invest similar levels of devotion to her children. As a result motherhood is perceived as incompatible with high levels of work effort.” This pattern looks like not getting hired or promoted because of the assumptions others make about the obligations of motherhood.
The Tug of War stems from women working in what is a dysfunctional system. Rather than supporting each other, we can pit ourselves against one another, we can also buy into male norms. Sometimes our different strategies to deal with a dysfunctional system pit us against each other.
Joan and Rachel remind us of a few important premises when we consider these four patterns:
The book is full of strategies to address the four patterns and a chapter on lessons learned from the research.
Joan’s Work LIfe Law institute has developed what they refer to as bias interrupters, which are assessments and training to address the bias which is the root of the four patterns. Check out Bias Interrupters on the Work Like Law website.
Joan and Rachel’s book is a comprehensive look at women’s experience at work. They remind us what we experience is real, they help us to clearly define that experience and they provide excellent strategies, tools, lessons and stories for us to best manage that experience.
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts reset the state of women at work after a restful and relaxing hiatus.
Joan Williams and her daughter Rachel Dempsey, wrote What Works for Women at Work. Joan has decades of experience as a law professor and she runs a project focused primarily on women at work called Work Life Law at Hastings Law School. Rachel is a journalist.
The authors have characterized womens’ experiences at work into four patterns:
Prove it Again stems from assumptions about how women will behave at work. This pattern looks like being penalized for mistakes that men make with little or no consequence; having to defend your decision or back it up with data, even if you are a seasoned professional; and the “stolen idea.”
The Tightrope stems for the precarious balance women are expected to strike between masculinity and femininity. This pattern looks like being “too much” or “not enough”, being either a bitch or a doormat; and being pressed into traditionally feminine roles, such as taking notes.
The Maternal Wall stems from the strong negative competence and commitment associations triggered by motherhood and prescriptive bias (mothers should be at home). Joan and Rachel say “the ideal worker is expected to be unreservedly devoted to work, while the ideal mother is expected to invest similar levels of devotion to her children. As a result motherhood is perceived as incompatible with high levels of work effort.” This pattern looks like not getting hired or promoted because of the assumptions others make about the obligations of motherhood.
The Tug of War stems from women working in what is a dysfunctional system. Rather than supporting each other, we can pit ourselves against one another, we can also buy into male norms. Sometimes our different strategies to deal with a dysfunctional system pit us against each other.
Joan and Rachel remind us of a few important premises when we consider these four patterns:
The book is full of strategies to address the four patterns and a chapter on lessons learned from the research.
Joan’s Work LIfe Law institute has developed what they refer to as bias interrupters, which are assessments and training to address the bias which is the root of the four patterns. Check out Bias Interrupters on the Work Like Law website.
Joan and Rachel’s book is a comprehensive look at women’s experience at work. They remind us what we experience is real, they help us to clearly define that experience and they provide excellent strategies, tools, lessons and stories for us to best manage that experience.
A key to time management is learning how to say, “no.” Join us in this final rerun of the summer and revisit time management, how your values dictate your priorities, and when to say, “no”.
A key to time management is learning how to say, “no.” Join us in this final rerun of the summer and revisit time management, how your values dictate your priorities, and when to say, “no”.
We know you will enjoy the chance to revisit this important topic as part of our summer focus on rest, relaxation and vacations! As a reminder...Our minds and bodies need rest from things like mental stimulation, social encounters, creative endeavors and emotional outputs. Taking time to truly rest your mind, body and soul is the ultimate self care regiment and a direct line to ease, meaning and joy at work, and in life!
SHOW NOTES
Why do We Working Women Need Rest?
According to Saundra Dalton-Smith in The 7 Types of Rest that Every Person Needs, “[w]ithout attention to rest, we are creating a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and chronically burned-out individuals.” According to psych central, 70 percent of visits to the doctor are due to stress-related health issues. “Rest is the only way to engage the part of our nervous system that allows for relaxation.” It is literally vital for our physical and mental health.” The 7 types of rest that every person needs | (ted.com)
What Does the Data Say about the Effectiveness of Rest?
Researchers at Stanford did a series of experiments looking at the effects of walking on creativity, as measured by a test of divergent thinking—which asked people to come up with novel ways of using an everyday item, like a brick or a doorstop. The researchers compared participants’ performance under four conditions: while walking on a treadmill, while seated inside, while walking outside, or while being wheeled outside in a wheelchair. Their results showed that walking and being outside each separately led to better performance on the test. Moreover, in one experiment, the researchers showed that the benefits of walking on creativity did not fade immediately, but carried over into performance on future tests. ”https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_resting_more_can_boost_your_productivity
The company Basecamp added another day to the weekend and found productivity unchanged. Workers got done in 4 days what had taken 5. 8 Minute Read Why Restorative Rest Makes You More Productive And How To Achieve It
How Do We Achieve the Restorative Rest
Whether you schedule a walk with a friend (or by yourself), commit to get up from your desk once every hour to get a glass of water, meditate for 10 minutes before you start your day or book your solo vacation - get it on your schedule!
If you want to restore your creative energy - get inspired by listening to music, getting outside in nature, watching the sunset or enjoying beautiful art. If you want to restore your physical energy, sleep - of course, but also just sitting. If you find yourself irritable and unable to concentrate, you may have expended too much mental energy - which is classic Kirsten. Schedule a time to take a breath. Crina schedules lunch and commits to healthy, nutritious food and it is an anchor in her day and restorative in many ways. If you are on sensory overload - turn everything off and shut your eyes - just for 10 deep breaths - and avoid going home and turning the tv on - find some quiet. Emotional energy is complicated - are you holding others emotions or has life just sent you on an emotional roller-coaster? Identify what you need - maybe you need to authentically express your emotions in a safe place or to wrap a metaphorical quilt around your tender soul? Social rest is an obvious one for those of us who are introverts - we need time to ourselves, and so do those of us who are extroverts - we just tend to need less of it and sometimes not realize it. Spiritual rest is the energy to find deep meaning, a sense of purpose and belonging and love. When those things are missing from our lives, it may be time to up our spiritual energy quotient. It could be faith or religion, but Dalton-Smith suggests that you can cultivate a sense of purpose with music, uplifting and inspiring videos, focusing on the magical - such as the bloom of a flower or dew on a leaf - and then going back to these moments when you feel disconnected.
Check out Dalton-Smith’s article above - it is a rich trove of ideas and the inspiration for this show.
We know you will enjoy the chance to revisit this important topic as part of our summer focus on rest, relaxation and vacations! As a reminder...Our minds and bodies need rest from things like mental stimulation, social encounters, creative endeavors and emotional outputs. Taking time to truly rest your mind, body and soul is the ultimate self care regiment and a direct line to ease, meaning and joy at work, and in life!
SHOW NOTES
Why do We Working Women Need Rest?
According to Saundra Dalton-Smith in The 7 Types of Rest that Every Person Needs, “[w]ithout attention to rest, we are creating a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and chronically burned-out individuals.” According to psych central, 70 percent of visits to the doctor are due to stress-related health issues. “Rest is the only way to engage the part of our nervous system that allows for relaxation.” It is literally vital for our physical and mental health.” The 7 types of rest that every person needs | (ted.com)
What Does the Data Say about the Effectiveness of Rest?
Researchers at Stanford did a series of experiments looking at the effects of walking on creativity, as measured by a test of divergent thinking—which asked people to come up with novel ways of using an everyday item, like a brick or a doorstop. The researchers compared participants’ performance under four conditions: while walking on a treadmill, while seated inside, while walking outside, or while being wheeled outside in a wheelchair. Their results showed that walking and being outside each separately led to better performance on the test. Moreover, in one experiment, the researchers showed that the benefits of walking on creativity did not fade immediately, but carried over into performance on future tests. ”https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_resting_more_can_boost_your_productivity
The company Basecamp added another day to the weekend and found productivity unchanged. Workers got done in 4 days what had taken 5. 8 Minute Read Why Restorative Rest Makes You More Productive And How To Achieve It
How Do We Achieve the Restorative Rest
Whether you schedule a walk with a friend (or by yourself), commit to get up from your desk once every hour to get a glass of water, meditate for 10 minutes before you start your day or book your solo vacation - get it on your schedule!
If you want to restore your creative energy - get inspired by listening to music, getting outside in nature, watching the sunset or enjoying beautiful art. If you want to restore your physical energy, sleep - of course, but also just sitting. If you find yourself irritable and unable to concentrate, you may have expended too much mental energy - which is classic Kirsten. Schedule a time to take a breath. Crina schedules lunch and commits to healthy, nutritious food and it is an anchor in her day and restorative in many ways. If you are on sensory overload - turn everything off and shut your eyes - just for 10 deep breaths - and avoid going home and turning the tv on - find some quiet. Emotional energy is complicated - are you holding others emotions or has life just sent you on an emotional roller-coaster? Identify what you need - maybe you need to authentically express your emotions in a safe place or to wrap a metaphorical quilt around your tender soul? Social rest is an obvious one for those of us who are introverts - we need time to ourselves, and so do those of us who are extroverts - we just tend to need less of it and sometimes not realize it. Spiritual rest is the energy to find deep meaning, a sense of purpose and belonging and love. When those things are missing from our lives, it may be time to up our spiritual energy quotient. It could be faith or religion, but Dalton-Smith suggests that you can cultivate a sense of purpose with music, uplifting and inspiring videos, focusing on the magical - such as the bloom of a flower or dew on a leaf - and then going back to these moments when you feel disconnected.
Check out Dalton-Smith’s article above - it is a rich trove of ideas and the inspiration for this show.
Caring for yourself is not self-indulgent, it's essential to your well-being. Regardless of what you're told by the patriarchy, self-care is a way of life, not a product you can buy.Lets all remember the quote from poet and writer Audre Lord who writes, “Caring for myself is not self- indulgence. It is self preservation, and this is an act of political warfare.”
Crina and Kirsten talk about self-care from the Audre Lorde perspective. Not as a massage or a bottle of fancy bath bubbles, but as actions that put our needs before those of others to create practices that are restorative. Crina and Kirsten discuss their own restorative practices and how to create those so that you can bring your best self to all things, including your work.
GOOD READS
Caring for yourself is not self-indulgent, it's essential to your well-being. Regardless of what you're told by the patriarchy, self-care is a way of life, not a product you can buy.Lets all remember the quote from poet and writer Audre Lord who writes, “Caring for myself is not self- indulgence. It is self preservation, and this is an act of political warfare.”
Crina and Kirsten talk about self-care from the Audre Lorde perspective. Not as a massage or a bottle of fancy bath bubbles, but as actions that put our needs before those of others to create practices that are restorative. Crina and Kirsten discuss their own restorative practices and how to create those so that you can bring your best self to all things, including your work.
GOOD READS
Burnout is still an issue for so many of our listeners. In fact burnout is so pervasive that over seventy-five percent of the workforce is currently, or has previously experienced it. As a refresher, it feels like depletion, exhaustion, disconnection, negative emotions and reduced capacity...sound familiar? You’re not alone!
SHOW NOTES
Burnout is a real diagnosis - and defined as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed” by the World Health Organization. This relatively new diagnosis is defined as a “syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”
Christina Maslach (creator of the Maslach Burnout Inventory) first identified the syndrome - and it came out of her work with healthcare workers and their families. Here are her inventory questions:
Does it sound like you? If you are like most of us - yes, at least some teimes.
How does this happen? When we carry too much for too long and cannot effectively process our emotions, our neurological system gets overloaded - and we are unable to effectively deal with this overload.
Who does this happen to? Well, all of us, but those of us that are anxious or have a low self esteem or poor boundaries are thought to be more likely to suffer burnout, according to a study of Spanish nurses. According to authors Rachel Montane and Erika Pryor, women of color also carry the emotional burden of discrimination, fear of retaliation - and of course much of the emotional labor of diversity in the workplace..
Employers contribute to burnout by unfair treatment, an unmanageable workload, unrealistic deadlines, poor communication and a lack of support.
Enter Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout, who just happen to be identical twins. They have concluded, based on their research, that the key to preventing burnout is to manage the emotions you are having so that we do not become emotionally exhausted. They encourage us to process the emotion - actually turn towards it, and feel it. Scary!! But we can do it.
Here are the twins’ suggestions to deal with, process and get on the other side of our emotions.
The key is to send our body a signal that the danger is over, we are safe. And how do we know our emotions have been processed and we are “done?” The twin doctors promise your body will tell you.
Be aware of your depletion clues. Are you sleeping well and enough? Are you engaging in activities where you do not think of work? Are you taking breaks at work? Do you have work-life boundaries?
The solution to burnout is actually more than self-care. It is more about managing emotions.
While burnout is prevalent, there are things we can do to recognize our vulnerability, determine whether it is happening to us and work to relieve that chronic stress through the processing of emotions.
More good reads:
How to Recover From Burnout & Love Work Again According to Science
How to Eliminate Burnout and Retain Top Talent
Burnout is still an issue for so many of our listeners. In fact burnout is so pervasive that over seventy-five percent of the workforce is currently, or has previously experienced it. As a refresher, it feels like depletion, exhaustion, disconnection, negative emotions and reduced capacity...sound familiar? You’re not alone!
SHOW NOTES
Burnout is a real diagnosis - and defined as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed” by the World Health Organization. This relatively new diagnosis is defined as a “syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”
Christina Maslach (creator of the Maslach Burnout Inventory) first identified the syndrome - and it came out of her work with healthcare workers and their families. Here are her inventory questions:
Does it sound like you? If you are like most of us - yes, at least some teimes.
How does this happen? When we carry too much for too long and cannot effectively process our emotions, our neurological system gets overloaded - and we are unable to effectively deal with this overload.
Who does this happen to? Well, all of us, but those of us that are anxious or have a low self esteem or poor boundaries are thought to be more likely to suffer burnout, according to a study of Spanish nurses. According to authors Rachel Montane and Erika Pryor, women of color also carry the emotional burden of discrimination, fear of retaliation - and of course much of the emotional labor of diversity in the workplace..
Employers contribute to burnout by unfair treatment, an unmanageable workload, unrealistic deadlines, poor communication and a lack of support.
Enter Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout, who just happen to be identical twins. They have concluded, based on their research, that the key to preventing burnout is to manage the emotions you are having so that we do not become emotionally exhausted. They encourage us to process the emotion - actually turn towards it, and feel it. Scary!! But we can do it.
Here are the twins’ suggestions to deal with, process and get on the other side of our emotions.
The key is to send our body a signal that the danger is over, we are safe. And how do we know our emotions have been processed and we are “done?” The twin doctors promise your body will tell you.
Be aware of your depletion clues. Are you sleeping well and enough? Are you engaging in activities where you do not think of work? Are you taking breaks at work? Do you have work-life boundaries?
The solution to burnout is actually more than self-care. It is more about managing emotions.
While burnout is prevalent, there are things we can do to recognize our vulnerability, determine whether it is happening to us and work to relieve that chronic stress through the processing of emotions.
More good reads:
How to Recover From Burnout & Love Work Again According to Science
How to Eliminate Burnout and Retain Top Talent
Crina and Kirsten are on summer break and recommend revisiting one of their favorite episodes: “You Need More Vacations.” Follow their lead, take another listen and plan some refreshing, rejuvenating, reviving, restoring and revitalizing time away from work. Enjoy!
SHOW NOTES
Before our hosts take off on the vacation topic, they consider the advantages of shorter, yet still meaningful breaks in your day. Crina talks about her time with trees, and as usual, Kirsten has her head in a book called Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday, which discusses the benefits of space to your intellectual, physical and spiritual well-being.
The data about vacations very clearly tells us that vacations increase productivity and satisfaction in the workplace. In fact, studies show that even planning your vacation can lift your spirits. And, just an additional 10 hours of vacation can improve performance according to a study by Ernst & Young.
Too many people let cost, pets, concern about work coverage, too much work, fear of being gone from work or home get in the way of what is an uplifting and rejuvenating experience, including the 52% of Americans who do not use all of their vacation. WHAT??!!
Our host end this show with some tips about how to make getting out of and coming back to the workplace easier, a discussion about whether you work while you are on vacation (mostly no) and how to make the most of your time away. So get out there and enjoy!
GOOD READS
5 reasons you need to take a vacation according to science.
Opinion | Relax! You'll Be More Productive
Why You Need to Take a Vacation (Even When You Can't Afford One)
Crina and Kirsten are on summer break and recommend revisiting one of their favorite episodes: “You Need More Vacations.” Follow their lead, take another listen and plan some refreshing, rejuvenating, reviving, restoring and revitalizing time away from work. Enjoy!
SHOW NOTES
Before our hosts take off on the vacation topic, they consider the advantages of shorter, yet still meaningful breaks in your day. Crina talks about her time with trees, and as usual, Kirsten has her head in a book called Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday, which discusses the benefits of space to your intellectual, physical and spiritual well-being.
The data about vacations very clearly tells us that vacations increase productivity and satisfaction in the workplace. In fact, studies show that even planning your vacation can lift your spirits. And, just an additional 10 hours of vacation can improve performance according to a study by Ernst & Young.
Too many people let cost, pets, concern about work coverage, too much work, fear of being gone from work or home get in the way of what is an uplifting and rejuvenating experience, including the 52% of Americans who do not use all of their vacation. WHAT??!!
Our host end this show with some tips about how to make getting out of and coming back to the workplace easier, a discussion about whether you work while you are on vacation (mostly no) and how to make the most of your time away. So get out there and enjoy!
GOOD READS
5 reasons you need to take a vacation according to science.
Opinion | Relax! You'll Be More Productive
Why You Need to Take a Vacation (Even When You Can't Afford One)
The words we use shape the impressions, attitudes and opinions we hold about women. According to new research, language also impacts the jobs we apply for, the amount of money we earn and the way we’re evaluated at work. In other words–language holds women back.
DISCLAIMER: This episode addresses language and gender - language also impacts race and other aspects of identity, including sexuality and non-binary gender identity. These are real issues, but there is not enough research nor do we have the expertise on the topics, so those issues are not addressed in this episode.
SHOW NOTES
Phrases like the girls out front, man up and drama queen are demeaning and degrading to women. Other feminine words have been made derogatory - such as the word mistress, which used to define a role in a household and is now a word to describe a woman engaging in infidelity.
Another impact on language is whether or not it is gendered. Languages like French and Spanish are gendered, meaning that some words are designated as feminine or masculine For example, in Italian an apple is feminine and bread is masculine - not the case with English. Why is that and what is the impact? Owen Ozier and Pamela Jakiela conducted a study for the World Bank, which analyzed over 4000 languages and found that 38% of those languages are gendered - and for women who speak primarily a gendered language are 15% less likely to participate in the workforce as compared to those women who speak a non-gendered language - that is 125 million women. They also found people who speak a gendered language are more likely to agree with statements like “On the whole, men make better business executives than women do” or “When jobs are scarce, men should have more right to a job than women.” And women hold these attitudes just like men.
In addition to participation in the workforce, language impacts how we attract candidates, advancement and retention for women in the workforce.
The language in job descriptions can attract - or not - women to apply for jobs. It may be hard to believe that simple changes to language could lead to more women in the workplace. Instead of male coded words like “dominate,” “competitive” and “drive” - words like “team” and “interpersonal” and phrases like “we will support you with the tools you need to do your job” can attract women to apply.
We also see gender bias in the language in performance reviews, which affects retention and promotion. In a study involving military performance evaluation, researchers concluded more negative characteristics were recorded for women than for men. They also found that the negative characteristics attributed to women were about their personality rather than their performance.
So what to do about this? Be specific, and careful and thoughtful; use tools like Ongig to evaluate the language.
Gendered Languages May Play a Role in Limiting Women’s Opportunities, New Research Finds
masculine- and feminine-coded words
The coded language that holds women back at work - BBC Worklife
The words we use shape the impressions, attitudes and opinions we hold about women. According to new research, language also impacts the jobs we apply for, the amount of money we earn and the way we’re evaluated at work. In other words–language holds women back.
DISCLAIMER: This episode addresses language and gender - language also impacts race and other aspects of identity, including sexuality and non-binary gender identity. These are real issues, but there is not enough research nor do we have the expertise on the topics, so those issues are not addressed in this episode.
SHOW NOTES
Phrases like the girls out front, man up and drama queen are demeaning and degrading to women. Other feminine words have been made derogatory - such as the word mistress, which used to define a role in a household and is now a word to describe a woman engaging in infidelity.
Another impact on language is whether or not it is gendered. Languages like French and Spanish are gendered, meaning that some words are designated as feminine or masculine For example, in Italian an apple is feminine and bread is masculine - not the case with English. Why is that and what is the impact? Owen Ozier and Pamela Jakiela conducted a study for the World Bank, which analyzed over 4000 languages and found that 38% of those languages are gendered - and for women who speak primarily a gendered language are 15% less likely to participate in the workforce as compared to those women who speak a non-gendered language - that is 125 million women. They also found people who speak a gendered language are more likely to agree with statements like “On the whole, men make better business executives than women do” or “When jobs are scarce, men should have more right to a job than women.” And women hold these attitudes just like men.
In addition to participation in the workforce, language impacts how we attract candidates, advancement and retention for women in the workforce.
The language in job descriptions can attract - or not - women to apply for jobs. It may be hard to believe that simple changes to language could lead to more women in the workplace. Instead of male coded words like “dominate,” “competitive” and “drive” - words like “team” and “interpersonal” and phrases like “we will support you with the tools you need to do your job” can attract women to apply.
We also see gender bias in the language in performance reviews, which affects retention and promotion. In a study involving military performance evaluation, researchers concluded more negative characteristics were recorded for women than for men. They also found that the negative characteristics attributed to women were about their personality rather than their performance.
So what to do about this? Be specific, and careful and thoughtful; use tools like Ongig to evaluate the language.
Gendered Languages May Play a Role in Limiting Women’s Opportunities, New Research Finds
masculine- and feminine-coded words
The coded language that holds women back at work - BBC Worklife
Do you abide by the social code at work or do you balk at such conventions? Do you see manners as a construct developed by the patriarchy or a set of rules that we should happily abide by? Are you offended by the need to be a “good girl,” or do you see the value of manners in maintaining social order? Join the conversation as we explore this very interesting debate.
SHOW NOTES
Manners are behaviors and etiquette is the social code or cultural values of a community. According to the anonymous blogger, peaceigive, the word “etiquette” comes to us from French and it referred to a physical ticket that explained the social rules in the court of Louis XIV. And of course, you only got a copy of the rules if you were “in.”
While manners and etiquette are fundamentally about kindness and respect, manners and etiquette can also be racist, ableist and sexist – and tools of exclusion. Manners and etiquette in the workplace present an opportunity, as Judith “Miss Manners” Martin says, to maintain personal dignity, to balance cooperation and competitiveness, to take responsibility and remain flexible, to be attentive and discreet as well as honest and tactful Manners and etiquette can be empowering to create a culture of inclusiveness.
Tune in to hear about the specifics of introductions, who pays, who buys gifts, remote work and all of the fabulous opportunities we have in the workplace to use manners and etiquette to create more ease, meaning and joy at work.
GOOD READS
Do you abide by the social code at work or do you balk at such conventions? Do you see manners as a construct developed by the patriarchy or a set of rules that we should happily abide by? Are you offended by the need to be a “good girl,” or do you see the value of manners in maintaining social order? Join the conversation as we explore this very interesting debate.
SHOW NOTES
Manners are behaviors and etiquette is the social code or cultural values of a community. According to the anonymous blogger, peaceigive, the word “etiquette” comes to us from French and it referred to a physical ticket that explained the social rules in the court of Louis XIV. And of course, you only got a copy of the rules if you were “in.”
While manners and etiquette are fundamentally about kindness and respect, manners and etiquette can also be racist, ableist and sexist – and tools of exclusion. Manners and etiquette in the workplace present an opportunity, as Judith “Miss Manners” Martin says, to maintain personal dignity, to balance cooperation and competitiveness, to take responsibility and remain flexible, to be attentive and discreet as well as honest and tactful Manners and etiquette can be empowering to create a culture of inclusiveness.
Tune in to hear about the specifics of introductions, who pays, who buys gifts, remote work and all of the fabulous opportunities we have in the workplace to use manners and etiquette to create more ease, meaning and joy at work.
GOOD READS
Coworkers who are grieving, sad and experiencing trauma might appear scattered, distand, disorganized, short tempered, anxious, intense and teary. So how do we create more ease, meaning and joy at work by showing up and supporting them, and ourselves?
SHOW NOTES
The first step is the scariest because there are so many unknowns, but it is the check in - check in with your co-worker about how they are doing. The reason this can feel scary is because you do not know what the reaction with be - you could get tears, a brick wall, anger - you just cannot be sure how someone is doing until you ask - but being open allows us to do the next important step, which is to hold space, which means we just need to pay attention and listen. When we are holding space, telling someone how they do or should or will feel is often not helpful. Once we have an understanding of how someone is going, then we can start to sort through whether we should just be with our co-worker or we should make an offer to help. Listen is as Crina and Kirsten sort through these issues and the specifics.
MORE GOOD READS
The Best Way to Comfort Someone When They're Sad
How to Offer Support to a Grieving Colleague (hbr.org)
When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question
Four Ways Hugs Are Good for Your Health
Coworkers who are grieving, sad and experiencing trauma might appear scattered, distand, disorganized, short tempered, anxious, intense and teary. So how do we create more ease, meaning and joy at work by showing up and supporting them, and ourselves?
SHOW NOTES
The first step is the scariest because there are so many unknowns, but it is the check in - check in with your co-worker about how they are doing. The reason this can feel scary is because you do not know what the reaction with be - you could get tears, a brick wall, anger - you just cannot be sure how someone is doing until you ask - but being open allows us to do the next important step, which is to hold space, which means we just need to pay attention and listen. When we are holding space, telling someone how they do or should or will feel is often not helpful. Once we have an understanding of how someone is going, then we can start to sort through whether we should just be with our co-worker or we should make an offer to help. Listen is as Crina and Kirsten sort through these issues and the specifics.
MORE GOOD READS
The Best Way to Comfort Someone When They're Sad
How to Offer Support to a Grieving Colleague (hbr.org)
When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question
Four Ways Hugs Are Good for Your Health
Sometimes we find ourselves on the receiving end of change, but how to manage the change we do not control? And how do we deal with the emotions that come with all of this change?
SHOW NOTES
It is helpful to know ourselves - always, but particularly with change. In 1962, E.M. Rogers created the Diffusion of Innovation Theory - how change happens. Innovators are the creators of change. Early adopters are people in leadership who embrace change. Early majority are those of us who are not in leadership, but are more willing than most to adopt a change. Late majority are the folks who are reluctant to change, but will do it once most others have. Laggards, are those who are reluctant to change - and just really do not like it. Knowing who we are on this scale gives us a starting point to address the impacts of change.
When change happens, there can be things that frustrate us, worry us and create problems for us. Change can create just about any negative emotion or experience. McKinsey created the 7 S’s, which is really an organizational tool, but serves as an excellent evaluation tool:
1 - is your problem or concern one of strategy - does the change impact the organization’s plan for building and maintaining a competitive advantage over competitors?
2 - is your problem or concern one of structure - does the change impact how workers are organized and who reports to who?
3 - is your problem or concern with systems - does the change impact how work is performed?
4 - is your problem or concern with values - does the change impact the core values or work ethic of the organization?
5 - is your problem or concern one of style - does the change impact leadership style?
6 - is your problem or concern one of staffing - does the change impact the ability of the humans to do their work?
7 - is your problem or concern one of skills - does the change impact the skills and competencies of the organization’s workers?
Analyzing your concern or problem through this lens provides a framework to better manage our responses.
Once we understand our problem or concern, there are strategies to manage those reactions:
GOOD READS:
(40) 10 Tips for Dealing with Change Positively in Your workplace | LinkedIn
McKinsey 7-S Framework - Making Every Part of Your Organization Work in Harmony
Diffusion of Innovation Theory
Sometimes we find ourselves on the receiving end of change, but how to manage the change we do not control? And how do we deal with the emotions that come with all of this change?
SHOW NOTES
It is helpful to know ourselves - always, but particularly with change. In 1962, E.M. Rogers created the Diffusion of Innovation Theory - how change happens. Innovators are the creators of change. Early adopters are people in leadership who embrace change. Early majority are those of us who are not in leadership, but are more willing than most to adopt a change. Late majority are the folks who are reluctant to change, but will do it once most others have. Laggards, are those who are reluctant to change - and just really do not like it. Knowing who we are on this scale gives us a starting point to address the impacts of change.
When change happens, there can be things that frustrate us, worry us and create problems for us. Change can create just about any negative emotion or experience. McKinsey created the 7 S’s, which is really an organizational tool, but serves as an excellent evaluation tool:
1 - is your problem or concern one of strategy - does the change impact the organization’s plan for building and maintaining a competitive advantage over competitors?
2 - is your problem or concern one of structure - does the change impact how workers are organized and who reports to who?
3 - is your problem or concern with systems - does the change impact how work is performed?
4 - is your problem or concern with values - does the change impact the core values or work ethic of the organization?
5 - is your problem or concern one of style - does the change impact leadership style?
6 - is your problem or concern one of staffing - does the change impact the ability of the humans to do their work?
7 - is your problem or concern one of skills - does the change impact the skills and competencies of the organization’s workers?
Analyzing your concern or problem through this lens provides a framework to better manage our responses.
Once we understand our problem or concern, there are strategies to manage those reactions:
GOOD READS:
(40) 10 Tips for Dealing with Change Positively in Your workplace | LinkedIn
McKinsey 7-S Framework - Making Every Part of Your Organization Work in Harmony
Diffusion of Innovation Theory
Interviews are your first change to make a lasting impression. What you say, what you wear, and how (or whether) you answer the questions can make or break your chances at landing that dream job. You don’t want to miss this master class!
SHOW NOTES
Looking for a job can be discouraging, but remember, 52% of applicants get 1 or 2 interviews after submitting 10 applications. 34% get none and 14% get 3 or more interviews. It usually takes at least ten applications to get a job.
The first step to interviewing is preparation, which will take far longer than the interview. And we assume we have the interview because our resumes are great, our cover letters do not contain typos and our social media presence reflects what we want to communicate to the world, including a potential employer.
Research the company and the industry, check into what their employees on LinkIn are posting, find people who know about the company and ask questions. What would you like to know about the company or working there that you did not find out in your research?
Find a personal connection to the company and let that person know you have an interview. Candidates that are referred and have personal connections are more likely to be hired.
Practice answering questions - no, really, don’t just consider what your answers would be, but actually say it out loud - preferably with someone you trust. We should be prepared to answer the difficult questions about ourselves - be ready to explain gaps in our resume, a termination, a criminal conviction . . . we should be ready to talk about the challenging parts of our resume and work - and sometimes personal - history. Practice with a friend or mentor.
And we have arrived at the big day - be early, comfortable, rested, hydrated, and nourished.
It is okay to be nervous, it shows you care, but focusing on our nervousness can be distracting.
Here are some helpful hints: answer the questions and be honest in your answers (this is BIG!); take notes if it is helpful to stay on track; have copies of your resume, references, writing samples etc in case those are needed; ask the questions that arose during your research. And feel free to be funny and add humor - funny people are more likely to be hired.
GOOD READS
Tips for a Successful Interview
Strategies of Effective Interviewing
30 Mind-Blowing Interview Statistics to Get You Going in 2023 (legaljobs.io)
Interviews are your first change to make a lasting impression. What you say, what you wear, and how (or whether) you answer the questions can make or break your chances at landing that dream job. You don’t want to miss this master class!
SHOW NOTES
Looking for a job can be discouraging, but remember, 52% of applicants get 1 or 2 interviews after submitting 10 applications. 34% get none and 14% get 3 or more interviews. It usually takes at least ten applications to get a job.
The first step to interviewing is preparation, which will take far longer than the interview. And we assume we have the interview because our resumes are great, our cover letters do not contain typos and our social media presence reflects what we want to communicate to the world, including a potential employer.
Research the company and the industry, check into what their employees on LinkIn are posting, find people who know about the company and ask questions. What would you like to know about the company or working there that you did not find out in your research?
Find a personal connection to the company and let that person know you have an interview. Candidates that are referred and have personal connections are more likely to be hired.
Practice answering questions - no, really, don’t just consider what your answers would be, but actually say it out loud - preferably with someone you trust. We should be prepared to answer the difficult questions about ourselves - be ready to explain gaps in our resume, a termination, a criminal conviction . . . we should be ready to talk about the challenging parts of our resume and work - and sometimes personal - history. Practice with a friend or mentor.
And we have arrived at the big day - be early, comfortable, rested, hydrated, and nourished.
It is okay to be nervous, it shows you care, but focusing on our nervousness can be distracting.
Here are some helpful hints: answer the questions and be honest in your answers (this is BIG!); take notes if it is helpful to stay on track; have copies of your resume, references, writing samples etc in case those are needed; ask the questions that arose during your research. And feel free to be funny and add humor - funny people are more likely to be hired.
GOOD READS
Tips for a Successful Interview
Strategies of Effective Interviewing
30 Mind-Blowing Interview Statistics to Get You Going in 2023 (legaljobs.io)
What you decide is “true” in the world, shapes how you experience every single situation you encounter. It also impacts your happiness, health and your job. New research helps explain why this is true; why we interpret situations in such vastly different ways; AND how to change your outlook.
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten find it endlessly entertaining to consider why people arrive at certain conclusions. We have all been in a situation where we have said something and two people who have heard it interpret what we say entirely differently - and maybe even differently than we intended. This is true of so many things - i.e. is the email my boss sent supportive or is it a threat. Kirsten is consistently surprised by employees who think they are being fired and pack up their office when their boss has no intention of firing them. Why is this?
At first, our hosts thought that it was about family or origin and experiences, but new research suggests our beliefs may be more about what we decide is true versus what we actually experience as true. Our hosts are quick to point out that trauma and adverse childhood experiences are not addressed in this research - at least not yet - and we should be cautious about applying this new research to those situations.
Our beliefs about whether the world is a good place stem from three main questions:
Is the world safe?
Is the world beautiful and interesting?
Do I have the ability to influence the world around me?
Jer refers to these beliefs as Primal Beliefs - and they shape our experience of the world. Our duo explores what each of these questions is about. If the world is not safe, then it is unsafe. If the world is not beautiful and interesting, then it is dull and boring. If we do not have the ability to interact and influence our world, then it is just mechanistic and our efforts are futile. These beliefs do not necessarily control everything we do, but research indicates these beliefs nudge our experiences and fill in the gaps when we do not have enough information.
The research is exciting because it concludes that experiences do not necessarily shape belief. For example, people who live in relatively wealthier neighborhoods do not see the world as more abundant than people who live in poorer neighborhoods - and the same is true for safety. People who live in safer neighborhoods do not believe the world is safer than people who live in more dangerous neighborhoods. The experiences of these people do not match their beliefs.
This research is new and there is more coming out in the next several years. It is an exciting proposition that we can decide what beliefs we hold - and even work to increase our positive beliefs to improve our experience with the world.
What you decide is “true” in the world, shapes how you experience every single situation you encounter. It also impacts your happiness, health and your job. New research helps explain why this is true; why we interpret situations in such vastly different ways; AND how to change your outlook.
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten find it endlessly entertaining to consider why people arrive at certain conclusions. We have all been in a situation where we have said something and two people who have heard it interpret what we say entirely differently - and maybe even differently than we intended. This is true of so many things - i.e. is the email my boss sent supportive or is it a threat. Kirsten is consistently surprised by employees who think they are being fired and pack up their office when their boss has no intention of firing them. Why is this?
At first, our hosts thought that it was about family or origin and experiences, but new research suggests our beliefs may be more about what we decide is true versus what we actually experience as true. Our hosts are quick to point out that trauma and adverse childhood experiences are not addressed in this research - at least not yet - and we should be cautious about applying this new research to those situations.
Our beliefs about whether the world is a good place stem from three main questions:
Is the world safe?
Is the world beautiful and interesting?
Do I have the ability to influence the world around me?
Jer refers to these beliefs as Primal Beliefs - and they shape our experience of the world. Our duo explores what each of these questions is about. If the world is not safe, then it is unsafe. If the world is not beautiful and interesting, then it is dull and boring. If we do not have the ability to interact and influence our world, then it is just mechanistic and our efforts are futile. These beliefs do not necessarily control everything we do, but research indicates these beliefs nudge our experiences and fill in the gaps when we do not have enough information.
The research is exciting because it concludes that experiences do not necessarily shape belief. For example, people who live in relatively wealthier neighborhoods do not see the world as more abundant than people who live in poorer neighborhoods - and the same is true for safety. People who live in safer neighborhoods do not believe the world is safer than people who live in more dangerous neighborhoods. The experiences of these people do not match their beliefs.
This research is new and there is more coming out in the next several years. It is an exciting proposition that we can decide what beliefs we hold - and even work to increase our positive beliefs to improve our experience with the world.
The US Surgeon General has called-out workplace mental health and wellness as a public health priority! Woot Woot! And a huge shout out to their new Framework for workplace mental health and well-being!
Here is the link:
Workplace Mental Health & Well-Being — Current Priorities of the U.S. Surgeon General
SHOW NOTES
And don’t forget to read Surgeon General Murthy’s letter introducing the framework. He discusses his parents’ experience in coming to America and what work meant to them. It meant connection and meaning - and helped them thrive - and provided for their family. Sounds a lot like ease, meaning and joy!
The framework starts by citing the statistics on workplace mental health. The vast majority of people are experiencing a mental health symptom due to stress at work, yet most are unwilling to seek help, which means people suffer.
Dr. Murthy then lays out the five components of workplace mental health and wellness.
Protection from Harm: Human needs: Safety and Security
Protection from harm covers everything from adequate ergonomic equipment, safety in performing tasks such as lifting, clean air and water, sufficient light - and being free from impacts to our psychological safety, such as bullying and intimidation and discrimination.
Connection & Community Human needs: Social Support and Belonging
Creating connections, relationships and networks at work offers all kinds of support to employees and can mitigate the tsunami of loneliness that is facing many Americans. Creating a culture of belonging supports mental health and wellness.
Work-Life Harmony Human needs: Autonomy and Flexibility
The work-life harmony component of mental health and well-being at work acknowledges that most workers have more responsibilities than their work. Employers need to see workers as whole people with responsibilities outside of work, whether it is time needed for routine physical and mental health care, an unexpected family issue that requires urgent attention, or for regular time and space for rest, exercise, educational pursuits, and hobbies. Workers also need as much flexibility and autonomy as possible as to how their work is done, which helps them balance work on personal obligations.
Mattering at Work Human needs: Dignity and meaning
Workers want to know they matter and they make a difference. This is about compensating workers in a way that acknowledges and communicates value as well as building a culture of gratitude and recognition.
Opportunity for Growth Human Needs: Learning and Accomplishment
Lastly, workers need opportunities for learning, accomplishment, and growth to support mental health and well-being in the workplace. Workers become more optimistic about their abilities and more enthusiastic about contributing to the organization. This can be education, mentoring, training or advancement opportunities.
Kudos to Dr. Murthy for bringing the issue of workplace mental health and wellness to the forefront of important health issues in the United States.
The US Surgeon General has called-out workplace mental health and wellness as a public health priority! Woot Woot! And a huge shout out to their new Framework for workplace mental health and well-being!
Here is the link:
Workplace Mental Health & Well-Being — Current Priorities of the U.S. Surgeon General
SHOW NOTES
And don’t forget to read Surgeon General Murthy’s letter introducing the framework. He discusses his parents’ experience in coming to America and what work meant to them. It meant connection and meaning - and helped them thrive - and provided for their family. Sounds a lot like ease, meaning and joy!
The framework starts by citing the statistics on workplace mental health. The vast majority of people are experiencing a mental health symptom due to stress at work, yet most are unwilling to seek help, which means people suffer.
Dr. Murthy then lays out the five components of workplace mental health and wellness.
Protection from Harm: Human needs: Safety and Security
Protection from harm covers everything from adequate ergonomic equipment, safety in performing tasks such as lifting, clean air and water, sufficient light - and being free from impacts to our psychological safety, such as bullying and intimidation and discrimination.
Connection & Community Human needs: Social Support and Belonging
Creating connections, relationships and networks at work offers all kinds of support to employees and can mitigate the tsunami of loneliness that is facing many Americans. Creating a culture of belonging supports mental health and wellness.
Work-Life Harmony Human needs: Autonomy and Flexibility
The work-life harmony component of mental health and well-being at work acknowledges that most workers have more responsibilities than their work. Employers need to see workers as whole people with responsibilities outside of work, whether it is time needed for routine physical and mental health care, an unexpected family issue that requires urgent attention, or for regular time and space for rest, exercise, educational pursuits, and hobbies. Workers also need as much flexibility and autonomy as possible as to how their work is done, which helps them balance work on personal obligations.
Mattering at Work Human needs: Dignity and meaning
Workers want to know they matter and they make a difference. This is about compensating workers in a way that acknowledges and communicates value as well as building a culture of gratitude and recognition.
Opportunity for Growth Human Needs: Learning and Accomplishment
Lastly, workers need opportunities for learning, accomplishment, and growth to support mental health and well-being in the workplace. Workers become more optimistic about their abilities and more enthusiastic about contributing to the organization. This can be education, mentoring, training or advancement opportunities.
Kudos to Dr. Murthy for bringing the issue of workplace mental health and wellness to the forefront of important health issues in the United States.
Creative activities such as painting, writing, drawing wood-working, playing music, cooking and landscaping will make you healthier, reduce stress, help you problem solve and boost your happiness. Creativity also appears to make you more generous toward others and easier to be around!
SHOW NOTES
Creativity is an activity that occurs by connecting the activities that occur in various parts of our brains. Anna Abraham, a neuroscientist and author of The Neuroscience of Creativity said in Scientific American that one of the things that’s unique about creativity in the brain is that it draws from both sides. This is actually what makes creativity unique compared to other brain functions, like language or motion, that originate in a specific region.
In a 2018 study researchers determined creativity is higher in people who are able to connect the parts of our brain that provide imagining with decision making and focus and the ability to switch among these functions. Usually brain activity doesn’t occur much between these networks, but in highly creative brains, interactions were strong.
There are many studies supporting the link between creativity and happiness. See the links below. Participants who undertook a creativity priming task that required them to recall three situations where they had behaved creatively before completing another creativity task, reported a higher level of subjective well-being after the task than the control group. In a study of women with stage 1 and 2 breast cancer, creative arts therapy intervention enhanced psychological well-being by decreasing negative emotional states and enhancing positive ones. The authors of a 2019 article concludes creative individuals tend to be better problem-solvers, which in turn lowers their stress levels and promotes happiness.
Creativity is also good for your performance at work and it is good for those around you. A new study by San Francisco State University organizational psychologist Kevin Eschleman and colleagues found employees who pursue creative activities outside of work find these activities boost their performance on the job. Creativity again makes us better problem solvers, and it also appears to make us more generous with our co-workers in terms of lending a hand.
The most effective way to increase creativity to make space for it, whether journaling as part of a morning routine or wood working in the evening after dinner. If you cannot carve out the space try to build it into existing activities - maybe doodle when taking notes or focusing on creativity when preparing your evening meal.
Doing routine activities in a different way can also fuel creativity, such as taking a different route to work or using your non-dominant hand or refraining from swearing - these kinds of changes “mix it up” in your brain.
10 Studies Show Why Creativity and Happiness are Linked (trackinghappiness.com)
3 science-backed reasons having a hobby will help your career (cnbc.com)
Why Do We Treat Women's Creativity Differently? | Psychology Today
How To Be More Creative And Boost Happiness: 6 Ways To Get Inspired (forbes.com)
The Creativity Bias against Women - Scientific American
Creative activities such as painting, writing, drawing wood-working, playing music, cooking and landscaping will make you healthier, reduce stress, help you problem solve and boost your happiness. Creativity also appears to make you more generous toward others and easier to be around!
SHOW NOTES
Creativity is an activity that occurs by connecting the activities that occur in various parts of our brains. Anna Abraham, a neuroscientist and author of The Neuroscience of Creativity said in Scientific American that one of the things that’s unique about creativity in the brain is that it draws from both sides. This is actually what makes creativity unique compared to other brain functions, like language or motion, that originate in a specific region.
In a 2018 study researchers determined creativity is higher in people who are able to connect the parts of our brain that provide imagining with decision making and focus and the ability to switch among these functions. Usually brain activity doesn’t occur much between these networks, but in highly creative brains, interactions were strong.
There are many studies supporting the link between creativity and happiness. See the links below. Participants who undertook a creativity priming task that required them to recall three situations where they had behaved creatively before completing another creativity task, reported a higher level of subjective well-being after the task than the control group. In a study of women with stage 1 and 2 breast cancer, creative arts therapy intervention enhanced psychological well-being by decreasing negative emotional states and enhancing positive ones. The authors of a 2019 article concludes creative individuals tend to be better problem-solvers, which in turn lowers their stress levels and promotes happiness.
Creativity is also good for your performance at work and it is good for those around you. A new study by San Francisco State University organizational psychologist Kevin Eschleman and colleagues found employees who pursue creative activities outside of work find these activities boost their performance on the job. Creativity again makes us better problem solvers, and it also appears to make us more generous with our co-workers in terms of lending a hand.
The most effective way to increase creativity to make space for it, whether journaling as part of a morning routine or wood working in the evening after dinner. If you cannot carve out the space try to build it into existing activities - maybe doodle when taking notes or focusing on creativity when preparing your evening meal.
Doing routine activities in a different way can also fuel creativity, such as taking a different route to work or using your non-dominant hand or refraining from swearing - these kinds of changes “mix it up” in your brain.
10 Studies Show Why Creativity and Happiness are Linked (trackinghappiness.com)
3 science-backed reasons having a hobby will help your career (cnbc.com)
Why Do We Treat Women's Creativity Differently? | Psychology Today
How To Be More Creative And Boost Happiness: 6 Ways To Get Inspired (forbes.com)
The Creativity Bias against Women - Scientific American
Entitlement is an excessive self-regard and a belief in the automatic right to certain, usually privileged, treatment…hmmm…who does that remind you of?
SHOW NOTES
White male entitlement exists because society has a dislike, contempt or ingrained prejudice against women - also known as misogyny. It is difficult not to reach this conclusion when we look at statistics about women’s health, women at work, women as parents, the economic status of women, women in elected and administrative governmental offices etc . . .. In each of the areas, the results for women are inferior to those of men. Kate Mann, assistant professor of philosophy at Cornell University, writes misogyny is “the system that operates within a patriarchal social order to police and enforce women’s subordination and to uphold male dominance.” Misogyny is like a shock collar used to keep dogs behind an invisible fence, misogyny, Mann argues, and aims to keep women—those who are well trained as well as those who are unruly—in line.” Mann asserts that misogyny is not directed at every woman, but rather is a system in which women exist. Mann distinguishes sexism, which she defines as the ideas society has about women, with misogyny, which is the patriarchal system of enforcement of those ideas.
The misogynistic culture allows male entitled to thrive. Male entitlement can be as simple as men acting like the master of the castle and treating women as there to serve and pamper. It can be seen in the policing of what women wear lest they leave a man unable to control his sexual desires. We see it at work, much as we do at home, with the delegation of certain kinds of tasks to women, the frequency and duration that men speak - even the learned incompetence that we sometimes see in men who believe they are not required to be competent. And this kind of behavior in the workplace negatively impacts job satisfaction and leads to burnout both for the entitled and for their co-workers.
This is a problem for white males to resolve. And it requires white males to be aware of their behavior - their expectations, how much they speak, how much room they take up. It requires active listening and a desire to give support as much or not more than they receive it. Ideally, men call other men on entitled behavior.
Women can set good boundaries about what they are willing to do and not do and what behavior they are willing to be on the receiving end and what behavior they are not willing to tolerate.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Being a good listener is an important learned skill.
Entitlement is an excessive self-regard and a belief in the automatic right to certain, usually privileged, treatment…hmmm…who does that remind you of?
SHOW NOTES
White male entitlement exists because society has a dislike, contempt or ingrained prejudice against women - also known as misogyny. It is difficult not to reach this conclusion when we look at statistics about women’s health, women at work, women as parents, the economic status of women, women in elected and administrative governmental offices etc . . .. In each of the areas, the results for women are inferior to those of men. Kate Mann, assistant professor of philosophy at Cornell University, writes misogyny is “the system that operates within a patriarchal social order to police and enforce women’s subordination and to uphold male dominance.” Misogyny is like a shock collar used to keep dogs behind an invisible fence, misogyny, Mann argues, and aims to keep women—those who are well trained as well as those who are unruly—in line.” Mann asserts that misogyny is not directed at every woman, but rather is a system in which women exist. Mann distinguishes sexism, which she defines as the ideas society has about women, with misogyny, which is the patriarchal system of enforcement of those ideas.
The misogynistic culture allows male entitled to thrive. Male entitlement can be as simple as men acting like the master of the castle and treating women as there to serve and pamper. It can be seen in the policing of what women wear lest they leave a man unable to control his sexual desires. We see it at work, much as we do at home, with the delegation of certain kinds of tasks to women, the frequency and duration that men speak - even the learned incompetence that we sometimes see in men who believe they are not required to be competent. And this kind of behavior in the workplace negatively impacts job satisfaction and leads to burnout both for the entitled and for their co-workers.
This is a problem for white males to resolve. And it requires white males to be aware of their behavior - their expectations, how much they speak, how much room they take up. It requires active listening and a desire to give support as much or not more than they receive it. Ideally, men call other men on entitled behavior.
Women can set good boundaries about what they are willing to do and not do and what behavior they are willing to be on the receiving end and what behavior they are not willing to tolerate.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Being a good listener is an important learned skill.
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our duo digs into mornings! Don’t mornings mean hitting the snooze and leaping out of bed at the last minute?! Of course, and that is what 69% of us do. However, how we start the day influences our well being and productivity for the rest of the day.
SHOW NOTES
Nancy Rothbard of Harvard and Steffanie Wilk of Ohio State University found that the start-of-the-day mood can last longer than we might think—and has an important effect on job performance. They studied the moods of customer service representatives (CSRs) as they started the day, how they viewed work events such as customer interactions throughout the day, and their mood during the day after these customer interactions. How a CRS started the day was the mood that stayed with them throughout the day. For those CRS who started out the day in a calm and happy mood, customer interactions tended to enhance those positive feelings. Those who started the day in a bad mood did not really climb out of it even after interacting with positive customers. Quality and quality of work was also better among those who reported more positive feelings. How Your Morning Mood Affects Your Whole Workday
Owning our mornings means we start our day in meaningful activity. To have time, we need to wake up earlier, but that does not mean we should cut back on sleep, it really means we go to bed earlier. Over 60% of Americans hardly ever wake up feeling energized or rested, according to a 2020 survey conducted by RestoreZ. We are already tired so moving our bedtime earlier is essential to preserving sleep and having a morning routine.
To wake up earlier …”we’re trying to not just shift your bedtime, but actually shift your entire circadian clock to be earlier,” said Kimberly Fenn, a cognitive neuroscientist. This is a gradual process, say 15 minutes earlier to bed every night to allow our bodies to adapt.
Now that we are up, bright-eyed and bushy tailed with time before we have to be at work, what do we do with that time? And here is the beauty of this - we get to create a routine that makes us happy, that is meaningful to us.
For some people a morning routine may be five minutes - a glass of water, an affirmation or intention for the day. For others, a routine can be an hour - or even two - and include meditation, journaling, exercise - and a really good breakfast. A morning routine is about priming our brains for positivity. For women with children at home, caretaking obligations or lots of overtime, the five minute morning routine may be perfect. The opportunity is to begin the day in a way that brings positivity to our day - and maybe even joy!
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
5 best morning routine ideas of productive people | Trello
Psychologists: Morning habits to help you be happier, more productive
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our duo digs into mornings! Don’t mornings mean hitting the snooze and leaping out of bed at the last minute?! Of course, and that is what 69% of us do. However, how we start the day influences our well being and productivity for the rest of the day.
SHOW NOTES
Nancy Rothbard of Harvard and Steffanie Wilk of Ohio State University found that the start-of-the-day mood can last longer than we might think—and has an important effect on job performance. They studied the moods of customer service representatives (CSRs) as they started the day, how they viewed work events such as customer interactions throughout the day, and their mood during the day after these customer interactions. How a CRS started the day was the mood that stayed with them throughout the day. For those CRS who started out the day in a calm and happy mood, customer interactions tended to enhance those positive feelings. Those who started the day in a bad mood did not really climb out of it even after interacting with positive customers. Quality and quality of work was also better among those who reported more positive feelings. How Your Morning Mood Affects Your Whole Workday
Owning our mornings means we start our day in meaningful activity. To have time, we need to wake up earlier, but that does not mean we should cut back on sleep, it really means we go to bed earlier. Over 60% of Americans hardly ever wake up feeling energized or rested, according to a 2020 survey conducted by RestoreZ. We are already tired so moving our bedtime earlier is essential to preserving sleep and having a morning routine.
To wake up earlier …”we’re trying to not just shift your bedtime, but actually shift your entire circadian clock to be earlier,” said Kimberly Fenn, a cognitive neuroscientist. This is a gradual process, say 15 minutes earlier to bed every night to allow our bodies to adapt.
Now that we are up, bright-eyed and bushy tailed with time before we have to be at work, what do we do with that time? And here is the beauty of this - we get to create a routine that makes us happy, that is meaningful to us.
For some people a morning routine may be five minutes - a glass of water, an affirmation or intention for the day. For others, a routine can be an hour - or even two - and include meditation, journaling, exercise - and a really good breakfast. A morning routine is about priming our brains for positivity. For women with children at home, caretaking obligations or lots of overtime, the five minute morning routine may be perfect. The opportunity is to begin the day in a way that brings positivity to our day - and maybe even joy!
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
5 best morning routine ideas of productive people | Trello
Psychologists: Morning habits to help you be happier, more productive
Overwhelmed means that you are experiencing intense emotions you don’t have the capacity to fully manage or process. Most people are overwhelmed by negative emotions, like anxiety, fear, anger or shame. These feelings leave little room to figure out what is the next best step. When we are overwhelmed, performing every-day tasks is difficult - and it compromises our ability to act rationally, remember things, solve problems or think.
The “overwhelm” has physical, cognitive, and behavioral effects. Our bodies can feel shaky, or have those anxious sensations such as a racing heart or an upset stomach or that antsy skin-crawling sensation. Cognitively, we can be slower to process information and even become confused and our judgment can be affected. Our behaviors can also be impacted - we may eat more or less, we may treat others poorly, we may procrastinate or isolate ourselves. In short - just feel and act in a way far from our best selves.
Overwhelm is a significant issue for women at work and about a third of us seek professional help to deal with overwhelming stress.
Some strategies for dealing with overwhelm are:
Sometimes calling a friend can help manage and strategize through overwhelm. Kirsten has “borrowed a brain” from a friend when hers was not working. Sometimes completely mixin’ it up can also help - like heading out the door for a walk in the fresh air - or even just in different surroundings. We can change overwhelm into something different - or at least alleviate its intensity - a critical piece to ease, meaning and joy at work.
Women Continuing To Face Alarmingly High Levels Of Burnout, Stress In The “New Normal” Of Work
Stress in America 2022: Concerned for the future, beset by inflation
Overwhelmed means that you are experiencing intense emotions you don’t have the capacity to fully manage or process. Most people are overwhelmed by negative emotions, like anxiety, fear, anger or shame. These feelings leave little room to figure out what is the next best step. When we are overwhelmed, performing every-day tasks is difficult - and it compromises our ability to act rationally, remember things, solve problems or think.
The “overwhelm” has physical, cognitive, and behavioral effects. Our bodies can feel shaky, or have those anxious sensations such as a racing heart or an upset stomach or that antsy skin-crawling sensation. Cognitively, we can be slower to process information and even become confused and our judgment can be affected. Our behaviors can also be impacted - we may eat more or less, we may treat others poorly, we may procrastinate or isolate ourselves. In short - just feel and act in a way far from our best selves.
Overwhelm is a significant issue for women at work and about a third of us seek professional help to deal with overwhelming stress.
Some strategies for dealing with overwhelm are:
Sometimes calling a friend can help manage and strategize through overwhelm. Kirsten has “borrowed a brain” from a friend when hers was not working. Sometimes completely mixin’ it up can also help - like heading out the door for a walk in the fresh air - or even just in different surroundings. We can change overwhelm into something different - or at least alleviate its intensity - a critical piece to ease, meaning and joy at work.
Women Continuing To Face Alarmingly High Levels Of Burnout, Stress In The “New Normal” Of Work
Stress in America 2022: Concerned for the future, beset by inflation
Friendships at work make you feel better about your job, more creative, able to solve problems more quickly and so much happier. Having friends of any kind–from casual acquaintances to besties–will lead to more ease, meaning and joy in your job and in your life, not to mention help you feel less lonely in this crazy world!
SHOW NOTES
Revisiting the very first episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts take a deeper dive into material they discussed so many years ago. First, let’s review the three types of friendships, all of which contribute to the ease, meaning and joy we experience at work.
Our hosts wanted to take a deeper dive considering what is something of a loneliness epidemic in the United State. Three decades ago, Gallup reported that three percent of Americans had no close friends. In 2021, an online poll put the number of people with no close friends at twelve percent. And over the pandemic thirteen percent of women report they have lost touch with friends over the pandemic.
Loneliness at work can keep people “out of the loop.” Interacting with other people at work makes the office more enjoyable, it also provides a conduit for critical information. The informal conversations and communications we have with people at work is how information is shared - and friendships really “grease the wheels” of this communication.
Friendships at work create more committed employees, who are more productive and are better communicators. According to the 2021 Workplace Friendship & Happiness Survey by Wildgoose, 57% of people say having a best friend in the workplace makes work more enjoyable, 22% feel more productive with friends, and 21% say friendship makes them more creative.
There are some key strategies to creating friendships at work, according to research by Shasta Nelson, friendship expert, there are three principles behind any strong relationship:
More good reads:
The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss
How Many Close Friends Do You Need in Adulthood? - The New York Times
The 2021 Workplace Friendship & Happiness Survey | Wildgoose USA
Why Having a Best Friend at Work Matters - businessnewsdaily.com
Frientimacy: The 3 Requirements of All Healthy Friendships | Shasta Nelson | TEDxLaSierraUniversity
Friendships at work make you feel better about your job, more creative, able to solve problems more quickly and so much happier. Having friends of any kind–from casual acquaintances to besties–will lead to more ease, meaning and joy in your job and in your life, not to mention help you feel less lonely in this crazy world!
SHOW NOTES
Revisiting the very first episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts take a deeper dive into material they discussed so many years ago. First, let’s review the three types of friendships, all of which contribute to the ease, meaning and joy we experience at work.
Our hosts wanted to take a deeper dive considering what is something of a loneliness epidemic in the United State. Three decades ago, Gallup reported that three percent of Americans had no close friends. In 2021, an online poll put the number of people with no close friends at twelve percent. And over the pandemic thirteen percent of women report they have lost touch with friends over the pandemic.
Loneliness at work can keep people “out of the loop.” Interacting with other people at work makes the office more enjoyable, it also provides a conduit for critical information. The informal conversations and communications we have with people at work is how information is shared - and friendships really “grease the wheels” of this communication.
Friendships at work create more committed employees, who are more productive and are better communicators. According to the 2021 Workplace Friendship & Happiness Survey by Wildgoose, 57% of people say having a best friend in the workplace makes work more enjoyable, 22% feel more productive with friends, and 21% say friendship makes them more creative.
There are some key strategies to creating friendships at work, according to research by Shasta Nelson, friendship expert, there are three principles behind any strong relationship:
More good reads:
The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss
How Many Close Friends Do You Need in Adulthood? - The New York Times
The 2021 Workplace Friendship & Happiness Survey | Wildgoose USA
Why Having a Best Friend at Work Matters - businessnewsdaily.com
Frientimacy: The 3 Requirements of All Healthy Friendships | Shasta Nelson | TEDxLaSierraUniversity
Our Western culture has created a focus on work and accomplishment - to the detriment of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. Instead, we offer that each and every one of us need…deserve…or rather, should demand more rest and relaxation. In the words of the Nap Bishop herself, “rest requires a revolution.”
SHOW NOTES
Dr. Trisha Hersey, known as the Nap Bishop, is spreading the good word about rest. Hersey’s movement on rest was inspired by studying slavery and realising that slaves working to exhaustion was part of the brutal origin of capitalism - and her own inheritance. Hersey says her rest work is not just about the treatment of Black and Indigenous people, but fundamentally how Black and indigenous people are treated is a bellwether for how society is functioning. She believes everyone benefits when we question our attitudes around the “grind culture” of work and productivity. Hersey’s message is literally about taking naps, but also about other kids of rest. Her ministry comes with four tenets:
Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor who was raised with the message that as a Black woman she would always have to work harder than others. As a physician, she listened to her patients talk about fatigue and realized that her patients were not resting, which she turned inward to address her own deep fatigue. Dalton-Smith, who wrote Sacred Rest - Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore your Sanity, focuses her work on the different kinds of rest we need - emotional, physical, social, spiritual, mental, social, sensory, and creative rest; and the gifts that come from that rest, such as boundaries, reflection, freedom, acceptance.
The message is rest, listeners, rest. It is good for all the parts of our human-ness.
The Nap Bishop Is Spreading the Good Word: Rest - The New York Times
Sacred Rest - Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore your Sanity
Our Western culture has created a focus on work and accomplishment - to the detriment of our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. Instead, we offer that each and every one of us need…deserve…or rather, should demand more rest and relaxation. In the words of the Nap Bishop herself, “rest requires a revolution.”
SHOW NOTES
Dr. Trisha Hersey, known as the Nap Bishop, is spreading the good word about rest. Hersey’s movement on rest was inspired by studying slavery and realising that slaves working to exhaustion was part of the brutal origin of capitalism - and her own inheritance. Hersey says her rest work is not just about the treatment of Black and Indigenous people, but fundamentally how Black and indigenous people are treated is a bellwether for how society is functioning. She believes everyone benefits when we question our attitudes around the “grind culture” of work and productivity. Hersey’s message is literally about taking naps, but also about other kids of rest. Her ministry comes with four tenets:
Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor who was raised with the message that as a Black woman she would always have to work harder than others. As a physician, she listened to her patients talk about fatigue and realized that her patients were not resting, which she turned inward to address her own deep fatigue. Dalton-Smith, who wrote Sacred Rest - Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore your Sanity, focuses her work on the different kinds of rest we need - emotional, physical, social, spiritual, mental, social, sensory, and creative rest; and the gifts that come from that rest, such as boundaries, reflection, freedom, acceptance.
The message is rest, listeners, rest. It is good for all the parts of our human-ness.
The Nap Bishop Is Spreading the Good Word: Rest - The New York Times
Sacred Rest - Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore your Sanity
SHOW NOTES
A Harvard Business School Study found goal setting can create a narrow focus that neglects other areas; cause a rise in unethical behavior, erode the organization culture, and reduce intrinsic motivations. The authors of the study suggest goal setting should be treated like pharmaceuticals, carefully dosed with attention to harmful side effects and under close supervision. It is with this research in mind that we consider goal setting for the new year.
We know that goal setting can be an effective way to create ease, meaning and joy in our work lives. We also know that there are strategies for increasing the likelihood we will achieve our goals. For example, writing down goals increases the chances of achieving them by 42%; people who follow a schedule of actions to achieve a goal are 76% more likely to achieve their goals; and presenting weekly progress reports to a supportive audience increases our success rate 40%.
Given all of this data and the importance of carefully choosing goals, what is a woman to do about goals? Spoiler Alert - work on identifying and setting goals for more of what you want in your life. It is important to be very intentional about what you are creating because we know that goals are also limiting.
Step 1 – Make a list of what’s important - consider the financial and professional aspects of life; consider relationships, and of course physical, spiritual, emotional well-being. For example, what is important may be more time with friends; or more financial security; or more engagement with community. Step 2 – Ask “why is this important?” for each item on your list. If more time with friends is on the list - answer the why. Is it because friends are fun, supportive, interesting? If you want more money in savings, ask why? Does more financial security allow you to be better prepared and feel safer? Does engaging with the community give a sense of purpose or meaning? Maybe it just feels good to contribute. Step 3 – Use the answers to identify your values. The answers give us insight into the values behind what we want. What we want may reflect that we value comfort, or fun, or helping others - or whatever. Step 4 – Use your values to set your goals. If we set goals in the context of our values, we are more likely to succeed in creating more of what we want in our lives. Our goals should engage and inspire us.
2023 is an opportunity to create more ease, meaning and joy in our lives - goal setting is one way to intentionally direct our energy and resources.
Additional Resources:
Journal of Applied Psychology
SHOW NOTES
A Harvard Business School Study found goal setting can create a narrow focus that neglects other areas; cause a rise in unethical behavior, erode the organization culture, and reduce intrinsic motivations. The authors of the study suggest goal setting should be treated like pharmaceuticals, carefully dosed with attention to harmful side effects and under close supervision. It is with this research in mind that we consider goal setting for the new year.
We know that goal setting can be an effective way to create ease, meaning and joy in our work lives. We also know that there are strategies for increasing the likelihood we will achieve our goals. For example, writing down goals increases the chances of achieving them by 42%; people who follow a schedule of actions to achieve a goal are 76% more likely to achieve their goals; and presenting weekly progress reports to a supportive audience increases our success rate 40%.
Given all of this data and the importance of carefully choosing goals, what is a woman to do about goals? Spoiler Alert - work on identifying and setting goals for more of what you want in your life. It is important to be very intentional about what you are creating because we know that goals are also limiting.
Step 1 – Make a list of what’s important - consider the financial and professional aspects of life; consider relationships, and of course physical, spiritual, emotional well-being. For example, what is important may be more time with friends; or more financial security; or more engagement with community. Step 2 – Ask “why is this important?” for each item on your list. If more time with friends is on the list - answer the why. Is it because friends are fun, supportive, interesting? If you want more money in savings, ask why? Does more financial security allow you to be better prepared and feel safer? Does engaging with the community give a sense of purpose or meaning? Maybe it just feels good to contribute. Step 3 – Use the answers to identify your values. The answers give us insight into the values behind what we want. What we want may reflect that we value comfort, or fun, or helping others - or whatever. Step 4 – Use your values to set your goals. If we set goals in the context of our values, we are more likely to succeed in creating more of what we want in our lives. Our goals should engage and inspire us.
2023 is an opportunity to create more ease, meaning and joy in our lives - goal setting is one way to intentionally direct our energy and resources.
Additional Resources:
Journal of Applied Psychology
In this 100th episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts check in on the annual Women in the Workplace study and report from LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Company. Women in the Workplace | McKinsey
This year the study includes information from 333 participating organizations employing more than 12 million people, and surveyed more than 40,000 employees. The study included women of diverse identities, including women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and women with disabilities. The pandemic has changed what women want from their companies, including the growing importance of opportunity, flexibility, employee well-being, and diversity, equity, and inclusion.
What runs through all of the findings is women of color, LGBTQ+ women and women with disabilities are significantly more impacted than white women. This data point that runs through every finding in the report.
Women are breaking up with their employers in record numbers, particularly when it comes to women in leadership. More women in management are leaving than can be recruited. Why? We know women want more flexibility at work. The study confirms women leaders carry more of the diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) at work than men. It is ironic women leaders do more DEI work, which improves retention and satisfaction for employees, but results in these women leaders being overworked - and in many cases unrecognized. And let’s not forget about the second shift many women carry at home. Women leaders want a workplace culture that prioritizes employee well-being and DEI. Finally, women experience less support and more bias in the workplace, which makes the workplace more challenging for women.
For the 8th consecutive year, the “broken rung” at the first step to manager continues to hold women back. For every 100 men who are promoted into management, only 87 women are promoted, and only 82 women of color are promoted. As a result, men in management outnumber women, and women can never catch up. Fewer women in lower management, means fewer women to promote into senior leadership.
Women in technology industries are underrepresented and struggling. These women are twice as likely to frequently be the only woman in the room at work - and they face higher levels of bias based on their gender. Tech roles are among America’s fastest-growing and highest-paid job categories. If women in these roles have negative day-to-day experiences and don’t see an equal path to advancement, it could lead to larger gaps in both representation and earnings between women and men overall.
While the workplace for women is similar to the last eight reports from McKinsey and LeanIn.org, this study reports good and bad news. The good news is women leaders are pushing back and not accepting the status quo. The bad news is disparities for women of color, LGBTQ+ and differently abled are still significant and we are not making progress for women in leadership or in technology. There is more work to do - so the podcast continues!
Women in the Workplace | McKinsey
In this 100th episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts check in on the annual Women in the Workplace study and report from LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Company. Women in the Workplace | McKinsey
This year the study includes information from 333 participating organizations employing more than 12 million people, and surveyed more than 40,000 employees. The study included women of diverse identities, including women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and women with disabilities. The pandemic has changed what women want from their companies, including the growing importance of opportunity, flexibility, employee well-being, and diversity, equity, and inclusion.
What runs through all of the findings is women of color, LGBTQ+ women and women with disabilities are significantly more impacted than white women. This data point that runs through every finding in the report.
Women are breaking up with their employers in record numbers, particularly when it comes to women in leadership. More women in management are leaving than can be recruited. Why? We know women want more flexibility at work. The study confirms women leaders carry more of the diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) at work than men. It is ironic women leaders do more DEI work, which improves retention and satisfaction for employees, but results in these women leaders being overworked - and in many cases unrecognized. And let’s not forget about the second shift many women carry at home. Women leaders want a workplace culture that prioritizes employee well-being and DEI. Finally, women experience less support and more bias in the workplace, which makes the workplace more challenging for women.
For the 8th consecutive year, the “broken rung” at the first step to manager continues to hold women back. For every 100 men who are promoted into management, only 87 women are promoted, and only 82 women of color are promoted. As a result, men in management outnumber women, and women can never catch up. Fewer women in lower management, means fewer women to promote into senior leadership.
Women in technology industries are underrepresented and struggling. These women are twice as likely to frequently be the only woman in the room at work - and they face higher levels of bias based on their gender. Tech roles are among America’s fastest-growing and highest-paid job categories. If women in these roles have negative day-to-day experiences and don’t see an equal path to advancement, it could lead to larger gaps in both representation and earnings between women and men overall.
While the workplace for women is similar to the last eight reports from McKinsey and LeanIn.org, this study reports good and bad news. The good news is women leaders are pushing back and not accepting the status quo. The bad news is disparities for women of color, LGBTQ+ and differently abled are still significant and we are not making progress for women in leadership or in technology. There is more work to do - so the podcast continues!
Women in the Workplace | McKinsey
Procrastination is not just the act of delaying an action, it’s unnecessarily postponing things in a way that doesn’t make sense, and may even cause you harm. Sound familiar? Of course it does! Turns out that 95% of us admit to procrastinating (and the other 5% are probably lying).
SHOW NOTES
Procrastination has negative effects to all aspects of our well-being – from financial to physical health. But like all things, there is a reason we do something that is not so good for us. After a study, Drs. Pchyl and Sirois concluded procrastination is really about avoiding negative moods and emotions associated with a task. And the task may be negative because it is hard, boring, frustrating, meaningless, ambiguous etc. We just do not want to do it. Sooo, we delay because we want to avoid those negative feelings.
The delay creates something identified by many experts as the procrastination cycle. We have an expectation of ourselves that we are supposed to do something, we have some discomfort about what we are supposed to do, which in the moment is rewarded by avoiding the discomfort associated with the task, but then we have not done what we expected of ourselves – and we feel bad.
When we are in this cycle, we have a hard time imagining what it will be like when we do not meet the expectation we have set for ourselves – or let someone else set for us. Our present self feels great avoiding the discomfort – and is not considering that our future self will be stressed, lose opportunities, get disciplined or fired by our boss, feel awful we let down a co-worker . . ..
5 Research-Based Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination
The real reasons you procrastinate — and how to stop - The Washington Post
Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control) - The New York Times
Vicious Cycle of Procrastination.pub
Procrastination is not just the act of delaying an action, it’s unnecessarily postponing things in a way that doesn’t make sense, and may even cause you harm. Sound familiar? Of course it does! Turns out that 95% of us admit to procrastinating (and the other 5% are probably lying).
SHOW NOTES
Procrastination has negative effects to all aspects of our well-being – from financial to physical health. But like all things, there is a reason we do something that is not so good for us. After a study, Drs. Pchyl and Sirois concluded procrastination is really about avoiding negative moods and emotions associated with a task. And the task may be negative because it is hard, boring, frustrating, meaningless, ambiguous etc. We just do not want to do it. Sooo, we delay because we want to avoid those negative feelings.
The delay creates something identified by many experts as the procrastination cycle. We have an expectation of ourselves that we are supposed to do something, we have some discomfort about what we are supposed to do, which in the moment is rewarded by avoiding the discomfort associated with the task, but then we have not done what we expected of ourselves – and we feel bad.
When we are in this cycle, we have a hard time imagining what it will be like when we do not meet the expectation we have set for ourselves – or let someone else set for us. Our present self feels great avoiding the discomfort – and is not considering that our future self will be stressed, lose opportunities, get disciplined or fired by our boss, feel awful we let down a co-worker . . ..
5 Research-Based Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination
The real reasons you procrastinate — and how to stop - The Washington Post
Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control) - The New York Times
Vicious Cycle of Procrastination.pub
When we talk about belonging at work, it means we feel seen for our unique contributions, connected to our coworkers, supported in our daily work and career development and proud of our organization’s values and purpose. When we feel a sense of belonging at work, we are more likely to stay, to be engaged, to be loyal, to be proud, to be better at our jobs and to experience psychological safety.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode, our hosts consider what may be the most important element in creating ease, meaning and joy at work - belonging.Belonging is both external and internal. Dr. Geoffrey Cohen from Stanford says, “[w]e are the engineers of each other’s experience” Geoffrey Cohen from Stanford. Brene Brown says “[belonging] requires us to be who we are.” Belonging is the result of integration of these external and internal elements.
Thirty-four percent of people feel their greatest belonging at work - not family, not friends, but work. How do we create belonging at work? We revisit the paradox that we first spoke about - the internal and the external. What can we do as organizations and what can we do as individuals?
As individuals, we can work on our ability to show up in the workplace as we are - which as we know from Brene requires vulnerability and courage. We can then create alliances with a peer or supervisor who sees and values your contributions, we can engage in high quality interactions with our peers, we can look for and be courageous enough to enter into empathetic relationships with others.
As leaders and part of organizations, we can respect outside commitments, doster inclusive leadership, make our own connections, recognize work and its value, provide honest and regular feedback, respond to concerns, empower others, communicate openly and honestly, and show up as our authentic selves.
More good reads on this very important topic.
The Power of Belonging: - Coqual
The Value of Belonging at Work
Here’s How to Build a Sense of Belonging in the Workplace (betterup.com)
Belonging At Work Is Essential—Here Are 4 Ways To Foster It (forbes.com)
When we talk about belonging at work, it means we feel seen for our unique contributions, connected to our coworkers, supported in our daily work and career development and proud of our organization’s values and purpose. When we feel a sense of belonging at work, we are more likely to stay, to be engaged, to be loyal, to be proud, to be better at our jobs and to experience psychological safety.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode, our hosts consider what may be the most important element in creating ease, meaning and joy at work - belonging.Belonging is both external and internal. Dr. Geoffrey Cohen from Stanford says, “[w]e are the engineers of each other’s experience” Geoffrey Cohen from Stanford. Brene Brown says “[belonging] requires us to be who we are.” Belonging is the result of integration of these external and internal elements.
Thirty-four percent of people feel their greatest belonging at work - not family, not friends, but work. How do we create belonging at work? We revisit the paradox that we first spoke about - the internal and the external. What can we do as organizations and what can we do as individuals?
As individuals, we can work on our ability to show up in the workplace as we are - which as we know from Brene requires vulnerability and courage. We can then create alliances with a peer or supervisor who sees and values your contributions, we can engage in high quality interactions with our peers, we can look for and be courageous enough to enter into empathetic relationships with others.
As leaders and part of organizations, we can respect outside commitments, doster inclusive leadership, make our own connections, recognize work and its value, provide honest and regular feedback, respond to concerns, empower others, communicate openly and honestly, and show up as our authentic selves.
More good reads on this very important topic.
The Power of Belonging: - Coqual
The Value of Belonging at Work
Here’s How to Build a Sense of Belonging in the Workplace (betterup.com)
Belonging At Work Is Essential—Here Are 4 Ways To Foster It (forbes.com)
Facebook, Twitter, Insta, Snapchat...we are drawn social media it like moths to a flame - yet we always get zapped.
The research tells us we are using social media at work - and often for our own purposes, such as taking a break to check in with friends on Instagram or to manage our own on-line presence. Getting distracted by social media at work is a real thing - some of us can get back to work in 20 minutes, but others take two hours to return to the original task.
How we present ourselves can often influence our prospects to get a job. Profanity, bad grammar, reference to illegal drugs, alcohol use and secual content are among the things that deter a potential employer for making a hire.
Why do we do this - well, the brain science says social media triggers the same parts of our brain that are triggered by other addictions such as gambling or alcoholism.
There is disagreement about whether social media is good or bad - and of course, there really is not an answer because it is both good and bad. The good is that we can be inspired and informed by social media. Did you find a great hike you want to take because you saw a picture on Insta? Did something on Twitter alert you about something you could do for a positive change in the world? So many things that can enrich our lives come from social media.
The bad of social media is that it encourages the false self - we do not disclose all of ourselves nor do others disclose all of themselves. We end up believing that everyone is perfectly coiffed and engaged in a meaningful or fun activity, which is a false narrative. The studies on social media report that it generally makes us feel more stress, particularly women, it lowers our mood, increases anxiety and depression, interferes with our sleep and lowers our self-esteem. It dresses our well-being, interferes with relationships. Social media also fosters negative emotions such as envy, belonging and loneliness.
Here are some helpful strategies to make the most of social media without it making the worst of us:
Facebook, Twitter, Insta, Snapchat...we are drawn social media it like moths to a flame - yet we always get zapped.
The research tells us we are using social media at work - and often for our own purposes, such as taking a break to check in with friends on Instagram or to manage our own on-line presence. Getting distracted by social media at work is a real thing - some of us can get back to work in 20 minutes, but others take two hours to return to the original task.
How we present ourselves can often influence our prospects to get a job. Profanity, bad grammar, reference to illegal drugs, alcohol use and secual content are among the things that deter a potential employer for making a hire.
Why do we do this - well, the brain science says social media triggers the same parts of our brain that are triggered by other addictions such as gambling or alcoholism.
There is disagreement about whether social media is good or bad - and of course, there really is not an answer because it is both good and bad. The good is that we can be inspired and informed by social media. Did you find a great hike you want to take because you saw a picture on Insta? Did something on Twitter alert you about something you could do for a positive change in the world? So many things that can enrich our lives come from social media.
The bad of social media is that it encourages the false self - we do not disclose all of ourselves nor do others disclose all of themselves. We end up believing that everyone is perfectly coiffed and engaged in a meaningful or fun activity, which is a false narrative. The studies on social media report that it generally makes us feel more stress, particularly women, it lowers our mood, increases anxiety and depression, interferes with our sleep and lowers our self-esteem. It dresses our well-being, interferes with relationships. Social media also fosters negative emotions such as envy, belonging and loneliness.
Here are some helpful strategies to make the most of social media without it making the worst of us:
When considering the dynamics between cis-gendered men and women in the workplace, the “advice” available in the media on this topic is terrible. Women are told to drink beer, avoid conflict, be kind, learn to golf, keep your personal life private and of course, soften yourself in voice and appearance so you are more attractive to men. Where do we go from this crock of horse manure?!
Crina and Kirsten have discussed the research on women’s behaviors in the workplace and how women excel in almost every leadership capacity. This research is established and has been replicated. It is clear - men and women behave differently in the workplace. Those differences can create conflict.
How do we manage these behavioral differences without drinking beer, playing golf and being less of ourselves? We found some pretty interesting strategies - and some backed my research.
Some more good reads:
How men's and women's brains are different | Stanford Medicine
Research-Based Advice for Women Working in Male-Dominated Fields (hbr.org)
Battle of the Brain: Men Vs. Women [Infographic] | Northwestern Medicine
These are the 7 surprising things I've learned from working with powerful women
When considering the dynamics between cis-gendered men and women in the workplace, the “advice” available in the media on this topic is terrible. Women are told to drink beer, avoid conflict, be kind, learn to golf, keep your personal life private and of course, soften yourself in voice and appearance so you are more attractive to men. Where do we go from this crock of horse manure?!
Crina and Kirsten have discussed the research on women’s behaviors in the workplace and how women excel in almost every leadership capacity. This research is established and has been replicated. It is clear - men and women behave differently in the workplace. Those differences can create conflict.
How do we manage these behavioral differences without drinking beer, playing golf and being less of ourselves? We found some pretty interesting strategies - and some backed my research.
Some more good reads:
How men's and women's brains are different | Stanford Medicine
Research-Based Advice for Women Working in Male-Dominated Fields (hbr.org)
Battle of the Brain: Men Vs. Women [Infographic] | Northwestern Medicine
These are the 7 surprising things I've learned from working with powerful women
Workplace culture is created by the people on your team, your leaders, and the written and unwritten rules that guide behavior. When these “norms” result in feeling psychologically unsafe or they get in the way of your being effective, it is toxic.
Adam Grant says there are two fundamental tensions in organizational culture - the tension between results and relationship and the tension between rules and risk. When these tensions are out of balance, it leads to a toxic workplace.
Grant says the first sin of a toxic workplace is bad behavior - or toxicity. What we are talking about here is disrespectful, demeaning and abusive behavior, people who are non-inclusive, unethical, cutthroat or overly competitive - and of course the list goes on. The workplace where these negative behaviors occur prioritizes results over relationships. This kind of behavior in the workplace is one of the drivers of the great resignation.
If a workplace goes to the other side and flips the focus from results to relationships, we have the second sin, which is mediocracy. These workplaces value relationships above results to such a degree that people are not held accountable. There is no incentive to do a good job because whether you do a good job or a terrible job, the rewards are the same.
The third deadly sin of the toxic workplace is bureaucracy. Bureaucracy helps up manage risk - and that is good. If a culture is focused on rules and procedures to manage risk, then there is no creativity, no change and no risk. As with mediocrity, there is no reward for efficiency, innovation and collaboration.
The other side of bureaucracy is anarchy, the fourth sin of the toxic workplace. In a culture of anarchy, there is all risk and no rules. Anyone can do whatever they want, strategy and structure be damned. No one learns from the past or lands on the same page. It’s pure chaos. Interpersonal relationships are difficult in a culture with no or few rules because everyone is on their own.
Grant has some questions to ask before you take a job to determine culture - and these are great questions for us to ask ourselves about our current work situation:
Tell me what happens here that does not happen in other places?
Tell me about a time when people did not walk the talk here?
Tell me a story about who gets hired, fired and promoted?
Learning about workplace culture is vital before you take a job. For those of us who are currently in jobs, these questions can help us discern our discomfort and take action to address it - whether that means leaving a job, changing our attitudes, accepting what is - or even just getting affirmation that our discomfort is valid.
Workplace culture is created by the people on your team, your leaders, and the written and unwritten rules that guide behavior. When these “norms” result in feeling psychologically unsafe or they get in the way of your being effective, it is toxic.
Adam Grant says there are two fundamental tensions in organizational culture - the tension between results and relationship and the tension between rules and risk. When these tensions are out of balance, it leads to a toxic workplace.
Grant says the first sin of a toxic workplace is bad behavior - or toxicity. What we are talking about here is disrespectful, demeaning and abusive behavior, people who are non-inclusive, unethical, cutthroat or overly competitive - and of course the list goes on. The workplace where these negative behaviors occur prioritizes results over relationships. This kind of behavior in the workplace is one of the drivers of the great resignation.
If a workplace goes to the other side and flips the focus from results to relationships, we have the second sin, which is mediocracy. These workplaces value relationships above results to such a degree that people are not held accountable. There is no incentive to do a good job because whether you do a good job or a terrible job, the rewards are the same.
The third deadly sin of the toxic workplace is bureaucracy. Bureaucracy helps up manage risk - and that is good. If a culture is focused on rules and procedures to manage risk, then there is no creativity, no change and no risk. As with mediocrity, there is no reward for efficiency, innovation and collaboration.
The other side of bureaucracy is anarchy, the fourth sin of the toxic workplace. In a culture of anarchy, there is all risk and no rules. Anyone can do whatever they want, strategy and structure be damned. No one learns from the past or lands on the same page. It’s pure chaos. Interpersonal relationships are difficult in a culture with no or few rules because everyone is on their own.
Grant has some questions to ask before you take a job to determine culture - and these are great questions for us to ask ourselves about our current work situation:
Tell me what happens here that does not happen in other places?
Tell me about a time when people did not walk the talk here?
Tell me a story about who gets hired, fired and promoted?
Learning about workplace culture is vital before you take a job. For those of us who are currently in jobs, these questions can help us discern our discomfort and take action to address it - whether that means leaving a job, changing our attitudes, accepting what is - or even just getting affirmation that our discomfort is valid.
Workplace gossip happens everywhere, so it’s about time we learned how to do it well! Let’s face it–gossip helps us build relationships, understand norms, address bad behavior, and have fun! Unfortunately, gossip has gotten a bad rap…until now.
SHOW NOTES
Researchers define gossip as “talking about someone who is not present” and, according to research, people spend an average of 52 minutes a day gossiping. Gossip is not always negative. In fact, as one study found, most if gossip is actually neutral, and according to researchers - boring.
Since we have this strong impulse to gossip, it is important to get it right and to do it in a way that is not destructive to the workplace. Gossip has a bad rap, and for good reason, but it allows us to feel closer to others at work and can raise trust and intimacy. It also allows us to form workplace norms and to pass on information to others about those norms - and it builds cooperation. And even though gossip can hurt - it drives self-reflection.
The problem with gossip is that unless it is done well, it can cause significant negative impacts in the workplace. Just as gossip can build trust, gossip can erode trust. Gossip can waiste our time and cause anxiety. And of course, gossip can cause hurt feelings and create divisiveness in the workplace.
It is really important to gossip well. Crina and Kirsten have some suggestions:
We are going to gossip in the workplace because we are, well, human, so let’s get it right at work!
Good Read:
The Science Behind Why People Gossip—And When It Can Be a Good Thing
Workplace gossip happens everywhere, so it’s about time we learned how to do it well! Let’s face it–gossip helps us build relationships, understand norms, address bad behavior, and have fun! Unfortunately, gossip has gotten a bad rap…until now.
SHOW NOTES
Researchers define gossip as “talking about someone who is not present” and, according to research, people spend an average of 52 minutes a day gossiping. Gossip is not always negative. In fact, as one study found, most if gossip is actually neutral, and according to researchers - boring.
Since we have this strong impulse to gossip, it is important to get it right and to do it in a way that is not destructive to the workplace. Gossip has a bad rap, and for good reason, but it allows us to feel closer to others at work and can raise trust and intimacy. It also allows us to form workplace norms and to pass on information to others about those norms - and it builds cooperation. And even though gossip can hurt - it drives self-reflection.
The problem with gossip is that unless it is done well, it can cause significant negative impacts in the workplace. Just as gossip can build trust, gossip can erode trust. Gossip can waiste our time and cause anxiety. And of course, gossip can cause hurt feelings and create divisiveness in the workplace.
It is really important to gossip well. Crina and Kirsten have some suggestions:
We are going to gossip in the workplace because we are, well, human, so let’s get it right at work!
Good Read:
The Science Behind Why People Gossip—And When It Can Be a Good Thing
Your success and achievement is the result of your efforts, talents and skills–not luck! So why do many of us still feel like we don’t belong, or even worse, don’t deserve the kudos, rewards, titles and positions that we possess? The answer: Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome was “discovered” in the 1970s by two psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanna Imes. They studied graduate and undergraduate students and found it to be very prevalent in women, ultimately designing a scale and a test to identify levels of imposterism - see the link to the test below. Imposter syndrome is not a mental health diagnosis or condition, rather it is an experience most of us have at some point - and many experience it frequently - up to 80% according to some studies.
Imposterism is the persistent inability to believe one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts; the internal experience of believing one is not as competent as others perceive one to be, a fraud. It is the belief that success and achievement are luck or a coincidence. In low doses, these feelings and beliefs are just part of the human experience. In higher doses, imposterism interferes with our ease, meaning and joy at work.
Imposterism looks like:
And it feels like anxiety,fear and self-doubt.
Interestingly, recent data suggests it is just as prevalent in men - and the effects on men may be more significant and these effects cause more significant impacts to performance.
We can be more vulnerable to imposterism by our upbringing (valuing of achievement, controlling parents, high-levels of conflict); a new experience or challenge; our personality (anxious, lack of confidence, perfectionism).
Consistently, the smart folks have similar strategies to address the imposter syndrome. First - mindset - what if we take the approach that imposter syndrome is a growth opportunity rather than a deficit? Second - tell the truth - the imposter is like a mean friend - call her out with your higher self, your own heroine - or your Sage (remember the foil to our Saboteur?). Have you really always failed? Is this experience really certain to be a disaster? Consider other situations that have been successful - or even not a failure - draw on experiences where your decisions and actions have worked out and apply them to the current situation - spend time revisiting positive experiences and feedback. Peter Shepherd, who has an excellent TedTalk on this subject, calls it the two-step - like a dance - when a negative thought arises, address it with an evidence based analysis of your experience.
Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: a Systematic Review - PubMed (nih.gov)
The Surprising Solution to the Imposter Syndrome | Lou Solomon | TEDxCharlotte - Bing video
What if imposter syndrome is a good thing? | Peter Shepherd | TEDxUniMelb - Bing video
Your success and achievement is the result of your efforts, talents and skills–not luck! So why do many of us still feel like we don’t belong, or even worse, don’t deserve the kudos, rewards, titles and positions that we possess? The answer: Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome was “discovered” in the 1970s by two psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanna Imes. They studied graduate and undergraduate students and found it to be very prevalent in women, ultimately designing a scale and a test to identify levels of imposterism - see the link to the test below. Imposter syndrome is not a mental health diagnosis or condition, rather it is an experience most of us have at some point - and many experience it frequently - up to 80% according to some studies.
Imposterism is the persistent inability to believe one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts; the internal experience of believing one is not as competent as others perceive one to be, a fraud. It is the belief that success and achievement are luck or a coincidence. In low doses, these feelings and beliefs are just part of the human experience. In higher doses, imposterism interferes with our ease, meaning and joy at work.
Imposterism looks like:
And it feels like anxiety,fear and self-doubt.
Interestingly, recent data suggests it is just as prevalent in men - and the effects on men may be more significant and these effects cause more significant impacts to performance.
We can be more vulnerable to imposterism by our upbringing (valuing of achievement, controlling parents, high-levels of conflict); a new experience or challenge; our personality (anxious, lack of confidence, perfectionism).
Consistently, the smart folks have similar strategies to address the imposter syndrome. First - mindset - what if we take the approach that imposter syndrome is a growth opportunity rather than a deficit? Second - tell the truth - the imposter is like a mean friend - call her out with your higher self, your own heroine - or your Sage (remember the foil to our Saboteur?). Have you really always failed? Is this experience really certain to be a disaster? Consider other situations that have been successful - or even not a failure - draw on experiences where your decisions and actions have worked out and apply them to the current situation - spend time revisiting positive experiences and feedback. Peter Shepherd, who has an excellent TedTalk on this subject, calls it the two-step - like a dance - when a negative thought arises, address it with an evidence based analysis of your experience.
Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: a Systematic Review - PubMed (nih.gov)
The Surprising Solution to the Imposter Syndrome | Lou Solomon | TEDxCharlotte - Bing video
What if imposter syndrome is a good thing? | Peter Shepherd | TEDxUniMelb - Bing video
Barriers to success exist everywhere, even inside your head! When you act, or fail to act, in your best interest, you’re actually sabotaging yourself. In this motivational podcast, we discover our very own saboteurs and the many ways to get them out of the driver’s seat.
SHOW NOTES
Self - sabotage is where we undermine our own goals, values, wants and desires, either consciously or unconsciously. We act – or fail to act – based on a set of habits – in a way that is against our interests. This episode was inspired by a friend, but it turns out we all have our own saboteur.
It turns out self-sabotage comes from the patterns and beliefs we developed in early childhood, and into our teens and early 20s, that are designed to help us make sense of the world, protect us from difficult feelings, help us develop…but these patterns may no longer serve us into adulthood. Dealing with your saboteur requires that we raise our self-awareness.
Shirzad Charmine, through his work which he calls Positive Intelligence, offers a process to identify our saboteur and get her out of the driver’s seat of our brains. He proposes we put our higher, wiser self in the driver’s seat – and he calls her our Sage.
Shirzad says there are thoughts and voices in our head that generate negative emotions when we handle life’s challenges. They exist in the brainstem, limbic system, and parts of the left brain and produce much of your stress, anxiety, self-doubt, anger, shame, guilt, frustration, and mind chatter. These negative emotions are only helpful for a second as they alert you to dangers or issues. However, staying in these emotions hurts our ability to see clearly and choose the most impactful response. Our Saboteurs generate all our negative emotions, including stress, anxiety, self-doubt, anger, avoidance, procrastination, insensitivity or discontent. A bit of pain is good - it tells us something, but we are not meant to live there.
Our Sage lives in an entirely different region of our brain, the middle prefrontal cortex, “empathy circuitry”, and parts of the right brain. It generates positive emotions while handling life’s challenges. These include empathy, compassion, gratitude, curiosity, joy of creativity, and calm, clear-headed laser-focused action. This region is wired for creativity and big picture awareness of what is important and the best course of action.
TAKE THE TEST to discover your Saboteur and unseat her!! Shirzad’s site also provides guidance on strategies we are using that do not work for us and will help get our Sage in the driver’s seat. https://www.positiveintelligence.com/ . When we expose our Saboteur, it takes away the power of these not so useful beliefs and responses and allows us to make different choices. Dealing with our Saboteur also requires us to have some empathy for ourselves, get curious, be creative, choose and move into action.
Shirzad’s wish for us is that we rediscover our own amazing, wonderfulness – the essence of ourselves we were born with - and let that truth guide our beliefs, reactions and responses to achieve the magic of ease, meaning and joy. We love this approach.
More Good Reads:
How women self sabotage their career and how to deal with it?
The Nine Ways Women Self-Sabotage
Barriers to success exist everywhere, even inside your head! When you act, or fail to act, in your best interest, you’re actually sabotaging yourself. In this motivational podcast, we discover our very own saboteurs and the many ways to get them out of the driver’s seat.
SHOW NOTES
Self - sabotage is where we undermine our own goals, values, wants and desires, either consciously or unconsciously. We act – or fail to act – based on a set of habits – in a way that is against our interests. This episode was inspired by a friend, but it turns out we all have our own saboteur.
It turns out self-sabotage comes from the patterns and beliefs we developed in early childhood, and into our teens and early 20s, that are designed to help us make sense of the world, protect us from difficult feelings, help us develop…but these patterns may no longer serve us into adulthood. Dealing with your saboteur requires that we raise our self-awareness.
Shirzad Charmine, through his work which he calls Positive Intelligence, offers a process to identify our saboteur and get her out of the driver’s seat of our brains. He proposes we put our higher, wiser self in the driver’s seat – and he calls her our Sage.
Shirzad says there are thoughts and voices in our head that generate negative emotions when we handle life’s challenges. They exist in the brainstem, limbic system, and parts of the left brain and produce much of your stress, anxiety, self-doubt, anger, shame, guilt, frustration, and mind chatter. These negative emotions are only helpful for a second as they alert you to dangers or issues. However, staying in these emotions hurts our ability to see clearly and choose the most impactful response. Our Saboteurs generate all our negative emotions, including stress, anxiety, self-doubt, anger, avoidance, procrastination, insensitivity or discontent. A bit of pain is good - it tells us something, but we are not meant to live there.
Our Sage lives in an entirely different region of our brain, the middle prefrontal cortex, “empathy circuitry”, and parts of the right brain. It generates positive emotions while handling life’s challenges. These include empathy, compassion, gratitude, curiosity, joy of creativity, and calm, clear-headed laser-focused action. This region is wired for creativity and big picture awareness of what is important and the best course of action.
TAKE THE TEST to discover your Saboteur and unseat her!! Shirzad’s site also provides guidance on strategies we are using that do not work for us and will help get our Sage in the driver’s seat. https://www.positiveintelligence.com/ . When we expose our Saboteur, it takes away the power of these not so useful beliefs and responses and allows us to make different choices. Dealing with our Saboteur also requires us to have some empathy for ourselves, get curious, be creative, choose and move into action.
Shirzad’s wish for us is that we rediscover our own amazing, wonderfulness – the essence of ourselves we were born with - and let that truth guide our beliefs, reactions and responses to achieve the magic of ease, meaning and joy. We love this approach.
More Good Reads:
How women self sabotage their career and how to deal with it?
The Nine Ways Women Self-Sabotage
Workplace performance anxiety can strike when you least expect it: in front of a microphone; in a meeting; when dealing with a difficult customer; even during workplace social events. Feeling afraid about your ability to perform a task undermines your success, impacts your team, makes you irritable, and impacts your ability to create meaningful relationships.
SHOW NOTES
Performance anxiety presents itself as racing pulse and rapid breathing, dry mouth, tight throat, trembling hands, knees, voice, sweaty hands, cold hands, nausea - and a queasy stomach. Performance anxiety is often a self-fulfilling prophecy - distracting us from doing our best at whatever we are trying to do.
In 2019 the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (“RADA”), which provides communication skills training for corporate individuals, studied performance anxiety in 1000 workplaces and published a report. RADA found we are most likely to suffer workplace anxiety in job interviews, dealing with disagreements or complaints, delivering big presentations, and even workplace socializing. Men and women experience performance anxiety differently - men experience more performance anxiety around socializing and team-building and women in making presentations to a group, a job interview and asking for a raise.
RADA reports that most of what we are afraid of is really about our ego - looking stupid, agreeing to something we do not want to do, worrying what people think of us, we are not good enough - interestingly, we worry less about losing our job or not getting a promotion. This makes sense when we remember that we seek psychological safety and validation from others.
What do we do about this? Here are some tips to deal with performance anxiety:
Performance anxiety is something that affects most of us - and it turns out the impact is pretty significant - so try some of these strategies and move your energy to doing your best job to move yourself out of performance anxiety and into performance!
Workplace performance anxiety can strike when you least expect it: in front of a microphone; in a meeting; when dealing with a difficult customer; even during workplace social events. Feeling afraid about your ability to perform a task undermines your success, impacts your team, makes you irritable, and impacts your ability to create meaningful relationships.
SHOW NOTES
Performance anxiety presents itself as racing pulse and rapid breathing, dry mouth, tight throat, trembling hands, knees, voice, sweaty hands, cold hands, nausea - and a queasy stomach. Performance anxiety is often a self-fulfilling prophecy - distracting us from doing our best at whatever we are trying to do.
In 2019 the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts (“RADA”), which provides communication skills training for corporate individuals, studied performance anxiety in 1000 workplaces and published a report. RADA found we are most likely to suffer workplace anxiety in job interviews, dealing with disagreements or complaints, delivering big presentations, and even workplace socializing. Men and women experience performance anxiety differently - men experience more performance anxiety around socializing and team-building and women in making presentations to a group, a job interview and asking for a raise.
RADA reports that most of what we are afraid of is really about our ego - looking stupid, agreeing to something we do not want to do, worrying what people think of us, we are not good enough - interestingly, we worry less about losing our job or not getting a promotion. This makes sense when we remember that we seek psychological safety and validation from others.
What do we do about this? Here are some tips to deal with performance anxiety:
Performance anxiety is something that affects most of us - and it turns out the impact is pretty significant - so try some of these strategies and move your energy to doing your best job to move yourself out of performance anxiety and into performance!
Every day is fraught with problems large and small. From feeling “stuck” on a project, to tackling a major meltdown, you are likely solving problems all day every day. How do you know if you’re hitting the mark? What’s your process to find the best solution? Are you inspiring creativity or simply checking the boxes?
SHOW NOTES
According to the World Economic Forum 2020 Future of Jobs Report, the top key skills of tomorrow’s labor market are centered on problem solving - analytical thinking, active learning, complex problem-solving, critical thinking and analysis and of course, creativity, originality and initiative. We know from our daily lives these skills are important and the data supports us.
So what do we do with the myriad of problems, big and small in our lives? First, remember that problems are an opportunity to make something better and relieve suffering and discomfort. Second, identify the problem, which many people find to be the hardest part of problem solving. Sometimes we solve for the symptoms and not the problem, so get real curious about the root of the problem. Third, generate multiple solutions to create lots of options to choose from. It is easy to find one solution and go for it, but taking time can allow creativity to work and often results in an even better idea to solve the problem. Once we have long lists of great solutions, we can choose the best one - and afterwards, re-evaluate to ensure we solved the problem.
Creativity and innovation are extremely important to problem solving and making the most of the opportunity a problem creates. There are steps we can take to increase our creativity - again start with that open and abundant mindset, which helps us remember all (or many, many) things are possible. Collaboration and cross-pollination - which means including other people in the process. These are rich soils in which to grow creativity.
And some helpful hints on problem solving . . .
The basics are important in problem solving. Sometimes a glass of water and a snack - and maybe even a walk - are just the things we need physically to support the brain power needed for effective and creative problem solving.
Keep an eye out for when it is time to let things go. Sometimes there is no good solution, which means it is time to consider whether we can eliminate the problem, reduce its impact, pass it to someone else or even put off finding a solution until the circumstances are different.
Lastly, be careful of problems that are not ours to solve. Solving for other people’s feelings, other people’s job responsibilities, other people’s mistakes or omissions, can sometimes be a kindness, but is often part of a pattern of dysfunction.
We know we will have a problem today - how can we create more ease, meaning and joy from it?
Every day is fraught with problems large and small. From feeling “stuck” on a project, to tackling a major meltdown, you are likely solving problems all day every day. How do you know if you’re hitting the mark? What’s your process to find the best solution? Are you inspiring creativity or simply checking the boxes?
SHOW NOTES
According to the World Economic Forum 2020 Future of Jobs Report, the top key skills of tomorrow’s labor market are centered on problem solving - analytical thinking, active learning, complex problem-solving, critical thinking and analysis and of course, creativity, originality and initiative. We know from our daily lives these skills are important and the data supports us.
So what do we do with the myriad of problems, big and small in our lives? First, remember that problems are an opportunity to make something better and relieve suffering and discomfort. Second, identify the problem, which many people find to be the hardest part of problem solving. Sometimes we solve for the symptoms and not the problem, so get real curious about the root of the problem. Third, generate multiple solutions to create lots of options to choose from. It is easy to find one solution and go for it, but taking time can allow creativity to work and often results in an even better idea to solve the problem. Once we have long lists of great solutions, we can choose the best one - and afterwards, re-evaluate to ensure we solved the problem.
Creativity and innovation are extremely important to problem solving and making the most of the opportunity a problem creates. There are steps we can take to increase our creativity - again start with that open and abundant mindset, which helps us remember all (or many, many) things are possible. Collaboration and cross-pollination - which means including other people in the process. These are rich soils in which to grow creativity.
And some helpful hints on problem solving . . .
The basics are important in problem solving. Sometimes a glass of water and a snack - and maybe even a walk - are just the things we need physically to support the brain power needed for effective and creative problem solving.
Keep an eye out for when it is time to let things go. Sometimes there is no good solution, which means it is time to consider whether we can eliminate the problem, reduce its impact, pass it to someone else or even put off finding a solution until the circumstances are different.
Lastly, be careful of problems that are not ours to solve. Solving for other people’s feelings, other people’s job responsibilities, other people’s mistakes or omissions, can sometimes be a kindness, but is often part of a pattern of dysfunction.
We know we will have a problem today - how can we create more ease, meaning and joy from it?
Iceland’s First Lady, Eliza Reid’s recent book, The Sprakar: Iceland’s Extraordinary Women, inspired this timely exploration of the policies, strategies and approaches Iceland has used to achieve its first place spot in gender equity. The word Sprakar means wise, powerful woman. Wow - a language with a name for a bad-ass woman! Here is some of what she has to say:
Iceland holds to #1 spot in the world in gender equity according to the World Economic Forum Gender Gap Index. The US is ranked #53. Most striking, 88% of Icelandic women work outside the home while only 57.4% of US women work outside the home. What is going on in Iceland?!
HELPING PARENTS HELPS US ALL
Comprehensive healthcare for pregnant moms removes the burden of not having adequate prenatal and maternal care. The government provides leave to both parents - up to 9 months between the 2 parents. Subsidized high-quality childcare is available in most neighborhoods. The government offers pre-k education along with a traditional schooling system, plus after school programming. Iceland believes that supporting families supports society at large - and women who work.
STRENGTH IN SISTERHOOD
Women in Iceland have a long tradition of creating social networks and groups to foster connection. In the past, it may have been a knitting or crafting group or a group that organized around philanthropy, while today it may be a cold water swimming group, hiking, art or other interest group.
STIGMA FREE SEXUALITY
Iceland has a relatively stigma- free culture of sexuality. Transgender people feel alot of acceptance in Iceland. Iceland’s results tell us when women and transgender people’s sexuality is not judged and controlled, women experience more equity.
CLAIMING THE CORPORATE PURSE STRINGS
Iceland has adopted broad laws that require equity. Its pay equity law requires businesses to prove pay equity. It has also adopted a law to require 40% membership on corporate boards of directors. Both of these laws have led to significant progress on both issues.
When we talk about what we can do to create ease, meaning and joy for women at work, Iceland may be the best place for us to look.
Iceland’s First Lady, Eliza Reid’s recent book, The Sprakar: Iceland’s Extraordinary Women, inspired this timely exploration of the policies, strategies and approaches Iceland has used to achieve its first place spot in gender equity. The word Sprakar means wise, powerful woman. Wow - a language with a name for a bad-ass woman! Here is some of what she has to say:
Iceland holds to #1 spot in the world in gender equity according to the World Economic Forum Gender Gap Index. The US is ranked #53. Most striking, 88% of Icelandic women work outside the home while only 57.4% of US women work outside the home. What is going on in Iceland?!
HELPING PARENTS HELPS US ALL
Comprehensive healthcare for pregnant moms removes the burden of not having adequate prenatal and maternal care. The government provides leave to both parents - up to 9 months between the 2 parents. Subsidized high-quality childcare is available in most neighborhoods. The government offers pre-k education along with a traditional schooling system, plus after school programming. Iceland believes that supporting families supports society at large - and women who work.
STRENGTH IN SISTERHOOD
Women in Iceland have a long tradition of creating social networks and groups to foster connection. In the past, it may have been a knitting or crafting group or a group that organized around philanthropy, while today it may be a cold water swimming group, hiking, art or other interest group.
STIGMA FREE SEXUALITY
Iceland has a relatively stigma- free culture of sexuality. Transgender people feel alot of acceptance in Iceland. Iceland’s results tell us when women and transgender people’s sexuality is not judged and controlled, women experience more equity.
CLAIMING THE CORPORATE PURSE STRINGS
Iceland has adopted broad laws that require equity. Its pay equity law requires businesses to prove pay equity. It has also adopted a law to require 40% membership on corporate boards of directors. Both of these laws have led to significant progress on both issues.
When we talk about what we can do to create ease, meaning and joy for women at work, Iceland may be the best place for us to look.
Toxic coworkers–we know ‘em when we see ‘em. They’re passive aggressive, short/curt, rude people, lacking self-awareness with narcissistic tendencies who do not take responsibility, may gaslight us, take credit for others’ accomplishments and make our lives miserable!
THE EFFECTS OF TOXICITY
Toxic coworkers suck up all the time, money and energy in the workplace. In the article “How Toxic Colleagues Corrode Performance,” the authors polled thousands of managers and employees on the receiving end of antisocial behavior from a colleague and found that work quality and quantity of work decreased and folks also lost time - in terms of hours worked, avoiding that coworker or worrying about that coworker.
The data also support the toxic coworker is often responsible for team dysfunction. Functional teams are often called loyalist teams. Dysfunctional teams are often called saboteur teams - and no surprise, are significantly more likely to contain a toxic coworker.
TOXIC TOP PERFORMER
Many people believe we need to put up with toxic behavior if the person is a top performer. It turns out this is another one of those upside down common beliefs in the workplace. The paradox for leaders is that the common traits of a toxic worker can mean they are a top performer in the company. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic writes in his article “Why Bad Guys Win at Work,” “for some toxic employees there is a bright side to their dark side. For example, Machiavellian traits such as superficial charm, charisma, self-confidence and interpersonal manipulation can be valuable when developing new client relationships. Likewise, toxic employees with narcissistic tendencies such as ruthlessness and selfishness can be the most productive – driven to achieve their targets whatever the cost.”
According to Michael Mccoby in the Harvard Business review there is clear evidence that productivity and performance do not justify or make up for the toxic worker. “Narcissistic Leaders: The Incredible Pros, the Inevitable Cons.” Rather, it turns out these workers’ negative effect in the workplace is not justified by performance or productivity contributions. Chamarro-Premuzic says, “[t]heir [toxic employees] success comes at a price, and that price is paid by the organization.”.
WHAT TO DO?
Try an honest conversation with the person engaging in the behavior - this is usually always the place to start as long as you feel safe. Research shows that most of us lack self-awareness, especially at work - so a conversation can be very helpful. Remember - feedback is a sign of functional teams.
Do not stoop to their level, keep your ego in check and practice empathy. Keeping an eye out for your own fight-or-flight response can help you with these tactics. Some of these toxic behaviors can really tigger us - and our ego. Keep the high ground. We can even try some empathy - we know that crummy behavior is a terrible burden and gets in the way of not just our ease, meaning and joy - but the toxic worker’s as well - and don’t leave yourself out of a big dose of empathy.
Talking with your boss about the behavior and getting some support can be very helpful. Sometimes bosses are not aware of the extent of the problem.
Take Care of Yourself. We need to be vigilant about our own emotional, psychological and physical health.
Let’s do some hazardous waste removal, remediation and containment!
Toxic coworkers–we know ‘em when we see ‘em. They’re passive aggressive, short/curt, rude people, lacking self-awareness with narcissistic tendencies who do not take responsibility, may gaslight us, take credit for others’ accomplishments and make our lives miserable!
THE EFFECTS OF TOXICITY
Toxic coworkers suck up all the time, money and energy in the workplace. In the article “How Toxic Colleagues Corrode Performance,” the authors polled thousands of managers and employees on the receiving end of antisocial behavior from a colleague and found that work quality and quantity of work decreased and folks also lost time - in terms of hours worked, avoiding that coworker or worrying about that coworker.
The data also support the toxic coworker is often responsible for team dysfunction. Functional teams are often called loyalist teams. Dysfunctional teams are often called saboteur teams - and no surprise, are significantly more likely to contain a toxic coworker.
TOXIC TOP PERFORMER
Many people believe we need to put up with toxic behavior if the person is a top performer. It turns out this is another one of those upside down common beliefs in the workplace. The paradox for leaders is that the common traits of a toxic worker can mean they are a top performer in the company. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic writes in his article “Why Bad Guys Win at Work,” “for some toxic employees there is a bright side to their dark side. For example, Machiavellian traits such as superficial charm, charisma, self-confidence and interpersonal manipulation can be valuable when developing new client relationships. Likewise, toxic employees with narcissistic tendencies such as ruthlessness and selfishness can be the most productive – driven to achieve their targets whatever the cost.”
According to Michael Mccoby in the Harvard Business review there is clear evidence that productivity and performance do not justify or make up for the toxic worker. “Narcissistic Leaders: The Incredible Pros, the Inevitable Cons.” Rather, it turns out these workers’ negative effect in the workplace is not justified by performance or productivity contributions. Chamarro-Premuzic says, “[t]heir [toxic employees] success comes at a price, and that price is paid by the organization.”.
WHAT TO DO?
Try an honest conversation with the person engaging in the behavior - this is usually always the place to start as long as you feel safe. Research shows that most of us lack self-awareness, especially at work - so a conversation can be very helpful. Remember - feedback is a sign of functional teams.
Do not stoop to their level, keep your ego in check and practice empathy. Keeping an eye out for your own fight-or-flight response can help you with these tactics. Some of these toxic behaviors can really tigger us - and our ego. Keep the high ground. We can even try some empathy - we know that crummy behavior is a terrible burden and gets in the way of not just our ease, meaning and joy - but the toxic worker’s as well - and don’t leave yourself out of a big dose of empathy.
Talking with your boss about the behavior and getting some support can be very helpful. Sometimes bosses are not aware of the extent of the problem.
Take Care of Yourself. We need to be vigilant about our own emotional, psychological and physical health.
Let’s do some hazardous waste removal, remediation and containment!
When you describe your mood as “blah,” “meh,” “decent, but not great,” you might be LANGUISHING, which can dampen your mood, impact your work and conflict with your ability to experience ease, meaning and joy! In the last few years, the feeling of languishing has been pervasive and profound, especially for women. But there is hope! Join us as we explore this topic and discover simple actions that can help you move from languishing to flourishing.
SHOWNOTES
We have a new word to describe our experience at work - LANGUISHING. Crina and Kirsten check in with the smart people and the data to figure out languishing. According to the American Psychology Association, languishing is the condition of absence of mental health, characterized by ennui, apathy, listlessness, and loss of interest in life. Crina knows she is languishing when she is doom scrolling on her phone or computer. Kirsten tends to be a Sunday languisher - when all of the activity and stress of the week catch up with her.
At work, languishing looks like:
Languishing is not a mental health disorder, but it is the opposite of flourishing. Lynn Soots describes flourishing as “the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.” Important note here - flourishing is a state of being - a process.
Research suggests those who languish are more likely to experience serious mental illness later. This can include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders, and major depression. Adam Grant, in his famous New York Times article on languishing says, “[l]anguishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.” New evidence from pandemic health care workers in Italy shows that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Adam Grant suggests a few antidotes to languishing:
According to Dr. Martin Seligman’s research on flourishing, the best way to move from languishing to flourishing is the PERMA model.. It stands for:
And remember - flourishing is a process - not an end-game.
Are You Languishing? Here's How to Regain Your Sense of Purpose
Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED Talk
Feeling Blah During the Pandemic? It's Called Languishing - The New York Times
When you describe your mood as “blah,” “meh,” “decent, but not great,” you might be LANGUISHING, which can dampen your mood, impact your work and conflict with your ability to experience ease, meaning and joy! In the last few years, the feeling of languishing has been pervasive and profound, especially for women. But there is hope! Join us as we explore this topic and discover simple actions that can help you move from languishing to flourishing.
SHOWNOTES
We have a new word to describe our experience at work - LANGUISHING. Crina and Kirsten check in with the smart people and the data to figure out languishing. According to the American Psychology Association, languishing is the condition of absence of mental health, characterized by ennui, apathy, listlessness, and loss of interest in life. Crina knows she is languishing when she is doom scrolling on her phone or computer. Kirsten tends to be a Sunday languisher - when all of the activity and stress of the week catch up with her.
At work, languishing looks like:
Languishing is not a mental health disorder, but it is the opposite of flourishing. Lynn Soots describes flourishing as “the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.” Important note here - flourishing is a state of being - a process.
Research suggests those who languish are more likely to experience serious mental illness later. This can include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders, and major depression. Adam Grant, in his famous New York Times article on languishing says, “[l]anguishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.” New evidence from pandemic health care workers in Italy shows that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Adam Grant suggests a few antidotes to languishing:
According to Dr. Martin Seligman’s research on flourishing, the best way to move from languishing to flourishing is the PERMA model.. It stands for:
And remember - flourishing is a process - not an end-game.
Are You Languishing? Here's How to Regain Your Sense of Purpose
Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED Talk
Feeling Blah During the Pandemic? It's Called Languishing - The New York Times
Do you want to achieve the objective markers of success such as money, power and status? Perhaps you are seeking more subjective things such as challenging work, recognition or autonomy. Regardless of how you define success, the way to achieve it is through deep personal work, commitment and grit.
SHOW NOTES
What is success at work to you? You can think about a job well done, tasks completed, a healthy team, and you can also think on a larger scale about a successful career. The data shows that your definition of success changes as you get more experience, and is sometimes a reflection of where you live and who you live with - the external definitions of success can have a powerful impact on you. The focus of this episode is the big picture of success and a subjective definition that aligns with each of our values, allows for authenticity, makes the best use of our skills and talents and challenges us to grow.
Traditional markers of career success such as title, salary, promotions, and the like are great to a point, but they are not the whole picture and are missing some of the important considerations. Harvard Business Review points us to the subjective measures of success:
Success requires a growth mindset, goal setting and tracking, authenticity and self awareness and confidence. Success is a long trajectory and will come with setbacks and change - these are the prickly parts to embrace as we create our own versions of success. As we define success for ourselves and move in that direction by setting goals and monitoring our progress, it is important to remember the big picture and treat not only the achievements but also the learnings along the way as markers that we are on the path to success, as we each define it.
Rethink What You “Know” About High-Achieving Women (hbr.org)
Make Your Career a Success by Your Own Measure
5 Ways Success Can Change Someone | Psychology Today
Do you want to achieve the objective markers of success such as money, power and status? Perhaps you are seeking more subjective things such as challenging work, recognition or autonomy. Regardless of how you define success, the way to achieve it is through deep personal work, commitment and grit.
SHOW NOTES
What is success at work to you? You can think about a job well done, tasks completed, a healthy team, and you can also think on a larger scale about a successful career. The data shows that your definition of success changes as you get more experience, and is sometimes a reflection of where you live and who you live with - the external definitions of success can have a powerful impact on you. The focus of this episode is the big picture of success and a subjective definition that aligns with each of our values, allows for authenticity, makes the best use of our skills and talents and challenges us to grow.
Traditional markers of career success such as title, salary, promotions, and the like are great to a point, but they are not the whole picture and are missing some of the important considerations. Harvard Business Review points us to the subjective measures of success:
Success requires a growth mindset, goal setting and tracking, authenticity and self awareness and confidence. Success is a long trajectory and will come with setbacks and change - these are the prickly parts to embrace as we create our own versions of success. As we define success for ourselves and move in that direction by setting goals and monitoring our progress, it is important to remember the big picture and treat not only the achievements but also the learnings along the way as markers that we are on the path to success, as we each define it.
Rethink What You “Know” About High-Achieving Women (hbr.org)
Make Your Career a Success by Your Own Measure
5 Ways Success Can Change Someone | Psychology Today
Teamwork doesn’t have to suck! In fact, magic can happen when team members tend to each others’ basic needs–most notably, their psychological safety. Psychological safety is the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. Seems like a direct line to ease, meaning and joy!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle teams at work. For those of us who have been on good teams, we know the benefits:
The question is how to create great teams. Google, with all of its data and metrics and algorithms, conducted a five year study of its teams (called Project Aristotle) to try to distinguish what makes a good team versus a dysfunctional team. It turns out that psychological safety is at the root of what makes an effective team. Psychological safety is the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. The Google Study tells us about the core attribute of effective teams, but how do we create the special sauce of psychological safety.
According to Dr. Timothy Clark, author of The 4 Stages of Psychological Safety: Defining the Path to Inclusion and Innovation, employees have to progress through 4 stages before they feel free to make valuable contributions and challenge the status quo. The first stage is inclusion safety and is that basic need to connect and belong - which is really about bringing your unique self and being accepted to full participation in the group. The second is learner safety, which satisfies our need as humans to learn and grow - where we can ask questions, make mistakes, where failure is an opportunity and not a punishment. The third stage is contributor safety and is the place we satisfy our need to make a difference - it means we have a place to use our skills and talents. The fourth stage is challenger safety, which meets our need to make things better and to speak up to challenge the status quo - and requires the ability to effectively deal with conflict.
It turns out not only Google has concluded this concept of psychological safety is the hallmark of the most high performing teams, but so has Harvard University in a study of teams during Covid. What were these folks on effective teams doing? They were communicating more, particularly by phone, making an average 10 .1 calls per day as opposed to 6.1 for those teams who were less successful. They were also running more efficient meetings - agendas, meeting preparation - which set the stage for more fruitful interactions. These folks are also interacting with each other outside of work - the most effective teams were not always working together, but also playing together. The Covid success teams were also recognizing each other with more frequency - for good work, for meeting challenges and the like - not just management, but among each other. What we learned from the Project Aristotle Study was true here as well - the people on the successful teams felt they could be authentic at work.
This is a podcast about women and work and ease meaning and joy, so here is the juicy nugget about women and teams . . . Scientists at MIT, Carnegie Mellon, and Union College suggest the most efficient groups — the ones who are the best at collaborating, analyzing problems, and solving them the fastest and most effectively — had three things in common, one of which was simply that they had more women. Yesss! If we want more successful teams - just add more women - and of course psychological safety.
Good Reads:
The Secret To Efficient Teamwork Is Ridiculously Simple
The benefits of teamwork (as proven by science) - Work Life by Atlassian
What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team - The New York Times
The Secrets of Great Teamwork The benefits of teamwork (as proven by science) - Work Life by Atlassian
5 Things High-Performing Teams Do Differently
What Is Psychological Safety at Work? | CCL
Teamwork doesn’t have to suck! In fact, magic can happen when team members tend to each others’ basic needs–most notably, their psychological safety. Psychological safety is the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. Seems like a direct line to ease, meaning and joy!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle teams at work. For those of us who have been on good teams, we know the benefits:
The question is how to create great teams. Google, with all of its data and metrics and algorithms, conducted a five year study of its teams (called Project Aristotle) to try to distinguish what makes a good team versus a dysfunctional team. It turns out that psychological safety is at the root of what makes an effective team. Psychological safety is the belief that you won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes. The Google Study tells us about the core attribute of effective teams, but how do we create the special sauce of psychological safety.
According to Dr. Timothy Clark, author of The 4 Stages of Psychological Safety: Defining the Path to Inclusion and Innovation, employees have to progress through 4 stages before they feel free to make valuable contributions and challenge the status quo. The first stage is inclusion safety and is that basic need to connect and belong - which is really about bringing your unique self and being accepted to full participation in the group. The second is learner safety, which satisfies our need as humans to learn and grow - where we can ask questions, make mistakes, where failure is an opportunity and not a punishment. The third stage is contributor safety and is the place we satisfy our need to make a difference - it means we have a place to use our skills and talents. The fourth stage is challenger safety, which meets our need to make things better and to speak up to challenge the status quo - and requires the ability to effectively deal with conflict.
It turns out not only Google has concluded this concept of psychological safety is the hallmark of the most high performing teams, but so has Harvard University in a study of teams during Covid. What were these folks on effective teams doing? They were communicating more, particularly by phone, making an average 10 .1 calls per day as opposed to 6.1 for those teams who were less successful. They were also running more efficient meetings - agendas, meeting preparation - which set the stage for more fruitful interactions. These folks are also interacting with each other outside of work - the most effective teams were not always working together, but also playing together. The Covid success teams were also recognizing each other with more frequency - for good work, for meeting challenges and the like - not just management, but among each other. What we learned from the Project Aristotle Study was true here as well - the people on the successful teams felt they could be authentic at work.
This is a podcast about women and work and ease meaning and joy, so here is the juicy nugget about women and teams . . . Scientists at MIT, Carnegie Mellon, and Union College suggest the most efficient groups — the ones who are the best at collaborating, analyzing problems, and solving them the fastest and most effectively — had three things in common, one of which was simply that they had more women. Yesss! If we want more successful teams - just add more women - and of course psychological safety.
Good Reads:
The Secret To Efficient Teamwork Is Ridiculously Simple
The benefits of teamwork (as proven by science) - Work Life by Atlassian
What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team - The New York Times
The Secrets of Great Teamwork The benefits of teamwork (as proven by science) - Work Life by Atlassian
5 Things High-Performing Teams Do Differently
What Is Psychological Safety at Work? | CCL
The post pandemic workplace is predicted to look very different from that of the past. With changes to our lives, our shifting priorities, the low unemployment rate, and the different expectations we have of our jobs, workers are driving change at a rapid rate. In this episode, we explore a new study that reveals the data that will likely shape our workplaces into the future.
SHOW NOTES
We know that work is changing. 58% of workers feel the pandemic forced them to rethink work-life balance and 25% of workers have changed jobs. According to a new report from Bain and Company, the new workplace is driving a significant change in the balance of power between employees and companies - and leaders are rethinking their approach to talent.
Bain & Company engaged in an in-depth research project to help us define the broader implications of the future of work and identified five key themes that will reshape work into the future.
Motivations for work are changing - the reasons we go to work are changing. With the decline in social institutions such as churches and social clubs, people are increasingly seeking out social connection at work. As countries become more prosperous, the importance of leisure activities rises. And of course - people are looking for meaning and a sense of higher purpose, including a commitment to
Beliefs about what makes a good job are changing - Bain & Company identified 10 dimensions of a job - and the dimensions are those factors folks consider in determining what makes a good job. These are factors such as how much of identity comes from work, how important status is, our financial motivation, autonomy, camaraderie, future orientation, variety, mystery and ability to make a difference. These dimensions led Bain & Company to conclude that while we are all different - there are six meta categories of workers: Operators, Givers, Artisans, Explorers, Strivers, and Pioneers.
Automation is rehumanizing word, which we see in automation, the ability of the internet to do our work for us and in new processes and technologies to make work easier.
Technological change is blurring boundaries of the firm in that we are almost always available to work and always always available to our personal lives.
Younger workers are increasingly overwhelmed. Younger workers have been exposed to political polarization, geopolitical tensions, and concerns about climate change, not to mention a pandemic.
And then our hosts take us through the best part of the study and report - so what? Bain & Company suggests that this means that employers get better at being talent makers as opposed to talent takers - which means more focus and investment in learning and a growth mindset. Employers will also need to stop managing workers like machines and manage for individuals. This means a greater focus on mental health and recognizing that mental health is a key component of overall worker health. Lastly, Bain & Company believes that successful firms will build an organization that offers a sense of belonging and opportunity for its many unique workers while remaining united through a shared vision and communal values. As workers, Crina and Kirsten believe recognizing what archetype we each are and what we need from work, engaging in ways to boost our understanding and experience with tech are both important for the worker. Oh - yeah - and they suggest being crazy kind to yourself because the world is bat shit crazy.
The Working Future: More Human, Not Less | Bain & Company
The post pandemic workplace is predicted to look very different from that of the past. With changes to our lives, our shifting priorities, the low unemployment rate, and the different expectations we have of our jobs, workers are driving change at a rapid rate. In this episode, we explore a new study that reveals the data that will likely shape our workplaces into the future.
SHOW NOTES
We know that work is changing. 58% of workers feel the pandemic forced them to rethink work-life balance and 25% of workers have changed jobs. According to a new report from Bain and Company, the new workplace is driving a significant change in the balance of power between employees and companies - and leaders are rethinking their approach to talent.
Bain & Company engaged in an in-depth research project to help us define the broader implications of the future of work and identified five key themes that will reshape work into the future.
Motivations for work are changing - the reasons we go to work are changing. With the decline in social institutions such as churches and social clubs, people are increasingly seeking out social connection at work. As countries become more prosperous, the importance of leisure activities rises. And of course - people are looking for meaning and a sense of higher purpose, including a commitment to
Beliefs about what makes a good job are changing - Bain & Company identified 10 dimensions of a job - and the dimensions are those factors folks consider in determining what makes a good job. These are factors such as how much of identity comes from work, how important status is, our financial motivation, autonomy, camaraderie, future orientation, variety, mystery and ability to make a difference. These dimensions led Bain & Company to conclude that while we are all different - there are six meta categories of workers: Operators, Givers, Artisans, Explorers, Strivers, and Pioneers.
Automation is rehumanizing word, which we see in automation, the ability of the internet to do our work for us and in new processes and technologies to make work easier.
Technological change is blurring boundaries of the firm in that we are almost always available to work and always always available to our personal lives.
Younger workers are increasingly overwhelmed. Younger workers have been exposed to political polarization, geopolitical tensions, and concerns about climate change, not to mention a pandemic.
And then our hosts take us through the best part of the study and report - so what? Bain & Company suggests that this means that employers get better at being talent makers as opposed to talent takers - which means more focus and investment in learning and a growth mindset. Employers will also need to stop managing workers like machines and manage for individuals. This means a greater focus on mental health and recognizing that mental health is a key component of overall worker health. Lastly, Bain & Company believes that successful firms will build an organization that offers a sense of belonging and opportunity for its many unique workers while remaining united through a shared vision and communal values. As workers, Crina and Kirsten believe recognizing what archetype we each are and what we need from work, engaging in ways to boost our understanding and experience with tech are both important for the worker. Oh - yeah - and they suggest being crazy kind to yourself because the world is bat shit crazy.
The Working Future: More Human, Not Less | Bain & Company
Women occupy the majority of roles in education, social work and health care. We spend our work days caring for the young, old, sick, and infirmed. We teach, care, give, love, nurture, heal, and serve. Our work educates the next generation, provides a safety-net for the vulnerable, heals the sick, and feeds the hungry. This episode pays tribute to the women who hold up the world.
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is in honor of and devoted to caregivers - those people, primarily women, who have devoted their professional lives to caring for others.
Caregivers always play an important role in our communities, but with Covid-19, they have played a superhero role.
The episode explores women as professional caregivers, what professional caregiver roles remain difficult to acquire despite the fact that women dominate these fields; the challenges in the workplace for caregivers and ways we can support caregivers.
When you listen to this episode, think about the news reports we saw on television during the pandemic showing the appreciation the Italians showed caregivers at the change of shift - applause, music and singing, hoots and hollers. If you are a caregiver, we hope you feel seen and celebrated and if you are not a caregiver, we hope to deepen your appreciation for these very important workers.
Good reads:
How Millions of Women Became the Most Essential Workers in America - The New York Times
Women in the labor force: a databook : BLS Reports
Women in health care suffer burnout disproportionately to men - ABC News
Caring for our caregivers during COVID-19 | American Medical Association
Women occupy the majority of roles in education, social work and health care. We spend our work days caring for the young, old, sick, and infirmed. We teach, care, give, love, nurture, heal, and serve. Our work educates the next generation, provides a safety-net for the vulnerable, heals the sick, and feeds the hungry. This episode pays tribute to the women who hold up the world.
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is in honor of and devoted to caregivers - those people, primarily women, who have devoted their professional lives to caring for others.
Caregivers always play an important role in our communities, but with Covid-19, they have played a superhero role.
The episode explores women as professional caregivers, what professional caregiver roles remain difficult to acquire despite the fact that women dominate these fields; the challenges in the workplace for caregivers and ways we can support caregivers.
When you listen to this episode, think about the news reports we saw on television during the pandemic showing the appreciation the Italians showed caregivers at the change of shift - applause, music and singing, hoots and hollers. If you are a caregiver, we hope you feel seen and celebrated and if you are not a caregiver, we hope to deepen your appreciation for these very important workers.
Good reads:
How Millions of Women Became the Most Essential Workers in America - The New York Times
Women in the labor force: a databook : BLS Reports
Women in health care suffer burnout disproportionately to men - ABC News
Caring for our caregivers during COVID-19 | American Medical Association
High-achieving women accomplish their goals, are highly skilled, and get the most out of themselves and their experiences; whatever they may be. They approach their careers and their lives with five key themes: agency, authenticity, connection, self-clarity, and wholeness (according to research from the Center for Creative Leadership).
Agency is fundamentally about us being the captain of our own ship and shaping our lives (and our jobs). Ruth Mahoney, President of KeyBank Hudson Valley / Metro NY District, who is responsible for dozens of regional banks suggests being specific and focused in developing our careers. She believes it is important to make our aspirations known, and asking for and being open to feedback - and then actually doing something with that feedback.
Authenticity is about being genuine - showing up in all areas of our lives as who we really are. We can see this in Kathleen Tierney, Executive Vice President and COO of Chubb Insurance, in how she deals with a mistake. She recommends owning up and acknowledging the mistake and considering what we can do with the information we glean. Authenticity requires vulnerability and curiosity - and these are great tools to deal with our mistakes. When we are living authentically, mistakes do not destroy our view of ourselves, rather mistakes are information to consider. Because mistakes are necessary in achieving or learning almost anything, managing mistakes is critically important to achievement.
The study also found that connection with other humans is a characteristic of high-achieving women - both professionally and personally. Tierney tells us that personal relationships have been key to her success in the workplace, and we know from the study that relationships outside actually support us inside the workplace.
The study refers to this as self-clarity. Self-clarity comes from understanding our values, motivations, and behaviors. It’s the desire to have a greater sense of self. Stacy Musi, a black belt in karate and managing director of Chadick Ellig Executive Search Firm, believes that establishing credibility is key to achieving our goals. To be credible, we really need to understand ourselves. Musi’s advice on credibility is an interesting mix of self-clarity and authenticity.
The last aspect of high-achievement the study points out is wholeness - which is the desire for experiences beyond work and the integration of those experiences with our work lives. It turns out high-achieving women value multiple roles, life beyond work, and a broader definition of success. The study notes that high-achieving women can feel fractured and are sometimes concerned about whether they are living in the wholeness, but it is nonetheless of great importance. This is encouraging because it tells us that there is a path to having wholeness in our life, which may in the end be the definition of “having it all.”
These five characteristics of high-achievement show up as tenacity, competence, results driven, vision, a focus on strengths, understanding the power of failure and apologies, not sweating the small stuff, stress tolerance, and emotional intelligence.
As we create our own definitions of achievement and work towards whatever that is, these five characteristics are important tools as we build lives that create an opportunity for ease, meaning and joy.
Some Good Reads:
5 Key Themes for High-Achieving Women Leaders
The six personality traits of high-achieving women in the workplace (smh.com.au)
High-achieving women accomplish their goals, are highly skilled, and get the most out of themselves and their experiences; whatever they may be. They approach their careers and their lives with five key themes: agency, authenticity, connection, self-clarity, and wholeness (according to research from the Center for Creative Leadership).
Agency is fundamentally about us being the captain of our own ship and shaping our lives (and our jobs). Ruth Mahoney, President of KeyBank Hudson Valley / Metro NY District, who is responsible for dozens of regional banks suggests being specific and focused in developing our careers. She believes it is important to make our aspirations known, and asking for and being open to feedback - and then actually doing something with that feedback.
Authenticity is about being genuine - showing up in all areas of our lives as who we really are. We can see this in Kathleen Tierney, Executive Vice President and COO of Chubb Insurance, in how she deals with a mistake. She recommends owning up and acknowledging the mistake and considering what we can do with the information we glean. Authenticity requires vulnerability and curiosity - and these are great tools to deal with our mistakes. When we are living authentically, mistakes do not destroy our view of ourselves, rather mistakes are information to consider. Because mistakes are necessary in achieving or learning almost anything, managing mistakes is critically important to achievement.
The study also found that connection with other humans is a characteristic of high-achieving women - both professionally and personally. Tierney tells us that personal relationships have been key to her success in the workplace, and we know from the study that relationships outside actually support us inside the workplace.
The study refers to this as self-clarity. Self-clarity comes from understanding our values, motivations, and behaviors. It’s the desire to have a greater sense of self. Stacy Musi, a black belt in karate and managing director of Chadick Ellig Executive Search Firm, believes that establishing credibility is key to achieving our goals. To be credible, we really need to understand ourselves. Musi’s advice on credibility is an interesting mix of self-clarity and authenticity.
The last aspect of high-achievement the study points out is wholeness - which is the desire for experiences beyond work and the integration of those experiences with our work lives. It turns out high-achieving women value multiple roles, life beyond work, and a broader definition of success. The study notes that high-achieving women can feel fractured and are sometimes concerned about whether they are living in the wholeness, but it is nonetheless of great importance. This is encouraging because it tells us that there is a path to having wholeness in our life, which may in the end be the definition of “having it all.”
These five characteristics of high-achievement show up as tenacity, competence, results driven, vision, a focus on strengths, understanding the power of failure and apologies, not sweating the small stuff, stress tolerance, and emotional intelligence.
As we create our own definitions of achievement and work towards whatever that is, these five characteristics are important tools as we build lives that create an opportunity for ease, meaning and joy.
Some Good Reads:
5 Key Themes for High-Achieving Women Leaders
The six personality traits of high-achieving women in the workplace (smh.com.au)
Workplace hacks can help you streamline your tasks, maximize your work space, adjust your attitude and even control your co-workers (just kidding!). Best of all, these tips and tools can get you closer to ease, meaning, and joy!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our duo discusses workplace hack - just those little and big things to make your work day easier and make way for meaning and joy.
Crina and Kirsten cover hacks for your body - everything from water to rescue remedy gum to the shelf stable lentils in your desk drawer. Our gals cover hacks for your sanity - particularly necessary when 9 out of 10 workers report that workplace stress impacts their mental health and 4 out of 5 employees report feeling emotionally drained from their work. The brain hacks involve getting outside, listening to music, finding 10 minutes to stare into space or look at pictures of puppies (it really works!).
And for those of us behind a computer - one study reported that a survey of office workers reported an average of 6.5 hours behind their computers - there are also some hacks about drafting emails, setting your automatic response and getting those groovy glasses.
And of course our hosts provide some productivity hacks - because we want to get it done so we can get to the things that most matter. Kirsten says to eat the big, hairy frog first - in other words - do the hard thing you do not want to do first. Hacks such as rewarding yourself when you get through a task, prepping for Monday on Friday (or Sunday if you are like Kirsten) and really working on not multitasking.
Crina and Kirsten suggest hacking your workplace environment - everything from whiteboard wallpaper to noise canceling headphones to plants in your workspace. 65% of workers report it is difficult to concentrate due to their work environment. If we can make our workplace environment more pleasing - it allows us to concentrate more fully.
And of course the biggest hack of all in how to create more ease, meaning and joy in your workplace - JUST SAY NO.
Workplace hacks can help you streamline your tasks, maximize your work space, adjust your attitude and even control your co-workers (just kidding!). Best of all, these tips and tools can get you closer to ease, meaning, and joy!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our duo discusses workplace hack - just those little and big things to make your work day easier and make way for meaning and joy.
Crina and Kirsten cover hacks for your body - everything from water to rescue remedy gum to the shelf stable lentils in your desk drawer. Our gals cover hacks for your sanity - particularly necessary when 9 out of 10 workers report that workplace stress impacts their mental health and 4 out of 5 employees report feeling emotionally drained from their work. The brain hacks involve getting outside, listening to music, finding 10 minutes to stare into space or look at pictures of puppies (it really works!).
And for those of us behind a computer - one study reported that a survey of office workers reported an average of 6.5 hours behind their computers - there are also some hacks about drafting emails, setting your automatic response and getting those groovy glasses.
And of course our hosts provide some productivity hacks - because we want to get it done so we can get to the things that most matter. Kirsten says to eat the big, hairy frog first - in other words - do the hard thing you do not want to do first. Hacks such as rewarding yourself when you get through a task, prepping for Monday on Friday (or Sunday if you are like Kirsten) and really working on not multitasking.
Crina and Kirsten suggest hacking your workplace environment - everything from whiteboard wallpaper to noise canceling headphones to plants in your workspace. 65% of workers report it is difficult to concentrate due to their work environment. If we can make our workplace environment more pleasing - it allows us to concentrate more fully.
And of course the biggest hack of all in how to create more ease, meaning and joy in your workplace - JUST SAY NO.
In recognition of Black History Month, we spend some time considering the state of black women at work in America, and the racism behind it. In this episode, we will see that Black women are paid less, have fewer benefits, are promoted with less frequency and occupy fewer management positions than their white counterparts. We also ask ourselves, and our listeners to take action to address these disparities that permeate every workplace.
SHOW NOTES
This episode is full of contradictions, which reflects the racism Black women face in the American workplace. While Black women have always (and currently) participated more than white women in the labor force, regardless of age, marital status or the presence of children, they have not reaped the rewards of that higher level of participation.
Black women have been excluded from social programs because of their relatively high rates of employment as compared to white women, which is ironic when we consider the stereotype image of the black welfare mother with all the kids - turns out those programs did not even cover Black women when they began. Legislative protections for workers have excluded Black women because the industries they have typically occupied have been excluded, such as household workers and agriculture. Racism is many awful and injurious things, but it is also ironic.
Studies show this reality affects the way Black women feel about their work - and we know from prior episodes the importance of our perceptions about the workplace.
According to a Gallup poll, Black women are less likely to feel valued, less likely to feel they are treated with respect, and less likely to feel treated fairly at work than any other group. Despite these feelings, Black women remain highly ambitious and ready to succeed in the workplace.
Tune in to find out what organizations and individuals can do about racism directed at Black women in the workplace.
Good Reads:
Black women’s labor market history reveals deep-seated race and gender discrimination.
The “Angry Black Woman” Stereotype at Work
Black Women's Equal Pay Day Equals An Extra 214 Days Of Work
SYSTEMIC RACISM AND THE GENDER PAY GAP
In recognition of Black History Month, we spend some time considering the state of black women at work in America, and the racism behind it. In this episode, we will see that Black women are paid less, have fewer benefits, are promoted with less frequency and occupy fewer management positions than their white counterparts. We also ask ourselves, and our listeners to take action to address these disparities that permeate every workplace.
SHOW NOTES
This episode is full of contradictions, which reflects the racism Black women face in the American workplace. While Black women have always (and currently) participated more than white women in the labor force, regardless of age, marital status or the presence of children, they have not reaped the rewards of that higher level of participation.
Black women have been excluded from social programs because of their relatively high rates of employment as compared to white women, which is ironic when we consider the stereotype image of the black welfare mother with all the kids - turns out those programs did not even cover Black women when they began. Legislative protections for workers have excluded Black women because the industries they have typically occupied have been excluded, such as household workers and agriculture. Racism is many awful and injurious things, but it is also ironic.
Studies show this reality affects the way Black women feel about their work - and we know from prior episodes the importance of our perceptions about the workplace.
According to a Gallup poll, Black women are less likely to feel valued, less likely to feel they are treated with respect, and less likely to feel treated fairly at work than any other group. Despite these feelings, Black women remain highly ambitious and ready to succeed in the workplace.
Tune in to find out what organizations and individuals can do about racism directed at Black women in the workplace.
Good Reads:
Black women’s labor market history reveals deep-seated race and gender discrimination.
The “Angry Black Woman” Stereotype at Work
Black Women's Equal Pay Day Equals An Extra 214 Days Of Work
SYSTEMIC RACISM AND THE GENDER PAY GAP
Fear has the power to motivate us to act; educate us about who we are; inspire us to change; and provide us with so very many opportunities to find ease, meaning and joy.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we are talking about FEAR!! We can do this together - pour yourself a cup of tea and take a deep breath, let’s wade into the dark waters of fear and find the clear water.
Signposts for this episode:
How does fear help us?
How does fear stop us?
How does fear impact our brains? Our performance? Our motivation?
What do you do when you’re afraid?
What do you do to avoid the things you’re afraid of: work too much? Get angry?
Why Deal with Fear?
The first question you may ask yourself is why should we deal with big, hairy, scary fear? Because it gets in the way of leading our fullest lives. Remember the saying, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” If we are too afraid to take a shot, we miss it. And the amazing Nelson Mandela said, “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” And one of our favorite stoics, Seneca, said, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality." The quotations all tell us something about fear - what it gets in the way of, the benefits of conquering fear - and of course what we make up in our heads.
Addressing your fears allows you to be more of who you are in the world - oh yeah - and some of that ease, meaning and joy.
What is Fear?
At its basic level, fear is a physical and emotional response to some external stimulus. Sometimes the stimulus is known—like a loud, unexpected crash in the middle of the night—but often the trigger for fear is subconscious and is not easily traced, i.e. a dark basement or a steep ski slope.
Science tells us that some aspects of fear are evolutionary. In other words, we are hard-wired with a set of autonomic responses that have been critical to our survival. Other fears are conditional i.e. developed through a complex set of interactions with the world and often through observing the behaviors of others. It turns out there is quite a bit of debate about what we are born with and what is conditioned into us. And some of the conditioning comes from the stuff we keep telling ourselves.
Is Fear Positive or Negative?
Most of us think that fear is negative because it can stop you from doing things. Fear also has negative impacts on your physical health, memory, brain processing and mental health.
However, fear does have a positive side - the positive power to stimulate action and unlock potential. When we face our fears, acknowledge and give respect to the power within those fears (what is true), parce out what is not true and turn that power into action, we can make remarkable progress in our lives.
What are Some Workplace Fears
Workplace fears include fear of organizational change and fear of risk taking, which includes fear of failure, success, fear of what others will think, and fear of uncertainty. Sometimes we are afraid to speak up at a meeting, express an unpopular or new view or opinion, ask for that raise - just so many things.
How Do We Overcome Fear
Tim Ferris has a great exercise - that has taken from the stoics - to overcome fear - in fact, he is such a believer in this process he says people would be better off addressing fears than setting goals.
Tim suggests three sheets for this exercise.
On the first sheet define what you are afraid of, what are the worst things that can happen - try to come up with a column of at least 10 and closer to 20 awful things. For each of the awful things, figure out how you might prevent the awful thing in the second column or steps for a repair in the third column.
On the second sheet list all the benefits of an attempt, of partial success or wild success. Will you be rich and famous (if you want to), will you build confidence, learn skills, have an experience, free yourself from something?
One the last sheet list the cost of inaction - what will doing nothing look like in 6 months, a year or three years.
References and Good Reads:
(PDF) Fear as a strategy: Effects and impact within the organization
Impact of Fear and Anxiety | Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing
Sigal Barsade - Knowledge@Wharton
Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss - Bing video
Fear has the power to motivate us to act; educate us about who we are; inspire us to change; and provide us with so very many opportunities to find ease, meaning and joy.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we are talking about FEAR!! We can do this together - pour yourself a cup of tea and take a deep breath, let’s wade into the dark waters of fear and find the clear water.
Signposts for this episode:
How does fear help us?
How does fear stop us?
How does fear impact our brains? Our performance? Our motivation?
What do you do when you’re afraid?
What do you do to avoid the things you’re afraid of: work too much? Get angry?
Why Deal with Fear?
The first question you may ask yourself is why should we deal with big, hairy, scary fear? Because it gets in the way of leading our fullest lives. Remember the saying, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” If we are too afraid to take a shot, we miss it. And the amazing Nelson Mandela said, “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” And one of our favorite stoics, Seneca, said, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality." The quotations all tell us something about fear - what it gets in the way of, the benefits of conquering fear - and of course what we make up in our heads.
Addressing your fears allows you to be more of who you are in the world - oh yeah - and some of that ease, meaning and joy.
What is Fear?
At its basic level, fear is a physical and emotional response to some external stimulus. Sometimes the stimulus is known—like a loud, unexpected crash in the middle of the night—but often the trigger for fear is subconscious and is not easily traced, i.e. a dark basement or a steep ski slope.
Science tells us that some aspects of fear are evolutionary. In other words, we are hard-wired with a set of autonomic responses that have been critical to our survival. Other fears are conditional i.e. developed through a complex set of interactions with the world and often through observing the behaviors of others. It turns out there is quite a bit of debate about what we are born with and what is conditioned into us. And some of the conditioning comes from the stuff we keep telling ourselves.
Is Fear Positive or Negative?
Most of us think that fear is negative because it can stop you from doing things. Fear also has negative impacts on your physical health, memory, brain processing and mental health.
However, fear does have a positive side - the positive power to stimulate action and unlock potential. When we face our fears, acknowledge and give respect to the power within those fears (what is true), parce out what is not true and turn that power into action, we can make remarkable progress in our lives.
What are Some Workplace Fears
Workplace fears include fear of organizational change and fear of risk taking, which includes fear of failure, success, fear of what others will think, and fear of uncertainty. Sometimes we are afraid to speak up at a meeting, express an unpopular or new view or opinion, ask for that raise - just so many things.
How Do We Overcome Fear
Tim Ferris has a great exercise - that has taken from the stoics - to overcome fear - in fact, he is such a believer in this process he says people would be better off addressing fears than setting goals.
Tim suggests three sheets for this exercise.
On the first sheet define what you are afraid of, what are the worst things that can happen - try to come up with a column of at least 10 and closer to 20 awful things. For each of the awful things, figure out how you might prevent the awful thing in the second column or steps for a repair in the third column.
On the second sheet list all the benefits of an attempt, of partial success or wild success. Will you be rich and famous (if you want to), will you build confidence, learn skills, have an experience, free yourself from something?
One the last sheet list the cost of inaction - what will doing nothing look like in 6 months, a year or three years.
References and Good Reads:
(PDF) Fear as a strategy: Effects and impact within the organization
Impact of Fear and Anxiety | Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing
Sigal Barsade - Knowledge@Wharton
Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss - Bing video
OMG…Who doesn’t love talking about clothes? Not only does that outfit make you look super cute (yes, we’re talking to you, friend!) your clothes affect your feelings, how your job performance,the environment, and other working women! Clothes are another opportunity to make choices about how we live in and show up in the world. We can use clothes to be more of our authentic selve - to make a political statement - or to live out our deepest values around the environment and worker rights.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts discuss - drum roll please - clothes! What do clothes have to do with ease, meaning and joy?! Turns out it is a lot - and what we may think is a light subject in fact brings us deep into creating meaning in our lives.
The idea for this show came from a listener who sent us a Wall Street Journal article on the pandemic closet purge. It turns out many of us are cleaning our closets because our experiences during this pandemic have changed what we wear and how we see clothing. What to Wear The Pandemic Closet Purge is Under Way, Anne Marie Chaker. Chaker says that nearly seventy-five percent of respondents in a November 2021 survey by consumer research firm CivicScience of more than 4,200 U.S. adults said their closets contain many things they will never wear again. Only 15% said they want to leave their closets as-is. The pandemic closet purge isn’t merely an exercise in swapping formal clothes for casual ones. This closet purge is more of a desire to simplify during complicated, uncertain times.
As Crina says, what she thought would be a light show on clothes and women and work, went deep - into meaning. Women have always been using clothes to fit in, express themselves and at times make political statements.
We pick clothes because they make us feel good in some way - maybe for comfort, maybe for fun, maybe to express something, or maybe to fit in, feel a part of the group - or set us apart from the group.
Women wore green, white and violet jewelry during the suffrage movement to signal GWV - or Get, Women the Vote. A century later, in the 1980s, women wore “feminized” suits with big shoulder pads and bow ties to mimic male professional dress style in an attempt to access the social and economic capital that lay on the other side of the glass ceiling. If the Clothes Fit: A Feminist Takes on Fashion - Ms. Magazine (msmagazine.com)
What we wear affects our mental state. So called “power clothes” can make us better negotiators; wearing a uniform can make us more conscious of our job duties, and, in fact, just looking at a lab coat can make us more accurate and precise.
What we wear affects the environment. We have drastically increased the amount of clothing produced - and much of it is synthetic fabrics that do not biodegrade.
What we wear also affects the people who produce it - who are mostly women. An estimated 60 million workers power the global garment industry and the fashion industry is not known for providing women worker friendly wages or benefits. In fact, it is just the opposite.
So when we consider how clothes affect our feelings, how clothes affect our job performance, and the impact of our choices on the environment and other working women, what is a woman to do? Simply put, clothes are another opportunity to make choices about how we live in and show up in the world. We can use clothes to be more of our authentic selve - to make a political statement - or to live out our deepest values around the environment and worker rights.
Good Reads:
The Inherent Sexism in Women’s Professional Clothing – FEM Newsmagazine (femmagazine.com)
If the Clothes Fit: A Feminist Takes on Fashion - Ms. Magazine (msmagazine.com)
How Women Have Used Fashion As A Feminist Tool Throughout History (bustle.com)
Does What We Wear To Work Affect Our Productivity? | Hive
Research Shows That the Clothes You Wear Actually Change the Way You Perform | Inc.com
Exploring Enclothed Cognition (schoolofselfimage.com)
Gender Discrimination — Clean Clothes Campaign
OMG…Who doesn’t love talking about clothes? Not only does that outfit make you look super cute (yes, we’re talking to you, friend!) your clothes affect your feelings, how your job performance,the environment, and other working women! Clothes are another opportunity to make choices about how we live in and show up in the world. We can use clothes to be more of our authentic selve - to make a political statement - or to live out our deepest values around the environment and worker rights.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts discuss - drum roll please - clothes! What do clothes have to do with ease, meaning and joy?! Turns out it is a lot - and what we may think is a light subject in fact brings us deep into creating meaning in our lives.
The idea for this show came from a listener who sent us a Wall Street Journal article on the pandemic closet purge. It turns out many of us are cleaning our closets because our experiences during this pandemic have changed what we wear and how we see clothing. What to Wear The Pandemic Closet Purge is Under Way, Anne Marie Chaker. Chaker says that nearly seventy-five percent of respondents in a November 2021 survey by consumer research firm CivicScience of more than 4,200 U.S. adults said their closets contain many things they will never wear again. Only 15% said they want to leave their closets as-is. The pandemic closet purge isn’t merely an exercise in swapping formal clothes for casual ones. This closet purge is more of a desire to simplify during complicated, uncertain times.
As Crina says, what she thought would be a light show on clothes and women and work, went deep - into meaning. Women have always been using clothes to fit in, express themselves and at times make political statements.
We pick clothes because they make us feel good in some way - maybe for comfort, maybe for fun, maybe to express something, or maybe to fit in, feel a part of the group - or set us apart from the group.
Women wore green, white and violet jewelry during the suffrage movement to signal GWV - or Get, Women the Vote. A century later, in the 1980s, women wore “feminized” suits with big shoulder pads and bow ties to mimic male professional dress style in an attempt to access the social and economic capital that lay on the other side of the glass ceiling. If the Clothes Fit: A Feminist Takes on Fashion - Ms. Magazine (msmagazine.com)
What we wear affects our mental state. So called “power clothes” can make us better negotiators; wearing a uniform can make us more conscious of our job duties, and, in fact, just looking at a lab coat can make us more accurate and precise.
What we wear affects the environment. We have drastically increased the amount of clothing produced - and much of it is synthetic fabrics that do not biodegrade.
What we wear also affects the people who produce it - who are mostly women. An estimated 60 million workers power the global garment industry and the fashion industry is not known for providing women worker friendly wages or benefits. In fact, it is just the opposite.
So when we consider how clothes affect our feelings, how clothes affect our job performance, and the impact of our choices on the environment and other working women, what is a woman to do? Simply put, clothes are another opportunity to make choices about how we live in and show up in the world. We can use clothes to be more of our authentic selve - to make a political statement - or to live out our deepest values around the environment and worker rights.
Good Reads:
The Inherent Sexism in Women’s Professional Clothing – FEM Newsmagazine (femmagazine.com)
If the Clothes Fit: A Feminist Takes on Fashion - Ms. Magazine (msmagazine.com)
How Women Have Used Fashion As A Feminist Tool Throughout History (bustle.com)
Does What We Wear To Work Affect Our Productivity? | Hive
Research Shows That the Clothes You Wear Actually Change the Way You Perform | Inc.com
Exploring Enclothed Cognition (schoolofselfimage.com)
Gender Discrimination — Clean Clothes Campaign
WOW! Resilience is amazing! Not only is it a powerful tool to minimize stress, improve performance and create more ease, meaning and joy…it’s something we can all develop in ourselves! Simple, daily practices have proven effective at building resilience and helping folks deal with difficult situations; manage emotions and generate a positive outlook about life. We could use some of that right now!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, the timely topic for tillitating tete a tete between our co-hosts is resilience. Let’s be honest - we are two years into a pandemic, regardless of your political persuasion many feel political and economic certainty and, oh yes, let’s add all of the regular challenges of being human in this world. IT’S A LOT! So what do we need - of course we need ease, meaning and joy - and there are good things out there - a dear friend, a beautiful sunrise, a long walk, a sweet dog - lot’s of good things. We just need to get ourselves in a place where we can enjoy those things and that is where resilience comes in.
Adversity doesn't discriminate. If we are alive, we are going to have to, or have already had to, deal with some tough times. Navigating those tough times requires resilience - and resiliency is something we control.
In the world of positive psychology, resilience is being able to recover and adapt quickly from a traumatic event or stressor. In other words, it’s a kind of inner strength. Generally speaking, resilient people have a positive outlook; deal with difficult situations with ease and don’t exhibit excessive negative emotions during difficult times.
Resilience helps us minimize stress, improve performance and leads to more ease, meaning and joy at work. But a word of caution - some folks are critical of the ' ‘resilience movement” because it puts the burden on the individuals who have little control over the systems they’re affected by. Think of racism or sexism or ableism. While resilience can be very helpful in these situations, an individual’s resilience does not, for example, resolve racism. Resilience can help us manage but it is not a solution for systemic distrimination.
The good news is that because there is a concrete set of behaviors and skills associated with resilience, you can learn to be more resilient.
One, resilient people get that shit happens. They know that suffering is part of life. This doesn't mean they actually welcome it in, they're not delusional. But, resilience people seem to accept that suffering or challenges are part of every human existence.
Two, resilient people are really good at choosing where to focus their attention. They analyze a situation and focus on the things they can change and accept the things they cannot change.
It is not about diminishing the negative as much as it is focusing on where they can get traction in changing their situation.
Three, resilient people ask themselves, iIs what I'm doing helping or harming me?" They seem to be aware of whether their actions are taking them in the directions they want to go - or not. This requires self-awareness and honesty.
Four, resilient people respond to stress rather than reacting and to stress and mental agility, which is the ability to cognitively take a step back from the experience, label thoughts and emotions and change their attention and/or the narrative about the situation.
Five, resilient people compartmentalize so that they are not juggling or managing too much. This is similar to where resilient people direct their attention - and sometimes it makes sense to ignore some things and focus on others..
Six, resilient people understand the importance of connection - knowing they have a circle of support and being able to reach out if necessary.
Seven, humor, which is an indicator of a positive outlook in general, also contributes to resilience - for all of the reasons - endorphins, a flat stomach . . ..
Eight, resilient people have optimism and hope or or belief or something like it - this can be a small kernel of hope or a belief that something good will happen.
Resiliency is a skill we can learn and improve over time and with practice. Resiliency can be as small and simple as enjoying a hot bath at the end of a hard day or as big and complicated as losing a job, taking steps to redefine what we want in a job and getting out there to get it.
References and good reads:
5 Ways to Boost Your Resilience at Work
Lucy Hone: 3 secrets of resilient people | TED Talk
WOW! Resilience is amazing! Not only is it a powerful tool to minimize stress, improve performance and create more ease, meaning and joy…it’s something we can all develop in ourselves! Simple, daily practices have proven effective at building resilience and helping folks deal with difficult situations; manage emotions and generate a positive outlook about life. We could use some of that right now!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, the timely topic for tillitating tete a tete between our co-hosts is resilience. Let’s be honest - we are two years into a pandemic, regardless of your political persuasion many feel political and economic certainty and, oh yes, let’s add all of the regular challenges of being human in this world. IT’S A LOT! So what do we need - of course we need ease, meaning and joy - and there are good things out there - a dear friend, a beautiful sunrise, a long walk, a sweet dog - lot’s of good things. We just need to get ourselves in a place where we can enjoy those things and that is where resilience comes in.
Adversity doesn't discriminate. If we are alive, we are going to have to, or have already had to, deal with some tough times. Navigating those tough times requires resilience - and resiliency is something we control.
In the world of positive psychology, resilience is being able to recover and adapt quickly from a traumatic event or stressor. In other words, it’s a kind of inner strength. Generally speaking, resilient people have a positive outlook; deal with difficult situations with ease and don’t exhibit excessive negative emotions during difficult times.
Resilience helps us minimize stress, improve performance and leads to more ease, meaning and joy at work. But a word of caution - some folks are critical of the ' ‘resilience movement” because it puts the burden on the individuals who have little control over the systems they’re affected by. Think of racism or sexism or ableism. While resilience can be very helpful in these situations, an individual’s resilience does not, for example, resolve racism. Resilience can help us manage but it is not a solution for systemic distrimination.
The good news is that because there is a concrete set of behaviors and skills associated with resilience, you can learn to be more resilient.
One, resilient people get that shit happens. They know that suffering is part of life. This doesn't mean they actually welcome it in, they're not delusional. But, resilience people seem to accept that suffering or challenges are part of every human existence.
Two, resilient people are really good at choosing where to focus their attention. They analyze a situation and focus on the things they can change and accept the things they cannot change.
It is not about diminishing the negative as much as it is focusing on where they can get traction in changing their situation.
Three, resilient people ask themselves, iIs what I'm doing helping or harming me?" They seem to be aware of whether their actions are taking them in the directions they want to go - or not. This requires self-awareness and honesty.
Four, resilient people respond to stress rather than reacting and to stress and mental agility, which is the ability to cognitively take a step back from the experience, label thoughts and emotions and change their attention and/or the narrative about the situation.
Five, resilient people compartmentalize so that they are not juggling or managing too much. This is similar to where resilient people direct their attention - and sometimes it makes sense to ignore some things and focus on others..
Six, resilient people understand the importance of connection - knowing they have a circle of support and being able to reach out if necessary.
Seven, humor, which is an indicator of a positive outlook in general, also contributes to resilience - for all of the reasons - endorphins, a flat stomach . . ..
Eight, resilient people have optimism and hope or or belief or something like it - this can be a small kernel of hope or a belief that something good will happen.
Resiliency is a skill we can learn and improve over time and with practice. Resiliency can be as small and simple as enjoying a hot bath at the end of a hard day or as big and complicated as losing a job, taking steps to redefine what we want in a job and getting out there to get it.
References and good reads:
5 Ways to Boost Your Resilience at Work
Lucy Hone: 3 secrets of resilient people | TED Talk
Twelve months from now you will feel, experience, imagine and embody something. Do you want to be in the drivers’ seat or leave it up to chance? Setting intentions and working toward your goals is the way to get, become, dare we say manifest(?) exactly what you want for yourself, your life and your work.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we get to ring in the New Year with Part 2 of a 2 part series on Reflections and Realizing Intentions. In Episode 75 (what?!! 75 episodes!) we learned about the power of reflection. Reflecting on the past year is a great start to setting intentions for the new year - and this episode focuses on how to make those intentions real. As Crina says - and she says someone else said it - you are going to be someone in 12 months, you are going to have done things in 12 months and experienced things in 12 months - so who do you want to be and what do you want those things done and experiences had to be?
Last year we focused our “intentions” episode on setting mental intentions to achieve who we want to be, how we want to feel and how we want to react.
Take some time to reflect on last year - and organize the reflections. It can be as simple as good and bad or you can define the categories you most resonate with. Kirsten uses emotional, physical, work, relational, financial and spiritual. Pick whatever feels right.
Once we reflect on last year, think about what we want to repeat (or not) in the coming year. We can set specific goals - anything from finding that new job, going on a date a month or creating one new experience a month - whatever our jam is, this is the time to clearly define it and set a goal. And those goals can mirror your reflections - or not.
Once we set goals, we can direct our intentions to make those goals come to life. How do we focus our intentions so that “stuff happens?” Depak Chopra writes, “intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love.” So, Depak, how does that work?
Many people find that reminders are helpful - post goals on the bathroom mirror, create a vision board or a vision box, journal and make a commitment to review that goals list once a week or once a month. If we set a goal in January that does not feel good in August, dump it. We can be flexible and allow for the space to change our minds.
Some people believe that just imagining it can make it so - those are The Secret folks. And while there is certainly magic in the Universe and sometimes those things just happen - it’s usually not the case. A friend of Kirsten has had many goals of owning a second home somewhere and the opportunity seems to appear out of nowhere - so much so that the friend’s husband has asked her to stop. This is not most of our experiences.
Other people advocate for positive thinking, but it turns out that is not what it is cracked up to be. Gabriele Oettingen is a Professor of Psychology at New York University and at the University of Hamburg. She wrote “Rethinking Positive Thinking” which synthesizes 20 years of research on the science of human motivation. The research shows that positive thinking is much less promising than we think. In the moment, positive thinking gives us pleasure, but in the long run if we simply have positive thoughts, we put in less energy and have fewer successes towards our goals. This leads to reduced happiness and loss of motivation.
Positive thinking is very helpful to explore possibilities in the future - and here is the catch, when positive thinking is combined with a good sense of reality.
It turns out that small steps and planning have a lot of influence on whether you achieve your goals.
It is important to take one small step towards your goal - and then another and another and another - and soon enough you will be there. Kirsten tells a story about Dr. Nicole LePera who essentially changed her whole life by starting with drinking a glass of water every morning to begin to hydrate her body for the day. If you want to save $1000, start with $100 - or even $10.
Another strategy is to plan, which is well articulated in a system called WOOP - in fact that is the name of the website advocating this method. According to the WOOP (which stands for wish, outcome, obstacle, plan) website, “The obstacles that we think most impede us from fulfilling our wishes can actually help us to realize them. WOOP instructs us to dream our future dreams but then to imagine what obstacles inside ourselves prevent us from achieving these dreams.” In other words, we need to understand what we want, what does getting it look like, what will get in our way and how to we get around, through or over that obstacle.
The New Year is a great time to go through this process of reflection, goal setting, intention setting and directing and goal actualization, but we can do this any time of year or multiple times a year. Our lives are precious - creating something we love will give us ease, meaning and joy!
Twelve months from now you will feel, experience, imagine and embody something. Do you want to be in the drivers’ seat or leave it up to chance? Setting intentions and working toward your goals is the way to get, become, dare we say manifest(?) exactly what you want for yourself, your life and your work.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we get to ring in the New Year with Part 2 of a 2 part series on Reflections and Realizing Intentions. In Episode 75 (what?!! 75 episodes!) we learned about the power of reflection. Reflecting on the past year is a great start to setting intentions for the new year - and this episode focuses on how to make those intentions real. As Crina says - and she says someone else said it - you are going to be someone in 12 months, you are going to have done things in 12 months and experienced things in 12 months - so who do you want to be and what do you want those things done and experiences had to be?
Last year we focused our “intentions” episode on setting mental intentions to achieve who we want to be, how we want to feel and how we want to react.
Take some time to reflect on last year - and organize the reflections. It can be as simple as good and bad or you can define the categories you most resonate with. Kirsten uses emotional, physical, work, relational, financial and spiritual. Pick whatever feels right.
Once we reflect on last year, think about what we want to repeat (or not) in the coming year. We can set specific goals - anything from finding that new job, going on a date a month or creating one new experience a month - whatever our jam is, this is the time to clearly define it and set a goal. And those goals can mirror your reflections - or not.
Once we set goals, we can direct our intentions to make those goals come to life. How do we focus our intentions so that “stuff happens?” Depak Chopra writes, “intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love.” So, Depak, how does that work?
Many people find that reminders are helpful - post goals on the bathroom mirror, create a vision board or a vision box, journal and make a commitment to review that goals list once a week or once a month. If we set a goal in January that does not feel good in August, dump it. We can be flexible and allow for the space to change our minds.
Some people believe that just imagining it can make it so - those are The Secret folks. And while there is certainly magic in the Universe and sometimes those things just happen - it’s usually not the case. A friend of Kirsten has had many goals of owning a second home somewhere and the opportunity seems to appear out of nowhere - so much so that the friend’s husband has asked her to stop. This is not most of our experiences.
Other people advocate for positive thinking, but it turns out that is not what it is cracked up to be. Gabriele Oettingen is a Professor of Psychology at New York University and at the University of Hamburg. She wrote “Rethinking Positive Thinking” which synthesizes 20 years of research on the science of human motivation. The research shows that positive thinking is much less promising than we think. In the moment, positive thinking gives us pleasure, but in the long run if we simply have positive thoughts, we put in less energy and have fewer successes towards our goals. This leads to reduced happiness and loss of motivation.
Positive thinking is very helpful to explore possibilities in the future - and here is the catch, when positive thinking is combined with a good sense of reality.
It turns out that small steps and planning have a lot of influence on whether you achieve your goals.
It is important to take one small step towards your goal - and then another and another and another - and soon enough you will be there. Kirsten tells a story about Dr. Nicole LePera who essentially changed her whole life by starting with drinking a glass of water every morning to begin to hydrate her body for the day. If you want to save $1000, start with $100 - or even $10.
Another strategy is to plan, which is well articulated in a system called WOOP - in fact that is the name of the website advocating this method. According to the WOOP (which stands for wish, outcome, obstacle, plan) website, “The obstacles that we think most impede us from fulfilling our wishes can actually help us to realize them. WOOP instructs us to dream our future dreams but then to imagine what obstacles inside ourselves prevent us from achieving these dreams.” In other words, we need to understand what we want, what does getting it look like, what will get in our way and how to we get around, through or over that obstacle.
The New Year is a great time to go through this process of reflection, goal setting, intention setting and directing and goal actualization, but we can do this any time of year or multiple times a year. Our lives are precious - creating something we love will give us ease, meaning and joy!
Reflection is important for skill building, mastery, self awareness and self assessment. We learn from what happened so next time it can be intentionally the same - or different. This is a key component to creating ease, meaning and joy in your life and in your work.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our work babes reflect on the power of reflection. Sometimes we intuitively know something is helpful, and that is true for reflection, but the statistics on the effects of reflection are particularly compelling.
WARNING - do not proceed if you are going to beat yourself up about the past - this is a learning experience. No beating up!
Reflection is pretty simple - it is thinking about what you do, say, feel, experience and perceive. It is closely linked to the concept of learning from experience in that you think about what we do, feel and perceive and what happened, and consider whether we would do differently next time - or hopefully whether we have landed on the magic formula.
Thinking about what has happened is part of being human. However, the difference between causal ‘thinking’ and ‘reflective practice’ is that reflective practice requires a conscious effort to think about events, and develop insights into them. And here is that word again - curious! It's about getting curious. Once you get into the habit of using reflective practice, you will probably find it useful both at work and at home.
Reflection is important for skill building, mastery, self awareness and self assessment. We learn from what happened so next time it can be intentionally the same - or different. This is a key component to creating ease, meaning and joy in your life and in your work. Looking back when things go well: we learn what worked for us and know we can use those behaviors or strategies again to our advantage. Looking back when things go poorly: learning from hindsight is not about wishing you had done things differently, which is more like regret. It’s getting curious about whether there is anything you want to do differently going forward. But be careful of what is called hindsight bias: which is the tendency for people to perceive past events as having been more predictable than they actually were - meaning that we think we had more control over the outcome than we actually did.
WHAT THE DATA SAYS:
Recent research from the Harvard Business school into the power of reflection showed that when employees spent 15 minutes at the end of their day reflecting about what they’ve learned, they’ve improved their performance by 23% in just 10 days, in comparison to those who did not reflect. Amazing - huh! Can you imagine increasing your performance not just at work, but in your life as well just through 15 minutes of reflection?!.
Giada De Stefano, professor at HEC Paris - an economics and business management school, tells us we work five more weeks per year now than we did in the 1970s. This means that gains in productivity are the result of working more - not working differently. Stefano proposes that we do not need to give more time to work to increase performance and productivity. In fact, we need to do less and think more.
To Stepfano’s point, studies have found that, once we have gathered a certain amount of experience, the benefit of continuing to perform similar tasks is far inferior to that of pairing that experience with efforts to analyze and reflect on it. And it turns out that more training has its drawbacks as well - because according to BetterUp we forget about 75% of it! Research has found that, regardless of work experience, all employees experience loss of knowledge over time. The amount of information that people remember depreciates over time, but this occurs at a significantly higher rate among individuals who work for organizations who don’t actively practice reflection (Argote & Miron-Spektor, 2011). It turns out practice and training have their limits in increasing productivity. Reflection is that secret sauce to add in.
The data tells us that reflection not only improves productivity and performance, but it also makes us feel better. Studies show that brief, positive reflection practices at the end of a work day can lead to decreased stress and improved health. Bono, J. E., Glomb, T. M., Shen, W., Kim, E., & Koch, A. J. (2013).
WHY DOES REFLECTION WORK:
Research shows reflection is critical to helping us deepen and integrate learning, and effectively apply it to our work and our lives. ( BetterUp) It is like the glue of progress - it seems to help it all stick and be solid.
HOW TO BUILD REFLECTION INTO YOUR WORKPLACE
Reflection is simple and building reflection into your day can also be simple. BetterUp has some great examples for managers, including:
We can also do this ourselves. Self-reflection requires us to look at ourselves with interest, curiosity, and inquiry, particularly when exploring our thoughts, behaviors, perceptions and emotions.
As we end this year, this is a perfect time to look back as we move into a new year to set our intentions and plans for what we want to create for ourselves in the new year.
Good Reads:
The Power of Reflection in Workplace Learning
Reflecting on Work Improves Job Performance - HBS Working Knowledge
How to Practice Self-Reflection at Work | by Neve McBeal | The Startup | Medium
The power of reflection at work: Insight by HEC Professor Giada di Stefano | HEC Paris
Reflective Practice | SkillsYouNeed
Getting started with Reflective Practice
Reflection is important for skill building, mastery, self awareness and self assessment. We learn from what happened so next time it can be intentionally the same - or different. This is a key component to creating ease, meaning and joy in your life and in your work.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our work babes reflect on the power of reflection. Sometimes we intuitively know something is helpful, and that is true for reflection, but the statistics on the effects of reflection are particularly compelling.
WARNING - do not proceed if you are going to beat yourself up about the past - this is a learning experience. No beating up!
Reflection is pretty simple - it is thinking about what you do, say, feel, experience and perceive. It is closely linked to the concept of learning from experience in that you think about what we do, feel and perceive and what happened, and consider whether we would do differently next time - or hopefully whether we have landed on the magic formula.
Thinking about what has happened is part of being human. However, the difference between causal ‘thinking’ and ‘reflective practice’ is that reflective practice requires a conscious effort to think about events, and develop insights into them. And here is that word again - curious! It's about getting curious. Once you get into the habit of using reflective practice, you will probably find it useful both at work and at home.
Reflection is important for skill building, mastery, self awareness and self assessment. We learn from what happened so next time it can be intentionally the same - or different. This is a key component to creating ease, meaning and joy in your life and in your work. Looking back when things go well: we learn what worked for us and know we can use those behaviors or strategies again to our advantage. Looking back when things go poorly: learning from hindsight is not about wishing you had done things differently, which is more like regret. It’s getting curious about whether there is anything you want to do differently going forward. But be careful of what is called hindsight bias: which is the tendency for people to perceive past events as having been more predictable than they actually were - meaning that we think we had more control over the outcome than we actually did.
WHAT THE DATA SAYS:
Recent research from the Harvard Business school into the power of reflection showed that when employees spent 15 minutes at the end of their day reflecting about what they’ve learned, they’ve improved their performance by 23% in just 10 days, in comparison to those who did not reflect. Amazing - huh! Can you imagine increasing your performance not just at work, but in your life as well just through 15 minutes of reflection?!.
Giada De Stefano, professor at HEC Paris - an economics and business management school, tells us we work five more weeks per year now than we did in the 1970s. This means that gains in productivity are the result of working more - not working differently. Stefano proposes that we do not need to give more time to work to increase performance and productivity. In fact, we need to do less and think more.
To Stepfano’s point, studies have found that, once we have gathered a certain amount of experience, the benefit of continuing to perform similar tasks is far inferior to that of pairing that experience with efforts to analyze and reflect on it. And it turns out that more training has its drawbacks as well - because according to BetterUp we forget about 75% of it! Research has found that, regardless of work experience, all employees experience loss of knowledge over time. The amount of information that people remember depreciates over time, but this occurs at a significantly higher rate among individuals who work for organizations who don’t actively practice reflection (Argote & Miron-Spektor, 2011). It turns out practice and training have their limits in increasing productivity. Reflection is that secret sauce to add in.
The data tells us that reflection not only improves productivity and performance, but it also makes us feel better. Studies show that brief, positive reflection practices at the end of a work day can lead to decreased stress and improved health. Bono, J. E., Glomb, T. M., Shen, W., Kim, E., & Koch, A. J. (2013).
WHY DOES REFLECTION WORK:
Research shows reflection is critical to helping us deepen and integrate learning, and effectively apply it to our work and our lives. ( BetterUp) It is like the glue of progress - it seems to help it all stick and be solid.
HOW TO BUILD REFLECTION INTO YOUR WORKPLACE
Reflection is simple and building reflection into your day can also be simple. BetterUp has some great examples for managers, including:
We can also do this ourselves. Self-reflection requires us to look at ourselves with interest, curiosity, and inquiry, particularly when exploring our thoughts, behaviors, perceptions and emotions.
As we end this year, this is a perfect time to look back as we move into a new year to set our intentions and plans for what we want to create for ourselves in the new year.
Good Reads:
The Power of Reflection in Workplace Learning
Reflecting on Work Improves Job Performance - HBS Working Knowledge
How to Practice Self-Reflection at Work | by Neve McBeal | The Startup | Medium
The power of reflection at work: Insight by HEC Professor Giada di Stefano | HEC Paris
Reflective Practice | SkillsYouNeed
Getting started with Reflective Practice
Workplace norms are those rules, behaviors and ways of going that define how we work together. When teams discuss and define their norms, they create safe workplaces for folks to succeed. When we are unaware of our workplace norms, we can fall prey to unspoken rules about professionalism, duty, work, etc that are difficult to navigate; frequently confusing and often rooted in sexism and racism.
SHOW NOTES
Norms are essentially expectations of the group and can be conscious and formal, or unconscious and informal. A couple of examples of group norms at work include the expectation that all members show up at group meeting times, that all group members focus on the group instead of personal matters (for example, turning cell phones and other distractions off), and that group members finish their part of the work by the established due date. Norms are also expectations such as don’t disagree with the boss or don’t ask your assistant to perform personal errands for you.
Gender norms are particularly problematic at work. Gender norms are learned in the home and reinforced in school, at work, in our institutions and in our social interactions. They perpetuate power differentials and equality and often negatively impact women.
Norms around race, while more complicated, are created similarly to the way gender norms are created. White norms often define what is “professional” at work - in everything from hair to grammar. Defining professional as primarily white cultural norms excludes and separates people from other cultures from the workplace.
Norms do have a positive side - they simplify group process - when we know the “rules” we know how to act and do not have to guess.
There are two kinds of workplace norms - technical norms and social norms. Technical norms focus on skills and information and are communicated by policies, procedures and rules. Social norms guide interactions, particularly with regard to conflict, challenge, accountability and disagreement. Social norms are transmitted through observation or trial and error. For example, not disagreeing with the boss is learned by observing not from the employee handbook.
Workplace norms change over time, which is good because there are some workplace norms that need to change. Top candidates for change include getting rid of long and painful meetings, mandatory afterwork events, set work hours, coming to work sick, work - life separation and micromanaging. What would you add?
GOOD READS
Politics, love & slacking: Managing new workplace norms | HR Morning
7 Workplace Norms That Need to End in the New Normal (idesign.com)
The Bias of ‘Professionalism’ Standards (ssir.org)
Workplace norms are those rules, behaviors and ways of going that define how we work together. When teams discuss and define their norms, they create safe workplaces for folks to succeed. When we are unaware of our workplace norms, we can fall prey to unspoken rules about professionalism, duty, work, etc that are difficult to navigate; frequently confusing and often rooted in sexism and racism.
SHOW NOTES
Norms are essentially expectations of the group and can be conscious and formal, or unconscious and informal. A couple of examples of group norms at work include the expectation that all members show up at group meeting times, that all group members focus on the group instead of personal matters (for example, turning cell phones and other distractions off), and that group members finish their part of the work by the established due date. Norms are also expectations such as don’t disagree with the boss or don’t ask your assistant to perform personal errands for you.
Gender norms are particularly problematic at work. Gender norms are learned in the home and reinforced in school, at work, in our institutions and in our social interactions. They perpetuate power differentials and equality and often negatively impact women.
Norms around race, while more complicated, are created similarly to the way gender norms are created. White norms often define what is “professional” at work - in everything from hair to grammar. Defining professional as primarily white cultural norms excludes and separates people from other cultures from the workplace.
Norms do have a positive side - they simplify group process - when we know the “rules” we know how to act and do not have to guess.
There are two kinds of workplace norms - technical norms and social norms. Technical norms focus on skills and information and are communicated by policies, procedures and rules. Social norms guide interactions, particularly with regard to conflict, challenge, accountability and disagreement. Social norms are transmitted through observation or trial and error. For example, not disagreeing with the boss is learned by observing not from the employee handbook.
Workplace norms change over time, which is good because there are some workplace norms that need to change. Top candidates for change include getting rid of long and painful meetings, mandatory afterwork events, set work hours, coming to work sick, work - life separation and micromanaging. What would you add?
GOOD READS
Politics, love & slacking: Managing new workplace norms | HR Morning
7 Workplace Norms That Need to End in the New Normal (idesign.com)
The Bias of ‘Professionalism’ Standards (ssir.org)
Cultivating an empathetic workplace is all the rage, but how do we do it? It begins with a commitment to ensure that empathy is baked into your workplace culture. Next, you and your coworkers need to be willing and able to recognize and respond to each other’s emotions. Finally, when you truly act in order to relieve each other’s suffering, you may have found the key to unlocking the benefits of empathy.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our gals engage in an exciting exchange on empathy. Let’s get clear about what we are talking about. We often use sympathy, empathy and compassion interchangeably and narrowing down on what each means helps us better understand the concepts.
Sympathy means we can understand what the other person is feeling.
Empathy means that we feel what a person is feeling.
Compassion is the willingness to feel what a person is feeling and to relieve the suffering of another.
Now that we know what we are talking about, why are we talking about empathy? Because it turns out it is a really good thing and we all should want to give and receive more of it in the workplace. We rarely “should” on our listeners, but this is a first for a reason. Empathy is powerful.
Of course, Brene Brown has created a spectacular and hilarious video should be the first stop on a tour of empathy. Brené Brown on Empathy - Bing video
It turns out that we are hardwired for empathy. Children as young as two demonstrate an appreciation that others hold perspectives different than their own, as evidenced in a study at Lund University in 2018. Lund University, And research at the University of Virginia found when people saw their friends experiencing threats, they experienced activity in the same part of their brain which was affected when they were personally threatened. See - literally - empathy is wired into our brains.
Empathy contributes to better mental health, better physical health and more ease with work-life balance for employees. And it turns out that what is good for employees is good for employers - empathy increases innovation, engagement, inclusivity and performance, according to a .2021 study by Catalyst.
What about the gender gap in empathy? Women self-report that they are more empathetic; however, it turns out the vast majority of studies on this issue report no significant gender difference in empathy ability.
How can we bring more empathy to work:
Give your full attention to people
Consider other people’s perspectives
Actively support people
Start meetings, calls, emails and other communication with a personal check in
Open your written communication with a signal of gratitude
Ask specific questions (not “how’s it going) and be curious about the answer/body language
Speak directly with individuals
Show active listening skills
Follow up after life events (how was your time with your parents this weekend?)
Create more informed policies and statements about social issues
See The Power of Empathy in Times of Crisis and Beyond (Report)
Cultivating an empathetic workplace is all the rage, but how do we do it? It begins with a commitment to ensure that empathy is baked into your workplace culture. Next, you and your coworkers need to be willing and able to recognize and respond to each other’s emotions. Finally, when you truly act in order to relieve each other’s suffering, you may have found the key to unlocking the benefits of empathy.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our gals engage in an exciting exchange on empathy. Let’s get clear about what we are talking about. We often use sympathy, empathy and compassion interchangeably and narrowing down on what each means helps us better understand the concepts.
Sympathy means we can understand what the other person is feeling.
Empathy means that we feel what a person is feeling.
Compassion is the willingness to feel what a person is feeling and to relieve the suffering of another.
Now that we know what we are talking about, why are we talking about empathy? Because it turns out it is a really good thing and we all should want to give and receive more of it in the workplace. We rarely “should” on our listeners, but this is a first for a reason. Empathy is powerful.
Of course, Brene Brown has created a spectacular and hilarious video should be the first stop on a tour of empathy. Brené Brown on Empathy - Bing video
It turns out that we are hardwired for empathy. Children as young as two demonstrate an appreciation that others hold perspectives different than their own, as evidenced in a study at Lund University in 2018. Lund University, And research at the University of Virginia found when people saw their friends experiencing threats, they experienced activity in the same part of their brain which was affected when they were personally threatened. See - literally - empathy is wired into our brains.
Empathy contributes to better mental health, better physical health and more ease with work-life balance for employees. And it turns out that what is good for employees is good for employers - empathy increases innovation, engagement, inclusivity and performance, according to a .2021 study by Catalyst.
What about the gender gap in empathy? Women self-report that they are more empathetic; however, it turns out the vast majority of studies on this issue report no significant gender difference in empathy ability.
How can we bring more empathy to work:
Give your full attention to people
Consider other people’s perspectives
Actively support people
Start meetings, calls, emails and other communication with a personal check in
Open your written communication with a signal of gratitude
Ask specific questions (not “how’s it going) and be curious about the answer/body language
Speak directly with individuals
Show active listening skills
Follow up after life events (how was your time with your parents this weekend?)
Create more informed policies and statements about social issues
See The Power of Empathy in Times of Crisis and Beyond (Report)
Is your job your singular focus or simply a way to fund your passion? Is your career the thing that defines you, or do you identify as something different...something unrelated to your work? Do we put too much pressure on our careers to deliver happiness? Ease? Meaning? Joy?
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work out hosts talk about the concept of good enough as an important part of ease, meaning and joy.
Pascal Bruckner said, “unhappiness is not only unhappiness,; it is, worse yet, a failure to be happy.” This quotation acknowledges the expectation that we all be “happy” and when we are not, we have somehow failed, missed the point or missed out generally. The point of this show is to explore that possibility that “good enough” can actually contribute to ease meaning and joy.
Some people, like Kirsten, experience work as deeply meaningful – although stressful. Crina’s son works when he needs money. These are two very different approaches to work. Is it realistic for everyone to “pursue their passion? Do you really have to find a dream job so you never work a day in your life? Can it actually be about something more than the money – or is it just a matter of paying the bills?
Our hosts posit that putting pressure on ourselves to create the perfect job probably takes away from ease, meaning and joy at work – and at the same time, is there something more than just a paycheck?
Rather than dig into the research, our hosts dig into the history. The idea that we love our work is a relatively new phenomena. Historically, work was never supposed to be enjoyable. In fact, author Sarah Jaffe, whose book Work Won’t Love You Back hits stores in January of 2022, argues that the “love your work” mantra is a myth of capitalism.” She says that in the 1970s, just when manufacturing began to die and labor movements began to lose ground, bosses started handing down aphorisms like, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
When we carry the belief that we must find meaning and fulfillment from work, we can be disappointed – and we can neglect other parts of our lives. If our jobs are our sole source of fulfillment, we not only create unrealistic expectations, but also miss out on other parts of our lives.
Enter the idea of the "good enough" job – relatively enjoyable paid work that meets your financial needs while leaving you with enough time and energy to pursue your passions and callings outside of work. Maybe you love the people you work with, or the work that you do – or even the mission of your employer – the point is that there is something in the job you find enjoyable.
The "good enough" job embraces the reality that not everyone’s call is this work, the "good enough" job leaves you time to focus on other meaningful aspects of your life – art, music, volunteering, reading, relationships etc. The "good enough" job is more flexible because you have less investment. It is easier to leave a "good enough" job to do something else because your interests have changed or to move somewhere else. Because there is less energy and connection and commitment to the "good enough" job, it is less likely to hold you back from other parts of your life. Consider, friends, the "good enough" job!
Good Reads:
In Praise Of 'Good Enough' Jobs — What A Girl Gotta Do
Why Young People Want Comfortable, "good enough" jobs
The Research We've Ignored About Happiness at Work
Is your job your singular focus or simply a way to fund your passion? Is your career the thing that defines you, or do you identify as something different...something unrelated to your work? Do we put too much pressure on our careers to deliver happiness? Ease? Meaning? Joy?
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work out hosts talk about the concept of good enough as an important part of ease, meaning and joy.
Pascal Bruckner said, “unhappiness is not only unhappiness,; it is, worse yet, a failure to be happy.” This quotation acknowledges the expectation that we all be “happy” and when we are not, we have somehow failed, missed the point or missed out generally. The point of this show is to explore that possibility that “good enough” can actually contribute to ease meaning and joy.
Some people, like Kirsten, experience work as deeply meaningful – although stressful. Crina’s son works when he needs money. These are two very different approaches to work. Is it realistic for everyone to “pursue their passion? Do you really have to find a dream job so you never work a day in your life? Can it actually be about something more than the money – or is it just a matter of paying the bills?
Our hosts posit that putting pressure on ourselves to create the perfect job probably takes away from ease, meaning and joy at work – and at the same time, is there something more than just a paycheck?
Rather than dig into the research, our hosts dig into the history. The idea that we love our work is a relatively new phenomena. Historically, work was never supposed to be enjoyable. In fact, author Sarah Jaffe, whose book Work Won’t Love You Back hits stores in January of 2022, argues that the “love your work” mantra is a myth of capitalism.” She says that in the 1970s, just when manufacturing began to die and labor movements began to lose ground, bosses started handing down aphorisms like, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
When we carry the belief that we must find meaning and fulfillment from work, we can be disappointed – and we can neglect other parts of our lives. If our jobs are our sole source of fulfillment, we not only create unrealistic expectations, but also miss out on other parts of our lives.
Enter the idea of the "good enough" job – relatively enjoyable paid work that meets your financial needs while leaving you with enough time and energy to pursue your passions and callings outside of work. Maybe you love the people you work with, or the work that you do – or even the mission of your employer – the point is that there is something in the job you find enjoyable.
The "good enough" job embraces the reality that not everyone’s call is this work, the "good enough" job leaves you time to focus on other meaningful aspects of your life – art, music, volunteering, reading, relationships etc. The "good enough" job is more flexible because you have less investment. It is easier to leave a "good enough" job to do something else because your interests have changed or to move somewhere else. Because there is less energy and connection and commitment to the "good enough" job, it is less likely to hold you back from other parts of your life. Consider, friends, the "good enough" job!
Good Reads:
In Praise Of 'Good Enough' Jobs — What A Girl Gotta Do
Why Young People Want Comfortable, "good enough" jobs
The Research We've Ignored About Happiness at Work
Burnout feels like depletion, exhaustion, disconnection, negative emotions and reduced capacity...sound familiar? You’re not alone! In fact burnout is so pervasive that over seventy-five percent of the workforce is currently, or has previously experienced it.
SHOW NOTES
Burnout is a real diagnosis - and defined as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed” by the World Health Organization. This relatively new diagnosis is defined as a “syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”
Christina Maslach (creator of the Maslach Burnout Inventory) first identified the syndrome - and it came out of her work with healthcare workers and their families. Here are her inventory questions:
Does it sound like you? If you are like most of us - yes, at least some teimes.
How does this happen? When we carry too much for too long and cannot effectively process our emotions, our neurological system gets overloaded - and we are unable to effectively deal with this overload.
Who does this happen to? Well, all of us, but those of us that are anxious or have a low self esteem or poor boundaries are thought to be more likely to suffer burnout, according to a study of Spanish nurses. According to authors Rachel Montane and Erika Pryor, women of color also carry the emotional burden of discrimination, fear of retaliation - and of course much of the emotional labor of diversity in the workplace..
Employers contribute to burnout by unfair treatment, an unmanageable workload, unrealistic deadlines, poor communication and a lack of support.
Enter Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout, who just happen to be identical twins. They have concluded, based on their research, that the key to preventing burnout is to manage the emotions you are having so that we do not become emotionally exhausted. They encourage us to process the emotion - actually turn towards it, and feel it. Scary!! But we can do it.
Here are the twins’ suggestions to deal with, process and get on the other side of our emotions.
The key is to send our body a signal that the danger is over, we are safe. And how do we know our emotions have been processed and we are “done?” The twin doctors promise your body will tell you.
Be aware of your depletion clues. Are you sleeping well and enough? Are you engaging in activities where you do not think of work? Are you taking breaks at work? Do you have work-life boundaries?
The solution to burnout is actually more than self-care. It is more about managing emotions.
While burnout is prevalent, there are things we can do to recognize our vulnerability, determine whether it is happening to us and work to relieve that chronic stress through the processing of emotions.
More good reads:
How to Recover From Burnout & Love Work Again According to Science
How to Eliminate Burnout and Retain Top Talent
Burnout feels like depletion, exhaustion, disconnection, negative emotions and reduced capacity...sound familiar? You’re not alone! In fact burnout is so pervasive that over seventy-five percent of the workforce is currently, or has previously experienced it.
SHOW NOTES
Burnout is a real diagnosis - and defined as “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed” by the World Health Organization. This relatively new diagnosis is defined as a “syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: 1) feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; 2) increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and 3) reduced professional efficacy. Burnout refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”
Christina Maslach (creator of the Maslach Burnout Inventory) first identified the syndrome - and it came out of her work with healthcare workers and their families. Here are her inventory questions:
Does it sound like you? If you are like most of us - yes, at least some teimes.
How does this happen? When we carry too much for too long and cannot effectively process our emotions, our neurological system gets overloaded - and we are unable to effectively deal with this overload.
Who does this happen to? Well, all of us, but those of us that are anxious or have a low self esteem or poor boundaries are thought to be more likely to suffer burnout, according to a study of Spanish nurses. According to authors Rachel Montane and Erika Pryor, women of color also carry the emotional burden of discrimination, fear of retaliation - and of course much of the emotional labor of diversity in the workplace..
Employers contribute to burnout by unfair treatment, an unmanageable workload, unrealistic deadlines, poor communication and a lack of support.
Enter Drs. Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout, who just happen to be identical twins. They have concluded, based on their research, that the key to preventing burnout is to manage the emotions you are having so that we do not become emotionally exhausted. They encourage us to process the emotion - actually turn towards it, and feel it. Scary!! But we can do it.
Here are the twins’ suggestions to deal with, process and get on the other side of our emotions.
The key is to send our body a signal that the danger is over, we are safe. And how do we know our emotions have been processed and we are “done?” The twin doctors promise your body will tell you.
Be aware of your depletion clues. Are you sleeping well and enough? Are you engaging in activities where you do not think of work? Are you taking breaks at work? Do you have work-life boundaries?
The solution to burnout is actually more than self-care. It is more about managing emotions.
While burnout is prevalent, there are things we can do to recognize our vulnerability, determine whether it is happening to us and work to relieve that chronic stress through the processing of emotions.
More good reads:
How to Recover From Burnout & Love Work Again According to Science
How to Eliminate Burnout and Retain Top Talent
While "perfect," is an unattainable standard, many people struggle to accept the inevitable: that striving for the impossible goal of perfection leads to stress, burnout, sickness and feelings of failure.
SHOW NOTES
We know that perfection is the state of being without flaw or defects - and we all know that perfection is not really attainably. It may be that some of us everyone once in a while achieve perfection, but perfection is not something most of us achieve. Perfectionism is the refusal or inability to accept anything short of perfect. Friend, do you see the cognitive dissonance here, the undeniable catch-22? Perfectionists are trying to achieve the unattainable. Painful - to the individual who is the perfectionist as well as those around her.
We want to make sure not to confuse high achiever with perfectionist. And there are even some great descriptions for this.
Adaptive perfectionist: aka high-achievers: adaptive perfectionism means that a person thrives on doing some, but crucially not all, things well. In the words of Stoltz & Ashby 2007 “adaptive perfectionism is characterised as a normal, healthy type of perfectionism and is defined by deriving satisfaction from achievements made from intense effort but tolerating the imperfections….”
Adaptive perfectionists are the women who embrace the reality that it’s simply impossible to achieve complete perfection and instead aim for a high standard of work in those tasks they do well, and that play to their unique strengths. These women are telling themselves more of the truth about who they are and the circumstances that are in - they are adaptive.
Maladapted perfectionism is such a great descriptor because we start off right away knowing this is not a good thing. The maladapted perfectionist is likely on a path to pain. These women are very hard on themselves when perfection is not achieved. And these kinds of unrealistic expectations and responses lead to depression, anxiety and increased levels of stress.
We can have high standards, the question is what happens when reality comes crashing in and our high expectations have not been mer. Failure is inevitable - and, you guessed it - far more stressful on the maladapted gal than the adaptive gal. Crina shares a story about her own sense of perfectionism getting in the way of her own fun - she wanted to be excellent and when she was not, she gave up - until, smarty chick that she is - she realized that approach was no way to love and it was far better to have more fun - even if she was not excellent at whatever was fun.
As with most things, none of us neatly fall into one category or another and may see ourselves in both. What are the indicia of tipping over into maladaptive rather than the sweet spot of adaptive:
Do people tell you you are difficult to change
Do you want to change your body?
Do you notice others’ mistakes?
Do you notice the mistakes you made?
When you try something new that you are not good at - do you give up?
Do you focus on the success or the failure?
Do you procrastinate or avoid tasks regularly?
Mistakes are flaws versus opportunities to learn?
Kirsten shares that the legal profession is toxic perfectionism. Making a mistake can hurt your client - and is malpractice - there is no room for mistakes. It is the part of practicing law she has most struggled with over her career because it is based on a falsehood - we all make mistakes and that standard of perfection fails to acknowledge the human behind the work.
The disturbing news is that perfectionism is on the rise. A 2019 study that evaluated more than 40,000 college students found a 33% rise in perfectionism from 1989 to 2016.
But this should be good news for the workplace, right? We want a bunch of perfectionists doing great work, right? Surprisingly, no - we do not! A vast meta-analysis of 30 years of studies, conducted at the Georgia Institute of Technology, found there was no relationship between perfectionism and job performance for either group (failure avoiding or excellence seeking) , says researcher Dana Harari, who worked on the meta-analysis. “To me, the most important takeaway of this research is the null relationship between perfectionism and performance,” she says. “It's not positive, it's not negative, it's just really null.” Is that the craziest thing? Perfectionism does not lead to better work performance.
You know our hosts are not going to leave our lady friends hanging!
Go for the B
Give 80%- As Cinzia BuBois says, “Giving 100 percent should be saved for those special passion projects or for those most treasured people in your life. If you give 100 percent to everything and everyone around you, the quality of your output will go down. You’ll become burnt out, exhausted, and resentful. Not only is 100 percent unrealistic, it doesn’t allow room for learning. Getting an 80 percent always puts you in the higher tiers of anything in life; it’s not perfect, but it’s still rather outstanding. By striving for 80 percent, you allow room for perseverance, flexibility, and diligence, uncorrupted by the fear of failure (or rather, imperfection).” The Perfectionism Epidemic. We live in a society where failure is… | by Cinzia DuBois | Achology
Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Done is better than incomplete or worse, never started
Realizing failure isn’t the opposite of success, but part of it. No one can learn without making mistakes, and no project, skill, or relationship can grow without learning. We’re not supposed to be perfect the first time around
Recovery activities are critical when you do give it your all - you need to rest and restore and re-energize - you know self-care.
To all you fabulous females out there, some of this may be counterintuitive in the workplace, but the data supports that perfectionism is not correlative with performance - and it can cause suffering - to our minds, our hearts and our bodies. Get yourself a B and carefully choose when you bring the A game.
Good reads
Being a perfectionist is good for your career, right?
Obsessed with Perfection: How to Overcome Toxic Perfectionism in a Highly Competitive World
The Trouble with Toxic Perfectionism
The Pros and Cons of Perfectionism, According to Research (hbr.org)
Obsessed with Perfection: How to Overcome Toxic Perfectionism in a Highly Competitive World
Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. (apa.org)
While "perfect," is an unattainable standard, many people struggle to accept the inevitable: that striving for the impossible goal of perfection leads to stress, burnout, sickness and feelings of failure.
SHOW NOTES
We know that perfection is the state of being without flaw or defects - and we all know that perfection is not really attainably. It may be that some of us everyone once in a while achieve perfection, but perfection is not something most of us achieve. Perfectionism is the refusal or inability to accept anything short of perfect. Friend, do you see the cognitive dissonance here, the undeniable catch-22? Perfectionists are trying to achieve the unattainable. Painful - to the individual who is the perfectionist as well as those around her.
We want to make sure not to confuse high achiever with perfectionist. And there are even some great descriptions for this.
Adaptive perfectionist: aka high-achievers: adaptive perfectionism means that a person thrives on doing some, but crucially not all, things well. In the words of Stoltz & Ashby 2007 “adaptive perfectionism is characterised as a normal, healthy type of perfectionism and is defined by deriving satisfaction from achievements made from intense effort but tolerating the imperfections….”
Adaptive perfectionists are the women who embrace the reality that it’s simply impossible to achieve complete perfection and instead aim for a high standard of work in those tasks they do well, and that play to their unique strengths. These women are telling themselves more of the truth about who they are and the circumstances that are in - they are adaptive.
Maladapted perfectionism is such a great descriptor because we start off right away knowing this is not a good thing. The maladapted perfectionist is likely on a path to pain. These women are very hard on themselves when perfection is not achieved. And these kinds of unrealistic expectations and responses lead to depression, anxiety and increased levels of stress.
We can have high standards, the question is what happens when reality comes crashing in and our high expectations have not been mer. Failure is inevitable - and, you guessed it - far more stressful on the maladapted gal than the adaptive gal. Crina shares a story about her own sense of perfectionism getting in the way of her own fun - she wanted to be excellent and when she was not, she gave up - until, smarty chick that she is - she realized that approach was no way to love and it was far better to have more fun - even if she was not excellent at whatever was fun.
As with most things, none of us neatly fall into one category or another and may see ourselves in both. What are the indicia of tipping over into maladaptive rather than the sweet spot of adaptive:
Do people tell you you are difficult to change
Do you want to change your body?
Do you notice others’ mistakes?
Do you notice the mistakes you made?
When you try something new that you are not good at - do you give up?
Do you focus on the success or the failure?
Do you procrastinate or avoid tasks regularly?
Mistakes are flaws versus opportunities to learn?
Kirsten shares that the legal profession is toxic perfectionism. Making a mistake can hurt your client - and is malpractice - there is no room for mistakes. It is the part of practicing law she has most struggled with over her career because it is based on a falsehood - we all make mistakes and that standard of perfection fails to acknowledge the human behind the work.
The disturbing news is that perfectionism is on the rise. A 2019 study that evaluated more than 40,000 college students found a 33% rise in perfectionism from 1989 to 2016.
But this should be good news for the workplace, right? We want a bunch of perfectionists doing great work, right? Surprisingly, no - we do not! A vast meta-analysis of 30 years of studies, conducted at the Georgia Institute of Technology, found there was no relationship between perfectionism and job performance for either group (failure avoiding or excellence seeking) , says researcher Dana Harari, who worked on the meta-analysis. “To me, the most important takeaway of this research is the null relationship between perfectionism and performance,” she says. “It's not positive, it's not negative, it's just really null.” Is that the craziest thing? Perfectionism does not lead to better work performance.
You know our hosts are not going to leave our lady friends hanging!
Go for the B
Give 80%- As Cinzia BuBois says, “Giving 100 percent should be saved for those special passion projects or for those most treasured people in your life. If you give 100 percent to everything and everyone around you, the quality of your output will go down. You’ll become burnt out, exhausted, and resentful. Not only is 100 percent unrealistic, it doesn’t allow room for learning. Getting an 80 percent always puts you in the higher tiers of anything in life; it’s not perfect, but it’s still rather outstanding. By striving for 80 percent, you allow room for perseverance, flexibility, and diligence, uncorrupted by the fear of failure (or rather, imperfection).” The Perfectionism Epidemic. We live in a society where failure is… | by Cinzia DuBois | Achology
Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good. Done is better than incomplete or worse, never started
Realizing failure isn’t the opposite of success, but part of it. No one can learn without making mistakes, and no project, skill, or relationship can grow without learning. We’re not supposed to be perfect the first time around
Recovery activities are critical when you do give it your all - you need to rest and restore and re-energize - you know self-care.
To all you fabulous females out there, some of this may be counterintuitive in the workplace, but the data supports that perfectionism is not correlative with performance - and it can cause suffering - to our minds, our hearts and our bodies. Get yourself a B and carefully choose when you bring the A game.
Good reads
Being a perfectionist is good for your career, right?
Obsessed with Perfection: How to Overcome Toxic Perfectionism in a Highly Competitive World
The Trouble with Toxic Perfectionism
The Pros and Cons of Perfectionism, According to Research (hbr.org)
Obsessed with Perfection: How to Overcome Toxic Perfectionism in a Highly Competitive World
Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. (apa.org)
The entire workforce is changing, right before our eyes. As millions of workers are leaving their jobs every month, employers are facing tough questions about how to attract and retain talent. Meanwhile, workers in every single profession are seeking more ease, meaning and joy in their jobs. Welcome to the Great Resignation!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our pair of pretties riff on what has become known as The Great Resignation. Yes, people are leaving the workforce in droves, and not returning to the workforce after being laid off due to COVID. There is essentially a mass exodus from the workplace.
So here are some jarring stats:
We know a little about why they are leaving. The vast majority spent that time trapped in their home thinking about their current work situation and realized they needed a change. Stress and burnout are also significant factors as people, particularly women push the eject button. Some are just dissatisfied with how their employer has handed COVID, others cite unfairness and others just decided being a two income household was too much and made the decision to live with just one income. And some have been motivated to take the leap and start their own business.
If you are one of those employees looking for the door, our hosts have some ideas:
If you are one of those managers looking to keep your employees, consider these strategies:
And there is some anecdotal proof that these kinds of measures work. A study of more than 400,000 people published in Harvard Business Review found that when employees believe promotions are managed effectively, employee turnover rates are half that of other companies in the same industry.
The last 20 months have been a very unusual and upsetting time. It is understandable that the vast majority of us are reconsidering how we spend our work time - and it makes sense that we are considering a change. If you are a manager, accepting that reality and being the preferred employer is important if you want to retain your employees. If you are an employee, plan carefully, but the workplace is your metaphorical oyster (you know, the one with the pearl) in ways it has never been.
The entire workforce is changing, right before our eyes. As millions of workers are leaving their jobs every month, employers are facing tough questions about how to attract and retain talent. Meanwhile, workers in every single profession are seeking more ease, meaning and joy in their jobs. Welcome to the Great Resignation!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our pair of pretties riff on what has become known as The Great Resignation. Yes, people are leaving the workforce in droves, and not returning to the workforce after being laid off due to COVID. There is essentially a mass exodus from the workplace.
So here are some jarring stats:
We know a little about why they are leaving. The vast majority spent that time trapped in their home thinking about their current work situation and realized they needed a change. Stress and burnout are also significant factors as people, particularly women push the eject button. Some are just dissatisfied with how their employer has handed COVID, others cite unfairness and others just decided being a two income household was too much and made the decision to live with just one income. And some have been motivated to take the leap and start their own business.
If you are one of those employees looking for the door, our hosts have some ideas:
If you are one of those managers looking to keep your employees, consider these strategies:
And there is some anecdotal proof that these kinds of measures work. A study of more than 400,000 people published in Harvard Business Review found that when employees believe promotions are managed effectively, employee turnover rates are half that of other companies in the same industry.
The last 20 months have been a very unusual and upsetting time. It is understandable that the vast majority of us are reconsidering how we spend our work time - and it makes sense that we are considering a change. If you are a manager, accepting that reality and being the preferred employer is important if you want to retain your employees. If you are an employee, plan carefully, but the workplace is your metaphorical oyster (you know, the one with the pearl) in ways it has never been.
Healthy boundaries at work can make the difference between professional fulfillment or burnout. Boundaries are the physical, emotional, and mental limits we create to protect ourselves from over-committing, being used or behaving in unethical ways.
SHOW NOTES
Boundaries separate what we think and feel from the thoughts and feelings of others. How to Define Healthy Boundaries at Work — Melody Wilding
Crina talks about capital “B” boundaries that are strong, not subject to negotiation with little flexibility. Lower case “b” boundaries are more porous, flexible and may change depending on circumstances.
A boundary is a container around your time, mental and emotional energy, relationships, physical body and material and energetic resources.
Where do we see boundaries at work?
How you spend your time
What you agree to do - or not do
How you spend your energy
What do you need for your physical space
How you want to communicate in the office
Our job descriptions and our fte status are significant boundaries at work.
Boundaries are important because they allow you to be more of you. They walk hand in hand with our self-worth. They allow us to maintain our energy and resilience. They guide healthy relationships.
We see boundaries in action at work when we do not allow others to speak to us in a rude or condescending manner, when we protect our space - a closed door, separation from a co-worker in a meeting, setting priorities in your work.
Boundaries between work and our personal lives are also important. Workers tend to fall into three categories as they define their work and personal boundaries - separators, integrators and cyclers. Separators are 9 to 5ers (or whatever the hours) - folks who clock in and clock out and work and personal do not bleed into each other. Integrators tend to go between work and personal all of the time - these are the folks who cannot tell you how much they work because they are meshing their work and personal lives to a significant degree. Cyclers are those folks who spend a significant amount of their energy and time on work in big chunks - firefighters who work for a week and then are off for a week. Understanding how you separate work and personal is helpful in analyzing your own boundaries and whether those are respected.
Our hosts conclude with examples of boundaries gone bad in the workplace.
More good reads:
Kossek inpress10 Managing Work-Life Boundaries in the Digital Age.pdf (bc.edu)
How to set clear work boundaries — and stick to them | (ted.com)
The Successful Woman’s Guide to Setting Boundaries – Without Being a Bitch - Women Igniting Change
Healthy boundaries at work can make the difference between professional fulfillment or burnout. Boundaries are the physical, emotional, and mental limits we create to protect ourselves from over-committing, being used or behaving in unethical ways.
SHOW NOTES
Boundaries separate what we think and feel from the thoughts and feelings of others. How to Define Healthy Boundaries at Work — Melody Wilding
Crina talks about capital “B” boundaries that are strong, not subject to negotiation with little flexibility. Lower case “b” boundaries are more porous, flexible and may change depending on circumstances.
A boundary is a container around your time, mental and emotional energy, relationships, physical body and material and energetic resources.
Where do we see boundaries at work?
How you spend your time
What you agree to do - or not do
How you spend your energy
What do you need for your physical space
How you want to communicate in the office
Our job descriptions and our fte status are significant boundaries at work.
Boundaries are important because they allow you to be more of you. They walk hand in hand with our self-worth. They allow us to maintain our energy and resilience. They guide healthy relationships.
We see boundaries in action at work when we do not allow others to speak to us in a rude or condescending manner, when we protect our space - a closed door, separation from a co-worker in a meeting, setting priorities in your work.
Boundaries between work and our personal lives are also important. Workers tend to fall into three categories as they define their work and personal boundaries - separators, integrators and cyclers. Separators are 9 to 5ers (or whatever the hours) - folks who clock in and clock out and work and personal do not bleed into each other. Integrators tend to go between work and personal all of the time - these are the folks who cannot tell you how much they work because they are meshing their work and personal lives to a significant degree. Cyclers are those folks who spend a significant amount of their energy and time on work in big chunks - firefighters who work for a week and then are off for a week. Understanding how you separate work and personal is helpful in analyzing your own boundaries and whether those are respected.
Our hosts conclude with examples of boundaries gone bad in the workplace.
More good reads:
Kossek inpress10 Managing Work-Life Boundaries in the Digital Age.pdf (bc.edu)
How to set clear work boundaries — and stick to them | (ted.com)
The Successful Woman’s Guide to Setting Boundaries – Without Being a Bitch - Women Igniting Change
You will find meaning and purpose in your work when you are able to craft, change, modify and align your daily tasks to match your values. In fact, some say that finding meaning at work is more about what you do with what you have, instead of what you start with.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle part II of this two-part series on meaning in the workplace. In Part I, Crina and Kirsten discussed the importance of meaning at work and that meaning arises when we find alignment with our values.
Identifying our values allows us, hopefully, to match those values to those of our employer. This is where our internal work on values can overlap with the external world – in this case our employer.
The good news is that meaning is more about what we do with what we have instead of what we start with. Some folks may be in a job that completely aligns with their values – maybe a teacher who values teaching and children and being of service and her employer supports her in those values. Not that she loves everything she does, but her internal values coincide with her external work experience.
So, what do we do when that is not the case?
There are a number of ways to modify our internal and external worlds to align with our values and create meaning.
Amy Wresniewski. professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, with the assistance of her colleagues, introduced the concept of job crafting. In studying the work of a group of janitors at a hospital, she discovered the janitors experienced the same job in different ways – and fell into two distinct groups. One group saw themselves as just janitors, did not think they were highly skilled and would describe their job as cleaning. The other group talked about their work in relation to patients and visitors’ care. In fact, most of how those in this second group described their job was not even in the job description. They discussed tasks such as changing the art on the walls of patients who were in a coma or cleaning the floor extra times in the rooms of patients who did not have visitors, or guiding visitors to where they were going. This second group viewed their work as providing a safe and clean place for people to get healthy and heal or as ambassadors for the hospital. She called what the second group was doing job crafting.
Wresniewski describes job crafting as “[w}hat employees do to redesign their own jobs in ways that foster engagement at work, job satisfaction, resilience and thriving.” (Berg, Wrzensniewski and Dutton, 2010) Job crafting can be changing the task you perform – adding or dropping responsibilities – like the janitor cleaning the floor of a lonely patient several times a day. It can also be in creating certain types of interactions – who do we want to work with and how? We can choose who we brainstorm with, sometimes who we work with on a project and even sometimes who we serve so that these people add meaning to our work. Job crafting can also be changing your mindset about what you are doing, which is also something the janitors did – realizing their job was not cleaning floors, but providing a place for people to heal and get well.
People who job craft tend to have more satisfaction, commitment, happiness and better performance in and with their jobs. It is a really good way for people to find meaning at work.
Employees will likely job craft– often not even being aware of it. Managers and supervisors should recognize this and support it. We know it has an incredibly positive effect in the workplace when employees find meaning in their work – and job crafting is one significant way employees find meaning in their work. Leadership can consider:
And here are some good reads:
Job Crafting - Amy Wrzesniewski on creating meaning in your own work
Help your employees find purpose--or watch them leave
Igniting individual purpose in times of crisis
The Why Of Work: Purpose And Meaning Really Do Matter
Positive Workplace What is Job Crafting? (Incl. 5 Examples and Exercises)
You will find meaning and purpose in your work when you are able to craft, change, modify and align your daily tasks to match your values. In fact, some say that finding meaning at work is more about what you do with what you have, instead of what you start with.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle part II of this two-part series on meaning in the workplace. In Part I, Crina and Kirsten discussed the importance of meaning at work and that meaning arises when we find alignment with our values.
Identifying our values allows us, hopefully, to match those values to those of our employer. This is where our internal work on values can overlap with the external world – in this case our employer.
The good news is that meaning is more about what we do with what we have instead of what we start with. Some folks may be in a job that completely aligns with their values – maybe a teacher who values teaching and children and being of service and her employer supports her in those values. Not that she loves everything she does, but her internal values coincide with her external work experience.
So, what do we do when that is not the case?
There are a number of ways to modify our internal and external worlds to align with our values and create meaning.
Amy Wresniewski. professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, with the assistance of her colleagues, introduced the concept of job crafting. In studying the work of a group of janitors at a hospital, she discovered the janitors experienced the same job in different ways – and fell into two distinct groups. One group saw themselves as just janitors, did not think they were highly skilled and would describe their job as cleaning. The other group talked about their work in relation to patients and visitors’ care. In fact, most of how those in this second group described their job was not even in the job description. They discussed tasks such as changing the art on the walls of patients who were in a coma or cleaning the floor extra times in the rooms of patients who did not have visitors, or guiding visitors to where they were going. This second group viewed their work as providing a safe and clean place for people to get healthy and heal or as ambassadors for the hospital. She called what the second group was doing job crafting.
Wresniewski describes job crafting as “[w}hat employees do to redesign their own jobs in ways that foster engagement at work, job satisfaction, resilience and thriving.” (Berg, Wrzensniewski and Dutton, 2010) Job crafting can be changing the task you perform – adding or dropping responsibilities – like the janitor cleaning the floor of a lonely patient several times a day. It can also be in creating certain types of interactions – who do we want to work with and how? We can choose who we brainstorm with, sometimes who we work with on a project and even sometimes who we serve so that these people add meaning to our work. Job crafting can also be changing your mindset about what you are doing, which is also something the janitors did – realizing their job was not cleaning floors, but providing a place for people to heal and get well.
People who job craft tend to have more satisfaction, commitment, happiness and better performance in and with their jobs. It is a really good way for people to find meaning at work.
Employees will likely job craft– often not even being aware of it. Managers and supervisors should recognize this and support it. We know it has an incredibly positive effect in the workplace when employees find meaning in their work – and job crafting is one significant way employees find meaning in their work. Leadership can consider:
And here are some good reads:
Job Crafting - Amy Wrzesniewski on creating meaning in your own work
Help your employees find purpose--or watch them leave
Igniting individual purpose in times of crisis
The Why Of Work: Purpose And Meaning Really Do Matter
Positive Workplace What is Job Crafting? (Incl. 5 Examples and Exercises)
A key to finding meaning at work lies in your ability to align your daily tasks with your values. It doesn’t matter what kind of work you do, it only matters that you, personally, know what you care about and express those values in your job. When you find meaning, or purpose, at work you are more productive, healthier, resilient, and more fun to be around!
SHOW NOTES
In Part I of a two part series on finding meaning at work, our hale and happy hosts spend some time diving into what meaning is, why it is important and the backbone of meaning - identifying your values.
What are we talking about when we say meaning? Meaning is the connection between two or more things or ideas that together fulfill a higher purpose, create esteem or admiration, have a positive impact, transcend our instincts or our view of what we can achieve or makes sense (aka lofty goals). This is according to Kirsten and The Meaning of Life (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
Meaning is not happiness, it is not good character. It is the connection between ourselves and one of those “lofty goals.” Sometimes we find meaning because we are providing for our families, or helping someone else, being of service, discovering something new, solving problems, protecting the environment etc . . .
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
“People who live their purpose at work are more productive than people who don’t. They are also healthier, more resilient, and more likely to stay at the company. Moreover, when employees feel that their purpose is aligned with the organization’s purpose, the benefits expand to include stronger employee engagement, heightened loyalty, and a greater willingness to recommend the company to others.” Help your employees find purpose--or watch them leave
Simply put - meaning is good for us and good for the workplace. Meaning at work makes us:
And if this wasn’t enough, individual purpose benefits organizations, too… People who find their individual purpose congruent with their jobs tend to get more meaning from their roles, making them more productive and more likely to outperform their peers. Igniting individual purpose in times of crisis.
HOW DO WE FIND MEANING:
Ideally, work is a place where you can express your values - it is a calling. There are external factors - the work and the workplace that affect this and well an internal factors.
As always, the good and bad news is that we have more ability to affect change when it comes to our internal experience.
Values are the things that are most important in our lives. When values and goals are aligned, we are much more likely to motivate ourselves towards action and success.
According to Simon Senik values need to be actionable Here is his terrific TEDTalk: Honesty is NOT a Value | Simon Sinek Values are not nouns, but actions. He gives these great examples:
Honesty vs “tell the truth”
Innovation vs “allow for experimentation”
Humor vs. “laugh everyday”
Most of us have a sense of our values and can list our values. However, it is interesting to move past your assumptions and reflect on them from an independent source. For example, The Values Project is a decades-long effort to get people in touch with their values. Click on the link to test your assumptions about your values. The Values Project | Let's reveal what matters to you. Getting clear on your values is the first step to finding meaning at work.
A key to finding meaning at work lies in your ability to align your daily tasks with your values. It doesn’t matter what kind of work you do, it only matters that you, personally, know what you care about and express those values in your job. When you find meaning, or purpose, at work you are more productive, healthier, resilient, and more fun to be around!
SHOW NOTES
In Part I of a two part series on finding meaning at work, our hale and happy hosts spend some time diving into what meaning is, why it is important and the backbone of meaning - identifying your values.
What are we talking about when we say meaning? Meaning is the connection between two or more things or ideas that together fulfill a higher purpose, create esteem or admiration, have a positive impact, transcend our instincts or our view of what we can achieve or makes sense (aka lofty goals). This is according to Kirsten and The Meaning of Life (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
Meaning is not happiness, it is not good character. It is the connection between ourselves and one of those “lofty goals.” Sometimes we find meaning because we are providing for our families, or helping someone else, being of service, discovering something new, solving problems, protecting the environment etc . . .
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
“People who live their purpose at work are more productive than people who don’t. They are also healthier, more resilient, and more likely to stay at the company. Moreover, when employees feel that their purpose is aligned with the organization’s purpose, the benefits expand to include stronger employee engagement, heightened loyalty, and a greater willingness to recommend the company to others.” Help your employees find purpose--or watch them leave
Simply put - meaning is good for us and good for the workplace. Meaning at work makes us:
And if this wasn’t enough, individual purpose benefits organizations, too… People who find their individual purpose congruent with their jobs tend to get more meaning from their roles, making them more productive and more likely to outperform their peers. Igniting individual purpose in times of crisis.
HOW DO WE FIND MEANING:
Ideally, work is a place where you can express your values - it is a calling. There are external factors - the work and the workplace that affect this and well an internal factors.
As always, the good and bad news is that we have more ability to affect change when it comes to our internal experience.
Values are the things that are most important in our lives. When values and goals are aligned, we are much more likely to motivate ourselves towards action and success.
According to Simon Senik values need to be actionable Here is his terrific TEDTalk: Honesty is NOT a Value | Simon Sinek Values are not nouns, but actions. He gives these great examples:
Honesty vs “tell the truth”
Innovation vs “allow for experimentation”
Humor vs. “laugh everyday”
Most of us have a sense of our values and can list our values. However, it is interesting to move past your assumptions and reflect on them from an independent source. For example, The Values Project is a decades-long effort to get people in touch with their values. Click on the link to test your assumptions about your values. The Values Project | Let's reveal what matters to you. Getting clear on your values is the first step to finding meaning at work.
Trauma and toxic stress is pervasive in the workplace. You, your friends, your coworkers are all dealing with some version of trauma from, among other things, adverse childhood experiences, the pandemic, climate change, natural disasters, poverty and racism. While all events impact us individually, it’s important to recognize the signs of trauma and normalize trauma-informed workplaces.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our dynamic duo takes on trauma. The pandemic is a traumatic event, whether we know it or not - although its impacts on us individually are very different.
This episode draws from an article advancing a trauma informed approach to work - and while we of course need to be aware of our own trauma, being aware of co-workers’ trauma is important in creating the kind of workplace we all want - one with ease, meaning and joy.
Here is the article. TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH TO WORKFORCE
Trauma is physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening experiences with lasting adverse effects on our functioning, mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. This can be things like a physical assault, verbal abuse, witnessing someone else endure these experiences. Kirsten and Crina think that toxic and prolonged stress has much the same effect as trauma. Think the pandemic, racism, political unrest - yes, friends, we have had it all.
When we experience trauma or toxic stress, we can feel disassociated, persecuted, depressed, negative and disheartened. We can experience physical pain and discomfort, nightmares, insomnia, mood swings and panic attacks. And things we may struggle with in normal times, like anxiety, become more difficult to deal with.
Our brains are literally hard-wired to deal with trauma and toxic stress. When the brain senses danger, the amygdala springs into action, which causes the sympathetic nervous system to fight, take flight, or freeze. Blood and oxygen are diverted to muscles and away from our brains, and a surge of adrenaline enables us to fight or take flight. Cortisol is released to inhibit any pain that might slow us down. All systems not crucial to survival are suppressed. Basically, the “survival” brain overrides the “rational” or “thinking brain” in the cerebral cortex, where rational thought and executive functioning, like problem solving and cooperating with others, take place. And when your brain sends these signals over and over again, well, it is overwhelming. Now, imagine that you have to show up and work - or these things are going on at your work - yikes!
Most importantly, we need to manage our own trauma and toxic stress - and there are some great strategies for doing so: get outside, connect with people you love and who are energy giving, simplify your life, love on your dogs and cats, find something to be grateful for - (chocolate?), extend grace and compassion to yourself, and reset your nervous system with yoga, breathing, meditation and movement in general.
After addressing what we can do about our own trauma and toxic stress, Crina and Kirsten dive into what about others’ trauma and toxic stress in the workplace. And there are a lot of folks in the workplace with trauma and toxic stress - in fact two-thirds of us have experienced some kind of childhood trauma.
The first step is to educate ourselves - like this podcast! The next step is to normalize these experiences. And provide space for these experiences. As a co-worker, look for the signs of trauma and stress. Be curious, listen and if someone does open up to you, try not to problem solve unless specifically asked, be a witness, hold space. One on one check ins are a great opportunity for this.
If you are in a place to influence the workplace, encourage employees to take breaks, make sure the break room is not just caffeine and sugar, institute scheduled stretching times, consider an educational program for all staff on these issues.
As Oprah says, “I'm really proud to say that even in my worst moments, I've always had the good sense to know that however bad things were, they wouldn't remain so."
A TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH TO WORKFORCE
Signs & Symptoms of Psychological & Emotional Trauma | Cascade Behavioral Health
Trauma and toxic stress is pervasive in the workplace. You, your friends, your coworkers are all dealing with some version of trauma from, among other things, adverse childhood experiences, the pandemic, climate change, natural disasters, poverty and racism. While all events impact us individually, it’s important to recognize the signs of trauma and normalize trauma-informed workplaces.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our dynamic duo takes on trauma. The pandemic is a traumatic event, whether we know it or not - although its impacts on us individually are very different.
This episode draws from an article advancing a trauma informed approach to work - and while we of course need to be aware of our own trauma, being aware of co-workers’ trauma is important in creating the kind of workplace we all want - one with ease, meaning and joy.
Here is the article. TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH TO WORKFORCE
Trauma is physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening experiences with lasting adverse effects on our functioning, mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. This can be things like a physical assault, verbal abuse, witnessing someone else endure these experiences. Kirsten and Crina think that toxic and prolonged stress has much the same effect as trauma. Think the pandemic, racism, political unrest - yes, friends, we have had it all.
When we experience trauma or toxic stress, we can feel disassociated, persecuted, depressed, negative and disheartened. We can experience physical pain and discomfort, nightmares, insomnia, mood swings and panic attacks. And things we may struggle with in normal times, like anxiety, become more difficult to deal with.
Our brains are literally hard-wired to deal with trauma and toxic stress. When the brain senses danger, the amygdala springs into action, which causes the sympathetic nervous system to fight, take flight, or freeze. Blood and oxygen are diverted to muscles and away from our brains, and a surge of adrenaline enables us to fight or take flight. Cortisol is released to inhibit any pain that might slow us down. All systems not crucial to survival are suppressed. Basically, the “survival” brain overrides the “rational” or “thinking brain” in the cerebral cortex, where rational thought and executive functioning, like problem solving and cooperating with others, take place. And when your brain sends these signals over and over again, well, it is overwhelming. Now, imagine that you have to show up and work - or these things are going on at your work - yikes!
Most importantly, we need to manage our own trauma and toxic stress - and there are some great strategies for doing so: get outside, connect with people you love and who are energy giving, simplify your life, love on your dogs and cats, find something to be grateful for - (chocolate?), extend grace and compassion to yourself, and reset your nervous system with yoga, breathing, meditation and movement in general.
After addressing what we can do about our own trauma and toxic stress, Crina and Kirsten dive into what about others’ trauma and toxic stress in the workplace. And there are a lot of folks in the workplace with trauma and toxic stress - in fact two-thirds of us have experienced some kind of childhood trauma.
The first step is to educate ourselves - like this podcast! The next step is to normalize these experiences. And provide space for these experiences. As a co-worker, look for the signs of trauma and stress. Be curious, listen and if someone does open up to you, try not to problem solve unless specifically asked, be a witness, hold space. One on one check ins are a great opportunity for this.
If you are in a place to influence the workplace, encourage employees to take breaks, make sure the break room is not just caffeine and sugar, institute scheduled stretching times, consider an educational program for all staff on these issues.
As Oprah says, “I'm really proud to say that even in my worst moments, I've always had the good sense to know that however bad things were, they wouldn't remain so."
A TRAUMA-INFORMED APPROACH TO WORKFORCE
Signs & Symptoms of Psychological & Emotional Trauma | Cascade Behavioral Health
Advocating for yourself, confronting a coworker, asking for a raise...these courageous conversations are nerve wracking at best and in some cases, cause great anxiety. But avoiding difficult conversations is not an option if you want ease, meaning and joy at work.
SHOW NOTES
As most of us know – things are bad out there. We are fractured about politics, COVID, black lives and all sort of other things. As we have become fractured and unable to engage in meaningful conversation about our positions, beliefs and opinions, we “other” each other.
“Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized, we are more divided, than we ever have been in history. We're less likely to compromise, which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other. A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.” Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation. When we do not know and understand each other, it is easier for us to dismiss, denigrate and discriminate against each other.
It turns out not addressing difficult issues is also creating problems at work. We spend almost three hours a week at work dealing with a workplace conflict caused by people who should have taken part in a difficult/courageous conversation. About a third of these conflicts lead to personal injury or attacks, 22% of us are sick because of these conflicts and about a third of us leave our jobs because of one of these conflicts that could be solved with difficult conversations. The Work Conversations We Dread the Most, According to Research.
What makes a difficult conversation so hard? It turns out that it is fear and embarrassment. Emotions are high – we are angry, upset, frustrated, disappointed. We are afraid we will lose something we will care about or something will challenge our identity and sense of self.
Once you identify an issue that calls for a difficult or courageous conversation – get yourself ready. BE CURIOUS. ASSUME THE BEST INTENTIONS IN THE OTHER PERSON AND GET OUT OF FAULT AND BLAME.
Once we get into the right mindset, we can plan our conversation.
What is the purpose?
What are your assumptions?
What emotional buttons do you anticipate being “pushed” and how do you keep calm when that happens?
What is your attitude about the conversation?
What are your needs and fears?
We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations | Judy Ringer
Plan the first thing you will say in the conversation. Getting off on the right foot is important? What is your opening line?
During the conversation ask questions, acknowledge the other person’s feelings and position, advocate for your position without minimizing the other person and be solution oriented.13 Ways To Have Difficult Conversations With Clients
Let’s get out there and have that difficult conversation in the most courageous way – we can do it!
Advocating for yourself, confronting a coworker, asking for a raise...these courageous conversations are nerve wracking at best and in some cases, cause great anxiety. But avoiding difficult conversations is not an option if you want ease, meaning and joy at work.
SHOW NOTES
As most of us know – things are bad out there. We are fractured about politics, COVID, black lives and all sort of other things. As we have become fractured and unable to engage in meaningful conversation about our positions, beliefs and opinions, we “other” each other.
“Pew Research did a study of 10,000 American adults, and they found that at this moment, we are more polarized, we are more divided, than we ever have been in history. We're less likely to compromise, which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are going to be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other. A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.” Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation. When we do not know and understand each other, it is easier for us to dismiss, denigrate and discriminate against each other.
It turns out not addressing difficult issues is also creating problems at work. We spend almost three hours a week at work dealing with a workplace conflict caused by people who should have taken part in a difficult/courageous conversation. About a third of these conflicts lead to personal injury or attacks, 22% of us are sick because of these conflicts and about a third of us leave our jobs because of one of these conflicts that could be solved with difficult conversations. The Work Conversations We Dread the Most, According to Research.
What makes a difficult conversation so hard? It turns out that it is fear and embarrassment. Emotions are high – we are angry, upset, frustrated, disappointed. We are afraid we will lose something we will care about or something will challenge our identity and sense of self.
Once you identify an issue that calls for a difficult or courageous conversation – get yourself ready. BE CURIOUS. ASSUME THE BEST INTENTIONS IN THE OTHER PERSON AND GET OUT OF FAULT AND BLAME.
Once we get into the right mindset, we can plan our conversation.
What is the purpose?
What are your assumptions?
What emotional buttons do you anticipate being “pushed” and how do you keep calm when that happens?
What is your attitude about the conversation?
What are your needs and fears?
We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations | Judy Ringer
Plan the first thing you will say in the conversation. Getting off on the right foot is important? What is your opening line?
During the conversation ask questions, acknowledge the other person’s feelings and position, advocate for your position without minimizing the other person and be solution oriented.13 Ways To Have Difficult Conversations With Clients
Let’s get out there and have that difficult conversation in the most courageous way – we can do it!
Every day before work, women shave, shampoo, condition, exfoliate, moisturize, cover-up, tone, powder, brush, style, spray, whiten, clip, paint, smooth, enhance, conceal, deodorize and pluck (did we miss anything?). In fact women spend an average of 27 minutes a day getting ready for work, use somewhere around 16 unique products on their bodies and spend thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes.
Why do we do this? Some women use clothes, hair and makeup as a form of self expression, which is great! But many of us spend time on appearances in order to protect ourselves, fit into the mold and be “acceptable.” Remember what the patriarchy told you: ladies need to look the part in order to be successful.
The truth of the matter is that a woman’s appearance can impact her income, status, and how others perceive her at work.
According to Leah D. Sheppard, an assistant professor at Washington State University who conducted a variety of experiments testing others' perception of attractive women, found that “beautiful women were perceived to be less truthful, less trustworthy as leaders, and more deserving of termination than their ordinary-looking female counterparts.”
On another note, a seminal study conducted by NYU sociologist Dalton Conley and NYU graduate student Rebecca Glauber found that women’s weight gain results in a decrease in both their income level and job prestige. By contrast, men experience no such negative effects.
According to a landmark study from Cornell University, white women who put on an additional 64 pounds, experienced a 9% drop in wages. And according to a 2007 paper from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, there is a statistically significant "wage penalty" for overweight and obese white women. ("Previous studies have shown that white women are the only race-gender group for which weight has a statistically significant effect on wages," according to the paper.) The obese take a bigger hit, with a wage loss of 12%.
And as if that isn’t enough, a more recent study by researchers at Harvard University, Boston University, and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute found makeup was found to increase people’s perceptions of a woman’s likeability and trustworthiness as well.
And finally, although there is no correlation between height and effectiveness or intelligence, a woman who is 5 feet 7 inches tall--well above the national female average of 5 feet, 3.5 inches--will make $5,250 more over the course of a year than a female co-worker standing 5 feet 2 inches.
So what to do about it?
And of course, the good reads:
For Women in Business, Beauty Is a Liability
Think Looks Don't Matter? Think Again
The double standards women face at work every day
The lady stripped bare | Tracey Spicer | TEDxSouthBankWomen
Every day before work, women shave, shampoo, condition, exfoliate, moisturize, cover-up, tone, powder, brush, style, spray, whiten, clip, paint, smooth, enhance, conceal, deodorize and pluck (did we miss anything?). In fact women spend an average of 27 minutes a day getting ready for work, use somewhere around 16 unique products on their bodies and spend thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes.
Why do we do this? Some women use clothes, hair and makeup as a form of self expression, which is great! But many of us spend time on appearances in order to protect ourselves, fit into the mold and be “acceptable.” Remember what the patriarchy told you: ladies need to look the part in order to be successful.
The truth of the matter is that a woman’s appearance can impact her income, status, and how others perceive her at work.
According to Leah D. Sheppard, an assistant professor at Washington State University who conducted a variety of experiments testing others' perception of attractive women, found that “beautiful women were perceived to be less truthful, less trustworthy as leaders, and more deserving of termination than their ordinary-looking female counterparts.”
On another note, a seminal study conducted by NYU sociologist Dalton Conley and NYU graduate student Rebecca Glauber found that women’s weight gain results in a decrease in both their income level and job prestige. By contrast, men experience no such negative effects.
According to a landmark study from Cornell University, white women who put on an additional 64 pounds, experienced a 9% drop in wages. And according to a 2007 paper from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, there is a statistically significant "wage penalty" for overweight and obese white women. ("Previous studies have shown that white women are the only race-gender group for which weight has a statistically significant effect on wages," according to the paper.) The obese take a bigger hit, with a wage loss of 12%.
And as if that isn’t enough, a more recent study by researchers at Harvard University, Boston University, and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute found makeup was found to increase people’s perceptions of a woman’s likeability and trustworthiness as well.
And finally, although there is no correlation between height and effectiveness or intelligence, a woman who is 5 feet 7 inches tall--well above the national female average of 5 feet, 3.5 inches--will make $5,250 more over the course of a year than a female co-worker standing 5 feet 2 inches.
So what to do about it?
And of course, the good reads:
For Women in Business, Beauty Is a Liability
Think Looks Don't Matter? Think Again
The double standards women face at work every day
The lady stripped bare | Tracey Spicer | TEDxSouthBankWomen
When every one of your tasks is urgent, you quickly lose control. In fact, when trapped by urgency, your stress increases, your judgement declines and your anger and anxiety become front-and-center. So how to get out of the urgency trap and start getting yourself some ease, meaning and joy at work? The answers might surprise you!
SHOW NOTES
In the episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts tackle one of the most significant negative impacts on your ease, meaning and joy in the workplace - URGENCY! Yes, the topic is the hair-raising, spine-tingling, sweat producing, pulse racing and shallow breathing of urgency.
When something big or just everything feels urgent, we experience:
And once we experience those things, we experience:
Before you read on - just consider for a moment the bullet points above - a buzzkill on your ease, meaning and joy!
When every task is the most urgent, it limits our mind’s ability to think creatively. Problem solving is nearly impossible, and we resort to rushed, bad decisions that cause our team’s more time and effort in the long run to correct.
Urgency also gets in the way of the things our higher selves want to accomplish - diversity, equity and inclusion, which require us to consider our biases and question our assumptions and conclusions. While we all experience urgency - white culture seems to embrace the nettle of urgency in an almost reverent manner. Sometimes we white folks equate our self worth with the urgency of our attention to someone or some task. WHITE SUPREMACY CULTURE: Characteristics
And while Crina and Kirsten like to give you good news, there is bad news here - our brains are hard wired to respond to urgency. In fact, in order to get our urgency rush, we will give up bigger rewards over the long term. See the reading below for the data and science behind “our brains on urgency.”
If we know urgency has negative effects on our physical, psychological and emotional capacity - and how effective we are at work, how do we minimize urgency - and note - our gals are realistic - urgency is our forever friend, but we have some boundaries with that frenemy urgency:
For those who want to dig in deeper - here are some great reads on the topic:
When every task is top priority,
My Sense of Urgency Is Killing Me (Slowly)
When Everything Is Urgent, Nothing Really Is
When everything feels urgent, choose significant instead
How to manage your time better by fighting "urgency bias" — Quartz at Work (qz.com)
WHITE SUPREMACY CULTURE: Characteristics
The Psychology of Urgency: 9 Ways to Drive Conversions
When every one of your tasks is urgent, you quickly lose control. In fact, when trapped by urgency, your stress increases, your judgement declines and your anger and anxiety become front-and-center. So how to get out of the urgency trap and start getting yourself some ease, meaning and joy at work? The answers might surprise you!
SHOW NOTES
In the episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts tackle one of the most significant negative impacts on your ease, meaning and joy in the workplace - URGENCY! Yes, the topic is the hair-raising, spine-tingling, sweat producing, pulse racing and shallow breathing of urgency.
When something big or just everything feels urgent, we experience:
And once we experience those things, we experience:
Before you read on - just consider for a moment the bullet points above - a buzzkill on your ease, meaning and joy!
When every task is the most urgent, it limits our mind’s ability to think creatively. Problem solving is nearly impossible, and we resort to rushed, bad decisions that cause our team’s more time and effort in the long run to correct.
Urgency also gets in the way of the things our higher selves want to accomplish - diversity, equity and inclusion, which require us to consider our biases and question our assumptions and conclusions. While we all experience urgency - white culture seems to embrace the nettle of urgency in an almost reverent manner. Sometimes we white folks equate our self worth with the urgency of our attention to someone or some task. WHITE SUPREMACY CULTURE: Characteristics
And while Crina and Kirsten like to give you good news, there is bad news here - our brains are hard wired to respond to urgency. In fact, in order to get our urgency rush, we will give up bigger rewards over the long term. See the reading below for the data and science behind “our brains on urgency.”
If we know urgency has negative effects on our physical, psychological and emotional capacity - and how effective we are at work, how do we minimize urgency - and note - our gals are realistic - urgency is our forever friend, but we have some boundaries with that frenemy urgency:
For those who want to dig in deeper - here are some great reads on the topic:
When every task is top priority,
My Sense of Urgency Is Killing Me (Slowly)
When Everything Is Urgent, Nothing Really Is
When everything feels urgent, choose significant instead
How to manage your time better by fighting "urgency bias" — Quartz at Work (qz.com)
WHITE SUPREMACY CULTURE: Characteristics
The Psychology of Urgency: 9 Ways to Drive Conversions
For the first time in history, there are five generations in the workforce...yes, five! And while this might cause some struggles with communication (ahem...did someone say mute?), and possible differences of opinion, it turns out that we all want many of the same things. Yep, we’re talking about ease, meaning and joy.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts consider the impact of five generations of humans on the workforce - yes 5!! Workers from their early seventies until their late teens. In their quest for ease, meaning and joy at work and at life, let’s dive into what this means for us!
The five generations in the workplace include:
See [Infographic]Generational Differences in the Workplace [Infographic]
Lots has changed for some of these folks. There are more women in the workplace, less religion, fewer veterans and less people who are married. How Millennials today compare with their grandparents 50 years ago
It turns out that we can make gross generalizations about each other - see above - :-)! And it also turns out we make even more assumptions about how others think of us.
We all want the same four things:
Working for someone who care about employees well-being
Ethical leadership
Diverse and inclusion of all people
FInancial stability
Tune in and learn how our alikeness is more important than our differences and how our differences create more ease, meaning and joy at work.
And more good reads:
4 Things Gen Z and Millennials Expect From Their Workplace
Just How Different Are Millennials, Gen Xers, and Baby Boomers at Work?
Managing People from 5 Generations
How Millennials today compare with their grandparents 50 years ago
For the first time in history, there are five generations in the workforce...yes, five! And while this might cause some struggles with communication (ahem...did someone say mute?), and possible differences of opinion, it turns out that we all want many of the same things. Yep, we’re talking about ease, meaning and joy.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts consider the impact of five generations of humans on the workforce - yes 5!! Workers from their early seventies until their late teens. In their quest for ease, meaning and joy at work and at life, let’s dive into what this means for us!
The five generations in the workplace include:
See [Infographic]Generational Differences in the Workplace [Infographic]
Lots has changed for some of these folks. There are more women in the workplace, less religion, fewer veterans and less people who are married. How Millennials today compare with their grandparents 50 years ago
It turns out that we can make gross generalizations about each other - see above - :-)! And it also turns out we make even more assumptions about how others think of us.
We all want the same four things:
Working for someone who care about employees well-being
Ethical leadership
Diverse and inclusion of all people
FInancial stability
Tune in and learn how our alikeness is more important than our differences and how our differences create more ease, meaning and joy at work.
And more good reads:
4 Things Gen Z and Millennials Expect From Their Workplace
Just How Different Are Millennials, Gen Xers, and Baby Boomers at Work?
Managing People from 5 Generations
How Millennials today compare with their grandparents 50 years ago
Rest is so much more than sleep. Our minds and bodies also need rest from things like mental stimulation, social encounters, creative endeavors and emotional outputs. Taking time to truly rest your mind, body and soul is the ultimate self care regiment and a direct line to ease, meaning and joy at work, and in life!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts go deep on rest. Of course, there is sleep, but oh so much more. We expend different kinds of energy throughout the day - mental, creative, sensory, physical and social. Consider one meeting in your day - you use mental and possibly creative energy, if you are on Zoom, you are taxing your senses by what you can (and what you cannot) discern from Zoom and you are probably using some of your social energy as well. How is that we renew and restore? No question rest is a big part of the ease, meaning and joy equation.
Why do We Working Women Need Rest?
According to Saundra Dalton-Smith in The 7 Types of Rest that Every Person Needs, “[w]ithout attention to rest, we are creating a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and chronically burned-out individuals.” According to psych central, 70 percent of visits to the doctor are due to stress-related health issues. “Rest is the only way to engage the part of our nervous system that allows for relaxation.” It is literally vital for our physical and mental health.” The 7 types of rest that every person needs | (ted.com)
What Does the Data Say about the Effectiveness of Rest?
Researchers at Stanford did a series of experiments looking at the effects of walking on creativity, as measured by a test of divergent thinking—which asked people to come up with novel ways of using an everyday item, like a brick or a doorstop. The researchers compared participants’ performance under four conditions: while walking on a treadmill, while seated inside, while walking outside, or while being wheeled outside in a wheelchair. Their results showed that walking and being outside each separately led to better performance on the test. Moreover, in one experiment, the researchers showed that the benefits of walking on creativity did not fade immediately, but carried over into performance on future tests. ”https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_resting_more_can_boost_your_productivity
The company Basecamp added another day to the weekend and found productivity unchanged. Workers got done in 4 days what had taken 5. 8 Minute Read Why Restorative Rest Makes You More Productive And How To Achieve It
How Do We Achieve the Restorative Rest
Whether you schedule a walk with a friend (or by yourself), commit to get up from your desk once every hour to get a glass of water, meditate for 10 minutes before you start your day or book your solo vacation - get it on your schedule!
If you want to restore your creative energy - get inspired by listening to music, getting outside in nature, watching the sunset or enjoying beautiful art. If you want to restore your physical energy, sleep - of course, but also just sitting. If you find yourself irritable and unable to concentrate, you may have expended too much mental energy - which is classic Kirsten. Schedule a time to take a breath. Crina schedules lunch and commits to healthy, nutritious food and it is an anchor in her day and restorative in many ways. If you are on sensory overload - turn everything off and shut your eyes - just for 10 deep breaths - and avoid going home and turning the tv on - find some quiet. Emotional energy is complicated - are you holding others emotions or has life just sent you on an emotional roller-coaster? Identify what you need - maybe you need to authentically express your emotions in a safe place or to wrap a metaphorical quilt around your tender soul? Social rest is an obvious one for those of us who are introverts - we need time to ourselves, and so do those of us who are extroverts - we just tend to need less of it and sometimes not realize it. Spiritual rest is the energy to find deep meaning, a sense of purpose and belonging and love. When those things are missing from our lives, it may be time to up our spiritual energy quotient. It could be faith or religion, but Dalton-Smith suggests that you can cultivate a sense of purpose with music, uplifting and inspiring videos, focusing on the magical - such as the bloom of a flower or dew on a leaf - and then going back to these moments when you feel disconnected.
Check out Dalton-Smith’s article above - it is a rich trove of ideas and the inspiration for this show.
Rest is so much more than sleep. Our minds and bodies also need rest from things like mental stimulation, social encounters, creative endeavors and emotional outputs. Taking time to truly rest your mind, body and soul is the ultimate self care regiment and a direct line to ease, meaning and joy at work, and in life!
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts go deep on rest. Of course, there is sleep, but oh so much more. We expend different kinds of energy throughout the day - mental, creative, sensory, physical and social. Consider one meeting in your day - you use mental and possibly creative energy, if you are on Zoom, you are taxing your senses by what you can (and what you cannot) discern from Zoom and you are probably using some of your social energy as well. How is that we renew and restore? No question rest is a big part of the ease, meaning and joy equation.
Why do We Working Women Need Rest?
According to Saundra Dalton-Smith in The 7 Types of Rest that Every Person Needs, “[w]ithout attention to rest, we are creating a culture of high-achieving, high-producing, chronically tired and chronically burned-out individuals.” According to psych central, 70 percent of visits to the doctor are due to stress-related health issues. “Rest is the only way to engage the part of our nervous system that allows for relaxation.” It is literally vital for our physical and mental health.” The 7 types of rest that every person needs | (ted.com)
What Does the Data Say about the Effectiveness of Rest?
Researchers at Stanford did a series of experiments looking at the effects of walking on creativity, as measured by a test of divergent thinking—which asked people to come up with novel ways of using an everyday item, like a brick or a doorstop. The researchers compared participants’ performance under four conditions: while walking on a treadmill, while seated inside, while walking outside, or while being wheeled outside in a wheelchair. Their results showed that walking and being outside each separately led to better performance on the test. Moreover, in one experiment, the researchers showed that the benefits of walking on creativity did not fade immediately, but carried over into performance on future tests. ”https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_resting_more_can_boost_your_productivity
The company Basecamp added another day to the weekend and found productivity unchanged. Workers got done in 4 days what had taken 5. 8 Minute Read Why Restorative Rest Makes You More Productive And How To Achieve It
How Do We Achieve the Restorative Rest
Whether you schedule a walk with a friend (or by yourself), commit to get up from your desk once every hour to get a glass of water, meditate for 10 minutes before you start your day or book your solo vacation - get it on your schedule!
If you want to restore your creative energy - get inspired by listening to music, getting outside in nature, watching the sunset or enjoying beautiful art. If you want to restore your physical energy, sleep - of course, but also just sitting. If you find yourself irritable and unable to concentrate, you may have expended too much mental energy - which is classic Kirsten. Schedule a time to take a breath. Crina schedules lunch and commits to healthy, nutritious food and it is an anchor in her day and restorative in many ways. If you are on sensory overload - turn everything off and shut your eyes - just for 10 deep breaths - and avoid going home and turning the tv on - find some quiet. Emotional energy is complicated - are you holding others emotions or has life just sent you on an emotional roller-coaster? Identify what you need - maybe you need to authentically express your emotions in a safe place or to wrap a metaphorical quilt around your tender soul? Social rest is an obvious one for those of us who are introverts - we need time to ourselves, and so do those of us who are extroverts - we just tend to need less of it and sometimes not realize it. Spiritual rest is the energy to find deep meaning, a sense of purpose and belonging and love. When those things are missing from our lives, it may be time to up our spiritual energy quotient. It could be faith or religion, but Dalton-Smith suggests that you can cultivate a sense of purpose with music, uplifting and inspiring videos, focusing on the magical - such as the bloom of a flower or dew on a leaf - and then going back to these moments when you feel disconnected.
Check out Dalton-Smith’s article above - it is a rich trove of ideas and the inspiration for this show.
Stoicism teaches us how to keep a calm and rational mind no matter what. This ancient philosophy lends insight into understanding and focusing on what you can control while letting go and accepting what you can't.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts do an archaeological dig into an ancient philosophy - Stoicism - to find the golden nuggets to create more ease, meaning and joy at work. The idea for this episode comes from Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic podcast - 2-3 minute Stoic inspired daily meditations to help you live your best life. Ryan is a New Your Times best selling author and his style and content are really relatable. Okay - so now you know it, Kirsten got a little obsessed - and highly recommends the podcast.
Stoicism was created by a dude named Zeno in Athens in the third century BC. Stoicism is a school of philosophy for people who want to get stuff done in the world - then and now. As a side note, it was the philosophical inspiration for cognitive behavioral therapy - cool. It has been a relatively male-dominated school of thought. Crina and Kirsten make it the working woman’s philosophy.
In addition to Zeno, three people took Zenp’s work and ran with it. Marcus Aurelius, reputed to be the last good emperor of the Roman Empire and the most powerful man on earth, journalled his thoughts each day. This journal has been published as the book Meditations. Epictetus was born a slave and went on to found his own school and taught many of Rome’s greatest minds, one of which was Marcus Aurelius. Epictetus’ teachings were memorialized by another of his students, Arrian on Discourses and Enchiridion. Senec was a tutor and adviser to Nero and Rome’s best playwright and super hero power broker – sometimes said to be what we think of as the modern modern day entrepreneur. His personal letters are another source of Stoic philosophy.
Stoicism teaches how to keep a calm and rational mind no matter what happens to you and it helps you understand and focus on what you can control and not worry about and accept what you can't control. The goal of Stoicism is eudaimonia or supreme happiness or fulfilment attainable by human beings - core purpose or the good life – a flourishing, lofty, and smoothly flowing life. The idea is that we can control our own behavior, but not the outcome of our behavior or others’ behaviors; and a calm and rational mind allows us to accept those outcomes.
There are five main elements according to our ametuer Stoics, Kirsten and Crina:
Crina and Kirsten turn to modern female Stoics to explore the importance of emotion in Stoicism, and some core principles applied to women and work, such as The Way is Through, Don’t Make Things Harder than they Need to Be, Impossible Without Your Consent, Keep it Simple, Protect Your Peace of Mind and A Career is Not a Life Sentence.
This episode is a great introduction to Stoicism and how it can bring more ease, meaning and joy to work and life. And of course - the obvious - that men do not have the corner on Stoicism - or anything else.
Stoicism and Emotion: An Interview with Professor Margaret Graver (dailystoic.com)
Nutshell: Stoicism: a practical philosophy for life and work
A Universal Philosophy: Great Insights From Female Stoics (dailystoic.com)
Stoicism (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
Stoicism teaches us how to keep a calm and rational mind no matter what. This ancient philosophy lends insight into understanding and focusing on what you can control while letting go and accepting what you can't.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts do an archaeological dig into an ancient philosophy - Stoicism - to find the golden nuggets to create more ease, meaning and joy at work. The idea for this episode comes from Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic podcast - 2-3 minute Stoic inspired daily meditations to help you live your best life. Ryan is a New Your Times best selling author and his style and content are really relatable. Okay - so now you know it, Kirsten got a little obsessed - and highly recommends the podcast.
Stoicism was created by a dude named Zeno in Athens in the third century BC. Stoicism is a school of philosophy for people who want to get stuff done in the world - then and now. As a side note, it was the philosophical inspiration for cognitive behavioral therapy - cool. It has been a relatively male-dominated school of thought. Crina and Kirsten make it the working woman’s philosophy.
In addition to Zeno, three people took Zenp’s work and ran with it. Marcus Aurelius, reputed to be the last good emperor of the Roman Empire and the most powerful man on earth, journalled his thoughts each day. This journal has been published as the book Meditations. Epictetus was born a slave and went on to found his own school and taught many of Rome’s greatest minds, one of which was Marcus Aurelius. Epictetus’ teachings were memorialized by another of his students, Arrian on Discourses and Enchiridion. Senec was a tutor and adviser to Nero and Rome’s best playwright and super hero power broker – sometimes said to be what we think of as the modern modern day entrepreneur. His personal letters are another source of Stoic philosophy.
Stoicism teaches how to keep a calm and rational mind no matter what happens to you and it helps you understand and focus on what you can control and not worry about and accept what you can't control. The goal of Stoicism is eudaimonia or supreme happiness or fulfilment attainable by human beings - core purpose or the good life – a flourishing, lofty, and smoothly flowing life. The idea is that we can control our own behavior, but not the outcome of our behavior or others’ behaviors; and a calm and rational mind allows us to accept those outcomes.
There are five main elements according to our ametuer Stoics, Kirsten and Crina:
Crina and Kirsten turn to modern female Stoics to explore the importance of emotion in Stoicism, and some core principles applied to women and work, such as The Way is Through, Don’t Make Things Harder than they Need to Be, Impossible Without Your Consent, Keep it Simple, Protect Your Peace of Mind and A Career is Not a Life Sentence.
This episode is a great introduction to Stoicism and how it can bring more ease, meaning and joy to work and life. And of course - the obvious - that men do not have the corner on Stoicism - or anything else.
Stoicism and Emotion: An Interview with Professor Margaret Graver (dailystoic.com)
Nutshell: Stoicism: a practical philosophy for life and work
A Universal Philosophy: Great Insights From Female Stoics (dailystoic.com)
Stoicism (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
Feedback is AWESOME, unless it’s not. The crazy thing is that the vast majority of evaluations/assessments/performance reviews are lame and unproductive, yet we are subjected to them time and time again. The good news is that employee reviews don’t need to suck!
SHOW NOTES
On this second in a series of episodes exploring what does not need to suck at work, Crina and Kirsten delve into workplace performance evaluations.
And yes, even in the midst of a year into the pandemic, evaluations of how we do at work continue. Evaluations, reviews, appraisals . . . so many names for what can be stress inducing and a waste of time. To understand how we got here with evaluations, let’s look at the history.
Evaluations can be traced back to WWI when the military wanted to identify poor performers. By the 1960s, 90% of companies were using appraisals and ranking systems. During this same time there was a shortage of managerial talent and companies started shifting away from evaluations that reflected performance by scores to using evaluations as a professional development tool. This new approach was based on a theory that employees wanted to perform well and would do so if supported properly, opposed to the previous theory which assumed you had to motivate people with material rewards and punishments. And this is the part where evaluations do not have to suck - evaluations should motivate and inspire employees to do better. Companies have moved back to ranking and scoring rather than motivating and inspiring and we see evaluation programs trying to do it all and not doing a lot of it well. The Future of Performance Reviews (hbr.org)
All of this is to say that we are all still trying to figure out how to
Here’s some of what we know about performance reviews and employee engagement:
The Harvard Business Review summarizes workers experience, “[w]ith their heavy emphasis on financial rewards and punishments and their end-of-year structure, [annual reviews] hold people accountable for past behavior at the expense of improving current performance and grooming talent for the future, both of which are critical for organizations’ long-term survival. In contrast, regular conversations about performance and development change the focus to building the workforce your organization needs to be competitive both today and years from now. Business researcher Josh Bersin estimates that about 70% of multinational companies are moving toward this model, even if they haven’t arrived quite yet.” The Future of Performance Reviews (hbr.org)
SO WHAT CAN WE DO INSTEAD?
Regular check ins provide frequent and timely feedback and support. And the data supports that frequency is important. Studies show weekly check-ins increase performance by 13% where monthly check-ins decrease it by 5%. 9 Lies About Work, Buckingham and Goodall.
Companies who implement regular employee feedback have turnover rates that are 14.9% lower than for employees who receive no feedback. Employee Performance Program & Coaching | CoreAxis Corporate Training & eLearning.
Frequency is important because it allows real time considerations to occur, ongoing problem solving and direct application of learning. It allows employees and managers to make sense of real-time information together, focus on the next week, the problem to solve; build relationships and trust; and evaluates performance. It allows for listening, course-correcting, adjusting, coaching, pinpointing, advising, paying attention and providing real-time feedback.
This is in contrast to annual check ins where information is discussed when it is likely to be obsolete or irrelevant.
Whatever the feedback, the purpose should be to motivate employees to do better work, position them for success and further engage them. Gallup research tells us that managers have a tough time with this and only about 15% of managers strongly agree that they are effective at giving feedback. And this is in contrast to employees who tell us that meaningful feedback would inspire them to work harder. Employee Performance Program & Coaching | CoreAxis Corporate Training & eLearning
The annual review process is better suited for a development opportunity. Annual reviews should do a couple of big things: set goals, align those individual goals with those of the company, include clear measurement towards the goals, including measuring progress.
The content of evaluations should not be a surprise, but rather a chance to sit down and review what you’ve been discussing all year.
HOW TO JUMP START THIS PROCESS FOR YOURSELF, AS THE EMPLOYEE ON THE RECEIVING END?
The first thing we can do is to ask for regular feedback. Start small - or not - always interesting to go big! When we ask for feedback, we need to be open to feedback and open to the process and we need to pay close attention.
Another helpful strategy is to ask about the review process your manager uses. What is it meant to accomplish, what does she want to measure? Understanding the process can be helpful in determining what is important about your performance and allows you to better use the information you get.
There are things managers and employees can do to make the evaluation and review process better. We can take it further from its military WWII roots and rather than use it as a way to punish, use it as a way to inspire and motivate to bring more ease, meaning and joy to the workplace.
And another great read:
17 Mind-blowing Statistics on Performance Reviews and Employee Engagement
Feedback is AWESOME, unless it’s not. The crazy thing is that the vast majority of evaluations/assessments/performance reviews are lame and unproductive, yet we are subjected to them time and time again. The good news is that employee reviews don’t need to suck!
SHOW NOTES
On this second in a series of episodes exploring what does not need to suck at work, Crina and Kirsten delve into workplace performance evaluations.
And yes, even in the midst of a year into the pandemic, evaluations of how we do at work continue. Evaluations, reviews, appraisals . . . so many names for what can be stress inducing and a waste of time. To understand how we got here with evaluations, let’s look at the history.
Evaluations can be traced back to WWI when the military wanted to identify poor performers. By the 1960s, 90% of companies were using appraisals and ranking systems. During this same time there was a shortage of managerial talent and companies started shifting away from evaluations that reflected performance by scores to using evaluations as a professional development tool. This new approach was based on a theory that employees wanted to perform well and would do so if supported properly, opposed to the previous theory which assumed you had to motivate people with material rewards and punishments. And this is the part where evaluations do not have to suck - evaluations should motivate and inspire employees to do better. Companies have moved back to ranking and scoring rather than motivating and inspiring and we see evaluation programs trying to do it all and not doing a lot of it well. The Future of Performance Reviews (hbr.org)
All of this is to say that we are all still trying to figure out how to
Here’s some of what we know about performance reviews and employee engagement:
The Harvard Business Review summarizes workers experience, “[w]ith their heavy emphasis on financial rewards and punishments and their end-of-year structure, [annual reviews] hold people accountable for past behavior at the expense of improving current performance and grooming talent for the future, both of which are critical for organizations’ long-term survival. In contrast, regular conversations about performance and development change the focus to building the workforce your organization needs to be competitive both today and years from now. Business researcher Josh Bersin estimates that about 70% of multinational companies are moving toward this model, even if they haven’t arrived quite yet.” The Future of Performance Reviews (hbr.org)
SO WHAT CAN WE DO INSTEAD?
Regular check ins provide frequent and timely feedback and support. And the data supports that frequency is important. Studies show weekly check-ins increase performance by 13% where monthly check-ins decrease it by 5%. 9 Lies About Work, Buckingham and Goodall.
Companies who implement regular employee feedback have turnover rates that are 14.9% lower than for employees who receive no feedback. Employee Performance Program & Coaching | CoreAxis Corporate Training & eLearning.
Frequency is important because it allows real time considerations to occur, ongoing problem solving and direct application of learning. It allows employees and managers to make sense of real-time information together, focus on the next week, the problem to solve; build relationships and trust; and evaluates performance. It allows for listening, course-correcting, adjusting, coaching, pinpointing, advising, paying attention and providing real-time feedback.
This is in contrast to annual check ins where information is discussed when it is likely to be obsolete or irrelevant.
Whatever the feedback, the purpose should be to motivate employees to do better work, position them for success and further engage them. Gallup research tells us that managers have a tough time with this and only about 15% of managers strongly agree that they are effective at giving feedback. And this is in contrast to employees who tell us that meaningful feedback would inspire them to work harder. Employee Performance Program & Coaching | CoreAxis Corporate Training & eLearning
The annual review process is better suited for a development opportunity. Annual reviews should do a couple of big things: set goals, align those individual goals with those of the company, include clear measurement towards the goals, including measuring progress.
The content of evaluations should not be a surprise, but rather a chance to sit down and review what you’ve been discussing all year.
HOW TO JUMP START THIS PROCESS FOR YOURSELF, AS THE EMPLOYEE ON THE RECEIVING END?
The first thing we can do is to ask for regular feedback. Start small - or not - always interesting to go big! When we ask for feedback, we need to be open to feedback and open to the process and we need to pay close attention.
Another helpful strategy is to ask about the review process your manager uses. What is it meant to accomplish, what does she want to measure? Understanding the process can be helpful in determining what is important about your performance and allows you to better use the information you get.
There are things managers and employees can do to make the evaluation and review process better. We can take it further from its military WWII roots and rather than use it as a way to punish, use it as a way to inspire and motivate to bring more ease, meaning and joy to the workplace.
And another great read:
17 Mind-blowing Statistics on Performance Reviews and Employee Engagement
You need to laugh at work...or at least chuckle! According to the research, humor can dissolve tension, reduce stress and make you more productive and committed to your workplace.
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts focus on humor in the workplace. Who does not love to laugh?!! Whether at home or at work or frankly anywhere!! The “humor” our duo discusses is not just the belly laugh, but also the amusing, the cheerful, the light and the genial ways we can interact with each other at work. Humor is for more than the comedians among us!
This episode was inspired by Kirsten’s cousin, Dr. Rufus Browning - Professor of Humor at University of Maryland. Cousin Rufus was one of the founders of International Humor Conference -fancy!. He explained to Kirsten that humor is the juxtaposition of the absurd (putting things next to each other that do not make sense), which causes our brains to freak out a little bit and we laugh because it releases good chemicals and allows us to better manage the absurdity.
When we laugh, our brains produce less cortisol (inducing calm and reducing stress) and release more endorphins (which give us something like a runner’s high) and oxytocin (often called the “love” hormone). It’s like meditating, exercising, and having sex at the same time.
Sophie Scott, a professor from the University College London, is a humor expert and researcher. She says that laughter is one of the first things you learn as a baby. It is a tool for socialization. She talks about all kinds of laughter, polite laughter, agreeable laughter and the humorous or comedic laughter. She says, “laughter is not just about ‘funny.’ it’s about being human.” We signal our trust in each other when we laugh. Laughter: The Best Medicine | Hidden Brain
Even rats laugh and it contributes to their socialization as well. When researchers cut the vocal cords of rats (sad!), the rats could no longer laugh. When introduced with other rats who still had their vocal cords and could laugh, the laughless rats were more likely to get bitten. It appears when rats laughed during play, they were signaling something to each other that reduced aggression, and those rats who could not laugh were not able to send those signals and got bitten more.
WHAT ARE THE REWARDS OF HUMOR?
“Research shows that leaders with any sense of humor are seen as 27% more motivating and admired than those who don’t joke around. Their employees are 15% more engaged, and their teams are more than twice as likely to solve a creativity challenge — all of which can translate into improved performance. Studies even show that something as simple as adding a lighthearted line at the end of a sales pitch — like “My final offer is X and I’ll throw in my pet frog” — can increase customers’ willingness to pay by 18%. A bad dad joke can literally help you get paid.” How to Be Funny at Work.
Humor can make employees more productive and engaged. It can improve decision-making and creativity, it can make new information, problems easier to solve and ideas easier to absorb. Humor also improves your communication in that people are more likely to listen to you and remember what you said. And of course it increases our connection to others. And it clearly is the magic elixir because it also improves your health. 16 thoughts on “30 Benefits of Humor at Work”
HOW TO BE HUMOROUS AT WORK
And, of course, our hosts are down with some practical tips to get more of that goodness at work.
Warning - maintain PC and PG at work - it is tempting to engage in a little racy frivolity, but save that for non-work spaces.
Reminder - this is more about levity and lightness than it is comedy. Allow for the lightness
Ideas:
If this is not something you are already comfortable with, dip your toe in - it feels great and if you are comfortable with humor and lightness - bring it on at work because it will give everyone more ease meaning and joy.
And another great read:
Why Humor in the Workplace is a Key to Success
You need to laugh at work...or at least chuckle! According to the research, humor can dissolve tension, reduce stress and make you more productive and committed to your workplace.
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts focus on humor in the workplace. Who does not love to laugh?!! Whether at home or at work or frankly anywhere!! The “humor” our duo discusses is not just the belly laugh, but also the amusing, the cheerful, the light and the genial ways we can interact with each other at work. Humor is for more than the comedians among us!
This episode was inspired by Kirsten’s cousin, Dr. Rufus Browning - Professor of Humor at University of Maryland. Cousin Rufus was one of the founders of International Humor Conference -fancy!. He explained to Kirsten that humor is the juxtaposition of the absurd (putting things next to each other that do not make sense), which causes our brains to freak out a little bit and we laugh because it releases good chemicals and allows us to better manage the absurdity.
When we laugh, our brains produce less cortisol (inducing calm and reducing stress) and release more endorphins (which give us something like a runner’s high) and oxytocin (often called the “love” hormone). It’s like meditating, exercising, and having sex at the same time.
Sophie Scott, a professor from the University College London, is a humor expert and researcher. She says that laughter is one of the first things you learn as a baby. It is a tool for socialization. She talks about all kinds of laughter, polite laughter, agreeable laughter and the humorous or comedic laughter. She says, “laughter is not just about ‘funny.’ it’s about being human.” We signal our trust in each other when we laugh. Laughter: The Best Medicine | Hidden Brain
Even rats laugh and it contributes to their socialization as well. When researchers cut the vocal cords of rats (sad!), the rats could no longer laugh. When introduced with other rats who still had their vocal cords and could laugh, the laughless rats were more likely to get bitten. It appears when rats laughed during play, they were signaling something to each other that reduced aggression, and those rats who could not laugh were not able to send those signals and got bitten more.
WHAT ARE THE REWARDS OF HUMOR?
“Research shows that leaders with any sense of humor are seen as 27% more motivating and admired than those who don’t joke around. Their employees are 15% more engaged, and their teams are more than twice as likely to solve a creativity challenge — all of which can translate into improved performance. Studies even show that something as simple as adding a lighthearted line at the end of a sales pitch — like “My final offer is X and I’ll throw in my pet frog” — can increase customers’ willingness to pay by 18%. A bad dad joke can literally help you get paid.” How to Be Funny at Work.
Humor can make employees more productive and engaged. It can improve decision-making and creativity, it can make new information, problems easier to solve and ideas easier to absorb. Humor also improves your communication in that people are more likely to listen to you and remember what you said. And of course it increases our connection to others. And it clearly is the magic elixir because it also improves your health. 16 thoughts on “30 Benefits of Humor at Work”
HOW TO BE HUMOROUS AT WORK
And, of course, our hosts are down with some practical tips to get more of that goodness at work.
Warning - maintain PC and PG at work - it is tempting to engage in a little racy frivolity, but save that for non-work spaces.
Reminder - this is more about levity and lightness than it is comedy. Allow for the lightness
Ideas:
If this is not something you are already comfortable with, dip your toe in - it feels great and if you are comfortable with humor and lightness - bring it on at work because it will give everyone more ease meaning and joy.
And another great read:
Why Humor in the Workplace is a Key to Success
Saying, “sorry” is great, except when it’s not. An apology says you value the relationship, you have learned something and the offense will not happen again (or at least making efforts to do so). So why do sooooo many apologies end up feeling all wrong?
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts delve into apologizing. You may love an apology or you may hate an apology, but unless you are perfect (and if you think you are, you can stop reading right now - :-)), an apology is an important part of any relationship, including workplace relationships.
Crina hates hearing the words, “I am sorry.” She hates over apologizing, shitty apologies, particularly those apologies used like a get out of jail free card. Kirsten loves the opportunity an apology offers and how a real apology opens the door to further conversation.
Apologies at work build trust, build team and show humility. An apology says you value the relationship, you have learned something and the offense will not happen again (or at least making efforts to do so)
Gender Difference in Apologizing
Like many things, there are differences when it comes to apologies between men and women, Women Really Do Apologize More Than Men. Here's Why (and It Has Nothing to Do With Men Refusing to Admit Wrongdoing) | Inc.com.
A series of studies found that women apologize more than men because they report committing more offenses than men. The studies suggest that men apologize less frequently than women because they have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior. “It takes a more serious offense for men to think of an apology as deserved,” Dr. Karina Schumann, one of the study’s researchers, said in an email. In another study, Dr. Schumann and her colleagues gave men and women various hypothetical offenses to commit. Men rated the offenses as less severe and less deserving of an apology than women. “These findings supported our suspicion that men apologize less often because they are less likely to think they’ve offended anyone,” Dr. Schumann said. Why women apologize more than men: gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. In other words, women are more willing to see an offense and apologize more often.
The question of women’s apologies is a hot topic. Some people feel that women should stop apologizing, while others think we should stop pathologizing apologies. Deborah Tannen, communications author, says, maybe we should stop stigmatizing apologies.
No, You Don’t Have to Stop Apologizing (Published 2019)
Telling women to apologize less isn’t about empowerment. It’s about shame. - The Washington Post Crina and Kirsten are in the camp that you should apologize if you want to - it is up to you - and no pathologized, demonizing or stigmatizing - and apology to add to your power rather than take away from it.
The Gift of Apologies
Apologies offer a gift to the person making the apology, a gift to the person to whom the apology is made and a gift to the relationship. Apologies can create better relationships in the workplace.
Elements of an Apology
What Makes a Good Apology According to Harriet Lerner
What an Apology Does for Us
Harriet Lerner and Brené - I'm Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters
Why we've been saying 'sorry' all wrong - BBC Worklife
Saying, “sorry” is great, except when it’s not. An apology says you value the relationship, you have learned something and the offense will not happen again (or at least making efforts to do so). So why do sooooo many apologies end up feeling all wrong?
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts delve into apologizing. You may love an apology or you may hate an apology, but unless you are perfect (and if you think you are, you can stop reading right now - :-)), an apology is an important part of any relationship, including workplace relationships.
Crina hates hearing the words, “I am sorry.” She hates over apologizing, shitty apologies, particularly those apologies used like a get out of jail free card. Kirsten loves the opportunity an apology offers and how a real apology opens the door to further conversation.
Apologies at work build trust, build team and show humility. An apology says you value the relationship, you have learned something and the offense will not happen again (or at least making efforts to do so)
Gender Difference in Apologizing
Like many things, there are differences when it comes to apologies between men and women, Women Really Do Apologize More Than Men. Here's Why (and It Has Nothing to Do With Men Refusing to Admit Wrongdoing) | Inc.com.
A series of studies found that women apologize more than men because they report committing more offenses than men. The studies suggest that men apologize less frequently than women because they have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior. “It takes a more serious offense for men to think of an apology as deserved,” Dr. Karina Schumann, one of the study’s researchers, said in an email. In another study, Dr. Schumann and her colleagues gave men and women various hypothetical offenses to commit. Men rated the offenses as less severe and less deserving of an apology than women. “These findings supported our suspicion that men apologize less often because they are less likely to think they’ve offended anyone,” Dr. Schumann said. Why women apologize more than men: gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. In other words, women are more willing to see an offense and apologize more often.
The question of women’s apologies is a hot topic. Some people feel that women should stop apologizing, while others think we should stop pathologizing apologies. Deborah Tannen, communications author, says, maybe we should stop stigmatizing apologies.
No, You Don’t Have to Stop Apologizing (Published 2019)
Telling women to apologize less isn’t about empowerment. It’s about shame. - The Washington Post Crina and Kirsten are in the camp that you should apologize if you want to - it is up to you - and no pathologized, demonizing or stigmatizing - and apology to add to your power rather than take away from it.
The Gift of Apologies
Apologies offer a gift to the person making the apology, a gift to the person to whom the apology is made and a gift to the relationship. Apologies can create better relationships in the workplace.
Elements of an Apology
What Makes a Good Apology According to Harriet Lerner
What an Apology Does for Us
Harriet Lerner and Brené - I'm Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters
Why we've been saying 'sorry' all wrong - BBC Worklife
Yes, you spend a ton of time in meetings and yes, most of them are miserable! You are not alone! In fact a recent poll revealed that people just like you rank over 50% of their meetings as poor.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our dynamic duo brings their laser focus to meetings - with the hope that we can defy the data that 50% of meetings are not satisfying - and great more joy, meaning and ease.
Check out the data . . .
Dr Joseph Allen, professor of industrial and organizational psychology at University of Utah, has been studying meetings for 15 years. He found that pre- Pandemic a manager spent 75% of her time in meeting activities (prep, meetings and follow-up). This is 30 hours!!. During lock down that time increased by 48.5 minutes average per work day. A manager now spends 85-90% of her time in meetings! And remember during all of these meetings, we are “performing” of “surface acting.” You know the smiling, engaged, professional, energetic self. And this is draining.
And here is the bad news, over 50% of participants rate the meetings as poor. Why:
No agenda
No clear purpose
Attendees do not stay on the topic
Attendees are not equally participating
Lack of information needed for the meeting
And like everything in the workplace, race and gender bias play a significant role in meetings. Women and people of color are given less time to talk, perceived as less capable and talked over more. According to Adam Grant: “Political scientists find that when groups of five make democratic decisions, if only one member is a woman, she speaks 40 percent less than each of the men. Even if the group has a majority of three women, they each speak 36 percent less than each of the two men. Only in groups with four women do they each finally take up as much airtime as the one man.” The Silent Sex: Gender, Deliberation, and Institutions eBook: Karpowitz, Christopher F., Mendelberg, Tali: Kindle Store. One study by the Yale psychologist Victoria Bresoll found that when male executives spoke more often, they were perceived to be more competent, but when female executives spoke more often, they were given lower competence ratings. Who Takes the Floor and Why: Gender, Power, and Volubility in Organizations - Victoria L. Brescoll, 2011
Personality type is important to understanding meeting dynamics. In The Four Personality Types in Your Meetings - HR Daily Advisor, Cameron Herold divides us into 4 personality types and being mindful of their needs and how they contribute:
Tips for meetings that do not make you want to put a needle in your eye:
Here are some ideas for better meetings - and if you are a participant, it is fair to ask questions when you have questions about the meeting.
- Think about how you will deal with the over-talkers AHEAD OF TIME
- During the meeting
- Run an inclusive meeting!
- And don’t forget after the meeting
And here are some more good reads:
How to Deal with Difficult People in Meetings
Simple Tips for Happier, More Productive Meetings
Perspective | Who won’t shut up in meetings? Men say it’s women. It’s not.
It’s Not Just You: In Online Meetings, Many Women Can’t Get a Word In
Yes, you spend a ton of time in meetings and yes, most of them are miserable! You are not alone! In fact a recent poll revealed that people just like you rank over 50% of their meetings as poor.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our dynamic duo brings their laser focus to meetings - with the hope that we can defy the data that 50% of meetings are not satisfying - and great more joy, meaning and ease.
Check out the data . . .
Dr Joseph Allen, professor of industrial and organizational psychology at University of Utah, has been studying meetings for 15 years. He found that pre- Pandemic a manager spent 75% of her time in meeting activities (prep, meetings and follow-up). This is 30 hours!!. During lock down that time increased by 48.5 minutes average per work day. A manager now spends 85-90% of her time in meetings! And remember during all of these meetings, we are “performing” of “surface acting.” You know the smiling, engaged, professional, energetic self. And this is draining.
And here is the bad news, over 50% of participants rate the meetings as poor. Why:
No agenda
No clear purpose
Attendees do not stay on the topic
Attendees are not equally participating
Lack of information needed for the meeting
And like everything in the workplace, race and gender bias play a significant role in meetings. Women and people of color are given less time to talk, perceived as less capable and talked over more. According to Adam Grant: “Political scientists find that when groups of five make democratic decisions, if only one member is a woman, she speaks 40 percent less than each of the men. Even if the group has a majority of three women, they each speak 36 percent less than each of the two men. Only in groups with four women do they each finally take up as much airtime as the one man.” The Silent Sex: Gender, Deliberation, and Institutions eBook: Karpowitz, Christopher F., Mendelberg, Tali: Kindle Store. One study by the Yale psychologist Victoria Bresoll found that when male executives spoke more often, they were perceived to be more competent, but when female executives spoke more often, they were given lower competence ratings. Who Takes the Floor and Why: Gender, Power, and Volubility in Organizations - Victoria L. Brescoll, 2011
Personality type is important to understanding meeting dynamics. In The Four Personality Types in Your Meetings - HR Daily Advisor, Cameron Herold divides us into 4 personality types and being mindful of their needs and how they contribute:
Tips for meetings that do not make you want to put a needle in your eye:
Here are some ideas for better meetings - and if you are a participant, it is fair to ask questions when you have questions about the meeting.
- Think about how you will deal with the over-talkers AHEAD OF TIME
- During the meeting
- Run an inclusive meeting!
- And don’t forget after the meeting
And here are some more good reads:
How to Deal with Difficult People in Meetings
Simple Tips for Happier, More Productive Meetings
Perspective | Who won’t shut up in meetings? Men say it’s women. It’s not.
It’s Not Just You: In Online Meetings, Many Women Can’t Get a Word In
Humans make thousands of decisions every single day...what to eat for breakfast; when to call mom; whether to wear pants during that zoom meeting. Some people are shockingly quick to make even the most complex decisions while others are virtually paralyzed by choice. Insane curiosity led Crina and Kirsten to learn about how decisions are made, how to make better decisions and how to help others get off the decision-making hamster wheel.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our gorgeous gals - even though ya’ can’t see ‘em - talk about the thing that makes or breaks our lives in big and small ways - DECISIONS. And because this topic is so important, Crina and Kirsten went to the best source for information - our listeners!!
A listener focus group provided great input and fodder for thought on decisions - how they make them, what they are comfortable with, what decisions are hard, what decisions are easy and how do they handle consequences - from choosing between three suitors to the motto better done than perfect - these listeners were a rich source of information.
Crina and Kirsten chose the topic because they each see some of their clients struggle mightily with making decisions.
The first part of the show is about the science of decision making. Science has only recently begun to discover how we make decisions. A lot of the research is aimed at understanding what parts of the brain are involved in making decisions so they can understand why some people make consistently bad ones...adicts, for example; people with poor impulse control.
First, unconscious bias, or those powerful hidden, unconscious processes at work when we make decisions have been the subject of two Nobel Prize winners, which means it is pretty important. If we do not bring these biases to the surface, we risk making decisions that we are not fully conscious of. See This is how our brains make decisions by Adam Piore
Second, another fancy scientist, Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize in 2002 in Economics for his widely referenced work in the area of human judgment determined there are two systems of decision making that compete with each other and sometimes overlap, acting as checks on each other.
System 1: nearly instantaneous impressions of people and situations;
For example, “that person looks suspicious.” This system of thinking also drives some racism.
System 2: rational analysis and ability to handle complexity
For example, “after doing a reference check and a background check, that person
seems safe.”
Some people wrongly assume that system 1 is bad and system 2 is good, but that’s not necessarily the case. They are just different - and we go back and forth and sometimes use both systems to make a decision.
Third - who would have known (well, we do, frankly) that emotions are critical for decisions and people who have lost the ability to process emotions turn out to be horrible decision makers - so do not let anyone tell you that emotions have no place in decisions - in fact science tells us it is the opposite. Decisions and Desire
Fourth, our hosts consider the impact of too many choices, too few choices and how abundance thinking affects decisions. Abundance mindset: why it’s important and 8 ways to create it - Recent news science and psychology news about happiness - happiness.com
And here is what we learned from listeners about real life decisions outside of the science lab.
The more you know about yourself the better your decisions will be:
There are some processes for making decisions that can help:
There are lots of opportunities to make decisions - and honing your ability to do so is a fundamental part of finding ease, meaning and job in your workplace and in your life.
Humans make thousands of decisions every single day...what to eat for breakfast; when to call mom; whether to wear pants during that zoom meeting. Some people are shockingly quick to make even the most complex decisions while others are virtually paralyzed by choice. Insane curiosity led Crina and Kirsten to learn about how decisions are made, how to make better decisions and how to help others get off the decision-making hamster wheel.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our gorgeous gals - even though ya’ can’t see ‘em - talk about the thing that makes or breaks our lives in big and small ways - DECISIONS. And because this topic is so important, Crina and Kirsten went to the best source for information - our listeners!!
A listener focus group provided great input and fodder for thought on decisions - how they make them, what they are comfortable with, what decisions are hard, what decisions are easy and how do they handle consequences - from choosing between three suitors to the motto better done than perfect - these listeners were a rich source of information.
Crina and Kirsten chose the topic because they each see some of their clients struggle mightily with making decisions.
The first part of the show is about the science of decision making. Science has only recently begun to discover how we make decisions. A lot of the research is aimed at understanding what parts of the brain are involved in making decisions so they can understand why some people make consistently bad ones...adicts, for example; people with poor impulse control.
First, unconscious bias, or those powerful hidden, unconscious processes at work when we make decisions have been the subject of two Nobel Prize winners, which means it is pretty important. If we do not bring these biases to the surface, we risk making decisions that we are not fully conscious of. See This is how our brains make decisions by Adam Piore
Second, another fancy scientist, Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize in 2002 in Economics for his widely referenced work in the area of human judgment determined there are two systems of decision making that compete with each other and sometimes overlap, acting as checks on each other.
System 1: nearly instantaneous impressions of people and situations;
For example, “that person looks suspicious.” This system of thinking also drives some racism.
System 2: rational analysis and ability to handle complexity
For example, “after doing a reference check and a background check, that person
seems safe.”
Some people wrongly assume that system 1 is bad and system 2 is good, but that’s not necessarily the case. They are just different - and we go back and forth and sometimes use both systems to make a decision.
Third - who would have known (well, we do, frankly) that emotions are critical for decisions and people who have lost the ability to process emotions turn out to be horrible decision makers - so do not let anyone tell you that emotions have no place in decisions - in fact science tells us it is the opposite. Decisions and Desire
Fourth, our hosts consider the impact of too many choices, too few choices and how abundance thinking affects decisions. Abundance mindset: why it’s important and 8 ways to create it - Recent news science and psychology news about happiness - happiness.com
And here is what we learned from listeners about real life decisions outside of the science lab.
The more you know about yourself the better your decisions will be:
There are some processes for making decisions that can help:
There are lots of opportunities to make decisions - and honing your ability to do so is a fundamental part of finding ease, meaning and job in your workplace and in your life.
Are you in control of time or does time control you? Your relationship to time can impact how you manage your day, how you organize your tasks and even how you feel about your life.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we get to learn a new word - chronemics. Who doesn’t want to learn a new and very cool word? And now that you have waited with bated breath to know what it is - it is the study of time. How do you think about time? Are you in control of time? Does time control you? What is your relationship with time? These are the big questions and considerations for this episode.
Up until a few thousand years or so ago - there was no clock time. The sun rose and the sun set and it was game over. Clock time allowed us to gain efficiency, organize work, maximize productivity, etc., but is that how all of us feel comfortable organizing our day? Clock time was also a convenient way of compensating people in a newly industrialized society.
Most people’s work days are dictated by clock time: punch in, punch out...track your hours, take your breaks, etc. Education also favors people who operate on clock time...standardized tests, school schedules, etc.
But here is the problem with clock time - even considering all of its productivity and efficiency - the “clock time” construct does not work for everyone. Many people are more comfortable on “event” time, which is essentially, when the thing you are doing comes to its natural end - which may not coincide with both hands of a clock being pointed in any particular direction.
How do you know if you are a clock timer or an event timer?
Do you eat at 12 or when you are hungry?. If you eat at noon, you are a clock timer and if you eat when you are hungry, you are an event timer.
Is your to do list also scheduled into your calendar or is your to do list driven by the “right” time to complete a task? If you are a “right” timer, you are an event timer.
Is a meeting done for you when those clock hands point in a particular direction or when you feel like you have accomplished what needs to be accomplished?
Clock time is pretty interchangeable - meaning we can move out meeting from 10 am to 2 pm, but if we are on event time, it may not work to move the exercise session because you have to do exercise first so you can shower next and then shop. Who wants to shop dirty and stinky from working out? (well, probably Kirsten, but don’t tell anyone). The point is there is a flow to event time - things happen in sequence. Clock time tends to be more like legos - interchangeable.
Why does this matter? Event time allows you to be in the moment and aware of your surroundings. Clock time allows you to be efficient and productive, but the locus of control is the clock. Most of us are comfortable with event time and clock time, although Crina is primarily a clock time and Kirsten prefers event time. And they can still be friends!!!
Anne-Laure Sellier, a fancy professor from France currently a Visiting Professor at NYU, conducted an interesting experiment where she put a clock in a room where people were doing yoga. She watched them and talked with them after the class. Then she covered up the clock for the next class and she watched them and talked to them. Here is what she discovered. Students were more engaged in the class where the clock was covered up. Students also took and felt more agency over their performance when there was no clock. Students with a clock in the room tended to attribute their performance to the instructor and gave up more easily.
Clock time is great for standardized tasks and efficiency, event time is good to fully experience your surroundings and for creativity. People on event time feel more control over their lives versus people on event time who believe the hands on the clock do not control their lives as much.
How does this translate into work? First, if you understand your relationship to time, you will probably understand why certain things work for you and others do not. Understanding how you best experience time will allow you to better shift between the two and better structure your work environment to accomplish what you need to accomplish. And after giving you insight into your own work habits and productivity and satisfaction, it will give you that same insight into your workers’ habits and productivity and satisfaction.
And, as always, more good information
Clock Time Event Time – Love Your Work, Episode 235
If scheduling causes you conflict, maybe you're on "event time"
What how you view time says about you | Anne-Laure Sellier | TEDxHECParis
Are you in control of time or does time control you? Your relationship to time can impact how you manage your day, how you organize your tasks and even how you feel about your life.
SHOW NOTES
Today on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we get to learn a new word - chronemics. Who doesn’t want to learn a new and very cool word? And now that you have waited with bated breath to know what it is - it is the study of time. How do you think about time? Are you in control of time? Does time control you? What is your relationship with time? These are the big questions and considerations for this episode.
Up until a few thousand years or so ago - there was no clock time. The sun rose and the sun set and it was game over. Clock time allowed us to gain efficiency, organize work, maximize productivity, etc., but is that how all of us feel comfortable organizing our day? Clock time was also a convenient way of compensating people in a newly industrialized society.
Most people’s work days are dictated by clock time: punch in, punch out...track your hours, take your breaks, etc. Education also favors people who operate on clock time...standardized tests, school schedules, etc.
But here is the problem with clock time - even considering all of its productivity and efficiency - the “clock time” construct does not work for everyone. Many people are more comfortable on “event” time, which is essentially, when the thing you are doing comes to its natural end - which may not coincide with both hands of a clock being pointed in any particular direction.
How do you know if you are a clock timer or an event timer?
Do you eat at 12 or when you are hungry?. If you eat at noon, you are a clock timer and if you eat when you are hungry, you are an event timer.
Is your to do list also scheduled into your calendar or is your to do list driven by the “right” time to complete a task? If you are a “right” timer, you are an event timer.
Is a meeting done for you when those clock hands point in a particular direction or when you feel like you have accomplished what needs to be accomplished?
Clock time is pretty interchangeable - meaning we can move out meeting from 10 am to 2 pm, but if we are on event time, it may not work to move the exercise session because you have to do exercise first so you can shower next and then shop. Who wants to shop dirty and stinky from working out? (well, probably Kirsten, but don’t tell anyone). The point is there is a flow to event time - things happen in sequence. Clock time tends to be more like legos - interchangeable.
Why does this matter? Event time allows you to be in the moment and aware of your surroundings. Clock time allows you to be efficient and productive, but the locus of control is the clock. Most of us are comfortable with event time and clock time, although Crina is primarily a clock time and Kirsten prefers event time. And they can still be friends!!!
Anne-Laure Sellier, a fancy professor from France currently a Visiting Professor at NYU, conducted an interesting experiment where she put a clock in a room where people were doing yoga. She watched them and talked with them after the class. Then she covered up the clock for the next class and she watched them and talked to them. Here is what she discovered. Students were more engaged in the class where the clock was covered up. Students also took and felt more agency over their performance when there was no clock. Students with a clock in the room tended to attribute their performance to the instructor and gave up more easily.
Clock time is great for standardized tasks and efficiency, event time is good to fully experience your surroundings and for creativity. People on event time feel more control over their lives versus people on event time who believe the hands on the clock do not control their lives as much.
How does this translate into work? First, if you understand your relationship to time, you will probably understand why certain things work for you and others do not. Understanding how you best experience time will allow you to better shift between the two and better structure your work environment to accomplish what you need to accomplish. And after giving you insight into your own work habits and productivity and satisfaction, it will give you that same insight into your workers’ habits and productivity and satisfaction.
And, as always, more good information
Clock Time Event Time – Love Your Work, Episode 235
If scheduling causes you conflict, maybe you're on "event time"
What how you view time says about you | Anne-Laure Sellier | TEDxHECParis
COVID 19 has exposed the very real fact that working women depend on outside support in order to do their jobs-support that has virtually disappeared during the pandemic. The loss of childcare, school and other services has forced so very many of us to leave the workforce or at the very least, stretch ourselves WAY too thin. Join us as we explore how to harness the power of women to make the systemic changes necessary to support all working women, during COVID and beyond.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get Work, our dynamic duo discuss what Covid has magnified about women and work. In short, Covid has taken its toll in so many ways - including women and their work.
In Part I of Women’s Work and Covid the focus was that “COVID-19 is hard on women because the U.S. economy is hard on women, and this virus excels at taking existing tensions and ratcheting them up.” Why has COVID-19 been especially harmful for working women?
This is because women hold more low-wage and face to face jobs and these types of jobs were especially hit with layoffs. Losses in child care and school hours as a result of the pandemic have and will likely lead to a significant decline in women’s total wages and an increase in women leaving the workforce.
And this whole “dealio” threatens the progress women have made in the last years.
COVID has created the perfect storm and exposed what already existed: we “let” women be successful, but only if they can simultaneously care for the children, the elderly, the husbands, the community, etc. If you can add a shift in your day from 8pm to 3 am to get your work done, plan the team potluck or whatever, you are golden. We all know this is unsustainable and based on the big fat lie that certain work such as caring for children, families and households is primarily the purview of women. The paradigm is false.
There are systemic issues that create and exacerbate the work women have been shouldering, all exacerbated by COVID. Those systemic issues include insufficient childcare, no care when children are ill, a lack of support for the elderly, lack of predictable schedules, and, oh yes, minimum wage jobs held by single women with children who could not hope to sustain their life and the life of their children on minimum wage. None of these issues are women’s issues, they are family issues and we need to start thinking about them as such.
The solution is to change things on a federal level. If we change things with individual employers, individual cities or states, we risk advancing some and leaving others behind. We need a solution for everyone. The Women’s National Law Center is an excellent place to explore solutions on the federal level. Listeners should consider taking action to support these federal solutions on issues such as:.
Childcare
Regulating Schedules
National Women's Law Center Take Action: Tell Congress to Support Fair Work Schedules (nwlc.org) - Seattle has this restriction on the ability to change schedules without notice
And don’t forget paid time off,and raising the minimum wage. And don’t forget, the best thing we can do is to support, raise up and sponsor other women - as individuals and collectively.
COVID 19 has exposed the very real fact that working women depend on outside support in order to do their jobs-support that has virtually disappeared during the pandemic. The loss of childcare, school and other services has forced so very many of us to leave the workforce or at the very least, stretch ourselves WAY too thin. Join us as we explore how to harness the power of women to make the systemic changes necessary to support all working women, during COVID and beyond.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get Work, our dynamic duo discuss what Covid has magnified about women and work. In short, Covid has taken its toll in so many ways - including women and their work.
In Part I of Women’s Work and Covid the focus was that “COVID-19 is hard on women because the U.S. economy is hard on women, and this virus excels at taking existing tensions and ratcheting them up.” Why has COVID-19 been especially harmful for working women?
This is because women hold more low-wage and face to face jobs and these types of jobs were especially hit with layoffs. Losses in child care and school hours as a result of the pandemic have and will likely lead to a significant decline in women’s total wages and an increase in women leaving the workforce.
And this whole “dealio” threatens the progress women have made in the last years.
COVID has created the perfect storm and exposed what already existed: we “let” women be successful, but only if they can simultaneously care for the children, the elderly, the husbands, the community, etc. If you can add a shift in your day from 8pm to 3 am to get your work done, plan the team potluck or whatever, you are golden. We all know this is unsustainable and based on the big fat lie that certain work such as caring for children, families and households is primarily the purview of women. The paradigm is false.
There are systemic issues that create and exacerbate the work women have been shouldering, all exacerbated by COVID. Those systemic issues include insufficient childcare, no care when children are ill, a lack of support for the elderly, lack of predictable schedules, and, oh yes, minimum wage jobs held by single women with children who could not hope to sustain their life and the life of their children on minimum wage. None of these issues are women’s issues, they are family issues and we need to start thinking about them as such.
The solution is to change things on a federal level. If we change things with individual employers, individual cities or states, we risk advancing some and leaving others behind. We need a solution for everyone. The Women’s National Law Center is an excellent place to explore solutions on the federal level. Listeners should consider taking action to support these federal solutions on issues such as:.
Childcare
Regulating Schedules
National Women's Law Center Take Action: Tell Congress to Support Fair Work Schedules (nwlc.org) - Seattle has this restriction on the ability to change schedules without notice
And don’t forget paid time off,and raising the minimum wage. And don’t forget, the best thing we can do is to support, raise up and sponsor other women - as individuals and collectively.
Women, work and COVID 19 adds up to a whole lot of frustration, lost wages and lost jobs. It has also exacerbated systemic issues that women have been dealing with for a very long time, most notably: The fact that women, many of whom work for minimum wage and/or in service jobs, depend on childcare, school and other social programs in order to do their jobs.
SHOW NOTES On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts embark on a two part series about women and Covid-19 - the effect of the pandemic on women at work. In part one, our data-driven duo delve into the data to figure out what is happening to women at work in the pandemic.
Crina revisits the basics of what we know about women at work. We make up over half of the US labor force, we make less money than men and we occupy fewer high-level and C-suite positions. We women typically have more care-taking obligations and household duties than men. The Department of Labor tells us that the top 10 jobs that women occupy are: teacher, nurse, home health aid, secretary, cashier, customer service rep, retail sales,waitress, supervisor of retail sales, managers, which require a knowledge of the management and operations of an organization, rather than a scientific, technical, or administrative specialty. 100 Years of Working Women. 25% of us have a child at home under 14. And according to the State of Women at Work survey by McKinsey and Lean In, women are doing more of all of this during the pandemic.
And the systems that support women in their work - childcare and schools - are closed, providing less services - and are basically inadequate - and this is against the backdrop that no state in our great Union offers what is considered affordable childcare, which is defined as 7% of your income. https://www.brookings.edu/essay/why-has-covid-19-been-especially-harmful-for-working-women/
As you would expect - all of this leaves women feeling stressed and anxious. Women are worrying about losing a job, the pandemic, cold-care, home-schooling, kids returning home, caregiving, racial inequity, economy - what is not stressful?
Many women have jobs that are service focused and are not conducive to remote work - which means they are dealing with masks, fear of illness for them and their families, customers and co-workers who may have their own perspective about Covid safety - in other words - hard work has become harder.
Women who are working remotely say that are more productive, but it comes at a cost - more meetings, more hours working, less distinction between work and homeRemote Work Statistics: Navigating the New Normal
The fact is that work is not working for many women. Weber Shandwick reports that 66% of their respondents in a September survey report planning to switch jobs, move to another town or cut their work to part-time. One in four are considering this due to COVID.
Four times as many women as men dropped out of the labor force in September 2020, roughly 865,000 women compared with 216,000 men. How the Coronavirus Crisis Threatens to Set Back Women’s Careers
Women leaving the labor force and reducing work hours to assume caretaking responsibilities amounts to $64.5 billion per year in lost wages and economic activity. How COVID-19 Sent Women's Workforce Progress Back
As stated by the Brooks Institute “Covid is hard on women because the U.S. economy is hard on women, and this virus excels at taking existing tensions and ratcheting them up.” Why has COVID-19 been especially harmful for working women?
We look at the systems that support women at work as social welfare systems, childcare, school, elder care, health care, but in fact they are economic development programs. Our government and society needs to develop the support structures necessary to support an important, integral and valuable aspect of our economy - women at work. Stay tuned for the next episode when our hosts discuss what next.
Women, work and COVID 19 adds up to a whole lot of frustration, lost wages and lost jobs. It has also exacerbated systemic issues that women have been dealing with for a very long time, most notably: The fact that women, many of whom work for minimum wage and/or in service jobs, depend on childcare, school and other social programs in order to do their jobs.
SHOW NOTES On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts embark on a two part series about women and Covid-19 - the effect of the pandemic on women at work. In part one, our data-driven duo delve into the data to figure out what is happening to women at work in the pandemic.
Crina revisits the basics of what we know about women at work. We make up over half of the US labor force, we make less money than men and we occupy fewer high-level and C-suite positions. We women typically have more care-taking obligations and household duties than men. The Department of Labor tells us that the top 10 jobs that women occupy are: teacher, nurse, home health aid, secretary, cashier, customer service rep, retail sales,waitress, supervisor of retail sales, managers, which require a knowledge of the management and operations of an organization, rather than a scientific, technical, or administrative specialty. 100 Years of Working Women. 25% of us have a child at home under 14. And according to the State of Women at Work survey by McKinsey and Lean In, women are doing more of all of this during the pandemic.
And the systems that support women in their work - childcare and schools - are closed, providing less services - and are basically inadequate - and this is against the backdrop that no state in our great Union offers what is considered affordable childcare, which is defined as 7% of your income. https://www.brookings.edu/essay/why-has-covid-19-been-especially-harmful-for-working-women/
As you would expect - all of this leaves women feeling stressed and anxious. Women are worrying about losing a job, the pandemic, cold-care, home-schooling, kids returning home, caregiving, racial inequity, economy - what is not stressful?
Many women have jobs that are service focused and are not conducive to remote work - which means they are dealing with masks, fear of illness for them and their families, customers and co-workers who may have their own perspective about Covid safety - in other words - hard work has become harder.
Women who are working remotely say that are more productive, but it comes at a cost - more meetings, more hours working, less distinction between work and homeRemote Work Statistics: Navigating the New Normal
The fact is that work is not working for many women. Weber Shandwick reports that 66% of their respondents in a September survey report planning to switch jobs, move to another town or cut their work to part-time. One in four are considering this due to COVID.
Four times as many women as men dropped out of the labor force in September 2020, roughly 865,000 women compared with 216,000 men. How the Coronavirus Crisis Threatens to Set Back Women’s Careers
Women leaving the labor force and reducing work hours to assume caretaking responsibilities amounts to $64.5 billion per year in lost wages and economic activity. How COVID-19 Sent Women's Workforce Progress Back
As stated by the Brooks Institute “Covid is hard on women because the U.S. economy is hard on women, and this virus excels at taking existing tensions and ratcheting them up.” Why has COVID-19 been especially harmful for working women?
We look at the systems that support women at work as social welfare systems, childcare, school, elder care, health care, but in fact they are economic development programs. Our government and society needs to develop the support structures necessary to support an important, integral and valuable aspect of our economy - women at work. Stay tuned for the next episode when our hosts discuss what next.
Each one of us will be someone different at the end of this year and we can influence what we become - healthier, more peaceful, kinder, richer or whatever - or not. As Abraham Lincoln said, “the best way to predict the future is to create it.”
SHOW NOTES
On this 50th episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts talk about intention in the workplace. And if you can wait for Kirsten to tell her story about floating in a sensory deprivation tank, you can hear all about intention and how it helps us in accomplishing goals, actualizing resolutions and just getting done what we want to get done in the way we want to get it done and how we want to feel while we are doing it.
As we start the New Year, many of us set goals, make resolutions, create vision boards, choose words to define our year and engage in all kinds of other actions and activities to help us create the year we want.
What is intention? It’s worth consideration. Intention is something we want and plan to do - the process we go through until we accomplish what we want to accomplish. And of course our hosts like to get all intellectual every once in a while (to offset the smack talk), intent originates from the Latin word “intentus” which means an extending, attentive to, and strained.
Now that we know what intention is - why do we care so much? Each of us will be someone else at the end of 2021 - and who we end up being depends largely on our intentions. With intention, we are more likely to achieve our goals, create more of what we want, be more present and mindful and have more fun.
How do we bring intention to our lives? Mindfulness and awareness are good starts, but it is something more than this and requires the energy of effort, extending, moving in the direction of the end result. Here are some suggestions - and intentions should be positive, otherwise we risk sabotaging ourselves:
And two fun reads:
Why setting intentions is the way to achieve your goals | by Coralie SAWRUK | Medium
3 Tips to Create an Intentional Workplace - Fierce (fierceinc.com)
Each one of us will be someone different at the end of this year and we can influence what we become - healthier, more peaceful, kinder, richer or whatever - or not. As Abraham Lincoln said, “the best way to predict the future is to create it.”
SHOW NOTES
On this 50th episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts talk about intention in the workplace. And if you can wait for Kirsten to tell her story about floating in a sensory deprivation tank, you can hear all about intention and how it helps us in accomplishing goals, actualizing resolutions and just getting done what we want to get done in the way we want to get it done and how we want to feel while we are doing it.
As we start the New Year, many of us set goals, make resolutions, create vision boards, choose words to define our year and engage in all kinds of other actions and activities to help us create the year we want.
What is intention? It’s worth consideration. Intention is something we want and plan to do - the process we go through until we accomplish what we want to accomplish. And of course our hosts like to get all intellectual every once in a while (to offset the smack talk), intent originates from the Latin word “intentus” which means an extending, attentive to, and strained.
Now that we know what intention is - why do we care so much? Each of us will be someone else at the end of 2021 - and who we end up being depends largely on our intentions. With intention, we are more likely to achieve our goals, create more of what we want, be more present and mindful and have more fun.
How do we bring intention to our lives? Mindfulness and awareness are good starts, but it is something more than this and requires the energy of effort, extending, moving in the direction of the end result. Here are some suggestions - and intentions should be positive, otherwise we risk sabotaging ourselves:
And two fun reads:
Why setting intentions is the way to achieve your goals | by Coralie SAWRUK | Medium
3 Tips to Create an Intentional Workplace - Fierce (fierceinc.com)
December is either a magical, mystical month or humans are so tired of the cold and dark that we have evented no less than 40 sacred or secular celebrations – all packed into the month of December – at least according to Wikipedia!
SHOW NOTES
Happy Holidays – well, at least Holidays with more ease, meaning and joy. On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle the holidays at work.
How do you feel about the holidays – are you a scrooge and don’t enjoy the holidays or just do not want to participate? Are you a Tiny Tim and do it out of guilt? Or are you a Cindy Lou Who from Whoville – just spilling over with holiday joy? As listeners know, we think whoever you are is just spectacular – so embrace it, come to terms with it and make the holidays into a time that works for you.
We can really step in the metaphorical “it” during the holidays – as evidenced by Crina’s tale of coming into the office early one morning to decorate her office (and those of others) with trappings of the Christmas spirit. Unfortunately, her ardor (and good intentions) did not have the desired effect as not all of her co-workers shared her enthusiasm and wanted to live in a Christmas wonderland for the next several weeks.
Holidays are complicated - some of us are depressed and some are excited and some struggle with big issues from childhood that affect our holidays. There are good reasons that some of the best episodes of The Office are about the holidays. People can be really messed up.
Our hosts tackle gifts, parties, activities and collective days off – at work – during the holidays,
Gifts present an interesting power dynamic. Some people feel that they should not give their bosses a gift and that gifts flow down. And if that is your belief – that is just fine. Alternatively, if you are a gift giver and you find joy in that, do it – up the ladder, down the ladder, and across the ladder (and that should be a thing – across the ladder). Kirsten shares her stories of co-workers who give really fun, uplifting gifts – and her admission that she knows people at her workplace do not participate in gift giving, but she does not know who they are – and that is just fine. You will hear that a lot in this episode – what works for you is JUST FINE! Whatever you do - do not spend a lot of money!!
Most employees dread parties and with good reason. Some of us feel uncomfortable interacting with our co-workers in an entirely different way, some people misbehave at parties and some people just do not like a party. Parties can be a great time for team - building and setting office culture - particularly inclusion of all employees. These kinds of parties tend to have fun activities – and keep us out of the punch bowl.
Many workplaces choose to engage in a giving activity – adopting a family or a child for Christmas, working at the foodbank, delivering meals – these are all wonderful ways for co-workers to connect over something bigger than themselves.
And then we have many folks’ favorite part – the collective days off where we can all stop and take a deep breath. We know these breaks are rejuvenating and necessary – and there is something really special when the whole workplace does it!
Whoever you are, whatever you enjoy – make the holidays your own. If you can make agreements with people about what the holidays look like in a way that works to give you more of what you want during the holidays – wonderful. If not, remember you can make agreements with the best person to make agreements with – yourself. Okay listeners – get out there and make some more ease, meaning and joy!
And a good read:
Preparing for the Holidays During COVID-19
https://vurbl.com/station/PUoY7t7WMK/
December is either a magical, mystical month or humans are so tired of the cold and dark that we have evented no less than 40 sacred or secular celebrations – all packed into the month of December – at least according to Wikipedia!
SHOW NOTES
Happy Holidays – well, at least Holidays with more ease, meaning and joy. On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts tackle the holidays at work.
How do you feel about the holidays – are you a scrooge and don’t enjoy the holidays or just do not want to participate? Are you a Tiny Tim and do it out of guilt? Or are you a Cindy Lou Who from Whoville – just spilling over with holiday joy? As listeners know, we think whoever you are is just spectacular – so embrace it, come to terms with it and make the holidays into a time that works for you.
We can really step in the metaphorical “it” during the holidays – as evidenced by Crina’s tale of coming into the office early one morning to decorate her office (and those of others) with trappings of the Christmas spirit. Unfortunately, her ardor (and good intentions) did not have the desired effect as not all of her co-workers shared her enthusiasm and wanted to live in a Christmas wonderland for the next several weeks.
Holidays are complicated - some of us are depressed and some are excited and some struggle with big issues from childhood that affect our holidays. There are good reasons that some of the best episodes of The Office are about the holidays. People can be really messed up.
Our hosts tackle gifts, parties, activities and collective days off – at work – during the holidays,
Gifts present an interesting power dynamic. Some people feel that they should not give their bosses a gift and that gifts flow down. And if that is your belief – that is just fine. Alternatively, if you are a gift giver and you find joy in that, do it – up the ladder, down the ladder, and across the ladder (and that should be a thing – across the ladder). Kirsten shares her stories of co-workers who give really fun, uplifting gifts – and her admission that she knows people at her workplace do not participate in gift giving, but she does not know who they are – and that is just fine. You will hear that a lot in this episode – what works for you is JUST FINE! Whatever you do - do not spend a lot of money!!
Most employees dread parties and with good reason. Some of us feel uncomfortable interacting with our co-workers in an entirely different way, some people misbehave at parties and some people just do not like a party. Parties can be a great time for team - building and setting office culture - particularly inclusion of all employees. These kinds of parties tend to have fun activities – and keep us out of the punch bowl.
Many workplaces choose to engage in a giving activity – adopting a family or a child for Christmas, working at the foodbank, delivering meals – these are all wonderful ways for co-workers to connect over something bigger than themselves.
And then we have many folks’ favorite part – the collective days off where we can all stop and take a deep breath. We know these breaks are rejuvenating and necessary – and there is something really special when the whole workplace does it!
Whoever you are, whatever you enjoy – make the holidays your own. If you can make agreements with people about what the holidays look like in a way that works to give you more of what you want during the holidays – wonderful. If not, remember you can make agreements with the best person to make agreements with – yourself. Okay listeners – get out there and make some more ease, meaning and joy!
And a good read:
Preparing for the Holidays During COVID-19
https://vurbl.com/station/PUoY7t7WMK/
There is power in anger. There is purpose in anger. Anger is that beautiful, much-maligned and useful emotion that women, in particular, are discouraged and punished for expressing.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts talk about anger – that much maligned and useful emotion that women, in particular, are discouraged from and punished for expressing. There is power in anger and there is purpose in anger – even at work. And it’s time women understood and used their anger in the workplace – for real! Crina recalls experiences of white-hot anger in her personal life, and little of that in her professional life. Kirsten admits that she was an early adopter of anger and has honed her expression of it over the years into something that she believes makes her more effective and authentic.
Anger at work comes with a strict warning for its use – nothing physical and no yelling!! And if you know you are out of control, we recommend against its use.
Now to the juicy topic of anger.
Soroya Chemaly is one of the most thoughtful people on the topic of women’s anger. She believes women are told that anger is an emotion better left unvoiced. “It is reserved as the moral property of boys and men” says Chemaly. Chemaly has some other good observations about anger. Women who are angry are called such things as spoiled, high maintenance, shrill/ugly. And when we add race and ethnicity to the mix, we get labels like spicy Latina, crazy white women, sad Asian, angry Black woman. Chemaly notes that instead of getting angry, women tend to cry or be sad or disappointed, use minimizing language and the like. Chemaly believes these distortions of anger actually negatively affect women’s physical and mental health. Women are twice as likely as men to have heart problems, anxiety, eating disorders and self-harming behaviors.
Women have a lot to be angry about. According to a New Yorker article, American women between the ages of eighteen and forty-four are nearly twice as likely as men to:
Report feeling exhausted every day;
Make less money than their male colleagues;
of the thirty highest-paying job categories, twenty-six are dominated by men, while women dominate twenty-three of the thirty lowest-paying categories;
female patients are treated for pain less often than male patients who present with the same symptoms;
one in four women lives with domestic violence;
one in five women has been sexually assaulted;
and two-thirds of women have experienced street harassment, roughly half of them before they turned seventeen.
The Perils and Possibilities of Anger
Against this backdrop – our hosts dive into anger at work. Of course, men are generally rewarded for their anger, while women are generally punished. The issue seems to be that we are comfortable with and assume a purpose in men’s anger, but because we do not feel comfortable with women’s anger, we often impute an intention that is negative – to match our discomfort with the anger. However, when women explain their anger, it is more likely to advance status in the workplace. (Can Angry Women Get Ahead?). Explaining and additional information tend to undermine the biases that people form – so explaining your anger substitutes for the negative assumptions people tend to make about women’s anger.
Anger can be very useful at work. People who are able to process their anger and make meaning from it are more creative, more optimistic, create more intimacy and be better problem solvers – and these are all great things for and that we want more of in the workplace. (Can Angry Women Get Ahead?)
Our hosts end the episode by examining what smart and thoughtful women have said about anger.
"I felt like a hand was at my throat when I first started writing. That if I was going to be a proper writer, I’d better be as polite as possible and as calm as possible and as un-angry as possible — and recently I’ve been thinking, you know, fuck that, basically." Zadie Smith
"One of the things I wanted was for her [a Netflix tv character she was writing] to be a hothead because it is so unacceptable in society to be an angry Asian woman. You’re supposed to be demure and agreeable. I always had so much impatience and ambition — these things that if you had them, you were supposed to have them secretly." Mindy Kaling
"Every woman has a well-stocked arsenal of anger potentially useful against those oppressions, personal and institutional, which brought that anger into being. Focused with precision it can become a powerful source of energy serving progress and change." Audre Lorde
"You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it." Maya Angelou
More Good Stuff on Anger
Can an Angry Woman Get Ahead?: Status Conferral, Gender, and Expression of Emotion in the Workplace
I Used to Insist I Didn’t Get Angry. Not Anymore. (Published 2018)
The Perils and Possibilities of Anger
Soraya Chemaly: The power of women's anger | TED Talk
Can an Angry Woman Get Ahead?: Status Conferral, Gender, and Expression of Emotion in the Workplace
The Perils and Possibilities of Anger
There is power in anger. There is purpose in anger. Anger is that beautiful, much-maligned and useful emotion that women, in particular, are discouraged and punished for expressing.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our hosts talk about anger – that much maligned and useful emotion that women, in particular, are discouraged from and punished for expressing. There is power in anger and there is purpose in anger – even at work. And it’s time women understood and used their anger in the workplace – for real! Crina recalls experiences of white-hot anger in her personal life, and little of that in her professional life. Kirsten admits that she was an early adopter of anger and has honed her expression of it over the years into something that she believes makes her more effective and authentic.
Anger at work comes with a strict warning for its use – nothing physical and no yelling!! And if you know you are out of control, we recommend against its use.
Now to the juicy topic of anger.
Soroya Chemaly is one of the most thoughtful people on the topic of women’s anger. She believes women are told that anger is an emotion better left unvoiced. “It is reserved as the moral property of boys and men” says Chemaly. Chemaly has some other good observations about anger. Women who are angry are called such things as spoiled, high maintenance, shrill/ugly. And when we add race and ethnicity to the mix, we get labels like spicy Latina, crazy white women, sad Asian, angry Black woman. Chemaly notes that instead of getting angry, women tend to cry or be sad or disappointed, use minimizing language and the like. Chemaly believes these distortions of anger actually negatively affect women’s physical and mental health. Women are twice as likely as men to have heart problems, anxiety, eating disorders and self-harming behaviors.
Women have a lot to be angry about. According to a New Yorker article, American women between the ages of eighteen and forty-four are nearly twice as likely as men to:
Report feeling exhausted every day;
Make less money than their male colleagues;
of the thirty highest-paying job categories, twenty-six are dominated by men, while women dominate twenty-three of the thirty lowest-paying categories;
female patients are treated for pain less often than male patients who present with the same symptoms;
one in four women lives with domestic violence;
one in five women has been sexually assaulted;
and two-thirds of women have experienced street harassment, roughly half of them before they turned seventeen.
The Perils and Possibilities of Anger
Against this backdrop – our hosts dive into anger at work. Of course, men are generally rewarded for their anger, while women are generally punished. The issue seems to be that we are comfortable with and assume a purpose in men’s anger, but because we do not feel comfortable with women’s anger, we often impute an intention that is negative – to match our discomfort with the anger. However, when women explain their anger, it is more likely to advance status in the workplace. (Can Angry Women Get Ahead?). Explaining and additional information tend to undermine the biases that people form – so explaining your anger substitutes for the negative assumptions people tend to make about women’s anger.
Anger can be very useful at work. People who are able to process their anger and make meaning from it are more creative, more optimistic, create more intimacy and be better problem solvers – and these are all great things for and that we want more of in the workplace. (Can Angry Women Get Ahead?)
Our hosts end the episode by examining what smart and thoughtful women have said about anger.
"I felt like a hand was at my throat when I first started writing. That if I was going to be a proper writer, I’d better be as polite as possible and as calm as possible and as un-angry as possible — and recently I’ve been thinking, you know, fuck that, basically." Zadie Smith
"One of the things I wanted was for her [a Netflix tv character she was writing] to be a hothead because it is so unacceptable in society to be an angry Asian woman. You’re supposed to be demure and agreeable. I always had so much impatience and ambition — these things that if you had them, you were supposed to have them secretly." Mindy Kaling
"Every woman has a well-stocked arsenal of anger potentially useful against those oppressions, personal and institutional, which brought that anger into being. Focused with precision it can become a powerful source of energy serving progress and change." Audre Lorde
"You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it." Maya Angelou
More Good Stuff on Anger
Can an Angry Woman Get Ahead?: Status Conferral, Gender, and Expression of Emotion in the Workplace
I Used to Insist I Didn’t Get Angry. Not Anymore. (Published 2018)
The Perils and Possibilities of Anger
Soraya Chemaly: The power of women's anger | TED Talk
Can an Angry Woman Get Ahead?: Status Conferral, Gender, and Expression of Emotion in the Workplace
The Perils and Possibilities of Anger
When you have healthy, positive human connections you are happier, healthier and more productive. Join us as we explore how to build relationships in a covid world and what can happen if you fail to find people to relate to.
How can you have more joy, meaning and ease in the workplace - positive relationships and connections!! Crina and Kirsten talk about the importance of positive relationships and connections in the workplace and how those affect our well-being in the workplace and our productivity and creativity of the workplace generally.
Crina shares her experience at TedWomen 2020 - where she had to gird herself for Zoom meetups with other attendees - something she actually dreaded. After some procrastination pacing around her office (aka her eldest’s recently vacated bedroom), she endered Zoomland and found herself engaged and connected with other women- and her experience at TED was better for it.
This episode is not so much about friends in the workplace (although that is good stuff - and see Crina and Kirsten Get to Work Episode 1), but about positive human connection, which is the wonderful energy exchange between two people paying attention to each other.
And of course, our gals gotta talk science - why do positive connections make us feel good? Why is our mental and physical health better - why are we even less likely to kick the bucket with positive connections? Close relationships are linked to better health and support our miraculous biological systems, and are even thought to protect against the ravages of STRESS.
When human connections are positive, then trust, cooperation and confidence build and our brains are activated in a way that encourages more of the same. Workplaces that have positive connections are more efficient, have better performance outcomes, less turnover and absenteeism - and fewer safety issues. When workers have strong ties, innovation increases because workers feel safe to share and collaborate and take risks.
Crina and Kirsten share examples in their own workplaces and with friends and colleagues. Kirsten shares a story about the co-worker who is abrupt and short with co-workers, and is not able to get support when facing a deadline because she did not create positive connections. And conversely, she shares her own experience of a co-worker kindness opened the door to her asking questions that greatly improved the quality of her work. Crina shared that many of her clients are struggling in COVID to find positive connections in the workplace given that we do not have the everyday opportunities to connect when we are working from home. And the lack of these positive connections has negatively impacted employees’ experience in work - and the work itself.
How do we create more positive connections: make it a point to be ready to create a positive connection - and make it a point to do that before you get to your business - even if the connection is short; show genuine interest and be curious about your coworkers; keep your word; try not to surprise people; and if you want to play it safe - food and sports are always good topics. Managers should take care to model the behavior you want to see in the employees you supervise; plan collaborative events; and timely and effectively mediate conflicts.And challenge of the week - create a positive connection with someone in the workplace that you do not usually interact with.
And find the details of the science and the data - and lots of other great information in https://positivepsychology.com/positive-relationships-workplace/.
When you have healthy, positive human connections you are happier, healthier and more productive. Join us as we explore how to build relationships in a covid world and what can happen if you fail to find people to relate to.
How can you have more joy, meaning and ease in the workplace - positive relationships and connections!! Crina and Kirsten talk about the importance of positive relationships and connections in the workplace and how those affect our well-being in the workplace and our productivity and creativity of the workplace generally.
Crina shares her experience at TedWomen 2020 - where she had to gird herself for Zoom meetups with other attendees - something she actually dreaded. After some procrastination pacing around her office (aka her eldest’s recently vacated bedroom), she endered Zoomland and found herself engaged and connected with other women- and her experience at TED was better for it.
This episode is not so much about friends in the workplace (although that is good stuff - and see Crina and Kirsten Get to Work Episode 1), but about positive human connection, which is the wonderful energy exchange between two people paying attention to each other.
And of course, our gals gotta talk science - why do positive connections make us feel good? Why is our mental and physical health better - why are we even less likely to kick the bucket with positive connections? Close relationships are linked to better health and support our miraculous biological systems, and are even thought to protect against the ravages of STRESS.
When human connections are positive, then trust, cooperation and confidence build and our brains are activated in a way that encourages more of the same. Workplaces that have positive connections are more efficient, have better performance outcomes, less turnover and absenteeism - and fewer safety issues. When workers have strong ties, innovation increases because workers feel safe to share and collaborate and take risks.
Crina and Kirsten share examples in their own workplaces and with friends and colleagues. Kirsten shares a story about the co-worker who is abrupt and short with co-workers, and is not able to get support when facing a deadline because she did not create positive connections. And conversely, she shares her own experience of a co-worker kindness opened the door to her asking questions that greatly improved the quality of her work. Crina shared that many of her clients are struggling in COVID to find positive connections in the workplace given that we do not have the everyday opportunities to connect when we are working from home. And the lack of these positive connections has negatively impacted employees’ experience in work - and the work itself.
How do we create more positive connections: make it a point to be ready to create a positive connection - and make it a point to do that before you get to your business - even if the connection is short; show genuine interest and be curious about your coworkers; keep your word; try not to surprise people; and if you want to play it safe - food and sports are always good topics. Managers should take care to model the behavior you want to see in the employees you supervise; plan collaborative events; and timely and effectively mediate conflicts.And challenge of the week - create a positive connection with someone in the workplace that you do not usually interact with.
And find the details of the science and the data - and lots of other great information in https://positivepsychology.com/positive-relationships-workplace/.
When we are able to manage conflict, we are also able to nurture our relationships, collectively solve problems, learn from each other and minimize our burdens. While conflict can lead to positive outcomes, it’s a rare individual who nails it every time.
SHOW NOTES
Differences, disagreements and conflicts-these definitely get in the way of joy, meaning and ease in the workplace. Our laser-focused (HA!) co-hosts, Crina and Kirsten share isights into this topic from our fabulous listener focus group and provide some tools and strategies to deal with differences, disagreements and conflicts at work.
Many thanks to our listener focus group. Crina and Kirsten appreciate so much the input of listeners into our show topics. It is one of the best parts of producing the podcast.
There are lots of differences in the workplace - generational, personality type (outgoing, quiet, shy etc), approach to solving a problem, risk tolerance, education, experience, religion and of course political beliefs.
Our focus group shares that they most worry about conflict resulting from aggressive communication style (such as a brusque or abrupt style), unclear expectations around policies, boundaries, what can and can’t be shared in terms of opinions, emotions and perspectives.
Conflict creates a battle between our reason and our emotion. And feelings (disappointment, loss, grief, betrayal etc.) often fuel our conflicts. When relationships in the workplace are characterized by cooperation, trust, and fairness, the reward center of the brain is activated which encourages future interactions that promote employee trust, respect, and confidence, with employees believing the best in each other and inspiring each other in their performance (Geue, 2017). The Importance of Positive Relationships in the Workplace
When we become angry, the amygdala, part of the limbic system in our brain, is flooded with hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline and testosterone and we become “high” on conflict. If we’re shown acknowledgment and feel that we’re heard, the front or neocortex part of the brain, which is responsible for higher thinking and reasoning, is flooded with serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. These are hormones that are released when we experience trust and respect.
Our listener focus group talked about times they felt they had handled conflict particular well or poorly. One listener said that when she does not handle conflict well, she shuts down and it robs her of her joy at work and makes her less effective.
Another listener said that she feels she handles conflicts poorly when she is not empathic with the other person and fails to fully consider their position. Another reported that one of her successes was her ability to flex her communication style with a co-worker to diffuse the conflict. Note - it is possible that instead of her co-worker’s brain flooding with adrenaline and cortisol, it flooded with serotonin and dopamine!
What are the strategies we use in conflict?
Understanding the science of conflict
All of these strategies can be good - and we should probably be using all of them depending on the situation.
In the context of all of these strategies - make an effort to find out the needs, concerns, be curious, and fears behind the other party’s position. Always be on the lookout for some of those bedrock needs that drive most people, such as security, economic well-being, a feeling of belonging, status, recognition, being regarded by others as being highly competent, and possessing power and control.
Our focus group had some great suggestions.
“Don’t catch the football” - let the ball drop
Be rich not right - what do you want more - to do a great job or be right
Focus on the facts
Focus on the here and now
HAND CLAP - what is right between your hands to address right now:
Lean back and breathe
Consider where you will get the most traction
Practice empathy,
Educate herself about the viewpoints of others
Understanding the root of the conflict and/or their ideas
Do not compromise yourself
Find the PAIN POINT - and gentle ways to work through that
Look for intentions
Ask questions
Challenge assumptions
Establish agreements and policies and procedures on the front end
At the end of it - we are humans and the root of conflict allows us to find our common humanity.
And another great article.
https://www.baltimoremagazine.com/special/how-to-manage-disagreements-with-others-in-the-workplace/
When we are able to manage conflict, we are also able to nurture our relationships, collectively solve problems, learn from each other and minimize our burdens. While conflict can lead to positive outcomes, it’s a rare individual who nails it every time.
SHOW NOTES
Differences, disagreements and conflicts-these definitely get in the way of joy, meaning and ease in the workplace. Our laser-focused (HA!) co-hosts, Crina and Kirsten share isights into this topic from our fabulous listener focus group and provide some tools and strategies to deal with differences, disagreements and conflicts at work.
Many thanks to our listener focus group. Crina and Kirsten appreciate so much the input of listeners into our show topics. It is one of the best parts of producing the podcast.
There are lots of differences in the workplace - generational, personality type (outgoing, quiet, shy etc), approach to solving a problem, risk tolerance, education, experience, religion and of course political beliefs.
Our focus group shares that they most worry about conflict resulting from aggressive communication style (such as a brusque or abrupt style), unclear expectations around policies, boundaries, what can and can’t be shared in terms of opinions, emotions and perspectives.
Conflict creates a battle between our reason and our emotion. And feelings (disappointment, loss, grief, betrayal etc.) often fuel our conflicts. When relationships in the workplace are characterized by cooperation, trust, and fairness, the reward center of the brain is activated which encourages future interactions that promote employee trust, respect, and confidence, with employees believing the best in each other and inspiring each other in their performance (Geue, 2017). The Importance of Positive Relationships in the Workplace
When we become angry, the amygdala, part of the limbic system in our brain, is flooded with hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline and testosterone and we become “high” on conflict. If we’re shown acknowledgment and feel that we’re heard, the front or neocortex part of the brain, which is responsible for higher thinking and reasoning, is flooded with serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. These are hormones that are released when we experience trust and respect.
Our listener focus group talked about times they felt they had handled conflict particular well or poorly. One listener said that when she does not handle conflict well, she shuts down and it robs her of her joy at work and makes her less effective.
Another listener said that she feels she handles conflicts poorly when she is not empathic with the other person and fails to fully consider their position. Another reported that one of her successes was her ability to flex her communication style with a co-worker to diffuse the conflict. Note - it is possible that instead of her co-worker’s brain flooding with adrenaline and cortisol, it flooded with serotonin and dopamine!
What are the strategies we use in conflict?
Understanding the science of conflict
All of these strategies can be good - and we should probably be using all of them depending on the situation.
In the context of all of these strategies - make an effort to find out the needs, concerns, be curious, and fears behind the other party’s position. Always be on the lookout for some of those bedrock needs that drive most people, such as security, economic well-being, a feeling of belonging, status, recognition, being regarded by others as being highly competent, and possessing power and control.
Our focus group had some great suggestions.
“Don’t catch the football” - let the ball drop
Be rich not right - what do you want more - to do a great job or be right
Focus on the facts
Focus on the here and now
HAND CLAP - what is right between your hands to address right now:
Lean back and breathe
Consider where you will get the most traction
Practice empathy,
Educate herself about the viewpoints of others
Understanding the root of the conflict and/or their ideas
Do not compromise yourself
Find the PAIN POINT - and gentle ways to work through that
Look for intentions
Ask questions
Challenge assumptions
Establish agreements and policies and procedures on the front end
At the end of it - we are humans and the root of conflict allows us to find our common humanity.
And another great article.
https://www.baltimoremagazine.com/special/how-to-manage-disagreements-with-others-in-the-workplace/
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts welcome the amazing and fabulous Cheryl Strayed to discuss mentorship, women, work, writing and so much more! Cheryl is a wonderful mentor to so many - through her writing, through her workshops, through her podcasts, through her public speaking - and if that is not enough - through her own personal relationships. Listeners, our twosome really delivered with this one.
Our hosts and Cheryl discuss the importance of mentorship, how you find a mentor and what to do when you cannot, what happens when mentorship goes bad and how mentorship enriches both the mentor and the mentee. And really - Cheryl would be interesting regardless of what she talked about, but her thoughts on mentorship are fun and interesting - and big-hearted.
Enjoy!
Photo of Crina and Kirsten by Lemon Wing Photography
Photo of Cheryl by Jennie Baker
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts welcome the amazing and fabulous Cheryl Strayed to discuss mentorship, women, work, writing and so much more! Cheryl is a wonderful mentor to so many - through her writing, through her workshops, through her podcasts, through her public speaking - and if that is not enough - through her own personal relationships. Listeners, our twosome really delivered with this one.
Our hosts and Cheryl discuss the importance of mentorship, how you find a mentor and what to do when you cannot, what happens when mentorship goes bad and how mentorship enriches both the mentor and the mentee. And really - Cheryl would be interesting regardless of what she talked about, but her thoughts on mentorship are fun and interesting - and big-hearted.
Enjoy!
Photo of Crina and Kirsten by Lemon Wing Photography
Photo of Cheryl by Jennie Baker
Your ‘A’ game, your best self, your peak performance is all about reaching that optimal state of consciousness when you feel like you’re kicking butt and taking names. It’s about getting in the zone, feeling the flow and delivering 100 percent.
SHOW NOTES
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is about bringing your A-game. From a good bra to preparation and performance, Crina and Kirsten have some ideas about how to show up as your best self.
Peak performance is about being in the flow, and is described as an optimal state of consciousness - a lack of self- absorption, where the self vanishes, time flies, and optimal performance is achieved. “It’s an efficiency exchange,” says American University in Beirut neuroscientist Arne Dietrich, who helped discover this phenomena. “We’re trading energy usually used for higher cognitive functions for heightened attention and awareness.” This is one of the main reasons flow feels flowy—because any brain structure that would hamper rapid-fire decision-making is literally shut off - and performance, well, just works.
When do we need to bring our A-game? An interview, public speaking, a presentation, saying no, asking for a raise, pitching a new client, interviewing Cheryl Strayed on your next episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work.
What does peak performance look like? It looks like Anne-Marie Faiola, founder of Brambleberry, Soap Queen, Author of Best Day Ever and all around amazing human. Anne Marie brings these key elements to show up as her best self:
Anne Marie says some people do not want to try hard because they are afraid of being nerdy - or of failing. But if you do not do your best, you do not know what you are capable of.
Peak performance also looks like being your mental, emotional and physical best - and here are some other ideas.
Mental
Emotional
Physical
And this trying thing is really important. Really try hard at something - bring your best self - and see what magic you can create.
And good reads . . .
The Making of a Corporate Athlete
The Science of Peak Human Performance
Your ‘A’ game, your best self, your peak performance is all about reaching that optimal state of consciousness when you feel like you’re kicking butt and taking names. It’s about getting in the zone, feeling the flow and delivering 100 percent.
SHOW NOTES
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is about bringing your A-game. From a good bra to preparation and performance, Crina and Kirsten have some ideas about how to show up as your best self.
Peak performance is about being in the flow, and is described as an optimal state of consciousness - a lack of self- absorption, where the self vanishes, time flies, and optimal performance is achieved. “It’s an efficiency exchange,” says American University in Beirut neuroscientist Arne Dietrich, who helped discover this phenomena. “We’re trading energy usually used for higher cognitive functions for heightened attention and awareness.” This is one of the main reasons flow feels flowy—because any brain structure that would hamper rapid-fire decision-making is literally shut off - and performance, well, just works.
When do we need to bring our A-game? An interview, public speaking, a presentation, saying no, asking for a raise, pitching a new client, interviewing Cheryl Strayed on your next episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work.
What does peak performance look like? It looks like Anne-Marie Faiola, founder of Brambleberry, Soap Queen, Author of Best Day Ever and all around amazing human. Anne Marie brings these key elements to show up as her best self:
Anne Marie says some people do not want to try hard because they are afraid of being nerdy - or of failing. But if you do not do your best, you do not know what you are capable of.
Peak performance also looks like being your mental, emotional and physical best - and here are some other ideas.
Mental
Emotional
Physical
And this trying thing is really important. Really try hard at something - bring your best self - and see what magic you can create.
And good reads . . .
The Making of a Corporate Athlete
The Science of Peak Human Performance
Trusting your gut is about trusting yourself. It is about trusting the most important person in your life - YOU!! Trusting your gut means you make better decisions, decisions that are true to you and you learn you are reliable and trustworthy!
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten are on a big high from a listener focus group on this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get toWork - trusting your gut. Seven listeners gathered for a virtual cocktail hour (or fabulously hydrating water) to discuss what they thought about trusting your gut - what exactly is it, their experience with trusting their gut and how it worked for them. It was AMAZING! These wonderful women shared what gut instinct felt like in their bodies, times they found it most useful and how it has affected their career and life path.
So exactly what is your instinct - is it supernatural ESP, a belly-ache or your amazing ability to process information and feelings, physical and emotional? Of course, it’s the later, but we kinda hope there is a little woo-woo somewhere in there as well.
Courtnet Helgoe writes in 5 Gut Instincts You Shouldn’t Ignore (Five gut instincts you shouldn't ignore) that (you guessed it) there are five main gut instances:
So why do we care about trusting your gut? Fundamentally, it is about trusting the most important person in your life - YOU!! Trusting your gut means you make better decisions, decisions that are true to you and you learn you are reliable and trustworthy! Who do you think knows you better?!
Cautionary note - trusting your gut about your own personal and professional decisions is great, but be careful about trusting your gut for personnel decisions, such as hiring, firing and promoting. Doing so can often promote bias. If we just pick people we are comfortable with - then is it likely we end up with people just like us rather than a diverse work culture of experiences, skills and talents. Be suspicious of your gut in these situations.
Here's why your gut instinct is wrong at work
It is important to cultivate trusting your gut. Kirsten started with low-level decisions, like what to eat at a restaurant. Crina had experiences where she did not trust her gut and regretted it. Learning to trust her gut was a defining moment in Crina’s career.
So what else can you do to hone your gut instinct:
Listeners - you are a rich trove of wisdom for yourself - know it, cultivate and use it! And here are some more good reads on the subject.
thriveglobal.com/stories/womens-intuition-in-business/
How to know when your intuition is talking to you
Trusting Your Gut Is The Best Business Tool You've Got -- If You Can Listen
5 Gut Instincts You Shouldn't Ignore
4 Techniques Guaranteed to Strengthen Your Intuition (Even If You Think You Have None)
Trusting your gut is about trusting yourself. It is about trusting the most important person in your life - YOU!! Trusting your gut means you make better decisions, decisions that are true to you and you learn you are reliable and trustworthy!
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten are on a big high from a listener focus group on this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get toWork - trusting your gut. Seven listeners gathered for a virtual cocktail hour (or fabulously hydrating water) to discuss what they thought about trusting your gut - what exactly is it, their experience with trusting their gut and how it worked for them. It was AMAZING! These wonderful women shared what gut instinct felt like in their bodies, times they found it most useful and how it has affected their career and life path.
So exactly what is your instinct - is it supernatural ESP, a belly-ache or your amazing ability to process information and feelings, physical and emotional? Of course, it’s the later, but we kinda hope there is a little woo-woo somewhere in there as well.
Courtnet Helgoe writes in 5 Gut Instincts You Shouldn’t Ignore (Five gut instincts you shouldn't ignore) that (you guessed it) there are five main gut instances:
So why do we care about trusting your gut? Fundamentally, it is about trusting the most important person in your life - YOU!! Trusting your gut means you make better decisions, decisions that are true to you and you learn you are reliable and trustworthy! Who do you think knows you better?!
Cautionary note - trusting your gut about your own personal and professional decisions is great, but be careful about trusting your gut for personnel decisions, such as hiring, firing and promoting. Doing so can often promote bias. If we just pick people we are comfortable with - then is it likely we end up with people just like us rather than a diverse work culture of experiences, skills and talents. Be suspicious of your gut in these situations.
Here's why your gut instinct is wrong at work
It is important to cultivate trusting your gut. Kirsten started with low-level decisions, like what to eat at a restaurant. Crina had experiences where she did not trust her gut and regretted it. Learning to trust her gut was a defining moment in Crina’s career.
So what else can you do to hone your gut instinct:
Listeners - you are a rich trove of wisdom for yourself - know it, cultivate and use it! And here are some more good reads on the subject.
thriveglobal.com/stories/womens-intuition-in-business/
How to know when your intuition is talking to you
Trusting Your Gut Is The Best Business Tool You've Got -- If You Can Listen
5 Gut Instincts You Shouldn't Ignore
4 Techniques Guaranteed to Strengthen Your Intuition (Even If You Think You Have None)
While most moms will agree that since becoming a mom, they have honed their skills as negotiators, facilitators, creative problem-solvers (and in Crina’s case; triage nurses) they are frequently paid less, promoted less and treated as “less” than their counterparts who don’t have kids. Let’s stop putting moms in boxes and start rewarding them for being awesome at work!
SHOW NOTES
Don’t be mean to moms - or really anyone! This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is about the bias faced in the workplace against mothers, and by biological extension, all women (who are often assumed to be able and want to have children).
Our hosts start off with the exploration of the word “mom.” In many respects “mom” is an honorific, a sacred and respected title. However, there are times when “mom” is derogatory and limiting - such as “mom” hair, or a “mom” car or “mom” clothes . In fact, Crina and Kirsten think moms have GREAT hair!!
The fundamental problem with mom bias is that it limits our experiences, defines our roles, names our place, confines us to expectations simply because we have children. It’s limiting and frustrating - a box too small.
One article notes:
“The pervasive American assumption that mothers should be committed to their children without reservation, that children’s emotional health and academic achievement depend on their mothers being available to them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Never mind the time a father, relative, friend, or trained caregiver spends with a child — it is a mother’s time that is critical and irreplaceable.” How to Recognize Bias Against Working Mothers
Given these societal expectations on moms, how do moms make it in the workplace? Crina took both her boys to work until they could walk - and was promoted several times while doing so. Kirsten also took her youngest to work as an infant, but worked very hard - and was successful - in keeping it a secret from her bosses. Here’s the truth: Being a mom is an asset to professional growth, driving productivity, management skills and more.
Researchers from the Center for Creative Leadership studied productivity of parents in the workplace, and found just what working mothers already know: “Raising a family helps develop skills such as negotiating, compromising, conflict resolution and multitasking.” How Working Mothers Can Overcome Bias. Unfortunately, the strengths are often not recognized and moms face compensation disparities, are less likely to be hired and promoted to jobs and are more likely to leave jobs.
There are lots of things our governments and communities can do - childcare, paid leave, support for caregivers, flex hours and the like, but there are also things that we, as moms, can do to push back against and mitigate this bias.
And here are some more good reads:
How Working Mothers Can Overcome Bias
Will Working Mothers Take Your Company to Court?
Working mothers face a ‘wall’ of bias—but there are ways to push back
While most moms will agree that since becoming a mom, they have honed their skills as negotiators, facilitators, creative problem-solvers (and in Crina’s case; triage nurses) they are frequently paid less, promoted less and treated as “less” than their counterparts who don’t have kids. Let’s stop putting moms in boxes and start rewarding them for being awesome at work!
SHOW NOTES
Don’t be mean to moms - or really anyone! This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is about the bias faced in the workplace against mothers, and by biological extension, all women (who are often assumed to be able and want to have children).
Our hosts start off with the exploration of the word “mom.” In many respects “mom” is an honorific, a sacred and respected title. However, there are times when “mom” is derogatory and limiting - such as “mom” hair, or a “mom” car or “mom” clothes . In fact, Crina and Kirsten think moms have GREAT hair!!
The fundamental problem with mom bias is that it limits our experiences, defines our roles, names our place, confines us to expectations simply because we have children. It’s limiting and frustrating - a box too small.
One article notes:
“The pervasive American assumption that mothers should be committed to their children without reservation, that children’s emotional health and academic achievement depend on their mothers being available to them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Never mind the time a father, relative, friend, or trained caregiver spends with a child — it is a mother’s time that is critical and irreplaceable.” How to Recognize Bias Against Working Mothers
Given these societal expectations on moms, how do moms make it in the workplace? Crina took both her boys to work until they could walk - and was promoted several times while doing so. Kirsten also took her youngest to work as an infant, but worked very hard - and was successful - in keeping it a secret from her bosses. Here’s the truth: Being a mom is an asset to professional growth, driving productivity, management skills and more.
Researchers from the Center for Creative Leadership studied productivity of parents in the workplace, and found just what working mothers already know: “Raising a family helps develop skills such as negotiating, compromising, conflict resolution and multitasking.” How Working Mothers Can Overcome Bias. Unfortunately, the strengths are often not recognized and moms face compensation disparities, are less likely to be hired and promoted to jobs and are more likely to leave jobs.
There are lots of things our governments and communities can do - childcare, paid leave, support for caregivers, flex hours and the like, but there are also things that we, as moms, can do to push back against and mitigate this bias.
And here are some more good reads:
How Working Mothers Can Overcome Bias
Will Working Mothers Take Your Company to Court?
Working mothers face a ‘wall’ of bias—but there are ways to push back
Your body is constantly sending messages to your brain. The good news is that for the most part, you’re in control! Simple changes to your posture, your facial expression, even the way you’re standing can change how you feel!
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our twosome talks about using your body to hack your brain. What you do with your body can affect your performance, your success - and get you more of that joy, meaning and ease we are looking for in our work. Who knew?!
As with most show topics, this show topic was inspired by a listener and her own struggle with her body’s response during public speaking. Crina has listened to Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are - and suggested a few of Amy’s strategies on how you can use your body language to affect your own brain and body. We often think about what our body language communicates to others, but this episode is about what your body language communicates to YOU!
Think power poses, think the runner crossing the finish line first and raising arms overhead, think the soccer player scoring a goal and arms thrust overhead and eyes to the sky - these are the poses of winners. Many of these poses are associated with men and masculine traits, but it's time for us fabulous females to own some of that magic. And this is a real thing - a field of science called embodied cognition.
Cuddy conducted an experiment where applicants were interviewed - and the situation was stressful because the interviewers were coached to show no reaction at all. Half of the participants were instructed to do the power pose (arms outstretched and overhead) before the interview and half were instructed to wrap their arms around themselves and curl up. These interviews were taped and when operservers watched the interviews and picked the successful candidates - the cast majority were the candidates who had performed the power pose.
There is some interesting work from Mat Boule in Montreal on how posture affects how you learn and perform.
What we do with our bodies can affect how we perform and how we experience our workplace. Listen in for the extra special not-so-secret strategies on how to get your body to speak the language you need to hear.
And, of course, as always - interesting reads and listens:
Science Says These 11 Body Language Secrets Will Make You More Successful
Your body is constantly sending messages to your brain. The good news is that for the most part, you’re in control! Simple changes to your posture, your facial expression, even the way you’re standing can change how you feel!
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our twosome talks about using your body to hack your brain. What you do with your body can affect your performance, your success - and get you more of that joy, meaning and ease we are looking for in our work. Who knew?!
As with most show topics, this show topic was inspired by a listener and her own struggle with her body’s response during public speaking. Crina has listened to Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are - and suggested a few of Amy’s strategies on how you can use your body language to affect your own brain and body. We often think about what our body language communicates to others, but this episode is about what your body language communicates to YOU!
Think power poses, think the runner crossing the finish line first and raising arms overhead, think the soccer player scoring a goal and arms thrust overhead and eyes to the sky - these are the poses of winners. Many of these poses are associated with men and masculine traits, but it's time for us fabulous females to own some of that magic. And this is a real thing - a field of science called embodied cognition.
Cuddy conducted an experiment where applicants were interviewed - and the situation was stressful because the interviewers were coached to show no reaction at all. Half of the participants were instructed to do the power pose (arms outstretched and overhead) before the interview and half were instructed to wrap their arms around themselves and curl up. These interviews were taped and when operservers watched the interviews and picked the successful candidates - the cast majority were the candidates who had performed the power pose.
There is some interesting work from Mat Boule in Montreal on how posture affects how you learn and perform.
What we do with our bodies can affect how we perform and how we experience our workplace. Listen in for the extra special not-so-secret strategies on how to get your body to speak the language you need to hear.
And, of course, as always - interesting reads and listens:
Science Says These 11 Body Language Secrets Will Make You More Successful
When the future is unknown we tend to unravel, but is this the only option? While our brains are not trained to settle down in uncertain conditions, it is possible to survive and even thrive when life, and work, is up in the air.
SHOW NOTES
Our hosts on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work do some metaphorical spelunking into our brains on uncertainty - and most importantly - what to do about it. How can you have joy, meaning and ease in your work when you are experiencing uncertainty? Crina and Kirsten will tell you how.
First, an exploration of our brains on uncertainty . . .
According to a 2014 study in the journal Nature Reviews Neuroscience, uncertainty disrupts many of the habitual and automatic mental processes that govern routine action. This disruption creates conflict in the brain, and this conflict can lead to a state of both hypervigilance and outsized emotional reactivity to negative experiences or information. In other words, uncertainty acts like rocket fuel for worry; it causes people to see threats everywhere they look, and at the same time it makes them more likely to react emotionally in response to those threats. And that is no good when it comes to meaning, ease and joy!
And there is lots of uncertainty at work:
And or course our wonder women will not leave us holding the big ugly bag of uncertainty. Crina’s “go to” response to uncertainty is to plan or plan not to plan and COVID has presented her with many opportunities to use her coping strategies for uncertainty. Kirsten tends to rely on radical acceptance in the face of uncertainty - to accept what is - or - is not.
Here are some other strategies to deal with uncertainty:
And as always - the good reads:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0965856414002146
Uncertainty and Anticipation in Anxiety
Why we're hardwired to hate uncertainty | Marc Lewis
When the future is unknown we tend to unravel, but is this the only option? While our brains are not trained to settle down in uncertain conditions, it is possible to survive and even thrive when life, and work, is up in the air.
SHOW NOTES
Our hosts on Crina and Kirsten Get to Work do some metaphorical spelunking into our brains on uncertainty - and most importantly - what to do about it. How can you have joy, meaning and ease in your work when you are experiencing uncertainty? Crina and Kirsten will tell you how.
First, an exploration of our brains on uncertainty . . .
According to a 2014 study in the journal Nature Reviews Neuroscience, uncertainty disrupts many of the habitual and automatic mental processes that govern routine action. This disruption creates conflict in the brain, and this conflict can lead to a state of both hypervigilance and outsized emotional reactivity to negative experiences or information. In other words, uncertainty acts like rocket fuel for worry; it causes people to see threats everywhere they look, and at the same time it makes them more likely to react emotionally in response to those threats. And that is no good when it comes to meaning, ease and joy!
And there is lots of uncertainty at work:
And or course our wonder women will not leave us holding the big ugly bag of uncertainty. Crina’s “go to” response to uncertainty is to plan or plan not to plan and COVID has presented her with many opportunities to use her coping strategies for uncertainty. Kirsten tends to rely on radical acceptance in the face of uncertainty - to accept what is - or - is not.
Here are some other strategies to deal with uncertainty:
And as always - the good reads:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0965856414002146
Uncertainty and Anticipation in Anxiety
Why we're hardwired to hate uncertainty | Marc Lewis
Performing a ritual has been proven to suppress the anxiety response in the brain. Rituals also calm the mind, help us transition from one task to the next, bond people together and provide structure to otherwise chaotic days.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts turn their attention to the importance of rituals - the secret sauce to satisfaction.
The world can be a crazy and chaotic place - and that is certainly true now with COVID and protests and politics and working from home (or not working at all), working outside of your home (back to COVID) plus all of the things that “normal” life presents. Rituals can keep us grounded and connected.
Dr. Nick Hobson is a neuroscientist from the University of Toronto and founder of The Behaviorist, a behavioral and brain science consultancy, describes a ritual as:
But don’t get stuck on the definition - focus on whether there is meaning in the repetitive action.
While we can have rituals that are just our own, rituals often involve other people. Dr. Cristine H. Legare, associate professor of psychology at The University of Texas at Austin says, “[m]ost rituals are done in groups as collective practices. And there is always group buy-in. The amazing thing is that, unlike habits or routines, they have been shown in social psychology to improve everything—from making your food tastier to making you more motivated.”.
And here are some more benefits from rituals - rituals can regulate
Rituals help us regulate strong emotions - think about a funeral. They impose order in the chaos that is sometimes life - think renewing wedding vows. Rituals can also be more everyday - think a family eating pizza and cozying up on a couch to watch a movie every Friday night to wind down from the week and reconnect.
But our hosts are talking about WORK - so what about rituals at work??!!
Work rituals can express values and build connection and have been found to increase satisfaction and productivity. Rituals at work should be as inclusive as possible to ensure everyone can take part. Key questions to ask: is this something that everyone can feel comfortable participating in? What is the impact on overall company culture? What happens if someone wants to opt-out?
Here are some ideas for workplace rituals:
When a new employee joins, how do you welcome and connect the new person:
Lunch out
At one company, each employee leaves something from their desk and the new employee has to find the owner and the story behind the object
DropBox, a company who values delight, dends each new employee the ingredients to make and decorate cupcakes
When an employee leaves, how do you send them off:
At AirBNB, the entire office forms a human tunnel of well-wishers for the departing employee to run through
How do you create connection during COVID:
A weekly Zoom meeting with an interesting question for everyone to answer - and no work topics
Send boxes of snacks and drinks for a Zoom happy hour
Whatever you do, it should be engaging, meaningful and regular - the data says it will make your workplace more productive and satisfying!
And interesting reading:
How Rituals at Work Boost Team Performance (An Investigative Report)| The Beautiful Blog
Using purposeful workplace rituals to build better teams - Bracket
Performing a ritual has been proven to suppress the anxiety response in the brain. Rituals also calm the mind, help us transition from one task to the next, bond people together and provide structure to otherwise chaotic days.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts turn their attention to the importance of rituals - the secret sauce to satisfaction.
The world can be a crazy and chaotic place - and that is certainly true now with COVID and protests and politics and working from home (or not working at all), working outside of your home (back to COVID) plus all of the things that “normal” life presents. Rituals can keep us grounded and connected.
Dr. Nick Hobson is a neuroscientist from the University of Toronto and founder of The Behaviorist, a behavioral and brain science consultancy, describes a ritual as:
But don’t get stuck on the definition - focus on whether there is meaning in the repetitive action.
While we can have rituals that are just our own, rituals often involve other people. Dr. Cristine H. Legare, associate professor of psychology at The University of Texas at Austin says, “[m]ost rituals are done in groups as collective practices. And there is always group buy-in. The amazing thing is that, unlike habits or routines, they have been shown in social psychology to improve everything—from making your food tastier to making you more motivated.”.
And here are some more benefits from rituals - rituals can regulate
Rituals help us regulate strong emotions - think about a funeral. They impose order in the chaos that is sometimes life - think renewing wedding vows. Rituals can also be more everyday - think a family eating pizza and cozying up on a couch to watch a movie every Friday night to wind down from the week and reconnect.
But our hosts are talking about WORK - so what about rituals at work??!!
Work rituals can express values and build connection and have been found to increase satisfaction and productivity. Rituals at work should be as inclusive as possible to ensure everyone can take part. Key questions to ask: is this something that everyone can feel comfortable participating in? What is the impact on overall company culture? What happens if someone wants to opt-out?
Here are some ideas for workplace rituals:
When a new employee joins, how do you welcome and connect the new person:
Lunch out
At one company, each employee leaves something from their desk and the new employee has to find the owner and the story behind the object
DropBox, a company who values delight, dends each new employee the ingredients to make and decorate cupcakes
When an employee leaves, how do you send them off:
At AirBNB, the entire office forms a human tunnel of well-wishers for the departing employee to run through
How do you create connection during COVID:
A weekly Zoom meeting with an interesting question for everyone to answer - and no work topics
Send boxes of snacks and drinks for a Zoom happy hour
Whatever you do, it should be engaging, meaningful and regular - the data says it will make your workplace more productive and satisfying!
And interesting reading:
How Rituals at Work Boost Team Performance (An Investigative Report)| The Beautiful Blog
Using purposeful workplace rituals to build better teams - Bracket
Tons of humor and light-hearted commentary about the co-workers and bosses who make our lives miserable.
This show marks the one year anniversary of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work - and what a great and fun ride it has been!! From KMRE Community Powered Radio to the Clubhouse, from Zoom and now from the barn - Crina and Kirsten Get to Work has been on the move and evolving. Most important - thanks to our listeners - we appreciate you and what you contribute to your world and workplaces - and you ask great questions and make great comments.
Because it is our anniversary episode, we want to indulge ourselves and have a little fun calling out some folks who make our workplace miserable - and to laugh a bit and point some fingers - cuz every once in a while that feels good.
Here are the co-workers who bug us . . . .
And here are the Covid complaints . . .
And just because we can, here is what bugs us about bosses . . .
And Crina offers some helpful tips to make sure you are not one of these people.
Seriously, our listeners are perfect - and we hope you enjoy this episode with some light-hearted ribbing.
Tons of humor and light-hearted commentary about the co-workers and bosses who make our lives miserable.
This show marks the one year anniversary of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work - and what a great and fun ride it has been!! From KMRE Community Powered Radio to the Clubhouse, from Zoom and now from the barn - Crina and Kirsten Get to Work has been on the move and evolving. Most important - thanks to our listeners - we appreciate you and what you contribute to your world and workplaces - and you ask great questions and make great comments.
Because it is our anniversary episode, we want to indulge ourselves and have a little fun calling out some folks who make our workplace miserable - and to laugh a bit and point some fingers - cuz every once in a while that feels good.
Here are the co-workers who bug us . . . .
And here are the Covid complaints . . .
And just because we can, here is what bugs us about bosses . . .
And Crina offers some helpful tips to make sure you are not one of these people.
Seriously, our listeners are perfect - and we hope you enjoy this episode with some light-hearted ribbing.
Celebrating and honoring women is one of the most effective ways to ensure that more of us step up and engage in our work and our lives. In fact studies show that efforts to call out women's contributions can have a profound impact on our willingness to lead and contribute.
SHOW NOTES
Happy Fourth of July! Not so fast . . . July 4 is a complicated holiday for some Americans. So our hosts decide to pole vault over the thicket of complicated feelings about the 4th and celebrate the contributions women of color have made to the amazing and beautiful quilt that is the American workplace.
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is all about inspiration - and what we know from the research is that calling out, recognizing, acknowledging womens’ success in the workplace not only creates more willingness in the women acknowledged to take on bigger challenges, but does the same thing for the women around them. So put on your jet pack, listener, you are on for a rocket fueled inspirational ride.
Dr. Mae Jemeson - the real life Buckaroo Bonzai, astronaut, physician, dancer and on a mission to send humans outside the solar system. We can all learn from her life motto, “live deeply and look up.”
Fawn Sharp - Quinault Nation President and president of the North American Indian Congress. Fawn is a leader among leaders who has used her leadership and the law to advance native people in the United States and to advocate for the protection of the land.
Dr. Alexa Canady - first black female neuroscientist, who made an incredible difference in the lives of the children she cared for - and she struggled with confidence at many points in her career. She cites the mentors in her life for opening doors for her as a key to her success.
Rosalinda Guillen - farm worker organizer and head of the intentionally female-led organization, Community to Community. Rosalinda works for farm worker rights while she transforms our political relationships and our relationship to the land and the people who grow our food.
.
Janice Bryant Howroyd - owner of ActOne Group - a $3 billion dollar company located in 19 countries. Her business philosophy came from her family of 13 - organization, respect and communication.
Yuri Kochiyama - interned in Arkansas after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, which she says was the beginning of her political awakening, she was influenced by Malcom X and spent her life working on civil rights issues.
Look at your story
What makes your life difficult? Can you use it like Yuri Kochiyama?
Where is the opportunity in your life? Maybe you can just look up and see it like Dr. Jemeson
Where do you have the opportunity to make change? Maybe like Rosalinda Guilien, it is literally where you stand.
What is your contribution to work?
And enjoy this good stuff . . .
Fawn Sharp, Newly Elected NCAI President, to Tap 'Strength and Braintrust All Across Indian Country'
Fawn Sharp World Ceres Talk: "Climate Impact on the Future of the Quinault Nation"
Latina Lens: Rosalinda Guillen
Janice Bryant Howroyd - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DfaTtDNMb0
Celebrating and honoring women is one of the most effective ways to ensure that more of us step up and engage in our work and our lives. In fact studies show that efforts to call out women's contributions can have a profound impact on our willingness to lead and contribute.
SHOW NOTES
Happy Fourth of July! Not so fast . . . July 4 is a complicated holiday for some Americans. So our hosts decide to pole vault over the thicket of complicated feelings about the 4th and celebrate the contributions women of color have made to the amazing and beautiful quilt that is the American workplace.
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is all about inspiration - and what we know from the research is that calling out, recognizing, acknowledging womens’ success in the workplace not only creates more willingness in the women acknowledged to take on bigger challenges, but does the same thing for the women around them. So put on your jet pack, listener, you are on for a rocket fueled inspirational ride.
Dr. Mae Jemeson - the real life Buckaroo Bonzai, astronaut, physician, dancer and on a mission to send humans outside the solar system. We can all learn from her life motto, “live deeply and look up.”
Fawn Sharp - Quinault Nation President and president of the North American Indian Congress. Fawn is a leader among leaders who has used her leadership and the law to advance native people in the United States and to advocate for the protection of the land.
Dr. Alexa Canady - first black female neuroscientist, who made an incredible difference in the lives of the children she cared for - and she struggled with confidence at many points in her career. She cites the mentors in her life for opening doors for her as a key to her success.
Rosalinda Guillen - farm worker organizer and head of the intentionally female-led organization, Community to Community. Rosalinda works for farm worker rights while she transforms our political relationships and our relationship to the land and the people who grow our food.
.
Janice Bryant Howroyd - owner of ActOne Group - a $3 billion dollar company located in 19 countries. Her business philosophy came from her family of 13 - organization, respect and communication.
Yuri Kochiyama - interned in Arkansas after the bombing of Pearl Harbor, which she says was the beginning of her political awakening, she was influenced by Malcom X and spent her life working on civil rights issues.
Look at your story
What makes your life difficult? Can you use it like Yuri Kochiyama?
Where is the opportunity in your life? Maybe you can just look up and see it like Dr. Jemeson
Where do you have the opportunity to make change? Maybe like Rosalinda Guilien, it is literally where you stand.
What is your contribution to work?
And enjoy this good stuff . . .
Fawn Sharp, Newly Elected NCAI President, to Tap 'Strength and Braintrust All Across Indian Country'
Fawn Sharp World Ceres Talk: "Climate Impact on the Future of the Quinault Nation"
Latina Lens: Rosalinda Guillen
Janice Bryant Howroyd - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DfaTtDNMb0
Many of us are out of work and struggling to manage the very real, difficult reality of losing a job. Whether you were laid off, furloughed or are simply concerned about your job security, we want to help you manage the emotions, examine your situation and make a plan to move forward.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our fierce friends tackle losing your job - YIKES! Some people lose their job because there is a pandemic, business closure or some other reason out of their control, others lose their job because the boss is a jerk or just plain wrong and some of us lose a job because our skill set is in some way not matched to the job.
So what do you do when this happens? First, throw an effective, but short pity party. Second, get to work!
Reframing the situation is the first step - what opportunities are out there? Kirsten’s sister was fired from a job over 20 years ago and as a result now runs a very successful and highly regarded veterinary hospital. Now that’s a silver linin!. Kirsten also has clients routinely tell they are in the end glad they were let go because they were MISERABLE! Crina has experienced the same thing with people she has terminated. There may be something good in losing a job - really!
Spend some time understanding what went wrong - and the only person you can control is yourself - so mine for gold there. How did this happen? Was it the pandemic? If so, maybe that’s enough digging. If not, how did you find yourself with no job - and while there will certainly be people you want to blame, you will make the next decision about a job. What do you need to know about yourself to make the next decision about a job a great one?
Make a plan - do you need to talk with a lawyer to determine whether your termination was about the color of your skin, your gender, your age, disability or some other protected status? And get that unemployment application in! Do you want the same job or is it time for a new kind of job? While you are deciding and once you have decided and are looking, keep your contacts warm, continue to educate yourself - look for ways to acquire new skills or training.
And most importantly, treat yourself well during this time - get sleep, exercise, stay in touch with friends and colleague and keep that incredible brain firing - doing this will help you ward off depression and getting stuck and move you
And the interesting reads referenced in the episode:
CEO of Airbnb Taught Us an Extraordinary Lesson When He Fired 25% of His Company
What to Do When You Have Been Fired
The Employment Situation - April 2020
Many of us are out of work and struggling to manage the very real, difficult reality of losing a job. Whether you were laid off, furloughed or are simply concerned about your job security, we want to help you manage the emotions, examine your situation and make a plan to move forward.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our fierce friends tackle losing your job - YIKES! Some people lose their job because there is a pandemic, business closure or some other reason out of their control, others lose their job because the boss is a jerk or just plain wrong and some of us lose a job because our skill set is in some way not matched to the job.
So what do you do when this happens? First, throw an effective, but short pity party. Second, get to work!
Reframing the situation is the first step - what opportunities are out there? Kirsten’s sister was fired from a job over 20 years ago and as a result now runs a very successful and highly regarded veterinary hospital. Now that’s a silver linin!. Kirsten also has clients routinely tell they are in the end glad they were let go because they were MISERABLE! Crina has experienced the same thing with people she has terminated. There may be something good in losing a job - really!
Spend some time understanding what went wrong - and the only person you can control is yourself - so mine for gold there. How did this happen? Was it the pandemic? If so, maybe that’s enough digging. If not, how did you find yourself with no job - and while there will certainly be people you want to blame, you will make the next decision about a job. What do you need to know about yourself to make the next decision about a job a great one?
Make a plan - do you need to talk with a lawyer to determine whether your termination was about the color of your skin, your gender, your age, disability or some other protected status? And get that unemployment application in! Do you want the same job or is it time for a new kind of job? While you are deciding and once you have decided and are looking, keep your contacts warm, continue to educate yourself - look for ways to acquire new skills or training.
And most importantly, treat yourself well during this time - get sleep, exercise, stay in touch with friends and colleague and keep that incredible brain firing - doing this will help you ward off depression and getting stuck and move you
And the interesting reads referenced in the episode:
CEO of Airbnb Taught Us an Extraordinary Lesson When He Fired 25% of His Company
What to Do When You Have Been Fired
The Employment Situation - April 2020
Taking a vacation is one of the most effective ways to improve your work, change your perspective and recharge your batteries. Now more than ever we encourage all of you to find ways to disconnect and focus on you.
SHOW NOTES
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is all about VACATIONS!! Yeah! Time off, a get away, a break, a grand adventure, slowing down or maybe speeding up - whatever you find restorative and enriching. This episode was taped before the pandemic, and while it did not feel timely to our hosts to release an episode on travel in the middle of stay at home proclamations and orders, given that some of that is easing and lots of listeners are telling us they need a change of scenery, it is time to discuss how good it is to create a vacation for yourself - and being closer to home can still be great.
Before our hosts take off on the vacation topic, they consider the advantages of shorter, yet still meaningful breaks in your day. Crina talks about her time with trees, and as usual, Kirsten has her head in a book called Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday, which discusses the benefits of space to your intellectual, physical and spiritual well-being.
The data about vacations very clearly tells us that vacations increase productivity and satisfaction in the workplace. In fact, studies show that even planning your vacation can lift your spirits. And, just an additional 10 hours of vacation can improve performance according to a study by Ernst & Young.
Too many people let cost, pets, concern about work coverage, too much work, fear of being gone from work or home get in the way of what is an uplifting and rejuvenating experience, including the 52% of Americans who do not use all of their vacation. WHAT??!!
Our host end this show with some tips about how to make getting out of and coming back to the workplace easier, a discussion about whether you work while you are on vacation (mostly no) and how to make the most of your time away. So get out there and enjoy!
And now . . . . the fun reads.
5 reasons you need to take a vacation according to science.
Opinion | Relax! You'll Be More Productive
Why You Need to Take a Vacation (Even When You Can't Afford One)
Taking a vacation is one of the most effective ways to improve your work, change your perspective and recharge your batteries. Now more than ever we encourage all of you to find ways to disconnect and focus on you.
SHOW NOTES
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is all about VACATIONS!! Yeah! Time off, a get away, a break, a grand adventure, slowing down or maybe speeding up - whatever you find restorative and enriching. This episode was taped before the pandemic, and while it did not feel timely to our hosts to release an episode on travel in the middle of stay at home proclamations and orders, given that some of that is easing and lots of listeners are telling us they need a change of scenery, it is time to discuss how good it is to create a vacation for yourself - and being closer to home can still be great.
Before our hosts take off on the vacation topic, they consider the advantages of shorter, yet still meaningful breaks in your day. Crina talks about her time with trees, and as usual, Kirsten has her head in a book called Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday, which discusses the benefits of space to your intellectual, physical and spiritual well-being.
The data about vacations very clearly tells us that vacations increase productivity and satisfaction in the workplace. In fact, studies show that even planning your vacation can lift your spirits. And, just an additional 10 hours of vacation can improve performance according to a study by Ernst & Young.
Too many people let cost, pets, concern about work coverage, too much work, fear of being gone from work or home get in the way of what is an uplifting and rejuvenating experience, including the 52% of Americans who do not use all of their vacation. WHAT??!!
Our host end this show with some tips about how to make getting out of and coming back to the workplace easier, a discussion about whether you work while you are on vacation (mostly no) and how to make the most of your time away. So get out there and enjoy!
And now . . . . the fun reads.
5 reasons you need to take a vacation according to science.
Opinion | Relax! You'll Be More Productive
Why You Need to Take a Vacation (Even When You Can't Afford One)
We all feel anxious at work sometimes, and for some, these emotions impact performance, relationships with coworkers and the quality of their work.
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our terrific twosome analyze anxiety in the workplace.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Anxiety can also be triggered after the fact, i.e. by a death, job loss. Anxiety can express itself as feeling nervous, jittery, sick to your stomach, jumpy, tired, irritable, dry mouth, sweaty and having difficulty sleeping – these are all signs of anxiety. And Crina explains that if you get sweaty, panty liners stuck to the inside of your jacket is an excellent solution.
And what causes it – what does not?!! Deadlines, conflicts at work, managing people, unclear expectations, and of course - a pandemic. Anxiety is prevalent among women at work. A study referenced in Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace says 71% of women experience anxiety in the workplace.
How do we manage it and how do we know when we need help? Help may be just the thing if your anxiety interferes with your participation at work or in your life. If you avoid experiences because of anxiety or feel as if your suffering is not reasonable, get help from a licensed therapist or counselor.
Experts believe, in fact, that people may be hard-wired in the way they experience anxiety. Although scientists still don't precisely understand the interactions among genetic, environmental, psychological, and developmental factors, research suggests that high anxiety tends to run in families.
And of course there are real COVID reasons for anxiety both in and outside of the workplace - women are on the front lines in healthcare (80% are women) and in women in social services (83% are women) according to Tina Tchen of Time’s Up - and there are real risks being on the frontlines. Covid also presents loves of uncertainties for all of us - what will returning to work be like, is it safe, will I catch it, is the information I am seeing in the news accurate, will I get a job in what will likely be a competitive market?
So what do we do:
Check out these articles for more inf
Anxiety and Stress in the Workplace
Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace
Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace
https://www.verywellmind.com/work-anxiety-4692762
We all feel anxious at work sometimes, and for some, these emotions impact performance, relationships with coworkers and the quality of their work.
SHOW NOTES
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our terrific twosome analyze anxiety in the workplace.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Anxiety can also be triggered after the fact, i.e. by a death, job loss. Anxiety can express itself as feeling nervous, jittery, sick to your stomach, jumpy, tired, irritable, dry mouth, sweaty and having difficulty sleeping – these are all signs of anxiety. And Crina explains that if you get sweaty, panty liners stuck to the inside of your jacket is an excellent solution.
And what causes it – what does not?!! Deadlines, conflicts at work, managing people, unclear expectations, and of course - a pandemic. Anxiety is prevalent among women at work. A study referenced in Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace says 71% of women experience anxiety in the workplace.
How do we manage it and how do we know when we need help? Help may be just the thing if your anxiety interferes with your participation at work or in your life. If you avoid experiences because of anxiety or feel as if your suffering is not reasonable, get help from a licensed therapist or counselor.
Experts believe, in fact, that people may be hard-wired in the way they experience anxiety. Although scientists still don't precisely understand the interactions among genetic, environmental, psychological, and developmental factors, research suggests that high anxiety tends to run in families.
And of course there are real COVID reasons for anxiety both in and outside of the workplace - women are on the front lines in healthcare (80% are women) and in women in social services (83% are women) according to Tina Tchen of Time’s Up - and there are real risks being on the frontlines. Covid also presents loves of uncertainties for all of us - what will returning to work be like, is it safe, will I catch it, is the information I am seeing in the news accurate, will I get a job in what will likely be a competitive market?
So what do we do:
Check out these articles for more inf
Anxiety and Stress in the Workplace
Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace
Mind Matters: Anxiety in the Workplace
https://www.verywellmind.com/work-anxiety-4692762
The pressure to do it all is nearly overwhelming and something has to give. We can't simply work harder and expect to get everything done, especially when we're juggling jobs, family, community AND our own needs.
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten tackle the hard truths of what it is really like to work from home in this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work.
First up – expectations. There are expectations from all sides when it comes to working from home. There are expectations from our bosses (even if you are your own boss), but that is not all that happens when we are at home – add expectations from ourselves, from our family, from our friends and those expectations that we see as “normal” on social media.
Second up – pressure. There is pressure to meet those expectations, to perform, produce, caretake, solve – and do to it all as gracefully as a Zen Buddhist monk, but sexy. ARGHH.
These are things many of us have struggled with for years and even decades – and one of the things the pandemic has exposed is the depth and breadth of those things that just don’t work.
We need to examine whether we’re holding on to expectations that have never really worked for us. The experience of the pandemic has brought this to light in a way we had not seen before. We need a paradigm shift – away from what does not work and to something that allows us to be whole humans rather than freaked out and frenetic.
Crina thought it would be wonderful to take virtual tour of a museum every week during the Stay at Home Order. Kirsten envisioned on-line yoga and long walks. And the reality - Crina is still in the same clothes she wore yesterday and Kirsten is hunkered down on the brown coach pounding away on her computer and talking with clients before the sun comes up and after it goes down – working harder than ever. Crina and Kirsten share stories of friends and colleagues doing crazy $%&# to keep everything together for family, work and friends. Take away – this does not work – probably not in the short term and definitely not in the long term – and maybe it never has worked for women.
Here is the solution – from the author and thought-leader Glennon Doyle – throw away the memo! Recognize when the “memo” does not work for you. Recognize when the expectations others have for you deplete you in a way that is unsustainable and sucks joy from your life.
In the short term, the pandemic is not normal, and our reactions and responses are likely not normal either. This is an opportunity to be more humane to ourselves and each other – and possibly address some of the long-term issues that we have been struggling with that the realities of working from home during a pandemic have shown us.
We have a chance to lower the bar, which does not mean we do not want excellence, but maybe good enough is good enough with most things – particularly when so much excellence means giving up your humanness. Be kind to yourself, look at your patterns. Ask yourself if your behavior is the product of habit or is it full of intention? And how does it serve you and your values?
The pressure to do it all is nearly overwhelming and something has to give. We can't simply work harder and expect to get everything done, especially when we're juggling jobs, family, community AND our own needs.
SHOW NOTES
Crina and Kirsten tackle the hard truths of what it is really like to work from home in this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work.
First up – expectations. There are expectations from all sides when it comes to working from home. There are expectations from our bosses (even if you are your own boss), but that is not all that happens when we are at home – add expectations from ourselves, from our family, from our friends and those expectations that we see as “normal” on social media.
Second up – pressure. There is pressure to meet those expectations, to perform, produce, caretake, solve – and do to it all as gracefully as a Zen Buddhist monk, but sexy. ARGHH.
These are things many of us have struggled with for years and even decades – and one of the things the pandemic has exposed is the depth and breadth of those things that just don’t work.
We need to examine whether we’re holding on to expectations that have never really worked for us. The experience of the pandemic has brought this to light in a way we had not seen before. We need a paradigm shift – away from what does not work and to something that allows us to be whole humans rather than freaked out and frenetic.
Crina thought it would be wonderful to take virtual tour of a museum every week during the Stay at Home Order. Kirsten envisioned on-line yoga and long walks. And the reality - Crina is still in the same clothes she wore yesterday and Kirsten is hunkered down on the brown coach pounding away on her computer and talking with clients before the sun comes up and after it goes down – working harder than ever. Crina and Kirsten share stories of friends and colleagues doing crazy $%&# to keep everything together for family, work and friends. Take away – this does not work – probably not in the short term and definitely not in the long term – and maybe it never has worked for women.
Here is the solution – from the author and thought-leader Glennon Doyle – throw away the memo! Recognize when the “memo” does not work for you. Recognize when the expectations others have for you deplete you in a way that is unsustainable and sucks joy from your life.
In the short term, the pandemic is not normal, and our reactions and responses are likely not normal either. This is an opportunity to be more humane to ourselves and each other – and possibly address some of the long-term issues that we have been struggling with that the realities of working from home during a pandemic have shown us.
We have a chance to lower the bar, which does not mean we do not want excellence, but maybe good enough is good enough with most things – particularly when so much excellence means giving up your humanness. Be kind to yourself, look at your patterns. Ask yourself if your behavior is the product of habit or is it full of intention? And how does it serve you and your values?
In the midst of change and transition comes the opportunity for innovation, new ideas and new ways of seeing the world. Join us as we continue to explore how to manage personal change and how to harness the opportunities that transition can offer.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts take on Part II of Change and Transitions - Innovation. After we get through the hard stuff of change - acknowledging endings and getting ourselves ready for what is to come, we get to the good stuff, innovation. As a reminder, Crina and Kirsten put this two-part conversation in the context of William Bridges’ Change and Transition Model.
Last week they discussed endings - letting go, mourning loss, identifying what is being left behind. And your response to change is often driven by how much notice you have. Sudden change can be more traumatic and take more work and time to deal with. When you know change is coming, it can sometimes be easier. Think about how much easier it is to get kids off of n the playground when they have a 10-minute warning of leaving versus the kids who do not have any warning.
Once you let go, you find yourself in the neutral zone. Bridges describes this as the in-between time when the old is gone, but the new is not fully functional. It can be uncomfortable. Folks can have low-energy and can get stuck. You may have a sense of what to come, but you are not actually quite there.
The next step is new beginnings and Bridges describes those as:
The light at the end of the tunnel is innovation. And out hosts take a dive into history to articulate that hard stuff can lead to good stuff. History tells us that good things can come out of this pandemic.
For example, the Black Plague led to workers earning a wage for their labors and the Enlightenment.
Pandemics in the in the early 20th century led to the concept of modern altruism, led in Philadelphia by the African Free Society
And look what is happening now . . . we are all doing things that not long ago would seem impossible. We are moving workers home, establishing new ways of doing things and new processes - in record speed.
Crina and Kirsten get all “fortune-teller” about what will happen as a result of this COVID-19 pandemic. Crina thinks sweatpants will be the new little black dress. There will be new DIY with at home wax and dye kits. But in all seriousness, this will be a time where we revamp our workplaces and our homes to accomodate long term changes in how we work. We will rethink how we make money. And hopefully we will use this opportunity to think how we create more of what we want - more meaning, ease and joy - in our lives. Don’t miss the opportunity.
And please enjoy this goodness:
Five Predictions For What Coronavirus Means For Innovation Leaders
“Coronavirus Capitalism”: Naomi Klein’s Case for Transformative Change Amid Coronavirus Pandemic
The Number One Key to Innovation: Scarcity
COVID-19 Will Fuel the Next Wave of Innovation
Why Coronavirus Will Stimulate Innovation
How Epidemics of the Past Changed the Way Americans Lived
In the midst of change and transition comes the opportunity for innovation, new ideas and new ways of seeing the world. Join us as we continue to explore how to manage personal change and how to harness the opportunities that transition can offer.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts take on Part II of Change and Transitions - Innovation. After we get through the hard stuff of change - acknowledging endings and getting ourselves ready for what is to come, we get to the good stuff, innovation. As a reminder, Crina and Kirsten put this two-part conversation in the context of William Bridges’ Change and Transition Model.
Last week they discussed endings - letting go, mourning loss, identifying what is being left behind. And your response to change is often driven by how much notice you have. Sudden change can be more traumatic and take more work and time to deal with. When you know change is coming, it can sometimes be easier. Think about how much easier it is to get kids off of n the playground when they have a 10-minute warning of leaving versus the kids who do not have any warning.
Once you let go, you find yourself in the neutral zone. Bridges describes this as the in-between time when the old is gone, but the new is not fully functional. It can be uncomfortable. Folks can have low-energy and can get stuck. You may have a sense of what to come, but you are not actually quite there.
The next step is new beginnings and Bridges describes those as:
The light at the end of the tunnel is innovation. And out hosts take a dive into history to articulate that hard stuff can lead to good stuff. History tells us that good things can come out of this pandemic.
For example, the Black Plague led to workers earning a wage for their labors and the Enlightenment.
Pandemics in the in the early 20th century led to the concept of modern altruism, led in Philadelphia by the African Free Society
And look what is happening now . . . we are all doing things that not long ago would seem impossible. We are moving workers home, establishing new ways of doing things and new processes - in record speed.
Crina and Kirsten get all “fortune-teller” about what will happen as a result of this COVID-19 pandemic. Crina thinks sweatpants will be the new little black dress. There will be new DIY with at home wax and dye kits. But in all seriousness, this will be a time where we revamp our workplaces and our homes to accomodate long term changes in how we work. We will rethink how we make money. And hopefully we will use this opportunity to think how we create more of what we want - more meaning, ease and joy - in our lives. Don’t miss the opportunity.
And please enjoy this goodness:
Five Predictions For What Coronavirus Means For Innovation Leaders
“Coronavirus Capitalism”: Naomi Klein’s Case for Transformative Change Amid Coronavirus Pandemic
The Number One Key to Innovation: Scarcity
COVID-19 Will Fuel the Next Wave of Innovation
Why Coronavirus Will Stimulate Innovation
How Epidemics of the Past Changed the Way Americans Lived
Change is inevitable and you are in control of how you manage it. Your emotions, your actions and your attitude are all dictated by how you deal with an ever-changing environment. Join Crina and Kirsten as they explore tools to get a grip in this time of extreme change.
SHOW NOTES
We are deep in the COVID-19 pandemic and out hosts, Crina and Kirsten, are deep in innovation with their remote recording session on Change and Transitions. This is Part I of a two-part series. In Part I Crina and Kirsten talk about change and transition, why it is so hard and what to do about it. This is the hard work we do before we get to the good stuff - innovations, which will be discussed in Part II.
Crina and Kirsten talk about their experiences with the change that the Covid-19 pandemic has created in their own lives and those of their family and friends and of course, listeners. The big take-away is that we are all in different places. Some folks have been forced to innovate at hyper-speed, such as medical professionals, governments, first responders and newly remote workers. Others of us are in a holding pattern or home with no work. All of us have some uncertainty. Will our work change? Will the changes that have happened be forever? Will I be able to adapt to this change and what will it look like in the long-term?
In order to help listeners navigate change and transition, Crina and Kirsten focus on a model, developed by William Bridges. Bridges asserts that change is something that is external, where transition is an internal process. According to Bridges, “Transition is not just a nice way to say change. It is the inner process through which people come to terms with a change, as they let go of how things used to be and reorient themselves to the way that things are now.”
Crina and Kirsten also talk about strategies for moving through transition including: don’t underestimate how hard change can be; acknowledge your sense of loss; take control; acknowledge your feelings; and take care of yourself.
For more information, check out these resources:
Making sense of life's changes: The Transition Model by William Bridges
William Bridges Associates | Transition Management Leaders
Change is inevitable and you are in control of how you manage it. Your emotions, your actions and your attitude are all dictated by how you deal with an ever-changing environment. Join Crina and Kirsten as they explore tools to get a grip in this time of extreme change.
SHOW NOTES
We are deep in the COVID-19 pandemic and out hosts, Crina and Kirsten, are deep in innovation with their remote recording session on Change and Transitions. This is Part I of a two-part series. In Part I Crina and Kirsten talk about change and transition, why it is so hard and what to do about it. This is the hard work we do before we get to the good stuff - innovations, which will be discussed in Part II.
Crina and Kirsten talk about their experiences with the change that the Covid-19 pandemic has created in their own lives and those of their family and friends and of course, listeners. The big take-away is that we are all in different places. Some folks have been forced to innovate at hyper-speed, such as medical professionals, governments, first responders and newly remote workers. Others of us are in a holding pattern or home with no work. All of us have some uncertainty. Will our work change? Will the changes that have happened be forever? Will I be able to adapt to this change and what will it look like in the long-term?
In order to help listeners navigate change and transition, Crina and Kirsten focus on a model, developed by William Bridges. Bridges asserts that change is something that is external, where transition is an internal process. According to Bridges, “Transition is not just a nice way to say change. It is the inner process through which people come to terms with a change, as they let go of how things used to be and reorient themselves to the way that things are now.”
Crina and Kirsten also talk about strategies for moving through transition including: don’t underestimate how hard change can be; acknowledge your sense of loss; take control; acknowledge your feelings; and take care of yourself.
For more information, check out these resources:
Making sense of life's changes: The Transition Model by William Bridges
William Bridges Associates | Transition Management Leaders
Is competition "lady-like?" Do you care? Join us as we consider how women compete, challenge you to think about competition as a positive way and encourage you to use it to strive for the things that you want! GO FOR IT!!
SHOW NOTES
Science tells us women tend to compete in ways that minimize risk and use fewer resources. For example, males in the animal kingdom (and we can include our own males) tend to engage in competition with riskier behaviors that use greater resources - think of a fist-fight over a perceived slight. Alternatively, females in our animal kingdom do the opposite - think the silent treatment. The smart folk, also known as scientists, say this may be due to females’ generally greater responsibilities around procreation.
And of course, there is that nasty thing called the patriarchy that tells us that competitive behavior by women is socially unacceptable. Women are often perceived negatively when they exhibit competitive traits. Our hosts call BS (bologna sandwich) on that!
Studies show that competition increases innovation and creativity, quality and productivity - and that most people perform better with competition. Alternatively, too much competition or dysfunctional competition can kill morale, cause stress and just generally create more bologna sandwiches.
Crina and Kirsten talk about competition at work for jobs, raises, attention, respect and how we can engage in that in a positive way. Kirsten shares her experience as a new lawyer in an office full of male co-workers as well as her experience participating in sports as forming her feelings about and approach to competition.
Our hosts end by discussing a new approach to competition. Using others as examples of what can be achieved and what you may want in your life can create inspiration. Is someone you know creating something in their life that you think is good? Aspire to that thing - but rather than being motivated by jealousy, be motivated by what is possible and work to achieve that with confidence in yourself. Others can show us what is possible, but it has to be your journey and your inspiration. And the joy of helping others along the way will carry you forward.
Women Experience More Incivility at Work — Especially from Other Women
Opinion | Why Women Compete With Each Other
Competition Among Women: Myth and Reality
Female competition and aggression: interdisciplinary perspectives
(PDF) Sisters at Arms: A Theory of Same-Sex Conflict and Its Problematization in Organizations
Is competition "lady-like?" Do you care? Join us as we consider how women compete, challenge you to think about competition as a positive way and encourage you to use it to strive for the things that you want! GO FOR IT!!
SHOW NOTES
Science tells us women tend to compete in ways that minimize risk and use fewer resources. For example, males in the animal kingdom (and we can include our own males) tend to engage in competition with riskier behaviors that use greater resources - think of a fist-fight over a perceived slight. Alternatively, females in our animal kingdom do the opposite - think the silent treatment. The smart folk, also known as scientists, say this may be due to females’ generally greater responsibilities around procreation.
And of course, there is that nasty thing called the patriarchy that tells us that competitive behavior by women is socially unacceptable. Women are often perceived negatively when they exhibit competitive traits. Our hosts call BS (bologna sandwich) on that!
Studies show that competition increases innovation and creativity, quality and productivity - and that most people perform better with competition. Alternatively, too much competition or dysfunctional competition can kill morale, cause stress and just generally create more bologna sandwiches.
Crina and Kirsten talk about competition at work for jobs, raises, attention, respect and how we can engage in that in a positive way. Kirsten shares her experience as a new lawyer in an office full of male co-workers as well as her experience participating in sports as forming her feelings about and approach to competition.
Our hosts end by discussing a new approach to competition. Using others as examples of what can be achieved and what you may want in your life can create inspiration. Is someone you know creating something in their life that you think is good? Aspire to that thing - but rather than being motivated by jealousy, be motivated by what is possible and work to achieve that with confidence in yourself. Others can show us what is possible, but it has to be your journey and your inspiration. And the joy of helping others along the way will carry you forward.
Women Experience More Incivility at Work — Especially from Other Women
Opinion | Why Women Compete With Each Other
Competition Among Women: Myth and Reality
Female competition and aggression: interdisciplinary perspectives
(PDF) Sisters at Arms: A Theory of Same-Sex Conflict and Its Problematization in Organizations
Covid-19 SUCKS! What are you going to do about it?
SHOW NOTES
Like all of you, Crina and Kirsten are adjusting to life during a pandemic. There is so much uncertainty about the disease, fear about the economy, and confusion about what we should and should not do to protect ourselves and our community. There is also the very real fact that many people are losing their jobs and their livelihoods.
Join us for this special edition, off-the-cuff episode of our podcast to hear what we’re thinking, how we’re coping and what we’re suggesting for workers, employers and business owners.
We also offer you ways to express kindness, generosity and abundance during these difficult times.
Covid-19 SUCKS! What are you going to do about it?
SHOW NOTES
Like all of you, Crina and Kirsten are adjusting to life during a pandemic. There is so much uncertainty about the disease, fear about the economy, and confusion about what we should and should not do to protect ourselves and our community. There is also the very real fact that many people are losing their jobs and their livelihoods.
Join us for this special edition, off-the-cuff episode of our podcast to hear what we’re thinking, how we’re coping and what we’re suggesting for workers, employers and business owners.
We also offer you ways to express kindness, generosity and abundance during these difficult times.
Money makes the world go round, but it might not make you happy. In fact women who make more money than their partner report that they are less satisfied with their lives and their marriage. Crina and Kirsten ask, “How can this be true? And how can we start to change the narrative about female breadwinners?”
SHOW NOTES
Who doesn’t like making a good salary? But what happens when you make more money than your partner? A listener encouraged us to consider this topic and her suggestion is our next episode, On Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our lively ladies discuss the different aspects of making more money than your partner.
Let’s not deny it, it is great to make money - there are very few downsides to doing so. However, it may present complications when you make more money than your partner, particularly when your partner is a male.
In 1960, women were the primary breadwinner in 6% of American households, that number is up to 25% today - so we know this topic affects a lot of women - and while that is good news, it is also, as we said, complicated.
What is interesting about the demographics on this issue is that younger women are less likely to make more than their male partners. Women in the 50s and 60s are actually more likely to make more than their dudes. Race and ethnicity also affect these numbers. So, we know that the same factors that affect women’s compensation in general also affect whether women make more money than their beloveds.
The data shows that most men still think it is better when women do not work outside the home and when a woman makes 40% of the household income, male partners start to get nervous. When women make more, both men and women report lower marital happiness than couples where the men make more.
Crina and Kirsten have lots of experience with this. Crina has made more money, made less money, worked more and worked less than her spouse. Kirsten has been the earner, a single mom and has also made less than her spouse. So with all the bases covered, these gals get to the reality of wrestling with these issues.
And find all the interesting information below:
7 Women Who Make More Money Than Their Men Sound Off.
When Wives Earn More Than Husbands, Neither Partner Likes to Admit It
Men's stress jumps if their wives earn more than 40% of household income
The Happiness Penalty for Breadwinning Moms
Breadwinning Mothers Continue To Be the US Norm
Women Breadwinners Household Income Family Impact Study
Money makes the world go round, but it might not make you happy. In fact women who make more money than their partner report that they are less satisfied with their lives and their marriage. Crina and Kirsten ask, “How can this be true? And how can we start to change the narrative about female breadwinners?”
SHOW NOTES
Who doesn’t like making a good salary? But what happens when you make more money than your partner? A listener encouraged us to consider this topic and her suggestion is our next episode, On Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our lively ladies discuss the different aspects of making more money than your partner.
Let’s not deny it, it is great to make money - there are very few downsides to doing so. However, it may present complications when you make more money than your partner, particularly when your partner is a male.
In 1960, women were the primary breadwinner in 6% of American households, that number is up to 25% today - so we know this topic affects a lot of women - and while that is good news, it is also, as we said, complicated.
What is interesting about the demographics on this issue is that younger women are less likely to make more than their male partners. Women in the 50s and 60s are actually more likely to make more than their dudes. Race and ethnicity also affect these numbers. So, we know that the same factors that affect women’s compensation in general also affect whether women make more money than their beloveds.
The data shows that most men still think it is better when women do not work outside the home and when a woman makes 40% of the household income, male partners start to get nervous. When women make more, both men and women report lower marital happiness than couples where the men make more.
Crina and Kirsten have lots of experience with this. Crina has made more money, made less money, worked more and worked less than her spouse. Kirsten has been the earner, a single mom and has also made less than her spouse. So with all the bases covered, these gals get to the reality of wrestling with these issues.
And find all the interesting information below:
7 Women Who Make More Money Than Their Men Sound Off.
When Wives Earn More Than Husbands, Neither Partner Likes to Admit It
Men's stress jumps if their wives earn more than 40% of household income
The Happiness Penalty for Breadwinning Moms
Breadwinning Mothers Continue To Be the US Norm
Women Breadwinners Household Income Family Impact Study
While many people see racism as intentional and overt, it is actually woven into the fabric of our daily lives. Well-meaning people perpetuate systems, policies and structures that are designed to benefit white people and discriminate against people of color. Check out this episode to hear how Crina and Kirsten have confronted their own racism and the racist systems that they are a part of.
SHOW NOTES
Our co-hosts are tackling a big, ugly problem - maybe the biggest - racism in the workplace. Before you listen - trust their intentions. This is an important topic and they are pushing themselves to talk about it - and making themselves more vulnerable than usual. They do not have all of the answers and probably get lots wrong, but it would be way worse to not talk about it. So hold tight and bear with our gals.
This show is for people who acknowledge that racism exists - our dynamic duo is not out to convince anyone about anything, but just to get us all thinking about these issues.
Crina starts with a discussion of the nomenclature of racism - institutional, system and structural racism. It helps to define what we are talking about so we can better understand it. Just like men sometimes do not recognize the patriarchy, white people sometimes do not recognize white privilege.
Kirsten digs into the data about race and jobs and advancement in the workplace - as she loves to do.
Crina shares stories from her executive director days that are candid and revealing as to how this really happens and plays itself out in the workplace.
Crina and Kirsten hope you leave the show with more awareness and curiosity and less defensiveness - and that it leads to less suffering from racism and enjoying the riches of diversity.
And please ding in deeper with the following . . . there is so much!
Views on Race in America 2019 | Pew Research Center
Being Black at a White WorkplaceStatus and Trends in the Education of Racial and Ethnic Groups 2018
What Is White Privilege? Here Are 9 Everyday Examples
The Urgency of Intersectionality
17 Deplorable Examples Of White Privilege
What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege
Why Aren't Black Employees Getting More White-Collar Jobs?
While many people see racism as intentional and overt, it is actually woven into the fabric of our daily lives. Well-meaning people perpetuate systems, policies and structures that are designed to benefit white people and discriminate against people of color. Check out this episode to hear how Crina and Kirsten have confronted their own racism and the racist systems that they are a part of.
SHOW NOTES
Our co-hosts are tackling a big, ugly problem - maybe the biggest - racism in the workplace. Before you listen - trust their intentions. This is an important topic and they are pushing themselves to talk about it - and making themselves more vulnerable than usual. They do not have all of the answers and probably get lots wrong, but it would be way worse to not talk about it. So hold tight and bear with our gals.
This show is for people who acknowledge that racism exists - our dynamic duo is not out to convince anyone about anything, but just to get us all thinking about these issues.
Crina starts with a discussion of the nomenclature of racism - institutional, system and structural racism. It helps to define what we are talking about so we can better understand it. Just like men sometimes do not recognize the patriarchy, white people sometimes do not recognize white privilege.
Kirsten digs into the data about race and jobs and advancement in the workplace - as she loves to do.
Crina shares stories from her executive director days that are candid and revealing as to how this really happens and plays itself out in the workplace.
Crina and Kirsten hope you leave the show with more awareness and curiosity and less defensiveness - and that it leads to less suffering from racism and enjoying the riches of diversity.
And please ding in deeper with the following . . . there is so much!
Views on Race in America 2019 | Pew Research Center
Being Black at a White WorkplaceStatus and Trends in the Education of Racial and Ethnic Groups 2018
What Is White Privilege? Here Are 9 Everyday Examples
The Urgency of Intersectionality
17 Deplorable Examples Of White Privilege
What I Said When My White Friend Asked for My Black Opinion on White Privilege
Why Aren't Black Employees Getting More White-Collar Jobs?
Statistics show that the majority of workers have been in a romantic relationship at work, but it’s not all rainbows and unicorns out there. While some of these relationships end in marriage, most of them fail. Even more disrupting are the surprising number of adulterous relationships at work! With all this love, sex, drama and secrecy...how does anyone get their work done?
SHOW NOTES
What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day - or really any day - than a bit of time with Crina and Kirsten and an episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work on romance in the workplace. We know relationships at work are important to our satisfaction in our workplaces. And the data indicates that many of us meet our special someone at work. While all that is fantastic, too much of a good thing can be complicated (and even uncomfortable) for everyone - including co-workers.
This episode is for those in workplace romances and for those who work with those in workplace romances - which is apparently almost all of us. A romantic relationship can be fodder for gossip and distraction in the workplace. It can be stressful and difficult to be in a romantic relationship that co-workers do not know about. Secrets are hard - and of course if you are a co-worker who knows a secret - secrets can be even harder. Given that 1 in 6 romantic relationships at work is adulterous, we suspect this happens more than we think or want - particularly for those concerned with their productivity at work and of course, the business bottom line. And, of course, it can be complicated to supervise employees in romantic relationships. And then there is the tragic break up . . .
Crina and Kirsten talk about the different kinds of romantic relationships, the difficulties and benefits that can arise, how the workplace is impacted and some strategies for these difficulties and impacts.
And, as always, we encourage you to explore this topic more deeply with the following links - how can you resist?
Why Relationships in the Workplace Matter | Blog
8 Workplace Romance Statistics You Need to Know Right Now
Professionally Pursuing Workplace Romance: What Organizations Should Teach Employees
The Truth About Office Romance
Tips for Dealing With Romantic Relationships in the Workplace
Statistics show that the majority of workers have been in a romantic relationship at work, but it’s not all rainbows and unicorns out there. While some of these relationships end in marriage, most of them fail. Even more disrupting are the surprising number of adulterous relationships at work! With all this love, sex, drama and secrecy...how does anyone get their work done?
SHOW NOTES
What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day - or really any day - than a bit of time with Crina and Kirsten and an episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work on romance in the workplace. We know relationships at work are important to our satisfaction in our workplaces. And the data indicates that many of us meet our special someone at work. While all that is fantastic, too much of a good thing can be complicated (and even uncomfortable) for everyone - including co-workers.
This episode is for those in workplace romances and for those who work with those in workplace romances - which is apparently almost all of us. A romantic relationship can be fodder for gossip and distraction in the workplace. It can be stressful and difficult to be in a romantic relationship that co-workers do not know about. Secrets are hard - and of course if you are a co-worker who knows a secret - secrets can be even harder. Given that 1 in 6 romantic relationships at work is adulterous, we suspect this happens more than we think or want - particularly for those concerned with their productivity at work and of course, the business bottom line. And, of course, it can be complicated to supervise employees in romantic relationships. And then there is the tragic break up . . .
Crina and Kirsten talk about the different kinds of romantic relationships, the difficulties and benefits that can arise, how the workplace is impacted and some strategies for these difficulties and impacts.
And, as always, we encourage you to explore this topic more deeply with the following links - how can you resist?
Why Relationships in the Workplace Matter | Blog
8 Workplace Romance Statistics You Need to Know Right Now
Professionally Pursuing Workplace Romance: What Organizations Should Teach Employees
The Truth About Office Romance
Tips for Dealing With Romantic Relationships in the Workplace
Regardless of where you are in your career, you need to get clear on where you're going and how you're going to get there. Set your sights high, surround yourself with allies and supporters, and go get what you want!
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts talk about moving your self into the work life you want - whether you call it climbing the ladder, running a ropes course with team members or just creating your own vision for what you want your experience to be - this episode addresses how to get clear about where you are going and how to get there.
However you think of advancing yourself, remember that it’s a journey and one on which folks spend a lot of time and energy, so it better be a great journey.
Crina works her magic on goal creation by reminding listeners to:
Kirsten, with help from Crina, focuses on how to get there and how to deal with the frustrating reality of the percentage of women who advance in the workplace. This is referred to as getting over the broken rung on women’s advancement in the workplace.
Our hosts talk about what actually works and what does not. Forget the BS advice about playing golf, dressing for success, be funny/don’t be funny, make cookies and on and on. Instead, find people and groups to support your ascent to where you want to be, such as taking actions that showcase what you are good at, say yes to things that move you towards your goal and of course ask for what you want - see episode 10.
And as always - below are some good resources for further thinking on this.
The CEO's Secret To Moving Up the Corporate Career Ladder
Ladder Down: Climbing to the Top | 2018 Women in Law Issue
Regardless of where you are in your career, you need to get clear on where you're going and how you're going to get there. Set your sights high, surround yourself with allies and supporters, and go get what you want!
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts talk about moving your self into the work life you want - whether you call it climbing the ladder, running a ropes course with team members or just creating your own vision for what you want your experience to be - this episode addresses how to get clear about where you are going and how to get there.
However you think of advancing yourself, remember that it’s a journey and one on which folks spend a lot of time and energy, so it better be a great journey.
Crina works her magic on goal creation by reminding listeners to:
Kirsten, with help from Crina, focuses on how to get there and how to deal with the frustrating reality of the percentage of women who advance in the workplace. This is referred to as getting over the broken rung on women’s advancement in the workplace.
Our hosts talk about what actually works and what does not. Forget the BS advice about playing golf, dressing for success, be funny/don’t be funny, make cookies and on and on. Instead, find people and groups to support your ascent to where you want to be, such as taking actions that showcase what you are good at, say yes to things that move you towards your goal and of course ask for what you want - see episode 10.
And as always - below are some good resources for further thinking on this.
The CEO's Secret To Moving Up the Corporate Career Ladder
Ladder Down: Climbing to the Top | 2018 Women in Law Issue
New Flash!! It is a myth that men are more confident than women. In fact, studies show that women are in fact as confident as men,but we are judged, criticized and punished for owning our confidence. In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our curious couple considers confidence, what it is, who exhibits it and why it’s time to own it, sister!
Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands.
Crina and Kirsten talk about their own experience with confidence. Kirsten trusts her judgement about what she does and does not know. She is confident in her ability to learn and become competent in something. Kirsten attributes this to lots of experience, failure and recovery.
Crina discusses a friend of hers who is confident, but does not feel comfortable expressing her confidence – and leans towards wanting to be liked. Her friend is getting ready to start a new job and when asked why she wants to do it, it is because the position pays better, and other people think she will be good. When Crina went deeper with her friend, she discovered that her friend was confident in her ability to do the job, was excited about it, but did not know how to express these things.
Our hosts consider what is confidence in a woman?
Character traits:
Behavior traits:
We read these traits as indicators of confidence, and colleagues often infer a lack of confidence when they are absent. Because many of these “executive” behaviors show up more in men, we perceive a “confidence gap.”
There are things we can do about this, such as speaking well to yourself, taking care of yourself, taking risks, not apologizing, finding ways to get feedback. And of course, we can help others with this, we can lift other women up, be a mentor, encourage other women, and normalize expressions of confidence.
And why do we want confidence – because it feels good. It is key to getting what you want, particularly in the workplace. Individuals with confidence experience greater enjoyment in life, less fear and anxiety, more energy and motivation and better interactions with others.
We hope you enjoy these articles:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-women/201001/the-truth-about-women-and-self-esteem
What is Self-Confidence? + 9 Ways to Increase It [2019 Update]
Is the Confidence Gap Between Men and Women a Myth?
New Flash!! It is a myth that men are more confident than women. In fact, studies show that women are in fact as confident as men,but we are judged, criticized and punished for owning our confidence. In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our curious couple considers confidence, what it is, who exhibits it and why it’s time to own it, sister!
Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that she can successfully face day to day challenges and demands.
Crina and Kirsten talk about their own experience with confidence. Kirsten trusts her judgement about what she does and does not know. She is confident in her ability to learn and become competent in something. Kirsten attributes this to lots of experience, failure and recovery.
Crina discusses a friend of hers who is confident, but does not feel comfortable expressing her confidence – and leans towards wanting to be liked. Her friend is getting ready to start a new job and when asked why she wants to do it, it is because the position pays better, and other people think she will be good. When Crina went deeper with her friend, she discovered that her friend was confident in her ability to do the job, was excited about it, but did not know how to express these things.
Our hosts consider what is confidence in a woman?
Character traits:
Behavior traits:
We read these traits as indicators of confidence, and colleagues often infer a lack of confidence when they are absent. Because many of these “executive” behaviors show up more in men, we perceive a “confidence gap.”
There are things we can do about this, such as speaking well to yourself, taking care of yourself, taking risks, not apologizing, finding ways to get feedback. And of course, we can help others with this, we can lift other women up, be a mentor, encourage other women, and normalize expressions of confidence.
And why do we want confidence – because it feels good. It is key to getting what you want, particularly in the workplace. Individuals with confidence experience greater enjoyment in life, less fear and anxiety, more energy and motivation and better interactions with others.
We hope you enjoy these articles:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-women/201001/the-truth-about-women-and-self-esteem
What is Self-Confidence? + 9 Ways to Increase It [2019 Update]
Is the Confidence Gap Between Men and Women a Myth?
Women are told that they need to be likable in order to be successful, yet those that display “likable” characteristics are seen as less capable and professional. This double standard creates an invisible ladder for men in the working world while at the same time dictating behaviors that are counter to women’s success.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our terrific twosome gets down and dirty with likeability. Alicia Menendez states in her book, The Likeability Trap- How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are, that likeability is primarily a mask for conscious and unconscious bias established and promoted by the patriarchy. And with all things patriarchy – our hosts get after crushing that in this episode.
We all want to be liked (well, most of us anyway) so what it the problem with being liked?
The core of likeability is that we, as women, are expected to meet other’s beliefs about who we should be. And that is we are kind, soft, warm, nurturing, relationship focused etc. Men, alternatively, are expected to be strong, assertive, decisive, direct, result focused etc. While the boxes in which we put people do us all a disservice, the boxes women are expected to check are oftentimes not conducive to success. Women who are strong leaders and competent, capable employees are seen as too aggressive, shrill, angry, a battle axe or an ice queen.
As Marianne Cooper wrote in the Harvard Business Review: “What is really going on...is that high-achieving women experience social backlash because their very success—and specifically the behaviors that created that success—violates our expectations about how women are supposed to behave. Women are expected to be nice, warm, friendly, and nurturing.”
The first problem with likeability is that when we focus on being liked, we are judging ourselves against someone else’s values, not our own, and those can change. Likeability is an ever shifting paradigm and changes with peoples’ opinions. Likeability focuses on the wrong things, it is hard to attain, it keeps women in their place. We sacrifice our true selves in an attempt to achieve it and we expend unnecessary energy trying to get it.
Kirsten discusses how the issue of likeability and how it can be exacerbated by the color of a person’s skin. The workplace is often structured in ways that reward behavior considered socially appropriate in white men but socially inappropriate in women and people of color. Joan C. Williams in her NYT opinion piece describes the phenomenon as providing an invisible escalator for white men.
Crina discusses the particular problem likeability presents when you are a leader.
But don’t fear – our hosts propose that authenticity, self-awareness, relatability and connection are solutions to the conundrum of likeability. But if that does not work, do as Alicia Menendez suggests, if you must chose being trying to be liked and being successful, always choose success.
Links to more info
For Women Leaders, Likability and Success Hardly Go Hand-in-Hand
Opinion | How Women Can Escape the Likability Trap
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to: yougettowork@gmail.com
Women are told that they need to be likable in order to be successful, yet those that display “likable” characteristics are seen as less capable and professional. This double standard creates an invisible ladder for men in the working world while at the same time dictating behaviors that are counter to women’s success.
SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work our terrific twosome gets down and dirty with likeability. Alicia Menendez states in her book, The Likeability Trap- How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are, that likeability is primarily a mask for conscious and unconscious bias established and promoted by the patriarchy. And with all things patriarchy – our hosts get after crushing that in this episode.
We all want to be liked (well, most of us anyway) so what it the problem with being liked?
The core of likeability is that we, as women, are expected to meet other’s beliefs about who we should be. And that is we are kind, soft, warm, nurturing, relationship focused etc. Men, alternatively, are expected to be strong, assertive, decisive, direct, result focused etc. While the boxes in which we put people do us all a disservice, the boxes women are expected to check are oftentimes not conducive to success. Women who are strong leaders and competent, capable employees are seen as too aggressive, shrill, angry, a battle axe or an ice queen.
As Marianne Cooper wrote in the Harvard Business Review: “What is really going on...is that high-achieving women experience social backlash because their very success—and specifically the behaviors that created that success—violates our expectations about how women are supposed to behave. Women are expected to be nice, warm, friendly, and nurturing.”
The first problem with likeability is that when we focus on being liked, we are judging ourselves against someone else’s values, not our own, and those can change. Likeability is an ever shifting paradigm and changes with peoples’ opinions. Likeability focuses on the wrong things, it is hard to attain, it keeps women in their place. We sacrifice our true selves in an attempt to achieve it and we expend unnecessary energy trying to get it.
Kirsten discusses how the issue of likeability and how it can be exacerbated by the color of a person’s skin. The workplace is often structured in ways that reward behavior considered socially appropriate in white men but socially inappropriate in women and people of color. Joan C. Williams in her NYT opinion piece describes the phenomenon as providing an invisible escalator for white men.
Crina discusses the particular problem likeability presents when you are a leader.
But don’t fear – our hosts propose that authenticity, self-awareness, relatability and connection are solutions to the conundrum of likeability. But if that does not work, do as Alicia Menendez suggests, if you must chose being trying to be liked and being successful, always choose success.
Links to more info
For Women Leaders, Likability and Success Hardly Go Hand-in-Hand
Opinion | How Women Can Escape the Likability Trap
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to: yougettowork@gmail.com
The average person changes careers up to 7 times during their lives and experts are predicting this number will steadily increase. Automation, shifting economies and an ever-increasing number of career choices are some of the primary reasons that people, especially millennials, are jumping ship.
Do you find yourself drained from work? Are you bored? Do you feel like you’re missing something? Are you just in it for the money? You may want to consider whether a career change would give you more joy, ease and satisfaction in your work.
Crina made a decision to make a big career change to establish her own consulting firm for leadership and organizational development. Kirsten has gone through the process of considering a career change several times during her career and ended up deciding to make changes where she was rather than moving to a different career.
Crina serves as the episode’s lab rat - opening the curtain on her process, the highs, the lows and what you can expect. She talks candidly about the challenges. How to prepare, what to expect from the change, and what is there to look forward to?
Join Crina and Kirsten for a conversation that can lead to transformative change and more satisfaction where you are.
The average person changes careers up to 7 times during their lives and experts are predicting this number will steadily increase. Automation, shifting economies and an ever-increasing number of career choices are some of the primary reasons that people, especially millennials, are jumping ship.
Do you find yourself drained from work? Are you bored? Do you feel like you’re missing something? Are you just in it for the money? You may want to consider whether a career change would give you more joy, ease and satisfaction in your work.
Crina made a decision to make a big career change to establish her own consulting firm for leadership and organizational development. Kirsten has gone through the process of considering a career change several times during her career and ended up deciding to make changes where she was rather than moving to a different career.
Crina serves as the episode’s lab rat - opening the curtain on her process, the highs, the lows and what you can expect. She talks candidly about the challenges. How to prepare, what to expect from the change, and what is there to look forward to?
Join Crina and Kirsten for a conversation that can lead to transformative change and more satisfaction where you are.
At a time when we're connected to each other 24/7, many workers report feeling isolated, lonely and lacking genuine connection. In fact this reality so common that researchers have begun calling it a, "Loneliness Epidemic." The antidote: Human-to-human connection.
Social interaction at work is incredibly important, yet many people feel the effects of workplace isolation. In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts discuss the loneliness epidemic that is impacting hundreds of thousands of workers. Isolation in the workplace can be subtle or severe, but in either case, the effects are significant. Isolation triggers the same parts of the brain that are triggered by physical pain, which means it makes folks feel real bad – and that is not what we want in the place we spend much of our waking hours.
Isolation can occur because of how your work space is oriented, because you are the “only” (whether you are the only sales person on a team of engineers, the only person with children or maybe the only person who is not a gamer), because the workplace culture supports it – or maybe just because the people you work with are jerks. You may be the boss or you may work remotely. All of this contributes to being isolated from others. We know the importance of friendship in the workplace and how it contributes to your workplace satisfaction and productivity. Isolation is just the opposite of those yummy, fuzzy, fun friend feelings.
So what can you DO about it . . .
And keep your sense of humor – sometimes the feelings of isolation can be self-perpetuating.
Crina and Kirsten tell personal stories about their own experiences with isolation and how they have addressed it in their own work lives.
Links to more information:
At a time when we're connected to each other 24/7, many workers report feeling isolated, lonely and lacking genuine connection. In fact this reality so common that researchers have begun calling it a, "Loneliness Epidemic." The antidote: Human-to-human connection.
Social interaction at work is incredibly important, yet many people feel the effects of workplace isolation. In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our hosts discuss the loneliness epidemic that is impacting hundreds of thousands of workers. Isolation in the workplace can be subtle or severe, but in either case, the effects are significant. Isolation triggers the same parts of the brain that are triggered by physical pain, which means it makes folks feel real bad – and that is not what we want in the place we spend much of our waking hours.
Isolation can occur because of how your work space is oriented, because you are the “only” (whether you are the only sales person on a team of engineers, the only person with children or maybe the only person who is not a gamer), because the workplace culture supports it – or maybe just because the people you work with are jerks. You may be the boss or you may work remotely. All of this contributes to being isolated from others. We know the importance of friendship in the workplace and how it contributes to your workplace satisfaction and productivity. Isolation is just the opposite of those yummy, fuzzy, fun friend feelings.
So what can you DO about it . . .
And keep your sense of humor – sometimes the feelings of isolation can be self-perpetuating.
Crina and Kirsten tell personal stories about their own experiences with isolation and how they have addressed it in their own work lives.
Links to more information:
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is about self-care, which is a timely topic as we enter into the holidays. It is a busy time of year - and most of us have busy lives without the additional stresses posed by the holidays. Our gals discuss self care as personal actualization - and taking back your body and your time and your pleasure and your feelings from those demands created by our “role” as women.
“Caring for myself is not self- indulgence. It is self preservation, and this is an act of political warfare.” by poet and writer Audre Lord
Crina and Kirsten talk about self-care from the Audre Lorde perspective. Not as a massage or a bottle of fancy bath bubbles, but as actions that put our needs before those of others to create practices that are restorative. Crina and Kirsten discuss their own restorative practices and how to create those so that you can bring your best self to all things, including your work.
Articles of Interest:
http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2017/04/the_history_of_self_care.html
https://www.thathummingbirdlife.com/blog/the-problem-with-self-care
This episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work is about self-care, which is a timely topic as we enter into the holidays. It is a busy time of year - and most of us have busy lives without the additional stresses posed by the holidays. Our gals discuss self care as personal actualization - and taking back your body and your time and your pleasure and your feelings from those demands created by our “role” as women.
“Caring for myself is not self- indulgence. It is self preservation, and this is an act of political warfare.” by poet and writer Audre Lord
Crina and Kirsten talk about self-care from the Audre Lorde perspective. Not as a massage or a bottle of fancy bath bubbles, but as actions that put our needs before those of others to create practices that are restorative. Crina and Kirsten discuss their own restorative practices and how to create those so that you can bring your best self to all things, including your work.
Articles of Interest:
http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2017/04/the_history_of_self_care.html
https://www.thathummingbirdlife.com/blog/the-problem-with-self-care
Failure is inevitable. The only way to avoid it is by doing nothing and saying nothing. Join Crina and Kirsten as they explore their own relationship to failure and explore ways to manage the emotions around this big subject.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our gals discuss failure in the workplace. Nobody likes failure but it is a reality in every workplace and for every worker. Failure prevents a lot of us challenging ourselves and taking the next step. How do you feel about failure and how does it feel when you fail? What do you worry about? And why does it feel so bad? Crina and Kirsten discuss these questions in an introduction to failure.
The studies show that women are punished more severely for mistakes than men – in other words making a mistake is more consequential if you are a woman.
Failures in the workplace can be broken into three categories – 1 - preventable failures in complex system - otherwise known as human error; 2 unavoidable failures in complex systems; 3 – error at the frontier where things are unknown. Each type of error has different consequences and results in different learning and that is the most important part of failure in the workplace, the ability to learn and grow – if you can hold on through the embarrassment, shame and whatever else comes your way.
Crina and Kirsten discuss the dos and don’ts of failure. Taking ownership and telling the truth are great places to start after a failure. It is important to get help from others too.
And it's important not to forget how to take care of ourselves after a failure – don’t wallow in your despair, but make some time to be kind and gentle with yourself – it will help you solve problems – and just make you feel better.
Failure is inevitable. The only way to avoid it is by doing nothing and saying nothing. Join Crina and Kirsten as they explore their own relationship to failure and explore ways to manage the emotions around this big subject.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our gals discuss failure in the workplace. Nobody likes failure but it is a reality in every workplace and for every worker. Failure prevents a lot of us challenging ourselves and taking the next step. How do you feel about failure and how does it feel when you fail? What do you worry about? And why does it feel so bad? Crina and Kirsten discuss these questions in an introduction to failure.
The studies show that women are punished more severely for mistakes than men – in other words making a mistake is more consequential if you are a woman.
Failures in the workplace can be broken into three categories – 1 - preventable failures in complex system - otherwise known as human error; 2 unavoidable failures in complex systems; 3 – error at the frontier where things are unknown. Each type of error has different consequences and results in different learning and that is the most important part of failure in the workplace, the ability to learn and grow – if you can hold on through the embarrassment, shame and whatever else comes your way.
Crina and Kirsten discuss the dos and don’ts of failure. Taking ownership and telling the truth are great places to start after a failure. It is important to get help from others too.
And it's important not to forget how to take care of ourselves after a failure – don’t wallow in your despair, but make some time to be kind and gentle with yourself – it will help you solve problems – and just make you feel better.
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we tackle the many ways that miscommunication happens and what you can do about it. If you’re a direct communicator like Crina, people may assume that there is some implicit message in what you are saying. They might hear you say one thing, but believe another. Miscommunication can also happen when the listener isn’t actually listening or makes incorrect assumptions about what is “really” being said. Miscommunication is also very common when we fail to listen fully because we’re waiting to talk or waiting to make our point. Finally, we all filter what is being said through our own unique experiences and stories. Many times people hear something that is actually much different than what was intended because they can’t be objective about the information that’s delivered.
Crina and Kirsten offer a few tips to combat miscommunication, starting with the elimination of assumptions. When you hear something that doesn’t sit well with you, do yourself a favor and check in. Ask that person to restate what they just said so that you can be sure you heard it accurately. If you’re using email as your primary mode of communication, practice reading that unsettling email a different way. It’s also great to develop active listening skills that make use of curiosity and kindness. Finally, when you’re the one doing the talking, make sure you’re clear about what you want to say and use clear language when delivering information.
Remember that in order to find joy, meaning and ease at work, you need to get control of how you communicate and the way you interpret what other people are saying and writing.
More info:
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, we tackle the many ways that miscommunication happens and what you can do about it. If you’re a direct communicator like Crina, people may assume that there is some implicit message in what you are saying. They might hear you say one thing, but believe another. Miscommunication can also happen when the listener isn’t actually listening or makes incorrect assumptions about what is “really” being said. Miscommunication is also very common when we fail to listen fully because we’re waiting to talk or waiting to make our point. Finally, we all filter what is being said through our own unique experiences and stories. Many times people hear something that is actually much different than what was intended because they can’t be objective about the information that’s delivered.
Crina and Kirsten offer a few tips to combat miscommunication, starting with the elimination of assumptions. When you hear something that doesn’t sit well with you, do yourself a favor and check in. Ask that person to restate what they just said so that you can be sure you heard it accurately. If you’re using email as your primary mode of communication, practice reading that unsettling email a different way. It’s also great to develop active listening skills that make use of curiosity and kindness. Finally, when you’re the one doing the talking, make sure you’re clear about what you want to say and use clear language when delivering information.
Remember that in order to find joy, meaning and ease at work, you need to get control of how you communicate and the way you interpret what other people are saying and writing.
More info:
Crina and Kirsten are both just back from fabulous adventures and share their amazing experiences with listeners before they launch into this shows meaty topic! Both women are deeply committed to leadership – fostering those talents and skills in themselves and others – especially women.
This show is for EVERYONE. Our hosts believe we all lead from where we are. They discuss the leadership capabilities surveyed in a Harvard Business Review article by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman, Women Score Higher than Men in Most Leadership Skills. What a great backdrop – that women are perceived by their co-workers having the highest rated leadership capabilities – for us to discuss leadership qualities and consider which ones we have and which ones we want to develop in ourselves.
Our hosts encourage each other and the listener to see themselves as a leader and to develop those capabilities.
Articles of Interest:
https://hbr.org/2019/06/research-women-score-higher-than-men-in-most-leadership-skills
Crina and Kirsten are both just back from fabulous adventures and share their amazing experiences with listeners before they launch into this shows meaty topic! Both women are deeply committed to leadership – fostering those talents and skills in themselves and others – especially women.
This show is for EVERYONE. Our hosts believe we all lead from where we are. They discuss the leadership capabilities surveyed in a Harvard Business Review article by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman, Women Score Higher than Men in Most Leadership Skills. What a great backdrop – that women are perceived by their co-workers having the highest rated leadership capabilities – for us to discuss leadership qualities and consider which ones we have and which ones we want to develop in ourselves.
Our hosts encourage each other and the listener to see themselves as a leader and to develop those capabilities.
Articles of Interest:
https://hbr.org/2019/06/research-women-score-higher-than-men-in-most-leadership-skills
Following on the heels of episode 11, The Crushing Burden, Crina and Kirsten continue their exploration of the things we juggle as professional, working woman In this episode, Crina and Kirsten turn to the practical while exploring how they each manage their time, how their values dictate their priorities, and where they spend their time. Kirsten checks in about her work to minimize her commitments while honoring her values. She talks about how she struggles to juggle responsibilities from her job, community, family and friends. Crina explores how her approach to time management is different from Kirsten’s and likely a product of her willingness to say, “no.” In addition to exploring their own styles, they also offer tips and tricks and strategies to help listeners get a grip on their own schedules. For instance, Kirsten recommends eating your big hairy frog first and Crina encourages listeners to choose themselves first. As always, Crina and Kirsten get real about the need to say, “no.”
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Links https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/28/smarter-living/productivity-isnt-about-time-management-itsabout-attention-management.html https://www.nyu.edu/students/academic-services/undergraduate-advisement/academic-resource-ce nter/tutoring-and-learning/academic-skills-workshops/time-management.html
Following on the heels of episode 11, The Crushing Burden, Crina and Kirsten continue their exploration of the things we juggle as professional, working woman In this episode, Crina and Kirsten turn to the practical while exploring how they each manage their time, how their values dictate their priorities, and where they spend their time. Kirsten checks in about her work to minimize her commitments while honoring her values. She talks about how she struggles to juggle responsibilities from her job, community, family and friends. Crina explores how her approach to time management is different from Kirsten’s and likely a product of her willingness to say, “no.” In addition to exploring their own styles, they also offer tips and tricks and strategies to help listeners get a grip on their own schedules. For instance, Kirsten recommends eating your big hairy frog first and Crina encourages listeners to choose themselves first. As always, Crina and Kirsten get real about the need to say, “no.”
-----------------------------
Links https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/28/smarter-living/productivity-isnt-about-time-management-itsabout-attention-management.html https://www.nyu.edu/students/academic-services/undergraduate-advisement/academic-resource-ce nter/tutoring-and-learning/academic-skills-workshops/time-management.html
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, Crina and Kirsten talk about how critical it is to have gratitude and praise in the workplace. In fact, most workers site praise and meaning as one of the most important elements of job satisfaction. Let’s face it, feeling good and getting acknowledged feels good. When someone notices that you worked hard, did something amazing, pushed through a barrier or overcome a challenge, it makes us feel motivated to do more.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of workers report that they have not received positive feedback about their work performance. Say it ain’t so!! If this is your work culture, there are things you can do to change it for yourself, your coworkers and your organizational culture. Gratitude is not only good for the receiver, but also for the giver.
If you want to start giving praise and sharing gratitude there are a few keys to be successful. Be sure that you are giving praise in a way that works for the listener. Some people like to hear feedback in public, some people prefer private praise, some of us like to see positive comments in writing and others value a gift or a pat on the back. Positive comments are also more meaningful if they are specific and timely.
It’s also important to know yourself and know how you like to receive feedback. If you’re like Crina, you might even try asking your employer for what you want.
In addition to seeking external gratification, Crina and Kirsten remind listeners to own their power and accomplishments. Remember that you are awesome!
Listen in – you’ll be grateful!
Links:
https://hbr.org/2012/01/why-appreciation-matters-so-mu
https://www.emergenetics.com/blog/workplace-appreciation-gratitude/
https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-gratitude/
https://smarttribesinstitute.com/books/
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, Crina and Kirsten talk about how critical it is to have gratitude and praise in the workplace. In fact, most workers site praise and meaning as one of the most important elements of job satisfaction. Let’s face it, feeling good and getting acknowledged feels good. When someone notices that you worked hard, did something amazing, pushed through a barrier or overcome a challenge, it makes us feel motivated to do more.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of workers report that they have not received positive feedback about their work performance. Say it ain’t so!! If this is your work culture, there are things you can do to change it for yourself, your coworkers and your organizational culture. Gratitude is not only good for the receiver, but also for the giver.
If you want to start giving praise and sharing gratitude there are a few keys to be successful. Be sure that you are giving praise in a way that works for the listener. Some people like to hear feedback in public, some people prefer private praise, some of us like to see positive comments in writing and others value a gift or a pat on the back. Positive comments are also more meaningful if they are specific and timely.
It’s also important to know yourself and know how you like to receive feedback. If you’re like Crina, you might even try asking your employer for what you want.
In addition to seeking external gratification, Crina and Kirsten remind listeners to own their power and accomplishments. Remember that you are awesome!
Listen in – you’ll be grateful!
Links:
https://hbr.org/2012/01/why-appreciation-matters-so-mu
https://www.emergenetics.com/blog/workplace-appreciation-gratitude/
https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-gratitude/
https://smarttribesinstitute.com/books/
Some people think money equals power, others think it's the root of all evil and some see it as a something to save and protect. What are the stories you tell yourself about money? Are you spending, saving or investing? Learn how your money script can dictate the way you think about that paycheck!
Some people say that sex and money is where it all happens for us and where we meet up with our “stuff.” Since Crina and Kirsten talk about work, they focus this episode MONEY. What is your philosophy about money? What is your money script – or what story do you tell yourself about money? Are you someone who saves every penny or are you comfortable spending? Do you think money equals power? Is it the root of all evil or does it define you and your success?
Crina and Kirsten also discuss how women are perceived as financial decision makers, what women think about their standard of living, investments and retirement.
Listen in as Crina and Kirsten tackle these issues head on while exploring their own relationships with money.
Links:
https://www.yourmentalwealthadvisors.com/money-scripts
https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-myths-we-believe-about-women-money
https://archive.news.iastate.edu/news/2006/nov/genderinvest.shtml
Some people think money equals power, others think it's the root of all evil and some see it as a something to save and protect. What are the stories you tell yourself about money? Are you spending, saving or investing? Learn how your money script can dictate the way you think about that paycheck!
Some people say that sex and money is where it all happens for us and where we meet up with our “stuff.” Since Crina and Kirsten talk about work, they focus this episode MONEY. What is your philosophy about money? What is your money script – or what story do you tell yourself about money? Are you someone who saves every penny or are you comfortable spending? Do you think money equals power? Is it the root of all evil or does it define you and your success?
Crina and Kirsten also discuss how women are perceived as financial decision makers, what women think about their standard of living, investments and retirement.
Listen in as Crina and Kirsten tackle these issues head on while exploring their own relationships with money.
Links:
https://www.yourmentalwealthadvisors.com/money-scripts
https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-myths-we-believe-about-women-money
https://archive.news.iastate.edu/news/2006/nov/genderinvest.shtml
On Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our dynamic duo talk about those folks who behave in a way that is out of line, beyond the pale and absolutely unacceptable – you know, assholes. Crina shares a recent experience where she and her son encountered a terribly mean woman who was the motivation for this show. While not in the workplace, this story launches our hosts into a discussion of these kinds of behaviors in the workplace and what you can do about it. And you have to have a few laughs about this frustrating folks.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
LINKS
https://firstround.com/review/our-6-must-reads-for-cutting-through-conflict-and-tough-conversations
https://hbr.org/2014/10/how-to-deal-with-a-mean-colleague
Click here to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, TuneIn, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to: yougettowork@gmail.com
On Crina and Kirsten Get to Work, our dynamic duo talk about those folks who behave in a way that is out of line, beyond the pale and absolutely unacceptable – you know, assholes. Crina shares a recent experience where she and her son encountered a terribly mean woman who was the motivation for this show. While not in the workplace, this story launches our hosts into a discussion of these kinds of behaviors in the workplace and what you can do about it. And you have to have a few laughs about this frustrating folks.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
LINKS
https://firstround.com/review/our-6-must-reads-for-cutting-through-conflict-and-tough-conversations
https://hbr.org/2014/10/how-to-deal-with-a-mean-colleague
Click here to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, TuneIn, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to: yougettowork@gmail.com
In this episode of Get to Work, hosts Crina and Kirsten answer a simple question: what makes a good employee? Previously, they talked about how important it is for employees to identify and ask for those things that they need (or want) to make work meaningful, joyous, and fulfilling. As they discussed the importance of making those requests, one listener was intrigued to know whether there were other qualities that make a desirable worker. If you are asking yourself why another employee is having a better work experience than you are, it may be good to take Crina’s and Kirsten’s advice.
Crina and Kirsten start with the basics of being a great employee: show up on time, do the work you were hired to do, be engaged and be accountable, dress appropriately. Then, they circle back to the importance of asking for things that you need to do your job and to do it well. More specifically, Crina and Kirsten call on employees to be truthful in their requests, as well as to pose potential solutions to any problems presented. In doing these things, you help your employer know how to ensure a satisfying work relationship with you. Other qualities a great employee has are positivity, appropriate curiosity, and the ability to keep work and personal life separate.
Our hosts also discuss the employer’s’ role in making a positive work environment for their direct reports. Employers should be intentional in finding out what their employees need. It is their responsibility to make space and time for their employees to express their concerns and desires. They also must be secure and flexible to provide the opportunity for employees to come to creative solutions on their own. Crina and Kirsten want women in the workplace to show up with their best selves – and ideally in a place where the employer or manager appreciates and encourages full participation.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Get to Work, hosts Crina and Kirsten answer a simple question: what makes a good employee? Previously, they talked about how important it is for employees to identify and ask for those things that they need (or want) to make work meaningful, joyous, and fulfilling. As they discussed the importance of making those requests, one listener was intrigued to know whether there were other qualities that make a desirable worker. If you are asking yourself why another employee is having a better work experience than you are, it may be good to take Crina’s and Kirsten’s advice.
Crina and Kirsten start with the basics of being a great employee: show up on time, do the work you were hired to do, be engaged and be accountable, dress appropriately. Then, they circle back to the importance of asking for things that you need to do your job and to do it well. More specifically, Crina and Kirsten call on employees to be truthful in their requests, as well as to pose potential solutions to any problems presented. In doing these things, you help your employer know how to ensure a satisfying work relationship with you. Other qualities a great employee has are positivity, appropriate curiosity, and the ability to keep work and personal life separate.
Our hosts also discuss the employer’s’ role in making a positive work environment for their direct reports. Employers should be intentional in finding out what their employees need. It is their responsibility to make space and time for their employees to express their concerns and desires. They also must be secure and flexible to provide the opportunity for employees to come to creative solutions on their own. Crina and Kirsten want women in the workplace to show up with their best selves – and ideally in a place where the employer or manager appreciates and encourages full participation.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of the Crina and Kirsten Get to Work podcast, hosts Crina and Kirsten discuss “the crushing burden” that often weighs on working women as they find themselves navigating work responsibilities along with community and caregiving responsibilities. They discuss the way in which this burden tends to impact women in particular, who often have to balance work life with such things as the needs of children and spouses, volunteering, and caring for aging parents. They also address their own experiences of schedules filled with various obligations and responsibilities.
After explaining what the crushing burden is, Crina and Kirsten talk about emotions associated with the burden. They focus first (and primarily) on guilt, which is a common feeling experienced in connection with both the challenge of juggling many responsibilities and the choices made as women try to navigate their responsibilities. Guilt, they note, involves a sense of offense and of failing to meet an expectation. It’s distinct from disappointment, anger, and frustration, and is also a socially acceptable emotion, particularly for women. Rather than guilt, some women experience depression and/or anxiety because of the crushing burden. The emotions are not as social acceptable.
Having diagnosed and examined some of the emotional reactions women often have to the challenge, Crina and Kirsten turn to the response they hope to encourage in their listeners. They desire to see women move beyond feelings of guilt, anxiety and depression, and to release themselves from the expectation that they are everything to everybody, and choose to care well for themselves at least as well as they care for others. Crina, who does not struggle with guilt in the same way Kirsten does, provides insight on how to live without guilt. She and Crina discuss the value of personal well being, and consider the concept of obligations. They ultimately conclude that, while a woman should by no means abandon all responsibility, she should recognize that the obligation to self is as important if not more important than other obligations. So, they advise, treat yourself as well as you treat others.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of the Crina and Kirsten Get to Work podcast, hosts Crina and Kirsten discuss “the crushing burden” that often weighs on working women as they find themselves navigating work responsibilities along with community and caregiving responsibilities. They discuss the way in which this burden tends to impact women in particular, who often have to balance work life with such things as the needs of children and spouses, volunteering, and caring for aging parents. They also address their own experiences of schedules filled with various obligations and responsibilities.
After explaining what the crushing burden is, Crina and Kirsten talk about emotions associated with the burden. They focus first (and primarily) on guilt, which is a common feeling experienced in connection with both the challenge of juggling many responsibilities and the choices made as women try to navigate their responsibilities. Guilt, they note, involves a sense of offense and of failing to meet an expectation. It’s distinct from disappointment, anger, and frustration, and is also a socially acceptable emotion, particularly for women. Rather than guilt, some women experience depression and/or anxiety because of the crushing burden. The emotions are not as social acceptable.
Having diagnosed and examined some of the emotional reactions women often have to the challenge, Crina and Kirsten turn to the response they hope to encourage in their listeners. They desire to see women move beyond feelings of guilt, anxiety and depression, and to release themselves from the expectation that they are everything to everybody, and choose to care well for themselves at least as well as they care for others. Crina, who does not struggle with guilt in the same way Kirsten does, provides insight on how to live without guilt. She and Crina discuss the value of personal well being, and consider the concept of obligations. They ultimately conclude that, while a woman should by no means abandon all responsibility, she should recognize that the obligation to self is as important if not more important than other obligations. So, they advise, treat yourself as well as you treat others.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of the Crina and Kirsten Get to Work podcast, hosts Crina and Kirsten discuss how women can get what they want in the workplace. They suggest starting by getting clear about what you want and getting ready to ask for it in the most effective way. They acknowledge that women’s voices are often not well represented or heard. Thus, women in the workplace will likely need to take clear, tenacious, confident steps to make their work experiences as satisfying, joyful, and meaningful as possible.
Crina and Kirsten discuss what must happen before you ask for something in the workplace; first determine what it is that you wants. Kirsten believes in honoring your preferences. Be clear and know that asking for what you want will provide your employer with the opportunity to create loyalty, retention, and longevity.
What sorts of things can a woman ask for? She can ask for a raise, a job title or description, more benefits, a flexible schedule, training, ways to seek advancement opportunities, physical modifications to the work space, challenging assignments and even such less tangible things as the consideration of her opinion and things that will make her feel effective at work.
Crina and Kirsten talk through challenges that stand in the way of asking, such as fear and the difficulty of talking about money or self worth. Our hosts encourage women to be confident and willing to navigate conversations that are not as easy. They provide advice on how to prepare , how to schedule a meeting with the appropriate decision-maker, to work to understand the perspective of the conversation partner and to anticipate possible objections to their proposals. Given the cost of not asking and the potential for productive workplace change after asking, Crina and Kirsten are confident that women will benefit much from actively seeking the workplace change that they desire.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of the Crina and Kirsten Get to Work podcast, hosts Crina and Kirsten discuss how women can get what they want in the workplace. They suggest starting by getting clear about what you want and getting ready to ask for it in the most effective way. They acknowledge that women’s voices are often not well represented or heard. Thus, women in the workplace will likely need to take clear, tenacious, confident steps to make their work experiences as satisfying, joyful, and meaningful as possible.
Crina and Kirsten discuss what must happen before you ask for something in the workplace; first determine what it is that you wants. Kirsten believes in honoring your preferences. Be clear and know that asking for what you want will provide your employer with the opportunity to create loyalty, retention, and longevity.
What sorts of things can a woman ask for? She can ask for a raise, a job title or description, more benefits, a flexible schedule, training, ways to seek advancement opportunities, physical modifications to the work space, challenging assignments and even such less tangible things as the consideration of her opinion and things that will make her feel effective at work.
Crina and Kirsten talk through challenges that stand in the way of asking, such as fear and the difficulty of talking about money or self worth. Our hosts encourage women to be confident and willing to navigate conversations that are not as easy. They provide advice on how to prepare , how to schedule a meeting with the appropriate decision-maker, to work to understand the perspective of the conversation partner and to anticipate possible objections to their proposals. Given the cost of not asking and the potential for productive workplace change after asking, Crina and Kirsten are confident that women will benefit much from actively seeking the workplace change that they desire.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
Being self aware can be a great gift to yourself and your coworkers, but are you being perceived accurately at work? What is your personal brand? Is it accurate? Is it helping you succeed or standing in your way?
Being self aware can be a great gift to yourself and your coworkers, but are you being perceived accurately at work? What is your personal brand? Is it accurate? Is it helping you succeed or standing in your way?
In this episode of Get To Work your hosts Crina and Kirsten discuss bad and horrible bosses. A few characteristics that typically marks a bad boss are micromanagement, macromanagement, failure to communicate with staff, not being solution oriented, or being all about oneself.
There are so many difficult behaviors that characterize bad bosses that BambooHR has created a Bad Boss Index. Some traits that were found were: having a condescending attitude, having a mean or bad temper, inappropriate behavior, and harassing the employees. An interesting finding from their research was that women are more annoyed about most behaviors than men, except for a few noted specific behaviors that seem to set off men more. But altogether, what made people the angriest was when someone took credit for his or her work.
In general, all behaviors that make employees feel devalued are characteristic of terrible bosses. If you find yourself in such a situation, Crina and Kirsten offer solutions. If you decide to leave the current toxic situation , create your exit plan but still do the best work you can. The mindset you have to have is to create the best springboard for your next job. And in the meantime, document your experience. These will enable you to improve yourself, your position, and figure out whether you were right at the time. And if you found yourself as the boss doing the above – please stop immediately.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Check out the BambooHR’s Bad Boss Index
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Get To Work your hosts Crina and Kirsten discuss bad and horrible bosses. A few characteristics that typically marks a bad boss are micromanagement, macromanagement, failure to communicate with staff, not being solution oriented, or being all about oneself.
There are so many difficult behaviors that characterize bad bosses that BambooHR has created a Bad Boss Index. Some traits that were found were: having a condescending attitude, having a mean or bad temper, inappropriate behavior, and harassing the employees. An interesting finding from their research was that women are more annoyed about most behaviors than men, except for a few noted specific behaviors that seem to set off men more. But altogether, what made people the angriest was when someone took credit for his or her work.
In general, all behaviors that make employees feel devalued are characteristic of terrible bosses. If you find yourself in such a situation, Crina and Kirsten offer solutions. If you decide to leave the current toxic situation , create your exit plan but still do the best work you can. The mindset you have to have is to create the best springboard for your next job. And in the meantime, document your experience. These will enable you to improve yourself, your position, and figure out whether you were right at the time. And if you found yourself as the boss doing the above – please stop immediately.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Check out the BambooHR’s Bad Boss Index
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
Today on Get to Work, Crina and Kirsten discuss unconscious incompetence and about what it’s like to have a Mr. Magoo or a Commander McBragg in the workplace. The two hosts also talk about how do you make work meaningful, joyous and fun, considering how long we spend our days in the workplace. We’re not going for mediocre! Everyone is welcome here.
The conversation starts with Crina sharing something that’s been on her mind: dress code. Although this is not the bulk of the episode’s theme, it is worth mentioning. Crina describes a show she was watching where middle school girls were worried about what to wear to a dance. The principal announces, “Don’t forget…nothing short, nothing tight…and we’re gonna have a good night!” What is this saying to young girls? Hide your sexuality, anything that might be found as attractive… and then come? The interesting thing is why the males weren’t being addressed. This topic really got Crina and Kirsten riled up- and could make for a successful new episode!
Next, the two discuss Mr. Magoo. Remember the cartoon with the short bald man? He walks the world with his eyes closed and bumps into things- portraying a hilarious juxtaposition. Are people in your workplace like Mr. Magoo? This is where unconscious incompetence comes in. Crina and Kirsten discuss Noel Burch’s four levels of competency, or lack thereof.
Sometimes unconscious incompetence is a beautiful place to be. It could be the feeling you have when you start a new job. The unfortunate thing is when someone stays in this phase for too long…especially when it’s your boss. Crina talks about an experience she had when her boss was struggling with this. Crina ended up reaching out to the board letting them know that he needed to move on as there was too much risk. Think the old, outdated cartoon called Commander McBragg. Luckily, her organization had a 360 Review Process and the feedback was unanimous. The worst-case scenario is your boss struggling with unconscious incompetence. If your co-worker is the one dealing with unconscious incompetence, it would be a great idea to create a relationship with them. You can offer support and a lot of details. A lot of these situations are not in your control so you will have to decide what works best for you.
Do you have a situation or story to share? Crina and Kirsten would love to hear from you!
Links
Learn more about Noel Burch
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
Today on Get to Work, Crina and Kirsten discuss unconscious incompetence and about what it’s like to have a Mr. Magoo or a Commander McBragg in the workplace. The two hosts also talk about how do you make work meaningful, joyous and fun, considering how long we spend our days in the workplace. We’re not going for mediocre! Everyone is welcome here.
The conversation starts with Crina sharing something that’s been on her mind: dress code. Although this is not the bulk of the episode’s theme, it is worth mentioning. Crina describes a show she was watching where middle school girls were worried about what to wear to a dance. The principal announces, “Don’t forget…nothing short, nothing tight…and we’re gonna have a good night!” What is this saying to young girls? Hide your sexuality, anything that might be found as attractive… and then come? The interesting thing is why the males weren’t being addressed. This topic really got Crina and Kirsten riled up- and could make for a successful new episode!
Next, the two discuss Mr. Magoo. Remember the cartoon with the short bald man? He walks the world with his eyes closed and bumps into things- portraying a hilarious juxtaposition. Are people in your workplace like Mr. Magoo? This is where unconscious incompetence comes in. Crina and Kirsten discuss Noel Burch’s four levels of competency, or lack thereof.
Sometimes unconscious incompetence is a beautiful place to be. It could be the feeling you have when you start a new job. The unfortunate thing is when someone stays in this phase for too long…especially when it’s your boss. Crina talks about an experience she had when her boss was struggling with this. Crina ended up reaching out to the board letting them know that he needed to move on as there was too much risk. Think the old, outdated cartoon called Commander McBragg. Luckily, her organization had a 360 Review Process and the feedback was unanimous. The worst-case scenario is your boss struggling with unconscious incompetence. If your co-worker is the one dealing with unconscious incompetence, it would be a great idea to create a relationship with them. You can offer support and a lot of details. A lot of these situations are not in your control so you will have to decide what works best for you.
Do you have a situation or story to share? Crina and Kirsten would love to hear from you!
Links
Learn more about Noel Burch
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
This episode of Get To Work is about finding your own professional mindset. Many find it hard to accept that we have control of our own mindset. In this episode, Crina and Kirsten tell you how you can not only identify yours, but develop it to help you better reach your goals.
Crina and Kirsten’s discussion of professional mindsets centers around the idea of scarcity vs. abundance, not as it is related to money, but in the opportunities you have around you. Crina and Kirsten share how these minds sets manifest themselves in the workplace and impact work. For an abundant mindset, you need to have big ideas, be able to stretch these ideas, and find the time to accomplish them. People with a scarcity mindset have few ideas and are scared by change in their professional life. Other dichotomies our hosts mention that you should consider are proactive vs. reactionary, are you happy vs. are you resentful, or do you create energy in a room or do you drain it. Take time to reflect on how you engage in your life.
The biggest factor that we have control over in the workplace is our own mindset. Reflect and be aware of your mindset. We can choose to let go of our limited mindset and open ourselves up to more possibilities and find how much more we’re capable of in the workplace.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Check out The Remarkable Advantage of Abundant Thinking
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
This episode of Get To Work is about finding your own professional mindset. Many find it hard to accept that we have control of our own mindset. In this episode, Crina and Kirsten tell you how you can not only identify yours, but develop it to help you better reach your goals.
Crina and Kirsten’s discussion of professional mindsets centers around the idea of scarcity vs. abundance, not as it is related to money, but in the opportunities you have around you. Crina and Kirsten share how these minds sets manifest themselves in the workplace and impact work. For an abundant mindset, you need to have big ideas, be able to stretch these ideas, and find the time to accomplish them. People with a scarcity mindset have few ideas and are scared by change in their professional life. Other dichotomies our hosts mention that you should consider are proactive vs. reactionary, are you happy vs. are you resentful, or do you create energy in a room or do you drain it. Take time to reflect on how you engage in your life.
The biggest factor that we have control over in the workplace is our own mindset. Reflect and be aware of your mindset. We can choose to let go of our limited mindset and open ourselves up to more possibilities and find how much more we’re capable of in the workplace.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Check out The Remarkable Advantage of Abundant Thinking
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get To Work, our hosts Crina and Kirsten talk about lifting women up in the workplace, supporting and advancing each other, and punching the patriarchy in the face.
Crina talks about her new consulting firm, and how hard it is to deal with the lack of feedback she gets from being her own boss. She tells a story about running into one of her clients at the grocery store, and her client spoke some kind words and encouraged her in her work. It’s those acts of kindness and words of affirmation that energize your trajectory, and it shows the importance of being generous with your compliments.
Our hosts talk about the glass ceiling preventing women from entering leadership roles. They reference the study Women In The Workplace 2018 by LeanIn.org. According to the study, women earn more bachelor’s degrees than men. Women were also found to be staying in the workplace just as long as men and they ask for raises and promotions as much as men. If all these things are true, how are women not promoted and hired as frequently? Why do women represent a significantly lower percentage of workers in management and upper-level management positions? What are the barriers to climbing the ladder? Much of it is a result of gender discrimination and bias. Both men and women have can have this bias.
How can we help and support each other? It’s women’s responsibility to lift each other up and help each other. Kirsten uses the women of the Obama administration as an example of women that do just that. It’s important to mentor other women or just be intentional with developing relationships with other women in your workplace.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get To Work, our hosts Crina and Kirsten talk about lifting women up in the workplace, supporting and advancing each other, and punching the patriarchy in the face.
Crina talks about her new consulting firm, and how hard it is to deal with the lack of feedback she gets from being her own boss. She tells a story about running into one of her clients at the grocery store, and her client spoke some kind words and encouraged her in her work. It’s those acts of kindness and words of affirmation that energize your trajectory, and it shows the importance of being generous with your compliments.
Our hosts talk about the glass ceiling preventing women from entering leadership roles. They reference the study Women In The Workplace 2018 by LeanIn.org. According to the study, women earn more bachelor’s degrees than men. Women were also found to be staying in the workplace just as long as men and they ask for raises and promotions as much as men. If all these things are true, how are women not promoted and hired as frequently? Why do women represent a significantly lower percentage of workers in management and upper-level management positions? What are the barriers to climbing the ladder? Much of it is a result of gender discrimination and bias. Both men and women have can have this bias.
How can we help and support each other? It’s women’s responsibility to lift each other up and help each other. Kirsten uses the women of the Obama administration as an example of women that do just that. It’s important to mentor other women or just be intentional with developing relationships with other women in your workplace.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get To Work, our hosts Crina and Kirsten consider different aspects of networking. Specifically, the challenges that women face when it comes to networking. Crina and Kirsten offer ways that listeners can address engage those challenges. Our hosts begin the episode by sharing their own experience with one form of networking, social media usage, or lack thereof. They discuss how social media can be a tool for networking depending on where you are at in your career.
Crina and Kirsten discuss the ‘why’ and ‘how’ behind networking. Shocking to both hosts, 70% of people in 2016 were hired at a company where they already had a connection there. They report additional statistics found that 80% of professionals consider networking to be one of the core components of their success; whilst 35% of folks say that a casual conversation with another person has led to a significant opportunity. Networking seems to be the “magic ingredient” to success. Crina talks about the networking challenges she faced while working for a non-profit and how she’s changed her strategy now that she’s a consultant. Now, as a consultant, her entire business is based on networking; including utilizing the personal connections she’s made over the course of her career. Kirsten tells a story about one of her networking failures.
Going to events does not necessarily equate to making personal connections with people in the community.
Now, as a consultant, her entire business is based on networking; including utilizing the personal connections she’s made over the course of her career.
Kirsten and Crina discuss the challenges women specifically face in networking. These challenges include a woman being concerned that a networking opportunity with a man may be perceived as some sort of advance. Another would be a competition mindset that says there can only be so many women “at the top”. They suggest women-only networking circles as a solution to some of those challenges. And as always, they end with positive steps working women can take to create a robust network of support and connection.Women should be more intentional about networking with other women. Kirsten tells a story about one of her networking failures, and our hosts finish by talking about the benefits of keeping a written list of people in your network.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
On this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get To Work, our hosts Crina and Kirsten consider different aspects of networking. Specifically, the challenges that women face when it comes to networking. Crina and Kirsten offer ways that listeners can address engage those challenges. Our hosts begin the episode by sharing their own experience with one form of networking, social media usage, or lack thereof. They discuss how social media can be a tool for networking depending on where you are at in your career.
Crina and Kirsten discuss the ‘why’ and ‘how’ behind networking. Shocking to both hosts, 70% of people in 2016 were hired at a company where they already had a connection there. They report additional statistics found that 80% of professionals consider networking to be one of the core components of their success; whilst 35% of folks say that a casual conversation with another person has led to a significant opportunity. Networking seems to be the “magic ingredient” to success. Crina talks about the networking challenges she faced while working for a non-profit and how she’s changed her strategy now that she’s a consultant. Now, as a consultant, her entire business is based on networking; including utilizing the personal connections she’s made over the course of her career. Kirsten tells a story about one of her networking failures.
Going to events does not necessarily equate to making personal connections with people in the community.
Now, as a consultant, her entire business is based on networking; including utilizing the personal connections she’s made over the course of her career.
Kirsten and Crina discuss the challenges women specifically face in networking. These challenges include a woman being concerned that a networking opportunity with a man may be perceived as some sort of advance. Another would be a competition mindset that says there can only be so many women “at the top”. They suggest women-only networking circles as a solution to some of those challenges. And as always, they end with positive steps working women can take to create a robust network of support and connection.Women should be more intentional about networking with other women. Kirsten tells a story about one of her networking failures, and our hosts finish by talking about the benefits of keeping a written list of people in your network.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get To Work, your hosts sit down to discuss disengagement in the workplace, how it contributes to dissatisfaction in the workplace and how we can become more engaged. Before delving into this subject, we take a little detour to consider ‘Marie Kondo-ing our heads’ and the value of trimming out activities and other time thieves from our lives to focus on what’s most important. By reevaluating your time and how you use it, Kirsten points out how we can maintain ease, joy, and meaning – in addition to our well-being, connections, curiosity, productivity, creativity, and generally, living a wholesome life. This revaluation helps put quality over quantity.
And on to disengagement . . . .
Gallup’s 2018 poll regarding the state of the American workplace shows that 70% of U.S. workforce is disengaged while at work. This is a staggering number. And 13% are actively disengaged – meaning they are actually sabotaging or getting in the way of work. Lots of these folks are actively looking for new jobs. Wow – that is a lot of unhappy people and gloomy findings! When employees are disengaged with their work, they start exhibiting questionable and unacceptable behavior. This includes sleeping, napping, sexual acts, browsing, watching movies and series, online shopping, new workplace shopping, and basically everything that is not your job. Disengagement is a symptom of a bigger problem and an indication that we need to do something else to become more engaged. We cannot have joy, meaning, fun and productivity in the workplace when we are disengaged. As Kirsten says, when sex, drugs and rock and roll are part of your workday – good to check in!
Crina and Kirsten offer a few helpful ways to assess our own engagement or disengagement. We can ask ourselves some questions, such as: ‘do I feel committed to the mission?’; ‘do I feel like part of the team?’; ‘do I have access to the things I need to do my job?’; ‘is there something new for me to learn?’; ‘do I feel valued and recognized?’. The answers to these questions can give you valuable insight into your disengagement or engagement with your workplace, and help you change things for the better. The fact is – you can improve matters. You can approach your manager and ask for help about doing your job and getting what you want out of it. Don’t let yourself be disengaged further when you can change the situation for the better.
Links:
Harper, Jim. “Employee Engagement on the Rise in the U.S.” Gallop, 26 Aug. 2018
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Crina and Kirsten Get To Work, your hosts sit down to discuss disengagement in the workplace, how it contributes to dissatisfaction in the workplace and how we can become more engaged. Before delving into this subject, we take a little detour to consider ‘Marie Kondo-ing our heads’ and the value of trimming out activities and other time thieves from our lives to focus on what’s most important. By reevaluating your time and how you use it, Kirsten points out how we can maintain ease, joy, and meaning – in addition to our well-being, connections, curiosity, productivity, creativity, and generally, living a wholesome life. This revaluation helps put quality over quantity.
And on to disengagement . . . .
Gallup’s 2018 poll regarding the state of the American workplace shows that 70% of U.S. workforce is disengaged while at work. This is a staggering number. And 13% are actively disengaged – meaning they are actually sabotaging or getting in the way of work. Lots of these folks are actively looking for new jobs. Wow – that is a lot of unhappy people and gloomy findings! When employees are disengaged with their work, they start exhibiting questionable and unacceptable behavior. This includes sleeping, napping, sexual acts, browsing, watching movies and series, online shopping, new workplace shopping, and basically everything that is not your job. Disengagement is a symptom of a bigger problem and an indication that we need to do something else to become more engaged. We cannot have joy, meaning, fun and productivity in the workplace when we are disengaged. As Kirsten says, when sex, drugs and rock and roll are part of your workday – good to check in!
Crina and Kirsten offer a few helpful ways to assess our own engagement or disengagement. We can ask ourselves some questions, such as: ‘do I feel committed to the mission?’; ‘do I feel like part of the team?’; ‘do I have access to the things I need to do my job?’; ‘is there something new for me to learn?’; ‘do I feel valued and recognized?’. The answers to these questions can give you valuable insight into your disengagement or engagement with your workplace, and help you change things for the better. The fact is – you can improve matters. You can approach your manager and ask for help about doing your job and getting what you want out of it. Don’t let yourself be disengaged further when you can change the situation for the better.
Links:
Harper, Jim. “Employee Engagement on the Rise in the U.S.” Gallop, 26 Aug. 2018
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Get To Work, Crina and Kirsten discuss authenticity in the workplace and whether it’s important and appropriate to bring your whole self to work. Sometimes it may feel like being who we truly are at work is very challenging. We may feel like we have to separate ourselves, dividing our personalities into our ‘work-self’ and our ‘everything-else-self’. This is a very common phenomenon – so we are not alone there.
The two hosts share how studies have shown that people who are able to be more authentic at work are more satisfied and more productive. Bosses, managers, and other employees actually value authenticity in the workplace. However, there is a need for a line between what’s relevant or irrelevant for your work.
An additional advantage to being more authentic at work is that people will likely trust you more. People are drawn to people who are authentic, because they can trust them. Just assume the best when being more authentic – and watch how it develops into something beautiful.
Crina and Kirsten advise to trust the process. Bring your whole self, but don’t bring your whole drama. Be focused, genuine, and open your soul to vulnerability and establishing relations with your environment at work. What awaits you at the end of the whole process is an outcome that you will not even believe was possible – and one that will increase your happiness, satisfaction and joy in the workplace.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
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In this episode of Get To Work, Crina and Kirsten discuss authenticity in the workplace and whether it’s important and appropriate to bring your whole self to work. Sometimes it may feel like being who we truly are at work is very challenging. We may feel like we have to separate ourselves, dividing our personalities into our ‘work-self’ and our ‘everything-else-self’. This is a very common phenomenon – so we are not alone there.
The two hosts share how studies have shown that people who are able to be more authentic at work are more satisfied and more productive. Bosses, managers, and other employees actually value authenticity in the workplace. However, there is a need for a line between what’s relevant or irrelevant for your work.
An additional advantage to being more authentic at work is that people will likely trust you more. People are drawn to people who are authentic, because they can trust them. Just assume the best when being more authentic – and watch how it develops into something beautiful.
Crina and Kirsten advise to trust the process. Bring your whole self, but don’t bring your whole drama. Be focused, genuine, and open your soul to vulnerability and establishing relations with your environment at work. What awaits you at the end of the whole process is an outcome that you will not even believe was possible – and one that will increase your happiness, satisfaction and joy in the workplace.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
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In this episode of Get To Work, Crina and Kirsten discuss the benefits and challenges of developing friendships in the workplace. They start by posing the question, “What does it mean for someone to be a ‘friend’?” and our hosts get real with each other when discussing the vulnerability it takes to get to such a place in a relationship. Crina and Kirsten about how different age groups and different types of people approach workplace friendships differently. Some want to be friends with all their coworkers, and some view it as unprofessional.
According to Aristotle, there are three types of friendship -- Utility, Pleasure, and of the Mutual Good (based on mutual appreciation). The hosts describe these types of friendships in depth, allowing some observation into others’ experiences and relationships within these categories. The three types involve different levels of trust and intimacy. Using examples from their own experience, Kirsten and Crina discuss how they’ve seen these types play out in the workplace. Crina and Kirsten have different perspectives on depth and quantity of friendships.
Our hosts discuss how one of the biggest predictors of your satisfaction in the workplace is whether or not you have a friend. Having someone you feel connected to in the workplace, influences happiness while working, but can also come with problems. One such issue is feeling left out when others have exhibited interconnectedness. Crina and Kirsten share instances in which they felt left out. Also shared are different ways they’ve seen others take initiative in developing workplace friendships, as well as the ways they’ve observed people set up boundaries.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
In this episode of Get To Work, Crina and Kirsten discuss the benefits and challenges of developing friendships in the workplace. They start by posing the question, “What does it mean for someone to be a ‘friend’?” and our hosts get real with each other when discussing the vulnerability it takes to get to such a place in a relationship. Crina and Kirsten about how different age groups and different types of people approach workplace friendships differently. Some want to be friends with all their coworkers, and some view it as unprofessional.
According to Aristotle, there are three types of friendship -- Utility, Pleasure, and of the Mutual Good (based on mutual appreciation). The hosts describe these types of friendships in depth, allowing some observation into others’ experiences and relationships within these categories. The three types involve different levels of trust and intimacy. Using examples from their own experience, Kirsten and Crina discuss how they’ve seen these types play out in the workplace. Crina and Kirsten have different perspectives on depth and quantity of friendships.
Our hosts discuss how one of the biggest predictors of your satisfaction in the workplace is whether or not you have a friend. Having someone you feel connected to in the workplace, influences happiness while working, but can also come with problems. One such issue is feeling left out when others have exhibited interconnectedness. Crina and Kirsten share instances in which they felt left out. Also shared are different ways they’ve seen others take initiative in developing workplace friendships, as well as the ways they’ve observed people set up boundaries.
We love to hear and share your stories, so write us at the email address included below!
Links:
Tune in and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Stitcher, and wherever you listen to podcasts.
Send us your stories, questions, feedback, and comments to:
We have a single mission: to help women find joy, meaning and ease at work and in life!
Find us anywhere you get your pods or visit us at our website.
Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review.
Thanks for listening!
We have a single mission: to help women find joy, meaning and ease at work and in life!
Find us anywhere you get your pods or visit us at our website.
Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review.
Thanks for listening!
